Marked
by Nomi's Secret
Summary: Rox is an ordinary woman. Apart from the string of very bad luck thats followed her. Now things are getting worse. Demons want her, angels fear her and Cas is to protect her until they decide her fate, thats until he breaks the rules and falls in love...
1. Coffee & Ketchup

**Marked**

_A/N- Hey y'all, this is a new story from me. A Cas one too which is new but he doesn't come into it for a little while yet. Bare with me though it may take a while to update. Well first person which is a change for me. Enjoy._

**_Chapter One- Coffee & Ketchup_**

_Well, this is me or more like my story. I'm just you're average survivor of the destruction of most of mankind. Y'know all those years ago I'd have never thought that any of it would, or actually could, happen; the whole loosing everyone you love, the forbidden love, the near death chase and the Apocalypse. Sounds like a typical B-rated movie script, I know. Hell, even when I look back I think it must have been a dream or at least part of it. _

_But this is my story, __**Our**__ story. _

_The story of how it all started and how it all ended for a small town girl from South Colorado and the people that she met along the way. The story of the person who changed my life before it really had chance to get going and the person who tried his best to set it right, the person who didn't care and took me for what I was and died in the process of protecting me, the friends and the big ass battle at the end of it all. Yeah, life is a bitch. But it's more real than any movie could ever be._

_I'm writing this for those who died not only in the battle but all those that died in the war between Heaven and Hell; the hunters, the friends, the family, the lovers and the innocent. This is for those brave people who put themselves in the firing line in the name of the best and worst feeling imaginable- Love. _

_I'm writing this so I don't forget, so that no one ever forgets what they did. What they all did. What he did. _

_And nearly all of them promised me not to write anything mushy..._

_Oh well, guys. I love every one of you, especially my angel. I miss you._

_-M-_

I reached over for the chipped mug of coffee only a little distance away from my position on the red stool near the counter. I looked down at the black mush that had gathered in the bottom. It looked more like mud than filtered caffeine. It clung to the mug for dear life and I'd always wondered why people had milk in their coffee. Now I knew. To stop it from sticking to the goddam bottom. I downed the rest of it with one long gulp and felt the almost solid mixture crawl down the inside of my neck and into my stomach. I made a face to myself. It wasn't as if I could complain. My uncle and only living relative had made it from his new fancy machine he'd bought for the diner that he'd owned ever since I could remember.

When he'd noticed that I'd finished he smiled to himself through the hatch and walked out into the main diner and looked at me. A huge expectant grin had spread across his face wrinkling his weather beaten and tanned skin, "so, what do you think?"

"It's great but," I forced a smile not wanting to disappointing, "I have milk with coffee."

"Oh sorry Rox," he gaped like a fish for a few moments then something sparkled in his eyes, "no you don't."

"I do," I sounded like a little kid, a little kid that was actually twenty years in the past.

He folded his arms across his growing belly and scoffed, "since when?"

"Last night," I looked away choosing to stare at a bottle of vinegar instead of his face. I took in its detail; the red and black label telling everyone where it was from and slowly watching an air bubble from the bottom rise up.

He laughed, "Liar, I saw you make some coffee and you didn't even touch the milk."

"You obviously weren't looking when I did," I replied stubbornly and went over to where the aprons were kept and tied one around my tiny waist. It wasn't brand new but it wasn't stained or fraying either. It covered my half of my thighs and lower abdomen making sure my jeans wouldn't get stained if I dropped anything. Then the antique jukebox sitting in the corner of the huge room startled me. It started playing _How To Save A Life _by_ The Fray._

How the hell had that happened? I wandered over to it and pressed the off button. The old thing was on the blink, it was finally going to die one of these days. What the weirdest thing was though was the fact that it wasn't even plugged in! My eyebrow rose partially as I went back to getting ready.

"Rox," his voice turned stern as I twisted my shoulder length hair into a French twist.

I turned to face him still puzzled, "What?"

"Tell me the truth," he said and his warm brown eyes were fixed on my own sapphire blue irises, "its only coffee."

"Erm, well," I struggled for an answer not wanting to upset him, "just check the filter next time, okay?"

He nodded; the white chefs had slipping out of place and revealing white and scattered hair, "okay."

_Oh crap, I had upset him, damnit._

I knew that tone of voice better than anyone. That 'oh, okay then' slightly depressed one. He'd used it an awful lot when I had been a teenager.

I sighed and looked over at the red and green cockerel clock hanging over the wooden red painted door. It was seven fifty five and there were only another five minutes until we opened. My uncle fiddled with his stained apron and he went over to the coffee machine and started checking it. He was close to fifty five and slightly overweight. I'd told him to lay off the hamburgers but I'd gotten nowhere.

I shook my head and made sure all the tables were clean and fully stocked with sauces and condiments. After this I changed the sign on the door from 'closed' to 'open'. All the time my Uncle Jay was silent.

I glanced over at him from where I was standing by the door. He had his head down and had nearly disembowelled the machine. I sighed just as our loyal customer, Mr Stafford, walked into the building. He was an old but kind man and had been the first in the diner everyday for the past twenty five years.

"Hey Mister Stafford," I called to him with a smile noticing that he was wearing his usual dark suit.

He waved at me with a wrinkled hand, he was short with grey hair and dark skin, "blah don't call me that, just call me Terry like everyone else 'round here."

I laughed, this was our usual greeting and had been since i was two years old. Obviously, I hadn't been able to pronounce it properly back then so it sounded like I was saying 'hey Miser Safferd', "you just having the usual?"

"Coffee, sweet like my wife and a good old fried breakfast, the sort that the doctor disagrees with," he chuckled to himself and sat at the counter in his normal spot close to the till.

I made him a pot of coffee and me and the old man gossiped about the local happenings for a while until I noticed Jay hadn't gone to make his breakfast. I rolled my eyes.

"Sorry," I apologised then walked over to where he was still trying to fix the machine, "Uncle Jay?"

He looked up with various metal parts in his hands, "Yeah?"

"Terry wants his breakfast," was all I said and I watched him put the tools down and go into the kitchen where he started to fry bacon, eggs and sausages.

I walked back over to Terry and apologised again, "Sorry."

"Ahhh don't fret over it," he shook his head, "truth be told, I like the talking."

I smiled, not many customers were as understanding and laid back as he was. It was almost a breath of fresh air.

"Basically," he finished his tale, "I don't believe a word that comes outta that woman's mouth, what's he fiddling with anyways?" he queried as he peered over my shoulder and gazed at the coffee machine that was currently in bits.

I looked too then turned back to him, "nothin' much, just a new coffee machine."

I topped his coffee up with the pot I'd made myself.

He shuddered as he replied, "Technology, I don't get it why can't things stay the way they are?"

"Because it's supposed to be progress," I commented and looked out over the parking lot nearby. I saw a dark blue car park up and waited for someone to get out. No one moved.

The old guy scoffed and grumbled just as a few more customers came in.

_-M-_

Three hours later at lunch time the place was full of people eating. I was leaning on the counter keeping an eye out for anyone who wanted anything. All the booths were full with locals and there were two strangers who were travelling on a road trip apparently. They weren't no trouble 'course and Jay was still messing around with that goddam machine. He'd managed to put it back together but it wasn't working at all now. I couldn't stand it any longer. I walked over and moved him out of the way, I lifted the hatch and clicked a leaver into place, I closed the lid back down and put a mug underneath the nozzle with a better filter. A few seconds later and along with a growling gurgling sound a velvety black liquid poured out into the white mug below it. It filled nearly to the top and I gave it to Jay.

"Taste it then," I said after he looked at me then the machine then the coffee.

He lifted it to his lips but pulled it sharply away, "Jeez, that's hot!"

I gave him a dumbstruck look, "well what do you expect, coffee liquor ice cream?"

"Well no but," he started then the man nearly thirty years my senior gave a stern look, "how'd you do that?"

I sighed and grabbed the instruction booklet that was lying unused on the counter, "I read it while you were in the kitchen."

His eyes looked down at the booklet in my pale hands, "wise ass."

I grinned like a Cheshire cat, "Must be my good eyesight"

"I told you, I am not going to the opticians," he told me for the seventh time that week.

"Fine, go blind. I don't care," I said as I saw a customer wave me over for something, I left him and walked over to where the strangers were.

"Hey," I gave them a complimentary smile, "What can I do for you?"

They were two men, I could've sworn that they were gay. The shorter of the pair had green eyes, light brown hair so it could've been blonde and had sleeves rolled up to the elbows showing off his well toned muscles. He was a few years older than me. He was dressed a bit like a trucker or someone always on the road. He was definitely the masculine one of the relationship.

_Possibly overcompensating..._

The other was taller by a few inches and had darker hair and hazel eyes. He was feminine; one of those in-touch-with-his-feelings sort. He was wearing a light shirt on top of another and had been stopped half way through talking by the other. He was roughly my own age give or take a few months.

_Probably a lovers tiff..._

I looked both in them in the eye as I waited patiently for them to reply. The taller guy sighed and gave up trying to talk to the other choosing to sit back in his seat and look upset.

"Just some more ketchup please," the other guy answered more than a little stressed.

I nodded with a pleasant smile, "sure."

They had gone through an entire bottle! How the hell did they manage that? Did they freaking drink it instead of the coffee? I sighed and went behind the counter to fetch them another. I grabbed air as I groped along the shelf for one. I looked along it and found that they'd all gone.

_Great..._

"Uncle Jay?" he turned around when I called, "we got any ketchup back there?"

"Nope, we're all out," his reply sounded with a sigh.

I walked back over, "sorry guys, it looks like you ate it all up."

The guy who had spoke to me chuckled, "perfect, as if I didn't have enough problems. I can't even finish my burger and fries with some ketchup on the side!"

"Oh yeah, 'cause everything is my fault!" the other guy replied trying to match his companions voice volume.

"No Sam, but if you do that again it will be!" he shouted back.

I whistled as they calmed down noticing that people were starting to look, "take it easy guys, it's just some ketchup."

"Look lady," he turned on me, "you know squat about me or my life so back off!"

"No I don't but what I do know is that what you're doing here is disrupting my customers," I leant in and whispered dangerously in his ear, "So if you wanna finish your burger and fries I suggest you shut up."

He didn't reply.

"Sorry," the other guy apologised, "rough day."

I shook my head, "its okay. I know a good relationship councillor if you're interested?"

"What?" the guy roughly my own age asked confused.

"Nothing. I was just wondering if she'd help with ketchup withdrawals," I made a joke and left them to it.

Men were a pain in the ass on their own let alone in a relationship. It was even worse when men were in relationships with other men. There wasn't anything wrong with it, it was just goddam annoying when they had arguments when I was working and the diner was nearly full of people. The few people who had been staring turned back around and carried on eating and talking.

Jay came out of the kitchen to join me near the till, a couple had just paid their bill and had left a very nice tip in the jar. He thanked them then he turned to me.

"Can you go and pick up some more ketchup?" he asked me.

"Oh," I paused for a moment and looked around. It was starting to die down, "sure thing, from David's warehouse?"

He nodded and I took off my apron and hung it up before taking some bills from the till and leaving the diner.


	2. Not Crows

_**Chapter Two- Not Crows**_

_A/N- Thank you for the reviews and alerts and favourites! _

I walked over the sidewalk that was in shadow over to my green 1998 Volvo parked nearby in a no clamp zone. It was sunny and warm which was normal for the late summer day or rather early autumn day.

Over in the parking lot opposite I noticed that the blue car that I saw that morning still hadn't moved. It was about three years old and was practically unmarked. There were no scratches, no signs on the tyres that it had even been driven before and no flecks of dirt anywhere. I saw that two people were stood nearby; a man and a woman. They were both wearing sunglasses to protect their eyes from the glaring sunlight, not that I could blame them.

I squinted through the sunlight at them. I had a very strong feeling that something about them was wrong. They looked like they were a mirage and not quite what they seemed. For a moment they were all fuzzy and moving in and out of focus. Seconds later my eyes could focus on them and I could see them properly.

The man was wearing jeans, sneakers and a fabric imitation of a biker jacket. He looked like he belonged to one of those bars you find by the highway and that he would actually walk away if you needed help down a dark alley way late at night. He didn't look pleasant at all.

The woman on the other hand was wearing a quality leather jacket, jeans and high stilettos. She looked less aggressive than the man stood next to her. I could see a small smile sitting on her pretty face as she surveyed the surroundings.

I couldn't help but wonder what a pair like them was doing in a little town like Charleston. They seemed to be waiting for someone as they kept glancing up and down the street before checking the town clock. When I looked again I felt their eyes staring intently at me. I walked quicker to my car and my breath started to get shallower and quicker.

_Calm down! _

I kept telling myself that as I power walked to my car. Logically, there was no reason for them to be looking at me. I couldn't even tell what direction they were looking in with those sunglasses covering their eyes. So why did I assume that they had been staring at me?

The heat was starting to get to me.

Why would they even be looking at me? I was nothing special. I was only a waitress with no husband or kids, no degrees and no knowledge outside of knowing how to make a damn good espresso.

When I had reached the driver's side of my car I looked again casually over my shoulder and they were still staring or at least their heads were twisted in my direction. I unlocked the door and got in as fast as I could and locked the door after myself. I tried to calm myself down. My heart must've been going well over its normal rate and my breathing was so fast and shallow that I thought that I was going to faint.

"Calm down for God's sake," I said to myself as I placed both my hands on the steering wheel before focusing on my breathing. I felt it gradually get slower and my heart rate went with it.

I looked into the rear view mirror to check that I was alright to reverse and saw a pair of startlingly blue eyes staring back. I knew in an instant that they weren't mine! They belonged to a man, he had dark hair and I turned around to face him.

All I saw in the backseat were a few old magazines that I had forgotten to take to the recycling plant and a few CDs. There was no man there.

He was gone...

I swallowed the growing lump of fear that sat within me and turned the key in the ignition and waited for it to connect. After less than a split second the engine began to rumble and I made my way over to the warehouse just out of town.

_-M-_

It was nearly one o'clock when I pulled into the parking lot outside the large warehouse that held everything and anything anyone could ever want when cooking or running a diner, shop or bakery. Hell, even the local housewives came here to do their grocery shopping.

I got out of the car and walked up to the large, automatic glass door. It slid apart and allowed me to enter the cooled building that had industrial sized shelves holding things ranging from tins and condiments to candy and salted meats. The huge refrigerators that lined the back of the building held milk, juice and milkshakes in large quantities as well as fresh meat and yoghurt. This place was run by one of my old friends, David Guano. The man was nearly seventy years old and had come over from the Caribbean in the forties to find work after the war.

I found the aisle that housed the condiments that I needed quickly enough. I surveyed the shelf looking for the brand of ketchup we served, the one that tasted like Heinz but was a fraction of the cost. When I found it I grabbed an entire crate and carried it to the till. It was heavy and wasn't going to do my back any good but I wasn't hanging around enough to mess around with a shopping cart. Those things were damn difficult to control.

There was a young girl working on the till. She looked about eighteen and had probably taken this as a summer job that carried on after she'd graduated from high school. I guessed she was David's granddaughter with the way she spoke and her dark skin. She had the same laidback voice that he did.

"Hey, that it?" she laughed, "You normally come in with seven carts of that stuff!"

I smiled and tapped on the top of the box with a painted nail, "we ran out of this early."

The charge was eleven dollars and sixty cents. If I didn't know better I could have sworn that it had gone up in price but I wasn't going to argue. I needed to get back to the diner. I dumped the plastic bottles filled with red tasty sauce in the trunk and drove back towards town.

_-M-_

I knew that I'd pass by the house on my way back so I stopped by to check the mail. I didn't tell Jay because he didn't have to know. I knew that there wasn't going to be a ketchup revolt anytime soon. Well, there could be if those two guys had stuck around.

I didn't park up on the drive but instead parked on the sidewalk so I could take off without having to reverse out into the road. I got out and locked the car up. Before I walked up the untidy path to the house I got the mail out of the mail box.

The house was an average two storey with three bedrooms and one bathroom. The garden was over grown because neither me nor Uncle Jay had bothered to mow the grass or pull the weeds from the flower beds. I walked up the path up to the wooden porch with the letters and bills in my left hand. The stones that made up the path were uneven and out of place. I tripped on one close to the porch but steadied myself before I hit the floor.

I promised myself that I was going to put them right as soon as it came around to Sunday- my day off.

My house keys were attached to the chain that it shared with my car keys and I had to open the thin wooden door covered in mesh before I could get to the door that would let me into my home. I put the large old fashioned key into the door and turned it twice and pushed hard. It gave way and I was allowed into the house.

My home was an organised mess. The carpets were clean and the bathroom and kitchen were cleaned regularly but beyond that it was honestly a mess. Coats were thrown on to the table or the rack where they were meant to go if we weren't in a rush and laundry was piled up at the bottom of the stairs ready to be put in the machine late at night or over the weekend.

I closed the door behind me and began to sieve through the enormous amount of letters from the past week that the post man had kindly decided to leave until today before delivering. It was known to almost everyone that we didn't get along.

"Bill, bill, junk," I only looked at the front of the envelope knowing just be the size, weight of the envelope and the various stamps printed onto it what it contained. I paused when I saw something addressed directly to me and walked into the kitchen to put the others down so I could open it without dropping the others.

I started to rip my way into the white letter from upstate New York. When I managed to get the letter out of its envelope I heard scuttling on the roof. It sounded like something was scrambling on the tiles.

I brushed it off, _it's just a crow_.

I pulled the letter out and read it. It was an old friend from high school who had moved and gone away to college. She told me that she wanted to meet up again and catch up because she was coming down to visit old friends and family. There was a list of various other details.

I smiled to myself at the thought of seeing one of my closest friends again and the scrambling carried on. Then there was a smash causing me to jump. I noted that one of the tiles had fallen. It must have.

"Damn crows," I muttered and cast a scornful look up at the ceiling.

Suddenly my cell phone started buzzing in the pocket of my pants. I'd placed it on silent since I had started work that morning and guessed that it was probably Jay calling to check up on me. I lifted the black and battered Nokia out and looked at the flashing screen. It was a text from an unknown and untraceable number.

It wasn't Jay so who was it?

Maybe it was one of those banks or insurance companies trying a new approach. I'd heard that that they were trying to reach a wider market by using cell phones as a way to contact customers.

I opened the text and read the two words out loud, "Not crows."

Someone was messing with me, they had to be. I put the cell down on the side board and looked around warily. No one could have heard me, could they?

No they couldn't. That was absurd and there wasn't even anyone outside the house. What the hell was going on?

I sighed pushing the situation to the back of my mind for the present time. I'd figure it out later along with a bottle of good wine and a box of chocolates. I walked out into the yard to see what had happened to those tiles. I saw that not only one but five slate coloured tiles had come free from the roof and were lying smashed up on the ground. They were scattered across the un-mown grass in tiny pieces. When I looked up I realised that they had left a large hole in the roof.

"Great," was all I could seem to say, this day was really starting to get on my nerves.

Well the text had been right. There was no way a crow could do that sort of damage. Maybe some kids had been messing around up there and then tried to screw with me although it didn't seem plausible.

I walked back into the house and picked up the black telephone in the hallway and dialled the number of a good friend who just happened to be good at fixing things like this. He was a real handy man and had never turned me down.

"Hey," he answered in his husky tone. I got the odd impression that he was holding a pencil between his teeth, "Robby 'ere. What can I do for ya?"

"Hey Rob. Its Rox Scavo," I replied and heard the tone in his voice lift almost instantly.

"Rox!" he exclaimed and I heard something clatter on the floor on this end. I guessed that it was the pencil, "How's it goin'?"

I allowed myself a short burst of laughter, "it's going good I guess."

Not strictly true but he didn't need to know that. He wouldn't think I was mad or anything. He would just get me to report everything strange to the police who would write me off as a nut case. Then probably do something stupid to prove that I wasn't.

"But?" he asked. Whenever I got in touch with him now it was often over something that needed his handy man skills or his dark sense of humour that never failed to make me smile and sometimes double over with giggles.

"But," I almost teased him with what I wanted but thought better of it. That just wasn't fair. We were friends now not lovers, "some of the tiles in the roof have gotten loose and smashed."

"Oh yeah, are you still out on Berkside?" he asked if I was still living at the house I'd always lived at after the fire, I knew what he was doing. He was wondering if I'd moved in with a guy. It had been years since we had dated but he still had a soft spot for me. He had never taken another woman out on a date.

"Where else could I go?" I joked, "So I was wondering if you'd be good to me and Uncle Jay and come out and fix the roof before it decides to start raining and we end up with a swimming pool in the guest room?"

I heard his rasping laugh on the other end of the line, "For you no way but I'll do anything for Jay, I'll be there in ten."

"Charmin'," I said and placed the receiver home.

I remembered what it had been like between me and him. I had been engaged to Robert Hollins once but that was a long time ago when I was the tender innocent age of just twenty. Maybe in the big cities I would've been wiser to what I really wanted but when you're brought up in a country town where everyone knows everyone all you really want is the family life. He offered me that.

Jeez, I could still remember the day that we met at middle school. We just bumped into each other in the hallway and were inseparable from then on. That was until I was twenty two. A date was set for the wedding and the honeymoon was already paid for. Everything was perfect.

I shook my head to rid myself of those dark and miserable thoughts and waited for him to appear and fix my roof before it rained.


	3. Bad Day

_**Chapter Three- Bad Day**_

_A/N- Thanks again for reading. You guys mean a lot to me!_

I was sat in the shabby living room flicking through the local newspaper. There really wasn't anything else to do while I waited for Robert. I was sat on the worn black leather sofa that was older than I cared to remember. My eyes darted to the window. I was overly aware that it could rain any second and I really didn't want that to happen.

_Damnit, Robby you had best get here before the weather turns!_

Maybe I should've phoned Uncle Jay to let him know where I was so he wasn't caught up thinking that I had either gotten lost or squished by one of those semi's on the freeway. I dismissed the thought almost instantly knowing that he'd just close the diner and rush down here. Not that he could actually do anything. He'd just watch and talk to the neighbours about the damn birds, about how big they must've been or that they're mutated 'cause of all the pollution, blah, blah, blah.

After a few minutes I sensed a truck pull up at the bottom of the drive and park up next to my own car. I pulled myself up and off of the sofa before walking up to the door before he had even managed to knock. I opened it while his fist was still in the air. He smiled at me. I smiled back taking a moment to take him all in.

He was tall, shaven and his dark hair was cut close to his scalp and he was dressed in a pair of worn jeans and a button up shirt that had definitely seen better days. It was blue and the colour was starting to fade. Then I saw the patchwork of scars on the left side of his face. They started at eye level and worked their way down his face, neck and disappeared below the line of his shirt. I gulped as I remembered how he'd gotten them. I brushed the thoughts away afraid that they would darken my mood like they always did.

"Thanks for doing this," I told him as I walked out to join him on to the porch leaving the door open behind me and shading my eyes against the bright sun.

He shrugged, "it's nothin'."

I walked off of the porch and down onto the dying grass. He followed me and looked at the broken slate tiles lying scattered across the yard then stared up at the roof where the hole was gaping like an open mouth.

He whistled.

"Yeah," was all that I could say as we both looked up at the newly installed skylight.

"If you wanted an extra window all you had to do was pick up the phone," he gave me a cheeky smile.

"Huh. It's a much better job than you could do," I winked at him.

For a second our eyes caught and no one spoke.

After the awkward moment had passed he licked his lips, "I guess I better get the ladder then."

I went and sat on the bottom step of the porch and watched him thoughtfully. Sometimes I couldn't help but wonder how things could be different. I mean maybe we would have kids by now or maybe we would have our own house. Heck, we might've moved out of this town.

Then I reminded myself there wasn't point in wondering about that because it didn't happen and never would. So I wasn't going to waste my thoughts on it.

_Think about something useful..._

I looked up and saw he was over by his white pickup truck that was older than I dared to think. There was rust around the doors, hood and trunk. I thought it was about time he got a new one. He wouldn't though. This truck was his baby. He'd never trade her in for a younger, more economic model. He picked up his silver ladder that was resting in the back of the truck and carried it up the yard. He was well built and more than capable of lifting it.

I sighed and looked down the street. The houses themselves were all two storey and wooden. Some were painted white and others pale green depending on their owners particular tastes.

No one was out which was strange for a warm September day. The kids were in school of course but there was always an old couple or a young mom walking up or down the quiet street. It was never _this_ quiet.

A few of the houses had their windows open and their curtains drawn apart but I didn't see any figures walking around inside them. But I guessed there was a sale on at the mall up in Pueblo or something. By now Robby had set up his ladder against the front of the house and was nearly at the roof.

He had climbed up and assessed the damage and yelled down his conclusions to me, "whoa, these things were really nailed down, looks like something ripped 'em off, something strong...you hear anythin' up here when they fell?"

I paused for a moment and wondered if I had imagined the scratching sounds and wondered if I should tell him about the text and other weird shit. I thought better of it, "I heard birds."

He scoffed loudly, "there's no way that any bird did this!"

"Big birds?" I asked hopefully and an image of that character from Sesame Street or whatever flashed in my mind.

"Naw, even they'd be too small to rip those tiles off," he told me honestly.

"Then what did?" I shook my head and sighed, "I'm gonna get some juice, you want some?"

"Yeah, sure," he was too busy working on the roof and I left him to it.

I walked to the kitchen and poured out two large glasses of orange juice and placed the carton back into the fridge so it wouldn't go off in the heat. I put a couple of ice cubes in each one and went back out onto the porch.

"It's down here!" I shouted up to him and sat back down.

"Aww, can't ya bring it up here?" he pleaded with a laugh knowing that there was very little chance that I was going to join him on the roof.

I sipped gently at my own, "nope, you have to work for it."

"You cruel woman," he told me sternly and I giggled silently to myself, "You don't think kids could've done this do?"

Then he must've seen something interesting, his voice drifted off and I heard very little movement up there.

"What is it?" I called up to him.

For a few moments I didn't get a reply.

"Rob?" I called again while walking out into the middle of the yard so I could get a good view of him. He was sprawled out on the roof and had his head in the hole. He was concentrating on something that I couldn't see.

I heard his voice but he didn't turn to look down at me, "you gotta flash light in the house?"

"Oh. Sure," I was confused but I still walked into the house and rummaged around in the toolbox that I kept under the sink. When my hand closed around the shaft of the light I pointed the bulb at my face and flicked it on and off a couple of times to check it worked. It blinded me for a few seconds then black dots danced in front of my eyes.

"Well that definitely works," I murmured to myself and made a mental note to not to that ever again unless I wanted to end up blind.

I heard a blood curdling scream and a crash at the front of the house. I couldn't see anything from where I was.

"What the...?" I stood up and realisation kicked in. Something had happened to Rob. He was hurt. I ran to the front door.

When I got there the scene before me was surreal, the ladder and everything was perfectly intact but it was Rob. He was...

"Oh god!"

I took a deep breath and looked again to make sure it had really happened. He was lying on his back in the middle of the overgrown grass, his legs were facing outwards at the joints, and his neck was bent in an awkward position. His caring and soulful brown eyes were now staring at me glazed over and all signs of life had left him. He'd fallen!

I felt the sobs starting to rise in my throat, "no, no, no! You stupid, stupid sonofabitch!"

I stood there for a moment longer then ran back into the house and grabbed the phone nearly ripping it off the wall because of the hurry and panic that I was in. I dialled 911 while tears were running freely down my face.

"Hello, do you require ambulance, fire-"

I cut the woman off, "An ambulance!"

"What seems to be the problem?" another woman said steadily, she was bored. I guessed there really weren't that many reasons for needing an ambulance in a town like this.

My voice started to break up, "my friend he. He's."

"Okay, just take your time," she tried to sooth me and I picked up on the real concern in her voice, "what's your name?"

"Roxanne Scavo and," I paused and took a deep breath, "it's my friend Robert Hollins. He was fixing my roof and fell!"

There was a shocked pause on the other end of the line, they rarely had any deaths in this area, "is he breathing?"

I shook my head and cried pathetically, "no, no, I don't think so. His neck's bent and twisted funny!"

They continued to talk to me as the ambulance and police arrived, the woman on the other end of the line kept me company as I waited.

"Are you okay?" she asked me as i heard the distant sirens getting closer and closer.

My voice was feeble, "yeah, I was in the house when it happened."

I sniffed and ran my hands through my dark chocolate coloured hair. That's when I saw it. There was a dark figure stood in the doorway that led outside.

"Well that's something then, I'm sure your friend is fine," the woman babbled on trying to make me feel better.

My own voice was caught in my throat. I wanted to scream. Oh hell, I wanted to scream until my throat was bleeding. The figure was male and in shadow. I couldn't make out any other details as he was facing me. He stayed where he was. His head was hung low and his coat was blowing about around him. When he raised it I saw he had brilliant blue eyes. I dropped the phone and held his gaze for a few moments. It hit the floor and made me blink. When I opened my eyes he was gone.

I gulped and clumsily knelt down and picked up the phone. It had been the same pair of eyes that I'd seen in the car. He was following me! But why was he following me? Was I going insane?

I had to be.

The woman's voice was getting more frantic, "Roxanne, Are you there? Roxanne?"

"Yeah, I'm here," I swallowed, "I'm here."

An ambulance pulled up out front with three marked police cars. All of their sirens were blaring out and it actually hurt my ears to be anywhere close to them. My eyes were no better with the blue flashing lights.

A kind looking police man ran into the house and found me. He was blonde haired and had light grey eyes. He had led me out onto the porch.

I sat down and couldn't take my eyes away from the two glasses of orange juice that were still sitting on the porch. The ice had barely melted in the sun since it had happened.

I gulped and listened to him and the words he was speaking, "so Robert Hollins fell?"

I nodded, "Yeah. He fell."

He was making notes on his little pad of paper, "you said he was fixing your roof, correct?"

"Yeah," I nodded again. It felt like I was in a trance and nothing around me was really real, "some kids or crows or something knocked the tiles off and I called him so he'd fix it. I shouldn't have called him."

I placed my head in my hands. Today really wasn't a good day, in fact it might even be the worst day of my entire life and that was saying something.

_-M-_

The police chief had come a little while later and I had to give him my official statement. Robby's body had been bagged up and had been taken off to the morgue or funeral home. I guessed that the medical examiner in the city would wanna take a look at him just to be sure because his death was a tad suspicious. His family had been told of his death and I stayed on that porch for the rest of the day.

I thought about his mother. The woman had been like my own Mom through most of my life. She was close to fifty but you wouldn't think it if you saw her. She was dark haired just like  
Robby had been and had honey coloured eyes that could never judge or scowl at anyone even if they were holding a gun to her forehead. She didn't deserve to lose her son.

Then his sisters came to my mind. There had been three of them all younger than their brother. Sarah was the smart one who had gone to medical school on a scholarship and was currently cramming for her major. I wondered if the school would allow her to do it another time.

Then there had been Karolyn who was the pretty one. She could pass as Marilyn Monroe. She had won a couple of beauty competitions in her time and was now working as a beautician in the local salon.

That left Jennifer although she hadn't done brilliantly in school and wasn't as beautiful as her sister, she had determination and was very stubborn**. **She was still travelling around the states with a couple close friends. I wondered when she'd get the call.

I gulped again and rubbed my tired eyes. A couple of the neighbours came and sat with me for a while and others brought cake or stew or leftovers. I told them to just leave the food on the table in the kitchen. The police and ambulance service were still hanging around.

At one point the kind officer came and sat with me in the afternoon sun, "you got anyone I can call?"

I shook my head, "no, I can look after myself but thank you."

I watched the crowd gather and the police do their work. A few of them even went up the ladder to see how easily he would've fallen.


	4. Crazy Thoughts

_**Chapter Four- Crazy Thoughts**_

_A/N- Enjoy!_

After a while the cops, medics, neighbours and even the damn neighbour's stupid cat had left me alone and I couldn't thank God enough that they had. I didn't know how many more questions I could answer or how many casseroles, cakes and friendly hugs that I could accept. My tears had run dry for the time being and my eyes were sore from the constant water works. The cops had ruled it being an accident from the start and said he must've tripped but Robby had never tripped. He was too smart to trip when he was his way down to the Wal-Mart let alone on a job up on a roof.

I wondered what he had seen and looked up at the ladder but thought better of it. I would've fallen before I even got half way up and it was getting dark. I wouldn't be able to see anything. What got me though was that the cops who had gone up there hadn't seen anything strange unlike Robby and he had died. Was there some connection?

I hoped not.

Then I remembered my Uncle Jay back at the diner. He was gonna be pissed with me for not coming back with the ketchup or even calling him. He still had no idea what had happened. I picked myself up from my silent sentinel position on the darkening porch and made my way inside. On my way to the phone I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and realised just how bad I looked. No wonder people felt pity for me. My hair was falling out of its bun from where I had been clawing at it in despair, my makeup had run and now left trails down my cheeks and my eyes seemed to have sunk back into my skull. I looked like crap.

"Aren't I a catch?" I commented half heartedly and picked up the receiver and dialled a number for the third time that day.

I called the diner first and it just kept ringing and ringing so I finally gave up. Even the answering machine had been turned off which was very odd. I cast a glance over to the clock and realised that it closed at five. It was nearly eight. No wonder he hadn't been answering! The place was probably all shut up but then again where was Jay?

I called his cell. But there was still no answer. I sent him a text message with my own cell.

'_Hey, where are you? I need to talk x'_

I sighed as I snapped it shut and grabbed my keys from the kitchen table where I had thrown them earlier. I knew I was in no fit state to drive but I wasn't in a fit state to just sit around either. I just couldn't stay in the house alone. Not with everything that had happened today. I was starting to think strange things. Those people watching me, the scratching, the tiles and the death maybe they were connected? Maybe someone was out to get me, not that I had any enemies? Maybe I was just all nine types of crazy?

I hoped that I was all nine types of crazy, at least then my fear could be cured with pills and a padded room along with a straight jacket. I walked down to my car in the dark carefully avoiding the place where he had fallen and drove off to the diner.

_-M-_

On the way there I turned the radio on to try and calm my nerves. I was hoping something by Bon Jovi would play and give me something to sing along to but no there was just a stupid news reel telling me about what had happened during the day. They mentioned Robby and I was nearly sick. Then just to make everything better I started to lose the station. The signal was wavering in and out, the signals were crossed I knew it. It flickered between stations and I caught part of conversations.

"Don't go in there," one said before the static took over.

"Dangerous," said another.

"Run," a third one said.

It sounded like the same guy but on three different stations. They must be having some problem with the aerials or satellites. I didn't care. I was only moments away from finding Uncle Jay and pouring my heart out over some Ben and Jerry's ice cream or maybe some Häagen-Dazs. I pulled onto the sidewalk not bothering to line the car up right. It was nine o'clock at night and pitch black. Honestly, who gave a damn that my car was parked wonky?

As I locked the car I looked around and felt my eyebrows meet as I saw the same dark blue car in the parking lot. This time the two owners were nowhere in sight. Not that I cared at the moment. There was probably a rational explanation like they were in the motel down the street or something.

That's when I saw _him_. I caught my breath. On the other side of the road a man was stood there watching me. He was stood tall with his back straight. The street lamp he was stood under acted like a halo bathing him in gentle golden light. He was dressed in a beige trench coat and suit. I couldn't see his eye colour from this distance but his hair was tussled and fell messily to one side giving him a confused and wondering aura. He was watching me, his face was mostly in shadow but he matched the silhouette I had seen back at the house. I gaped open mouthed at him for a few more moments. Neither of us dared to moved. My eyes started to water so I blinked briefly and when I opened them he was gone. I looked up and down the street and there was nothing. There was no sign of anyone. I looked back to the area he had been. The light from the streetlamp fell down and hit the pavement without any interruption. It was like he had never even been there.

My breathing slowly returned to normal and I resigned that I really was going insane. I was seeing random guys in the middle of the street along with everything else. Maybe it was post-traumatic stress or something?

I walked over to the trunk and took out the crate of ketchup bottles. I made my way to the front door of the diner in the light provided by the scattered street lamps. I noticed that the sign had been changed from 'open' to 'closed'. I pushed on the door handle expecting to be met with resistance but I wasn't. It swung out before me almost inviting me into the dark diner. Something wasn't quite right. But I couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe it was the fact that it was open and it was dark inside?

So I stepped into the diner and closed the door behind me. I put the crate on a table nearby and looked around. From what I could tell it had been cleaned and tidied but there was no sign of Jay.

I called out, "Uncle Jay? Jay, are you here?"

When I got no reply I walked around to the other side of the counter and my foot hit something solid. It wasn't a table or chair leg. I looked down and was met with the cold stare of a pair of brown eyes. My breathing started to get ragged. It just couldn't be possible. How had this happened? I was dreaming I had to be. All of this was a dream. It just couldn't be real.

"Jay?" my tears started to fall as I noticed the thin red ribbon of blood across his neck. I backed up away from his body, "oh my God."

Tears began to fall from my eyes again and I felt someone behind me and felt the coolness of the blade at my throat.

It was a woman's voice that I heard. It was silky and reminded me of a serpent, "There there, there's no need to struggle. No one's going to hurt you, not yet anyway."

She cackled and cooed at me. Someone else joined in with the laughter not too far away. A man who approached me from the side and I almost screamed when I saw him. From a distance he looked normal. His brown hair fell on to his face shadowing his blue eyes that suddenly became black. Then his face changed. It wasn't his! It was a gray twisting and withering mass instead of the human face I had seen only moments before. The piercing black eyes were the scariest I'd ever seen. No way was he human! I wasn't mad. I wasn't crazy. These things were happening and they weren't normal!

I began to whimper in the woman's arms, "Oh hush, hush baby. You're safe."

I sensed the cruel smile that had formed around her mouth and her friend spoke, "Casey, can't I even just...?"

He looked at me and started to reach out towards me. I twisted in an attempt to get away from the clawed hand.

"No," she barked at him then her voice returned to the bitter sweet sickly tone, "You know what Alistair said. No one is to harm her until he gets her."

"I wasn't talking about harming her. She might even like it," he gave a confident grin and continued to stare at me, "I like misfits."

"Go to hell," I shouted suddenly through my tears. I didn't know how I had the balls or stupidity to speak. Maybe I just didn't give a damn anymore. The two people that I loved were dead. What else mattered?

The woman twisted me around to her face and she was just as horrible as his, "I just got out honey."

I saw her lick her lips. She was meant to be pretty, her blonde hair fell down past her shoulders, her face perfectly sculpted, her smile meaning to be kind. But it wasn't. I saw the curling yellowing teeth beyond the white human ones and the horrible menace in her pit-hole eyes.

I closed my eyes shut hoping that they just killed me there and then. I wished that they would just do it and pull the knife across my throat. I'd bleed out in less than two minutes then it would all be over.

"Do me a favour Gregory," I could hear the temptation in her voice, "Tell them we'll be a little late."

I tried to think of happy things. I tried to think of the things that I could live for. Anything that would give me the drive to try and attack or run or something but there was nothing. Inside my skull there was nothing but a deep sense of defeat. There was no way that I was going to make it out of this alive. I gulped and prayed that it would be quick.

"But," he started jealously, "but."

Then the tone changed. For the first time there was a hint of fear in his voice.

"Just do it," her voice changed from the light sweet one to a dark brooding deadly one. It was an order that wasn't going to be disobeyed.

I felt her breath on my face and I tried to turned away but her hand jerked my face back. I felt her cool hand securing my jaw in place and I didn't want to live through anymore of it. I was going to die anyway. I started to wonder if they would be merciful. I doubted it.

"Not so fast," she whispered sweetly into my ear.

Then I heard a new voice. It was another woman, "Hello."

Her voice was cocky and arrogant. I supposed that she wasn't happy about the situation that was happening before her.

"Ruby," she scowled and I felt her take a step back from me. She still kept her still tight grip on me though. There was no way that I was going to get out of it anytime soon. She was too strong. She twisted me around so I was once again facing away from her with the silver knife at my throat. I felt it pressing against my artery and I started to find it hard to breath. I was now a hostage.

I opened my eyes and found that the guy had gone. At least that was one less person to worry about but who the hell was this Alistair that they had mentioned? And who was this Ruby for that matter?

"Oh and who's this? Some puppy you have wrapped around your finger or your precious little apprentice?" she cackled laughing at the two figures still in the shadows.

"No," a man stepped forward. He was tall and I recognised it as the guy from earlier, "I'm the person who's gonna send you back to hell!"

"Aww, isn't that cute!" she mocked and flew her head back in laughter, "Gotta catch me first though."

I felt her grip on my arms release for a second and I took the chance of an advantage. I elbowed her in the stomach before turning and running for the door before she could stop me. I heard the cries of the other man and woman wanting me to stop but I didn't listen and I fiddled with my keys as I ran to my car. I guessed that if she was strong then she could run fast. I didn't know how long I could stay in front if she was following me. As soon as I reached the door I unlocked it and climbed in. I saw the tall guy run out of the diner and start towards my car just as I turned the key in the ignition and floored the accelerator. I sped off wheel spinning and leaving tyre trials behind me and headed out of town.

The guy waved his arms after me and I heard his shouts, "wait come back! It's not safe!"

_Yeah you're right_, I thought, _it's not safe. Especially with you guys!_

I started to cry again, the tears blurring my vision so much that I thought I was going to crash. I pushed what had happened to the back of my mind. I temporarily erased the image of Jay's dead eyes staring longingly up at me, blocked out the voices and words of the two freaks and crushed the notion that I was crazy. The tears stopped and I kept on driving.


	5. White Eyes

_**Chapter Five- White Eyes**_

_A/N- Thanks to everyone who's reading this! Enjoy!_

I don't know how long I ended up driving for. I just kept my foot on the accelerator and braked when I needed to. I drove straight outta dodge and went for the freeway. It was quiet and I was allowed to go as fast as I wanted. There were no cops or speed cameras along this stretch this late at night. After what I supposed must've been a few hours it finally became too much and I pulled over in a lay-by. Tears began to fall freely again.

"Stupid fucking bitch," I hit my head against the top of the wheel and cried until my tears had run dry.

I wiped my nose with the sleeve of my shirt and sat back in the seat. Looking through the windscreen I saw that it was raining heavily and without the wipers being on it was impossible to see out of that or any of the other windows.

"Oh God," I ran my hands through my hair desperately, "why me? I mean come on. I'm _nothing_ special. Why the hell am I the unlucky ass? Why couldn't all this shit happen to someone else? Why _me_?"

When I'd finished my rant at God and the Heavens the radio switched itself on. I reached over and turned it off. I was not in the mood for any stupid party tricks. But it switched itself back on. Static confusion filled my car.

"I guess I'm just the person that the universe craps on," I resigned and just let it play.

After a while the static disappeared and there were just a lot of voices talking over one and other. None of them were distinguishable then they faded out leaving one.

The voice was male and urgent, "please, I urge you to keep driving. Lock your door, it is not safe. You must keep driving."

I locked my doors seeing as there was a sensible reason for that. After everything that had happened today it was best to try and be safe.

He carried on, "You are special, and you were attacked by demons that are still after you. I cannot reach you at the moment so you must drive before he gets to you and-"

The voice ended abruptly and the static returned. I laughed hysterically at myself. Even the guy in the freaking radio couldn't help me! And demons, they were just stories people told in Sunday School, right? They were only real in movies like the _Exorcist_ or _Constantine._ They weren't actually real!

In between the hysterical giggles I managed to get a few words out, "so I'm in some sicko's fantasy then?"

After the outburst subsided I leaned back in my seat and looked out of the windscreen again. Nothing was visible to me and there were no breaks of lightness in the dark from headlights zooming past. I was all alone in this nightmare.

I sighed and then reality started to return to me. I turned the key in the ignition and waited for it to kick into touch. I saw a shadow out of the corner of my eye crawling along my side of the car. At first I thought it was just a car going past or something. Suddenly the window to my left smashed and a bloody hand reached in and grabbed wildly for something to hold on too. Within half a second it had found my left arm and was trying to pull me out of the car. It was yanking on my arm trying to pull me through the broken window. I heard a loud pop andscreamed out in agony. The bastard had dislocated my shoulder. The pain was almost blinding.

"Get off of me!" I screamed tossing and turning as I tried to free myself. The more I moved the more the guy pulled and the more pain was sent shooting through my arm and shoulder. The guy was stronger than me but I was going to give him one hell of a fight so I gritted my teeth and got on with it. When I realised there was no way he was going to let go I slammed my foot down on the accelerator and released the clutch. The car sped away down the freeway and reached sixty in just under seven seconds. It was a desperate manoeuvre that could have killed me but I was in a desperate situation.

He was still holding on to me so I turned sharply and felt the grip loosen but it also meant getting stabbed in my side by tiny shards of glass and sent a new pain through my arm. But I had to get him off. I had to. I had to swerve three times before I felt the weight of the extra person on the side of the car disappear. I didn't stop and look back as the wind and rain came lashing in on my face from the broken window. The shards of glass were scattered everywhere, in my hair, on my clothes and all over the car. I had to be careful where I moved in case I accidently stabbed myself with a large piece. As far as I could tell I was unnerved with a dislocated shoulder but not bleeding. I eyed the radio warily and thought it might be best to listen to the voice for a little while. It hadn't harmed me after all.

Almost as if he could read my thoughts the radio switched on and began talking again, "drive until you find a motel then you will wait in your room until we can reach you."

"And what if they show up again, huh? What the hell am I meant to do, wait for your freaking angels to show up, Charlie?" I remarked wondering just how unreal this situation was going to get.

The voice didn't reply instantly and I felt that he was thinking of the best possible way to reply or just trying to decode the reference.

Finally he said just two words, "Have faith."

"Have faith?" I said loudly, Faith! Was this guy fucking nuts? Faith in what exactly, that the creep who tried to pull me outta the car won't actually find me or that faith in the fact that two of the most important people in my life were dead and that maybe the sickos want me too? Or hell maybe that I was going to die!

I kept on driving but slowed down to a more acceptable speed of fifty miles per hour and headed to the state border, no way was I heading back to town or to any of the motels that I'd found on my way here.

_-M-_

It wasn't long before I came across a motel. It was called the 'Spotted Cougar'. I had no idea if I was actually in cougar country or not. I had only just realised that I was in Kansas. No, this wasn't cougar country, was it?

I sighed and pulled into the parking lot. The vacancy sign was lit up in blue neon and the parking lot was virtually empty apart from a Fiat, a Hyundai and an old Ford. I parked as far away from them as possible without looking suspicious and took great care to make sure that the broken window was facing away from the lit up area. That would definitely attract the attention of the cops. I got out of the car warily and brushed myself down. I looked down and saw tiny splodges of what could only have been blood on my sleeve and painfully clutched to my waist with my injured arm. Apart from that I was pretty much clean and I reached in and grabbed my purse before locking up and walking to the reception.

I was skittish as hell and thought that every noise was him. A part of me was just waiting for that bloodied arm to come and grab me and take me away. I calmed myself as I pushed open the glass and metal door and walked into a warm and kind atmosphere. The walls were painted in a warm peach and the desk and chairs were in a comforting oak.

I steadily approached the counter and threw a glance back outside wondering if there was a pair of devilish eyes watching me. My breath caught as I saw another car pull into the parking lot. It was one of those old Chevrolet models from what I could tell. I had never been into those muscle cars. They slowed as they passed the reception and they must have noticed me staring. I gulped and wondered who was driving it. The man and woman who'd wanted to take me to Alistair? That Ruby and the guy or maybe the owner of the arm? Whatever the case I didn't want to run into any of them ever again!

"Hey," a light voice startled me.

I turned round and the woman's expression changed from one of mild curiosity to a deep concern. She was a little older than me and had a gold band on her wedding finger. She was pretty and had a small bump for a tummy. She was pregnant and working the crappiest shift ever.

My breathing became rhythmic again.

"Hey," I answered her and threw one last glance at the passing car. The drivers had stopped looking and had gone into the parking lot proper.

"How can I help you?" she asked as she looked me up and down. Her eyes lingered a little longer on my arm than I'd have liked. I could tell what was going through her mind.

_Oh God, who did that? Shall I call the cops? Was she attacked? Was it domestic?_

"Just a room please," I told her kindly.

"How long for?" she asked me while logging onto a computer. It was old and white. She was updating the rooms by the looks of it.

I shrugged momentarily forgetting about my arm. I winced at the pain and remembered that the voice hadn't said how long he'd be, "Oh...how about we take it a day at a time?"

"Sure, single?" she looked at me curious green eyes.

I nodded, "yeah."

"That'll be twenty two dollars please," she told me and I reached for my credit card but thought better of it and handed her the money in cash instead. If these guys were good enough to tail me when I was driving at high speeds, kill two people and try to attack me then they were good enough to track a credit card trail.

While she got the keys out from under the desk I could tell what she wanted to ask. She did when she handed them over to me, "room fifteen. It's at the end of the row. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I replied, she knew I was lying. The blood, tear stains and worn out and fearful expression on my face said it all and of course there was my arm.

She nodded nonetheless and allowed me to leave the room. She watched me go though probably making sure that I was able to make it to my room.

I walked down the well lit walkway just next to the entrances to the rooms and on my way I passed the Chevy which was parked outside room number six. I noticed the blind twitch as I walked past it to my own room. My breath caught and I saw a green eye peering curiously at me. I shook my head and carried on, my footsteps rushing as I tried to reach my room before that door could open.

The door to the room was wooden and wouldn't stop much. The number fifteen was staring at me. The paint was flaking and I sighed hopelessly. I turned the key in the lock and entered the room. I closed it quickly behind me and took in every detail of the room. There was a single bed with poor blue bed sheets in the middle of the far wall. There was a table with two chairs close by.The window was facing onto the front. The room itself was decorated in a purple and pink theme that made me feel nauseous when I stared at it too closely.

I leaned backwards against the door and sank down on to the pink carpet and came up with a short plan. First I was going to clean myself up, thenI was going to sort my clothes out and then I was going to get something to eat and somehow get my arm fixed. Hopefully I could do all of that without the owner of the arm finding me. After that I promised myself that I was going to come up with something more permanent and wait it out. I might even get a gun to help protect myself.

_-M-_

An hour later at two a.m. I was washed and cleaned of my earlier ordeal. I'd taken a shower and it had been painful but do-able. I bound up my wet hair in a scrunchy that I found in the back of my pants and set to work on my clothes.I was stood in my jeans and bra and looking at the sleeve of my shirt. The specks of blood were large enough to be noticeable. I couldn't walk around with blood on my shirt. I was meant to be laying low so I got a pair of nail scissors from the bathroom and cut the sleeves short and with thread from the curtsy sewing kit I made it look like it had been bought that way. I made a sling for my arm out of a towel. I was so glad I had paid attention when I was taught to fix clothes.

My stomach growled loudly as it reminded that I hadn't eaten in over twelve hours. To be honest I didn't think anywhere would be open but I remembered seeing a vending machine near the reception. That would do me until the morning when I could go out and grab something proper to eat. I left the room and walked across to where it was. Pulling a handful of change out of my pants I bought several chocolate bars along with a bottle of water. I picked them up from the tray at the bottom and turned around to see the two guys from earlier staring at me.

I held my breath and watched both of them, "you!"

It was all I could manage to get out. They were looking at me with worried expressions. Luckily the woman wasn't there. I began to wonder where she was hiding.

The shorter guy stepped forward with his hands in front of him displaying that he didn't have a weapon and that I shouldn't be scare of him, "don't worry. We're not going to hurt you and you need help. Someone needs to fix your arm."

I stared at him in disbelief and shook my head. I pushed past them so I could get to my own room, "just leave me alone, okay."

"Wait," they called after me and I heard their footsteps follow me, "we know what happened. It wasn't your fault. None of it was."

"How do you know?" I said with a glance as I opened the door and swung it shut behind me.

A fist rapped on the door, "We're here to help!"

"Just leave me alone," I said again.

"You're in danger!" it was the younger guy.

I didn't reply. Was that a threat?

"Castiel sent us," the other told me.

"Castiel?" I mouthed silently and backed away from the door. The name had actually sent shivers through me. Was that who Charlie had been or the guy I kept seeing or maybe he was the owner of the arm?

"We're not demons!" they said.

"You're crazy!" I shouted at them then more quietly to myself, "There is no such thing!"

"Oh yes there is," a nasal voice behind me said.

I turned around and saw a tall man stood there in a suit. He was smiling wickedly and had folded his arms behind his back as he watched me.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked and I sensed the alarm from the other side of the door.

They started banging heavily on the door and I was surprised at how well the door stood up against the efforts of two young fit men when it should have fallen to bits.

The strange man laughed, "Alistair. And trust me all this is as real as your little scar."

"What?" I gasped.

How did he know about the scar on the inside of my hip? I had always kept it covered and I never spoke about it to anyone.

"Stop playing dumb you know exactly what I'm talking about," he stepped out from the shadow and light was on his face for the first time.

I screamed when I saw it. His face was like the others. It was grey and contorted, "Get away from me!"

He shook his head while smirking and I ran back to the door but it was stuck. I pulled with all my strength on the handle but it was no use. Then I was suddenly thrown up against the wall and everything went black. The last thing I saw was that deformed face with white eyes smiling down at me.


	6. Scar

_**Chapter Six- Scar**_

_A/N- Here you go! I hope you all enjoy this one!_

I woke up with the worst head ache imaginable. I kept my eyes closed and for a second I thought that I was just hung over. Then remembered what had happened.

The memories flashed in my minds eyes at break neck speed. There was a guy with the white eyes named Alistair, my arm being dislocated, those two guys trying to help me and the name Castiel. Then the images of the two dead bodies attacked me and so did those smirking grey faces.

I kept hoping it had all been a very vivid and realistic nightmare. I hoped it had all been a bad dream. I hoped that Robby and Uncle Jay were still alive and I'd just been knocked out by the heat before Robby had even arrived at the house. Water dripped on my forehead causing me to involuntarily open my eyes. The illusion that I had been dreaming disappeared in an instant.

I blinked a few times to clear my eyes of the drowsiness and the droplet of water ran down my cheek. I was staring up at the ceiling of a warehouse. Industrial lights were hanging down and blinding me making little black dots dance like the flashlight had. The water dropped again and I realised that there was a leaky pipe somewhere above me. I also noticed that something was on top of my mouth. I figured that it was a leather gag.

I tried to stretch my arms and legs trying to relieve that freakin' ache in my arm but I couldn't. I could only twist my limbs so far, my hands and feet were free though. I wiggled my toes to make sure that I could still feel them. I tried harder to raise and move my arms and that's when the ache became a sharp searing pain in my shoulder. I cried out in pain and my muscles flexed. Another sharp pain bit into my wrists and ankles. I turned my head and saw that I had been strapped down to a table. The bounds on my wrists seemed to be leather with metal spikes sticking into my flesh. My shoulder was still dislocated.

I lifted my head to look at my ankles and feet even though I suspected that it was the same deal down there. I couldn't lift my head no more than an inch off of the table though and I felt tiny barbs around my neck. I rested my head before the metal could penetrate the skin. Before I had though I had noticed that I was naked with only another leather binding strapped across my breasts. There were also metal spikes in that. There was no way I was going to move or try to free myself. I didn't have a medical degree but I knew enough to know that the spikes surrounding my wrists could reach the major artery and I'd die in less than ten minutes. I guessed that there wasn't a hospital around here so I would die.

I sighed. Whoever this Alistair was, he meant business. And that business was bad for me.

_-M-_

There were no windows or doors that I could see in this warehouse so I couldn't estimate how much time had passed. I had just laid there unable to move and unable to fight. These people were monsters. I managed to stay awake afraid of what would happen if I fell asleep. Thirst and hunger slowly took over my body. My mouth dried up quickly and headaches wouldn't leave me alone. That small drip of water seemed to taunt me whenever it landed on my face and failed to dribble under the gag and into my mouth. My stomach shrunk and after a while the growling and grumbling had stopped. I knew at that moment I was going to die. I just hoped that Alistair wouldn't come before I did. For the first time since I first woke up in this place my eyelids drooped and I fell asleep.

I didn't dream. I didn't have nightmares. I just wasted away in unconsciousness, praying that it wouldn't be much longer. I just prayed that everything would go black.

_-M-_

"Oh, Roxannnnnnne! It's time to wake up and," I heard distantly. There was a short laugh, "face the music."

My eyes fluttered open and I saw a man staring down at me. He was in a white shirt and smart suit pants. He was also wearing a dirty apron just like butchers wore. I couldn't see properly but I could have sworn that there were red marks covering it.

"There's a good girl," he smiled, "this is no fun when you're not awake."

My senses came to me almost immediately after that. The voice was nasal and this man had grey hair and menacing eyes. This was the guy from the hotel room. My eyes opened wide and I saw that there were yellow, curved, jagged teeth in his grinning mouth. His skin was grey and twisting in an unnatural way and his eye. His eyes were like dull white pits.

A scream came from my throat and I tried to move. I tried to get away. I ignored the pain in my wrists, neck and breasts. I felt warm blood seeping from the wounds as I struggled.

He tutted and shook his head, "now you better stop that. You're doing more damage to yourself than I have."

My breathing came quicker but I stopped moving with the realisation that I was doing myself damage. My eyes darted around the room looking for anyone or anything that might be able to help me. There was nothing. This was just a large empty warehouse.

"That's much better," he smiled down at me and turned away.

I noticed a table behind him full of various knives, pokers and other implements of torture. He moved his hands above them deciding which one to use first.

"Hmm," he turned back to me with a large cleaver in his left hand. He was stroking the blade like it was a lover. He considered for a few moments, "shall we start with this one? No. No we don't want you to bleed out too quickly now, do we?"

The quicker the better, I thought dryly.

Now he had picked up a small, sharp pointed blade with a wooden handle, "an oyster knife. Specifically called a Frenchman, designed for cracking open the difficult creatures. Maybe we can crack you open with it? I'd love to know what you've got in your pretty skull.

He smiled at me again. The dangerous intent was clear. He advanced on me with the knife and I started to struggle and whimper again. I was going to stabbed or cut or God knows what!

"Now, shush. Shush," he peered down at me and traced a line down the side of my face to the space between my breasts, "it'll be much easier on you if you don't struggle."

He placed a clawed hand on my forehead and drew back the knife. I screwed my eyes shut not wanting to see where he was going to thrust it. A few seconds later I felt a red hot pain in my injured shoulder just below the joint. He really knew where to put the pressure. A howl tried to escape from my throat but it was stopped by the gag.

_You bastard! You fucked up sadistic bastard!_

The knife was still in the wound and he pushed it in a little deeper twisting around and around. My eyes started to roll into the back of my head. The pain was excruciating.

Suddenly, it was removed and the pain slowly ebbed away replaced by a throbbing ache as my blood poured out onto the floor.

"Now, my dear," he walked down the length of the table and stopped at my hips. He touched the area surrounding my scar with his finger, "care to tell me how you got this unusual little thing?"

I glared over at him. This guy was fucking hilarious. A true goddamn comedian.

"Of course not. You can't talk," he chuckled to himself, "well. I must say it is an astonishing little thing, isn't it?"

He plunged the knife under my skin. I felt the blade move around and I groaned each time a new wave of pain hit me. He was trying to remove the scar.

"It's shaped into a pair of wings. An angel's wings," he mused to himself, "completely unnatural."

My head rolled to one side. I could feel myself about to pass out from the pain. I felt him give up with the knife and he left it alone for the time being.

He paused for a moment, "I don't think you realise just how special you are. Azazal chose you for a reason. It's a shame about the complications though. Those winged do-gooders just couldn't keep their holy noses out."

The knife was stabbed into my thigh and I screamed again.

"He just didn't anticipate them. No forward planning there," he came back and leaned into my ear and removed my gag, "but Lilith did. Now don't go screaming for help. They might just hear you."

I listened to him. I took in a huge breath and my head relaxed on the table.

"Good girl," he praised, "now let's see if you know anything."

_-M-_

The knife crisscrossed my skin causing shallow and deep wounds depending on how much pressure he put on it. The pressure he applied to my flesh was the same as the pressure he applied to my mind.

"Who's watching you?" he asked me for the third time in a row. His voice was a growl.

I shook my head sobbing in pain, "I don't know."

He walked around me getting impatient, "Roxanne, do not lie to me!"

"It's Rox," I smiled dizzily finally going insane at the entire situation. I didn't answer his question.

He pealed away a slice of skin belonging to my stomach, "tell me who is watching you!"

I turned away biting down on my lip to stop the howl. Blood gathered in my mouth and I spat it out onto the floor knowing that it would make me throw up if I tasted it.

His fist hit my face in one smooth motion breaking my nose, "tell me!"

I screamed up at him, "I don't know you fucking sonofabitch!"

"Oh." he seemed impressed by the strength of my voice, "fine. Let's apply the pressure somewhere else. You know what happened to your little Robby? And all those little scars of his?"

I glared at him. I could feel the blood running down my nose and into my mouth. He was very close to a sensitive issue and he knew it. Anger and grief started to well up inside me.

"We did that. His accident?" he leered, "that was us too."

"Go straight to hell," I spat up at him. Blood speckled his face and he wiped it away with the back of his hand.

He walked away and got a bigger knife, "oh don't worry. I'll be going back soon enough and he'll be the first one I torture."

"You're lying." I told him refusing to believe that he could have gone to hell, "He's not in hell!"

He snickered, "oh yes he is along with the rest of your family. Your Mommy," he cut at me again, "your Daddy, your Uncle Jay."

The knife was pushed straight into my stomach and I screamed and withered in pain. If I had been able to I would have cried but I was too dehydrated.

"He begged for his life you know," he whispered, "and when he was told you'd be next he screamed and cried until we put him out of his misery."

"You're lying," I said again trying to convince myself as much as him, "they were good people!"

He shrugged, "good people make bad choices. Have you ever heard that the road to hell is paved with good intentions?"

"Bullshit," I told him.

The pain started to overwhelm me again. That coupled with the lack of food or water was sending me in and out of consciousness. I was just barely registering that I was being cut, stabbed and bled.

_-M-_

A little while later I heard him talking again. This brought me out of my stupor for a little while. I began to pray.

_Oh please God, just make it stop. Don't let anything that he says be right, please._

"I have a new toy to test," Alistair was telling me and he lifted up an iron poker. The end was glowing red.

_Oh God. No._

My throat was too dry to speak or cry out anymore. It had even bled with the amount of screaming I had done.

"I thought you should be the first," he said proudly and pressed it against a bloodied area of skin on my right arm. He held it there for what felt like a long time. He was branding me. My eyes rolled back and he finally removed the poker.

I saw that he had branded me with a swirling design that extended out into three directions.

"There," he admired his work like a senior craftsman, "a perfect impression. You can't run away now. We'll always know where you are."

_So me being strapped down to a table with leather bindings with metal points isn't enough? What the hell are you going to do next? Make me run and then you hunt me or something? Just kill me now…_

I managed to groan.

"Lilith should be arriving any minute," he commented.

My mouth was open and I was staring at a part of the wall. Metal sheets were being propped up by several poles. This was the place I was going to die. It was a dark, desolate, in-the-middle-of-no-where God forsaken warehouse. And no one even knew I was here. Not that anyone would miss me. There was no one left to miss me.

"Alistair," there was a low grumbling voice. The voice was male. That was all I could make out. I didn't know if I was hallucinating or not.

"You," he didn't sound impressed.

Then it happened. Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light that filled the room. It was a brilliant, pure white light. It surrounded everything and I couldn't see anything else for a moment. I heard Alistair screaming and then everything was back to how it was only without him. His evil presence had just disappeared into thin air.

I was breathing fast not daring to look around. I felt strong hands undoing my bindings.

The voice next to my ear was soothing, "Be strong. Have faith."

_You. It's you!_

I was then lifted up from the table and blacked out. I was completely unaware for the first time in days. It was heaven.


	7. Am I Dreaming?

_**Chapter Seven- Am I Dreaming?**_

_A/N- Enjoy! _

The problem was that even though I was unconscious and oblivious to the pain I still dreamt. At least I guessed that they were dreams. Actually they were more nightmares than dreams or memories almost. I had no way of breaking free from them. I was at their mercy as they ravaged me in the only chance of a peaceful sleep that I had.

I was back in the house and I was youngprobably only seven or eight years old at most. I was dressed in my usual jeans and t-shirt combination. My sneakers were muddy and I had been outside playing in the garden.

Now I was sat in the living room waiting for my Uncle Jay to get back. I had been talking with a friend, Sarah Michigan, she was new at school and had asked me why I lived with my Uncle and not my parents. To be honest I had no idea. Only that my parents had died when I was a baby and Jay had taken me in. We had never spoken about it.

I heard the front door bang shut. It was dark outside and he had been shutting up the diner. I stood up running to meet him in the hall with my pigtails flying behind me.

His hair was near black and he was so much taller than me it was nearly unreal, "Hey kiddo."

I folded my arms across my chest, "What happened to Mom and Dad?"

"What?" he smiled down at me bewildered, he put his coat on the stand.

"What happened to them?" I repeated determined that he would answer me. Tears were starting to collect in my eyes.

He knelt down and cupped my hands in his own, "Roxy, what's brought all this on?"

"Don't call me that!" I howled at him wriggling out of his grip, "What happened to them!"

His face changed. He became somber and sad.

"You've never asked before," he said quietly.

"I'm allowed to know, aren't I? I don't need a goddamn reason to ask! They were my parents!" I shouted at him, my small voice sounding louder than it should. This was the first time I had cussed at him.

He hugged me tight, "calm down, I just wanna know you're okay."

"I'm fine!" I struggled, "just tell me!"

He held firm, "your Mom, my sister, they say she was in the nursery. There was a fire somethin' about the electrics being screwed. Your Dad was downstairs. They both died in the fire. They have no idea how you got out. They found you in the brush outside."

"Why was I outside?" I whispered becoming scared at the thought of how my parents had died.

"Because," He pulled away from me so he could look me fully in the eyes. His hands still clasped tight around my arms. His eyes turned yellow, a pale yellow, "It's all your fault missy!"

I screamed and tried to run away from him.

"It's all your fault kid!" he shouted and I managed to get free. I ran up to my room and I heard him calling after me, "it was all your fault Roxanne!"

I slammed my bedroom door after me and cried in my bed. On my desk there was a photograph of my Mom and Dad outside the old house. They were happy. It was my fault they were dead.

_-M-_

I was sat on the bed in one of my friend's houses. Robby was next to me and we were laughing and joking about how one of the quarter backs at Charleston High had failed to win the big game. I sighed happily and looked into the huge mirror that Anastasia had hanging in her room. My hair was long and styled. My seventeen year old self had decided to wear a nice dress and heels to the party. To 'impress' Robby as a few of my friends had said.

"So," Robby started, "how's Jay?"

I shrugged, "he's good I guess. I'm going to get a drink."

"I'll come with ya," he stood up with me, "that mirror creeps me out."

I giggled, "You're a wuss you know that, right?"

He nodded, "only 'round you."

By this time I had opened the door and I smiled at him before walking out in the landing. I saw Anastasia dancing on the top of the stairs to a hit Metallica song. I think it was called_ Until It Sleeps. _It was loud and nearly impossible to hear the person next to you. Her blonde hair was being thrown around her as her head moved in beat to the music.

"Hey Ana!" I shouted at the top of my voice.

_So Tear Me Open And Pour Me out!_

_There's Things Inside That Scream And Shout_

She turned and grinned at me, "I love this song!"

"I kinda need to get downstairs, I want a drink!" I told her.

"Oh that's okay!" she told me and started off down the stairs, "I'm the hostess! I'll get it!"

"Thanks!" I called after her as she wandered down the stairs still dancing. I didn't know what exactly happened then. She just fell. She must've tripped on something.

_Just Like A Curse, Just Like A Stray_

_You Feed It Once And Now It Stays_

_Now It stays_

"Oh my god!" I gasped and ran down to meet her at the bottom, "Ana? Ana! You okay?"

_And The Dirt Still Stains Me_

There was blood seeping out from her ear. Her head was face down and I rolled her over. Her eyes stared up lifelessly for a moment. Then they focused and became yellow.

"It's all your fault Roxanne, you can't get away from your destiny," she told me only it wasn't her. It was her mouth moving and but it wasn't her voice. It was too dark to be hers.

_So Tell Me Why You've Chosen Me_

_Don't Want Your Grip_

_Don't Want Your Greed_

_Don't Want It_

I gasped and pulled away. Tears fell freely from my eyes.

_-M-_

I fumbled with the diamond ring on my left hand. I twisted around and around as the best man practiced his speech.

"So I've know these two kids since junior high. These are the best match if there was any," Richard smiled to the small dinner party. It was close friends and family only. "The only way these two would get broke apart was if it was the will of the cosmos, so I wish you the best of luck on your wedding day tomorrow. And happy birthday too in advance, Rox. To Roxanne Scavo and Robert Hollins, the best couple there ever was."

He raised his glass and so did the other ten people in the room. They toasted to mine and Robby's future together.

His hand came to rest on top of mine and he mouthed silently, 'I love you.'

I smiled at him and inclined my head and rested it lovingly on his shoulder. This earned an 'awe' from our little gathering.

"_Oh shut up," I said to them and we all erupted in laughter._

I rested my eyes and then I heard my future mother-in-law scream. She shrieked like hell and my eyes snapped open immediately. Everyone was backing away from the door outside. There were bright orange flames entering the room. I got up and started looking for a way out. The black smoke coiled around us all. We were pushed against the back wall and that's when I noticed the air vent above us. I pointed to it.

"Use that to get out!" I shouted and we helped one and other up to it.

Jay, Robby's Mom and his sisters went first followed by the best man and Sarah, my bridesmaid. It was just me and Robby left in the room and the flames were getting closer. I refused to leave him.

"Rox just go!" he shouted to me.

I shook my head, "I'm not leaving you!"

"I'll be right behind you!" he lied to me trying to get me to leave the building. Who was going to give him the boost he needed to get up to the vent?

"You hear that?" I told him hearing the sirens, "that's the fire Engine!"

"Rox!" he said clearly to me and I started to feel faint with the smoke. I wobbled on my feet and I saw the alarm in his eyes. He wasn't going to let me die. He picked me up and started to find a way through the flames to the other side. I heard him scream in agony as the heat seared his skin from his body.

I saw blurs of people hovering over me and I was carried into an ambulance. Robby was no longer carrying me. It was a fireman. He pushed the visor up on his helmet and looked at me. I saw yellow eyes. It was the only noticeable thing about him.

He started speaking to me, "it was your fault you know."

My eyes focused on him.

"Everything bad is your fault," he repeated.

_-M-_

I was standing in a hospital in one of the private rooms and realised that I wasn't injured. There was a bed nearby which I had just crawled out of. I looked down at my clothes. I was wearing the usual blue gowns that all patients wore. I ran my hands through my hair and found that they were full of soot.

A mirror appeared on the wall and I saw my own reflection. My hair was longer but otherwise I was the same. I heard the screams of a man down the corridor but I ignored them at first. I was bemused by the mirror. The image in the mirror began to change. I was replaced with a man with yellow eyes and a cocky smile. He was surrounded by fire.

Then he started laughing hysterically at me and I realised that the man screaming was my fiancé, Robby. I left the room and ran down to where the screams originated from. He was withering on the floor and pulling off the bandages that protected his injuries from the fire, he pushed the doctors away from him and stood there disfigured.

One of the doctors stood away from the others with the same yellow eyes, "you did it you know and it's your fault."

_-M-_

I was sat at the wheel of my beloved blue Honda driving through back country with Sarah sat next to me in the passenger seat. The radio was on and we were road tripping through the lesser known parts of the country or the more historical parts as she liked to call it.

"Remind me again why we're doing this?" I asked her with a smile, "Did we really have to?"

She laughed. Her ebony hair swaying as she did, "A 'course we did, Hun! You need to get all this stuff off ya chest!"

I stared ahead at the road and sighed.

"All of those bad dreams ya've been having. Everythin' that's happened. You needed out girl," she rubbed my arm soothingly, "he knew that."

I sighed and carried on driving. I saw a shadow in the road. At first I thought it was just a deer or something but it didn't move. A deer would've shot out of the way quicker than anything but it still didn't move. When my headlights hit it I saw that it wasn't a deer at all but a man!

I gasped and braked but I wasn't quick enough. I swerved in an attempt not to hit him. The last thing I saw before skidding off into woodland was a pair of bright yellow eyes.

When the car came to a halt we were nowhere near the road. I had busted my lip but that was about it. I unbuckled myself and shook Sarah's arm.

"Sarah?" I shook harder, "Sarah!"

There was no response. I felt for a pulse. I got nothing. There was nothing under her dark skin. My best friend was dead. I gulped and got out of the car shaking. I stared around wildly looking for help. It was pitch black and there were no lights anywhere. I folded my arms to try and retain some body heat.

"Help!" I shouted into the darkness, "Can anyone help me? Please!"

For a moment there was no sound anywhere. It was eerily quiet. Then I heard a rustling up ahead and ran after it.

"Hey! Is anyone here?" I asked and reached a clearing, "Please my friend she's. We need help!"

I heard movement behind me and I turned around. Then they were behind me again and again. Then there was a voice.

A woman's voice sounded behind me, "oh Roxanne! You should stop running. Stop thinking it's all an accident"

I turned to the source of the voice and I saw a young woman who was in her early to mid twenties. She was dark haired and fair skinned. She also had angelic blue eyes. Then she smiled and they turned yellow. I recognised this woman. She was me.

"As soon as you accept it is your fault," she continued, "that it is all your fault, then it will stop. You can learn to control this. Look at what you will become," she did a twirl, "No matter what path you take or who thinks they can save you they can't. Everyone you love will die until you accept you're potential. It's your destiny."

She grinned at me and I felt someone touch my shoulder. I turned to look at the space behind my left shoulder. There was nothing there or nothing I could see. Suddenly I was filled with hope. A strong and kind force began to pull me away from the scene. My surrounds got blurry as if they were out of focus. Then they were slowly replaced by darkness.

"See ya on the flip side," the woman said to me as she began to fade away.


	8. Water

_**Chapter Eight- Water**_

_A/N- I hope you all enjoy this one!_

The dream continued to drift away from me and for a few moments everything was black. It was like nothing existed and it was just me. There were no lights, no feeling, no sound, and no thoughts. There was just nothing.

Then I began to realise that there really was a hand resting on my shoulder. After that I noticed that I could hear voices in the distance getting closer and closer with every word.

"She was in that warehouse for a month!" I heard a guy shout, he was familiar, "how the hell did she even survive Alistair?"

Alistair, I knew him.

I heard a scoff coming from another man, "he wanted her for something that's for sure."

I tried to open my eyes a bit just so I could take a peak to see where I was. Just so I could make sure it was safe and there weren't any white or yellow or black or whatever the hell other colour eyes watching me from the shadows just waiting to pounce and finish off the job that Alistair had started.

I managed to open them for a second before my lids decided that they were too weak for anything else. I tried again and the same thing happened. I took a deep breath. I was worried about how much effort it took to do something so simple.

"Dean?" I heard the first voice say sceptically, "I think she just opened her eyes."

"Huh?" there was surprise in the other voice, "you're kidding me."

There was an intake of breath, "Nope. She's there alright."

"She is very weak," a third voice added.

When I had gathered enough strength to try and open my eyes again there was a tickle in my throat. It was dry and was making me want to cough. Suddenly my mouth opened and I coughed loudly. I tried to turn to one side so it wouldn't hurt as much. It felt like the inside of my throat was covered in sawdust and was red raw. I realised with dread that it was red raw. The hand stopped me and steadied me. It allowed me to breathe through the fit of coughs that attacked me.

I felt another hand on my chin trying to open my mouth a little more. A cool glass touched my lips and a strange liquid met my skin. It was water.

"Here drink this," a soothing voice told me and I managed to open my mouth some more. The hand tipped the glass just enough so the refreshing water could enter my body freely. It calmed my tickle and reminded me just how thirsty I was. I was parched.

"There, its okay," they told me, "you're okay."

I sighed and opened my eyes. I could maintain a small slit and this was my view of the world for the next four hours. The scene before me was almost surreal.

The freakishly tall guy from the diner and motel was the one holding the glass of water. He was kneeling down beside me and I realised I was lying on a bed. He gave me a grim smile and looked up to the other guy. He was the same one from the motel too. He was staring at me relief and shock written clearly across his face.

Why were they there?

I was starting to get sick of their stupid faces popping up when I least expected it. I saw guns hidden in their jeans.

Who were these people?

But neither of them had a hand on my shoulder. So who did?

I turned my head slowly. My neck was stiff and painful. The hand was tanned and it belonged to a man. My eyes followed the structure from the tips of the fingers to the wrist. Then up the arm to the shoulder. He was wearing a beige trench coat with a dark suit on underneath. I then looked up to his face from his chest.

His face was serene. He had dark messy hair that fell slightly to one side, his lips were pursed in concentration yet he looked perfect. This was the same guy who I had been seeing all the time. He was more than likely my little buddy in the radio too.

I groaned when I tried to twist into a more comfortable position. There were stabbing pains all down my body then just an eternal ache. The shoulder he had his hand on was still dislocated. I let my head drop a little so I could see what I was lying on. It was a bed, a cheap and hard motel bed. The sheets however were wrapped around me so I could see the tired mattress. The sheets looked a deep red colour almost like wine. Then I saw a corner and it was yellow. The sheets weren't meant to be red, I gasped when I realised that it was my blood!

I had nearly completely bled out onto them. I gulped and started to fret in my head. Panic consumed me. I was going to die. I was actually going to die. And in some cheap and dingy motel too with three strangers who qualified more as stalkers than friends or acquaintances.

The man gripped my shoulder a little tighter and I felt my worries start to get pushed to the back of my mind so I could think more clearly. I took in the details of the rest of the room. The walls were painted a dull blue colour and there was a dark carpet on the floor.

The guys on the other hand were much less relaxed. The shorter one picked up his cell phone and started dialling a number.

The Sasquatch stood up and regarded me with worry, "Dean, we need to get her somewhere now."

"I know!" came the stressed reply from the guy on the phone, "yeah can I have an ambulance? At the Blue Front Motel."

There was a tense silence when the guy stood next to me spoke quietly, "you cannot take her to a hospital."

The guy named Dean put his hand over the cell, "oh yeah? What else we meant to do with the poor bitch? Just let her die!"

"No," came a calm reply.

"Then what?" he shouted.

The other guy put his hands up not wanting the wrath of the other man to transfer onto him, "what about Bobby's?"

"Huh?" Dean closed the cell, "that's like two hundred miles away, why not take her to the hospital? She needs help," he muttered softly, "Should've listened to us in the first place."

I somehow found the strength to croak, "Shut up."

"Jeez, your strong," the taller guy said, "you should be in a coma."

I coughed again, "lucky me."

"You are," he told me.

Dean turned back to the quiet guy, "can't you heal her or anything?"

"I only have permission to sustain her. I cannot heal her," he said with his eyes still closed.

What were these people talking about?

"Then we're taking her to a hospital," he said and he approached me trying to get a firm enough grip on me to pick me up. He had one arm hooked under my legs and I groaned quietly at the pain. He then hooked his other arm underneath my torso. I cried out because it caused me so much pain.

"Be careful," the other guy said wearily.

He then turned to the trench coat saviour and told him, "We'll take her to the hospital. Cas, you get permission to heal her."

He then tried to lift me up off of the bed and I was cradled in his arms. My head was resting on his shoulder. My breathing came faster and the pain seemed to intensify when the other guy wasn't touching me. I began to silently weep and my arm hung loose in front of me. I managed to keep my own eyes open a little and I glanced at him. He opened his eyes slowly revealing sweet and sad blue eyes. He knew how much pain I was in.

"Dean," he said almost pleading, "She has not got the protection of heaven over her. She will not survive in a hospital."

"We're gonna take care of her," he told him slightly pissed off, "Sam, go start the car up."

The taller one left the room.

He shook his head, "you cannot take on the armies of hell. Alistair will find her. Lilith will find her and she will die."

Lilith? Alistair had mentioned her.

I stared at him for a long period of time as Dean thought of a reply. I kept looking into those eyes. The brilliant shade of blue. Then a light shining underneath. It was like being in a boat on the ocean and someone was shining a light up through the water. It twisted and turned and I was never able to focus on it. All I knew was that he was good. He was just good. I blinked and the light disappeared.

Dean sighed. He gave in, reluctantly.

"You must take her to Bobby," he said softly, "he will know what to do."

"She won't survive the ride," he told him knowingly, "she's lost too much blood."

Sam returned and stood in the door way.

'Cas' as he had been called told Dean, "She is stronger than you suspect."

He scoffed and looked down at me.

"Go," he told them both while standing tall.

I saw Dean's eyebrows raise a little and his eyes widen and he carried me out into the night. The breeze was cold against my wrapped up and bloody body, it helped to sooth the burning sensation that had spread all over my body. A fever was developing. There were very few lights on along the row of rooms and in the parking lot but I guessed that was just as well considering everything.

I was carried along the sidewalk for a little while until we reached a car. It was dark and big. It was one of those muscle cars. That's all I could tell about it. Sam opened the door to the back seat and I was lowered into it. They laid me down and made sure I was facing the front. My knees were bent and were at the same level as my chest because it was too small for me to lie out. Dean took off his jacket and folded it before lifting my head up a couple of inches and putting that underneath it.

I looked up at him and tried to smile to thank him. I noticed the sad puppy behind him and he looked down at me with such pain in his eyes. Dean turned around and jumped out of shock.

"Jesus. Damnit, Cas!" he shouted and then went to get in the driver's side.

Sam on the other hand was hovering nearby and talking on a cell phone, "Yeah. Big emergency. Salt the doors and windows. Uh-huh a couple of hours I guess, maybe a little less. Sure thing" he then wandered away and continued the conversation.

He watched him go then looked back to me. He knelt down so his face was only a couple of inches away from mine own. I tried to mouth something to him, to speak to him but all that came out was a croaky groan. My throat was too dry and I was too weak. My eyes were starting to flutter shut. I had to fight to keep them open.

"Have faith," he told me and then he raised his hand to my forehead and the burning started to ebb away. My fever was leaving me alone.

I blinked and heard the sound of fluttering wings nearby. When I opened my eyes again he was gone and Sam was just shutting the door. He then got in the passenger's side. I sighed as the engine was started and the car started to move. We left the car park and I started to lose consciousness then somehow recover it before losing it again.


	9. So This Is What Death Feels Like

_**Chapter Nine- So This Is What Death Feels Like**_

_A/N- Thank you to everyone who's reviewed or read this! Enjoy!_

My abused and wandering mind went over what had happened to me as I was laid in the back seat of the apparently classic car. My eyes were closed but I didn't sleep. I just couldn't. I had regained consciousness pretty quickly but I just hadn't had the strength to open my eyes or move. The images flashed in front of my mind like scenes from a home movie.

I was hearing the crash back at the house then seeing that silhouette with the trench coat billowing around him in the sudden wind, seeing _him_. The police and paramedics all over my front lawn around Robby's body, taking pictures and nodding grimly to each other. Then going over to the diner and finding Jay like that.

Then the running. The pain, the knives, the pokers. They were the freshest things in my mind and I didn't know if I could ever get over what had happened to me in that warehouse.

My mind went to the person who had saved me, the person who told me to have faith and be strong when I would have just crashed and burned. The guy with those big, wide Bambi like eyes. I realised he had been there all along, watching me, trying to warn me. He had even guided me to the two men who had tried to help.

And what had I done?

I'd told them that I wanted to be left alone. I had turned my back on two good Samaritans and ran straight into the arms of the enemy, whoever this enemy was.

He'd called them demons but there was no such thing. If there were demons then that meant there was hell. If there was hell then that meant that there was a heaven and angels and God. That also meant that everyone was judged. But after what Alistair had done to me could hell be any worse?

I hoped not.

My eyes started to well with tears and they escaped from under my closed lids and spill out onto my cut and sore cheeks. I opened my eyes to try and blink them away and caught sight of my body.

I was still wrapped up in several sheets that were stained red and I saw my blood beginning to pool on the seat below me. I had lost a lot of blood. I gulped awkwardly because my throat and mouth were dry and cracked. I was laid on my side and I moved my head an inch trying to become more comfortable. I cried out in pain as a blistering horror extended outwards from one of the vertebrae on my neck and down my spine spreading through my body. More tears started to fall because of the pain that I was going through.

The taller guy's head wiped round to see me. He looked down at me with fear and pit in his eyes, "don't worry, you're going to be fine. I promise."

He was lying.

My vision began to blur and I closed my eyes again. After that I guessed that they assumed I was out for the count.

I then heard the guy say to Dean, 'Umm. We're not going to make it to Bobby's."

"Whoa," was his reply and I felt the car turn and stop at the side of the road. The engine was still running though.

"She's loosing way too much blood," the other guy stated said with a heavy sigh.

They really thought that I couldn't hear them.

"I can see that Sammy," there was a thump. I guessed he lashed out at the steering wheel in pure anger and frustration, "Damnit Cas!"

"How the hell do you summon an angel?" Sammy asked out loud sounding exasperated.

I almost gasped. An angel, so they were real. Just like everything else that I had encountered lately. It was all true.

"I dunno. You're the college kid," he said like it was obvious and a little tongue in cheek, "you're supposed to be the smart one."

"Was the college kid," he corrected him and I heard shuffling. They must have been moving or something, "when did Cas say he'll show up?"

"He didn't. All he said was that he could sustain her. I told him to go get permission to heal her," he murmured something inaudible then said a little louder, "he won't be back until he gets it."

There was a desperate silence that seemed to last for hours. They were thinking of how they could help me and the quietness was their answer. There was no way that they could help me. Not unless they got me to a hospital within the next few moments.

Sammy's voice was hopeful when he spoke, "what about Ruby?"

"No!" Dean roared.

"She can help her!" he bellowed back.

The tone sounded dangerous. He growled lowly, "I am not letting that sonofabitch near her."

"Why not?"

"'Cause a goddam demon put her like that!" he shouted, "do you really think one's gonna help her get better?"

"Ruby isn't like the others! You know that!"

"The thing is I don't know that. She's a demon, all of them are evil backstabbing cowards" Dean told him with deep belief.

Another scoff came from Sammy, "oh yeah. I forgot that you know them so well."

There was an awkward silence between the two men and another minor movement on my behalf sent shockwaves of pain up and down my body. I whimpered in response and fresh tears found their way out of my eye sockets.

"How much farther?" Sammy asked quietly.

Dean sighed, "Only another thirty miles. Does he know we're coming?"

"Yeah, I called him back at the motel," he told him.

"Good. I don't want a demon busting in when we get there," he said without much hope, "call him again."

"What good-" Sammy started to protest.

"Just do it Sam! Please," he told him.

There were several clicks from him dialling a number and I couldn't pay attention to the conversation any longer. It just involved too much effort that I was unable to give to another other than breathing at the moment. I went back to my own thoughts.

I opened my eyes again and looked down at my battered and broken body. No way was I ever going to survive this but after thinking I was going to die nearly three times I knew this was it. It had to be. No one could survive this amount of trauma. Even if I ended up getting brilliant hospital care I wouldn't live. I couldn't. Plus, I just knew that the demons wouldn't let me.

The fear then struck me. There was a heaven and hell.

Which one would I go to? Had I been good enough to get into heaven? If not what was I going to be subdued to in hell? It couldn't be any worse than life lately could it? And would I ever get to see Jay and Robby again? Had Alistair been right? Were they in hell? What about my parents?

The questions kept hitting me and I was unable to answer any of them. I couldn't because I didn't know. I could always hope though.

Not that I'd done enough in my life to get to either heaven or hell. My entire life had been spent in Charleston with one little road trip out around one of the older founding towns of the modern United States. I hadn't gotten married nor had I had any kids. I hadn't seen the world. I had just been a waitress and let life take away everything that was ever good in my life. Maybe I deserved to die for that, just for not doing anything. I hadn't made a mark. My life was just a speck of dust on the page of history. The most interesting thing about me would be the police report. Missing and then dead after the rest of her family was killed. My eyes closed and I felt my body change.

I began to cry again and slowly everything went numb. First it was my finger tips and the ends of my toes but it spread up into my hands and feet before hitting my arms and legs. I stopped crying. Soon I couldn't feel anything. Not even the pain. I just laid there hopeless and empty.

This was what death really felt like. It was just a sense of hopeless nothingness. It wasn't anything interesting or painful like in the movies or in television shows. It was just death. It wasn't scary but just unknown. The thing that scared me was what would be on the other side.

I wondered when it was all going to go black. Would it go black or maybe white? Or would it just carry on to wherever I ended up?

I was going to find out pretty soon.

A voice entered my head. Not mine but someone else's. A tiny part of me was wondering if it was my brain acting out. It sounded like it belonged to the guy who wore the trench coat, the guy with baby deer eyes, Bambi. It was like he was there with me, I almost thought that I could feel his hand on my shoulder again.

_Please, you must have faith. You must be strong. It is the only way..._

Suddenly I had the strength to open my eyes one last time. I had to just because I needed to see if he was nearby. He had appeared behind Dean earlier with no former warning.

I saw someone watching me from outside the car through the window but it wasn't him. It was a woman. She had a peacefully serene expression placed upon her face. She was dressed in a blue summer dress which was weird for this time of night. She smiled at me and inclined her head a little bit in greeting.

She had long dark hair almost down to her waist with it tucked behind one ear to keep it from her face. She had pale skin and piercing yet comforting eyes.

"Roxanne," she spoke my name slowly and softly like she was talking to a terrified child. She extended her pale arm through the glass and reached out to me, "it is your time."


	10. Time's Up

_**Chapter Ten- Time's Up**_

_A/N- Hey everyone, thanks for reading and reviewing. You're all amazing. Italics past this point are other people's thoughts, not her own._

I stared up into the woman's eyes then looked down to her extended hand. I became confused. What was happening?

She smiled at me. She was willing me to take her hand, "Roxanne."

I gulped and slowly began to sit up. I was backing away from her, pressing myself against the door of the car and hitched my legs up to my chest. I clutched on to the sheets and pulled them up with me. The pain this should have caused would have crippled me but I either didn't feel it or I was just too focused on the woman.

The guys in front were starting to notice that something was wrong. I saw them turn and watch me and they muttered to each other.

"Sam?" it was a worried question.

"Yeah," he seemed distracted.

"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?"

"I sure hope not."

I opened my mouth so I could speak. Not to them but to her. At first I couldn't because I was too scared. Was she a demon, an angel or something a hell of a lot worse?

I took a breath and gasped, "Who are you?"

She smiled some more at me. She appeared to be mildly curious, "my name is Tessa and it is your time."

"My time for what?" my voice broke. I began to cry. Silent tears ran down my flushed cheeks.

I heard the alarm that passed between Sammy and Dean but it was distant somehow like a scene playing out on the television set with the volume turned down. My attention was completely on this Tessa.

"Holy crap," I heard Dean mumble, "It's a reaper."

"A reaper?" Sammy pondered.

"Cas had better get here quick," he said sternly.

She relaxed her arm a little and came down into the car sitting on the other half of the unoccupied back seat where I had been laid down previously, "Roxanne. You're dying."

"It's Rox," I mumbled, "I know that I'm dying but where will I go?"

"I can't tell you that," she smiled again, "but you're not the first soul I've helped to pass over to the other side."

I nodded, "after everything I'm still dying. I survived all that for nothing. I went through all that pain for nothing."

"Sometimes that's just how it has to be," she told me honestly.

_No it doesn't, do not listen to her._

Bambi?

I cried some more and closed my eyes.

"All you have to do is take my hand and it will be all over," she soothed me.

_Please do not take her hand. Stay strong._

For a second I wanted to. I wanted to take her hand and let it all be over. His voice made me hesitate but what good would come of me living?

The demons, or more specifically Alistair, would find me and I didn't know if I could live through that again. I wanted to embrace the next life and make the pain stop. So I could see my parents face to face and not know them from photographs in picture albums and say sorry to Robby and to hug Jay again. I began to reach out, my fingers nearly met hers in the air between us when I heard something else.

_You must have faith. It is __**not**__ your time. You have work to do._

My hand twitched backwards for a moment. The voice wasn't Bambi's and it wasn't mine. I gulped and wondered what it had meant. It was a man that much was for sure. It was someone with an accent that I'd heard before. For a second I could've sworn I knew the face of the person who owned the voice but the feeling disappeared before I could pinpoint who.

And something snapped inside me. Something just clicked, it was something that hadn't quite made it to the surface before now but had simmered where I just couldn't reach it. I was in my mid-twenties and I hadn't gotten married nor had kids but that didn't mean my life was worthless or anywhere near over.

It just meant I hadn't done a couple of things but heck I hadn't done an awful lot of things. I'd stayed in a dead end town but if I fought for my life like I had done with Alistair then I could make it. I could have a second chance. I could find out why all this had happened and I could get revenge.

I had strength within my now burning deep in my chest that made me shake my head, pull my hand away from her and protest shakily, "no. It's not my time."

I bit my lip not knowing what was going to happen or how Tessa was going to react.

"Ah," I heard someone say.

Tessa seemed sad. Almost disappointed in me, "oh, you do know what will happen if you-"

She never finished her sentence. She stopped abruptly and her eyes seemed to focus on somewhere else. She looked around for a few moments before looking back at me with dawning in her eyes, "oh."

I blinked to clear the tears and when I opened my eyes again she was gone. The seat was empty and I still had the same feeling inside me. I gulped and looked into the front seat.

The two guys were staring at me appearing shell-shocked. They were partly amused but mainly shocked by what had happened. I guessed that they could see the woman too and it was her disappearance which had confused them although they didn't seem that easy to shock.

I pulled myself up and gripped onto their seat. My fingers were digging into the leather and my nails were starting to hurt with the amount of effort I was putting into it.

"Whoa," Dean whistled.

Sammy seemed more concerned, "what the hell?"

He shrugged, "whatever happened it must've been good."

I looked them in the eye. Beads of sweat were forming on my skin. The fever was starting to come back and that coupled with my effort level was slowly starting to send my body over the edge yet again.

I was still bleeding a hell of a lot and the pain was worse than ever before. I suspected I was living on borrowed time but I still managed to speak in a determined but shaky voice, "it's not every day I get to turn death down."

Dean turned to Sammy, "I like her."

The other man simply rolled his eyes.

My eyes unfocused and everything went blurry for a few moments. Then I felt bile trying to rise in my throat. I managed to hold it down.

"Guys, can we hurry this up?" I asked breathing hard.

They took my verbal prod and they turned around to face the road. Sammy got out his cell and called someone, I guessed it was Bobby, to keep him updated on the situation.

Dean on the other hand pulled us out onto the freeway and he didn't care about how fast we were going. I eyed the speedometer warily at one point and saw we were well over the suggested speed limit.

Oh well, my fever was catching up on me. I needed help.


	11. Jerk

_**Chapter Eleven- Jerk**_

_A/N- Enjoy!_

I tried to stay focused on the road ahead. I stared past the glass windshield out onto the dark tarmac. The headlights were lighting the way but there wasn't much to see just trees and road with a couple of road signs every so often.

My fever was getting worse with every breath that I took. I felt beads of sweat forming on my back and between my breasts mixing in with the blood on the sheets. I lifted a shaky hand up to wipe my face while my other clutched to the seat for dear life. If I didn't I knew that I would fall backwards.

Sam was still on his cell talking quietly. I could hear him talking but I just didn't understand it. It was like my brain just couldn't make sense of his words. I put it down to the amount of stress my body was under.

I coughed suddenly. The force what I did actually brought up more blood. I wondered if I was going to have any left by the time we got to Bobby's house or whatever. Then I realised my breathing was fast and shallow. The road was starting to blur, everything started to mingle together and become unrecognisable.

I closed my eyes and started to concentrate on my breathing. My grip on the seats got tighter and my lower jaw started to quiver and shake. My fever was turning into shivers. That wasn't good.

I thought of the words that had given me strength to say no '_you have work to do'_. I didn't know who owned the voice or why they would say I had work to do. The only work I could see was getting revenge but against demons, was that even possible?

That voice had given me more stamina and drive than anything in a very long time. If I could just hold it together for a little while longer then I knew that I could make it. I would make it. I shut my jaw and held it in place with as much strength as I could gather and remembered to take long measured breaths.

Breathe in.

I realised how damp the sheets were. They felt like they had just come out of the washing machine back at home. They were soaking. But not with water and smelling faintly of meadows but with my blood and sweat and they smelt of death or the dying would be more accurate I guessed.

Breathe out.

I felt under my hands. The material of the car was smooth and soothing like a mother's hand. Huh, a mother. I'd never had one of them. I'd never even had an aunt. How could I compare anything to a mother? I could compare to a father but not really.

Breathe in.

I heard Sam talking distantly. I could understand his words again.

"Anyway. Yeah a reaper, no I'm not yanking your chain. Nope, nope. Bobby just. Just you'll believe it when you see her. We'll be there in ten," he hung up.

Breathe out.

I felt that I finally had enough control to open my eyes again. Dean kept sending me glances via the rear view mirror. If I had enough strength I would've told him to keep his eyes on the road. Sam on the other hand still had his cell out and was pondering whether to call someone else. I took a sneak peak at the screen and saw the name Ruby. It was a woman. Huh, this guy didn't care if someone was dying, he still wanted to call his girlfriend. Jerk.

Breathe in.

Maybe it was a good idea if I didn't too get worked up on anything. I should stay focused on the situation. I should stay completely aware, be completely alive and completely fight it.

Breathe out.

The car swerved off of the main road and up a dirt track. The movement disorientated me instantly. I slammed my eyes shut to stop the nausea. I kept my eyes closed and the shivers extended all over my body. I couldn't control my breathing any more. It came in ragged shudders mixing in with the shivers. I felt the car stop moving and I thought I was going to faint. My hands gripped to the seat even tighter.

I began to burn up on the inside. I was somehow shivering and sweating on the outside and being cooked alive on the inside. I was in big trouble.

I had to focus. I had to. I thought of various things but I couldn't hold on to them for much longer than a few seconds before my mind moved onto the next one. Sheep. Animals. Disney. Bambi. Angels. Demons. Torture. Death. Home. Revenge.

My mind settled on two words. Home and revenge. My home had been destroyed and the only thing that I could ever get was revenge. But against who? Which of the demons had actually done the deed? The man or the woman? Which one had given the order? Did I go after Alistair or Lilith?

I heard doors open and shut but paid them no attention. I had a mental line up of them in my head and nearly burst out laughing.

I was hysterical.

I heard another door open. I felt another weight on the seat and then I felt a gentle arm reach around my waist. Then I felt a rough hand on top of my own.

The person tugged at me but I was stiff. I wouldn't move.

"Come on," it was Dean. His voice was husky, "you have to get inside."

With his help I slowly forced myself to release the grip I had on the seats. When I was free I just flopped backwards. My back was too weak to support me and I guess that meant my legs were too. He caught me and my head hit his shoulder softly. He made sure he had a good grip around my shoulders before backing out of the car taking me with him. When he was sure he wasn't going to injury any of us he hooked his other arm under my legs and cradled me like a baby in his arms. He carried me over to the house and I kept my eyes closed. What would I see anyway?

I was too weak to even open them a slit. The wind was light and didn't help my condition.

I felt us travel up some porch steps and I heard a door creak open before we got into the house. The wind disappeared. I wasn't put down though. Dean kept hold of me.

I heard a gruff voice next. It was alarmed and it came from someone that I'd never met before, "Jesus you weren't kiddin' when you called. She looks at deaths door!"

I heard furniture moving about in the next room.

I heard Dean talking, it was a strange experience being blind, "Yeah, we think a reaper showed up at one point."

"Put her down here," the other man said. I guessed it was Bobby, "Sam said but how she is still here? I've never known anyone do that."

I was lowered and placed on a sofa or something. It didn't feel soft but it wasn't hard either. But then again I was more concerned with my pain.

"And to still be still conscious," Sam chipped in from somewhere farther away than the others, "she's still fighting it."

I heard the creak of floor boards and felt the sticky sheet that had been wrapped around me to try and staunch the blood loss move away from my body. The shivers that attacked my body were more evident. My teeth were chattering and I was trying to curl up into a ball to conserve energy. The problem was the pain it caused me was too much.

Bobby took a sharp breath, "my God. She should have died days ago."

Thanks I couldn't help thinking and my eyebrows twitched involuntarily.

"I think she heard you," Sam pointed out.

He was such a smart ass it was starting to annoy me. If I wasn't the one dying then I probably wouldn't be bothered.

"Right," Bobby was thinking, "he give any idea when he'd be back?"

All I heard was silence, I knew what they were thinking. If Bambi didn't get back soon I'd be on the other side quicker than some priest could give me my last rites.

I heard a sigh, "Sam go to the basement and in the second draw closest to the door you'll find a rosary, bring it back to me."

He didn't ask what it was for and I heard his large feet disappear down some stairs.

"Dean, you watch her while I go the kitchen and make something up that'll let her rest," he disappeared too.

No! My head was screaming. If I fell asleep then I'd die! What was that guy thinking?

I felt Dean's gaze on me. A short while after they'd disappeared he started talking to me.

"I know you're awake," were his first words, "don't worry about Bobby, he'd doing his best. Least you're not back on that rack, huh?" he chuckled to himself, "I was on that thing once down in hell."

In hell?

I heard footsteps and he fell silent.

"There, Dean you prop her head up," it was Bobby then he turned to me, "Girl, I know you can hear me and if you wanna live through the night you'll have to drink this. It's something that'll help the pain ease off."

But the pain was keeping me conscious!

I felt my head rise but I clamped my mouth shut.

"You have a better chance sleeping your way through the fever and shivers," he said.

I hesitated for a moment.

_Drink it, it will help you heal._

Bambi was back.

Reluctantly I opened my mouth and allowed the warm liquid flow down my throat and into my stomach. It wasn't too much effort to swallow as the liquid wasn't thick or foul tasting. A few moments after I had finished the drink I heard Sam come into the room but something was different. The sound of his food steps was somehow muffled.

Their voices were too.

"Got it."

"Why'd we need a rosary anyway?"

"Yeah, hadn't we best do a summoning or something?"

"Huh? Oh for the angel brigade. Ugh."

I could've sworn he said summoning but my hearing was now going completely. I wanted to yawn so badly.

"Would you two shut up and help me?"

Then everything went silent but not because they'd shut up. It was because I'd fallen asleep.


	12. Castiel

_**Chapter Twelve- Castiel**_

_A/N- Enjoy!_

I stirred. I had the strangest dream, a nightmare. My whole body was stiff. I guessed that I'd fallen asleep on the couch while watching TV or something. I yawned and stretched my free arm upward. Tiny splinters of pain hit my muscles and bones and I recoiled. I really was stiff!

People had died in my dream, I had been tortured then saved, then been driven to the middle of nowhere. And all the way through I had this one guy and his voice following me. Keeping me safe. My eyelids fluttered for a moment and I caught a glimpse of the room I was in. It wasn't my living room.

How was that possible? I still had to be dreaming. I had to be. I opened my eyes. I was staring at a ceiling that had weird symbols all over them. They looked a little demonic. I looked around. The room was large and it looked more like a library than anything else. Piles of books were everywhere. The walls were painted red and the doors and windows were framed with dark wood. I was lying on a pink old fashioned couch. This was definitely not my living room. There was an old fashioned lamp placed only a few feet from my head and a wooden rosary was dangling from it.

Yeah I'm dreaming, I resigned, I have to be.

I yawned again and noticed someone else was in the room. I turned my head slowly. He was sat on another chair at a forty-five degree angle to me. He was sat with his legs spaced apart and with his chin resting on his linked hands. He was wearing a trench coat with a suit underneath, his top button was undone and his tie was loose around his neck. His hair was dark and naturally flopped over to one side giving him an accidental quiff. His eyes were a bright and intense shade of blue. It was him.

And the dream continues, I thought with a sigh.

I sighed internally at it all. I just wanted to wake up now. This wasn't fun. I wanted to get back to my safe little life.

"You are not dreaming," the man said.

My eyes went wide and I recoiled shrinking further into the couch. He had heard my thoughts! If I wasn't dreaming then I was in one seriously fucked up situation.

"This is real," he confirmed.

I looked down and away from his piercing eyes. Tears were starting to well up in my own and it felt like he was looking into me. It was almost like he was looking into my soul. Some of the tears split over and I wiped them away quickly with the back of my hand.

"They're really dead," I said to no one but myself.

He answered anyway, "Yes. I am sorry."

I shook my head and I noticed my shoulder was still limp by my side but I didn't feel any pain, just a tingling as it hung there. Then I remembered that I had drunk something before I passed out or fell asleep, it must've been a pain killer. I realised that I was wrapped in clean blankets and saw an inch long white scar just under the joint of my shoulder. A left over from when I had been tortured. How long had I been out of it?

"You have been unconscious for a night," he spoke with a level voice.

I eyed the guy. He looked at me innocently. He didn't know about the word privacy. I rubbed at my injured shoulder and saw another white mark running down under the sheets. I remembered laying on the table and being cut. The images flashed in front of my eyes and my own screams echoed around my ears. I sat up quickly. Too quickly. Pains attacked my stomach and I gritted my teeth in pain.

"You should not do that again," he commented.

I ignored him and allowed the sheet to come loose and pulled it so I could see my body clearly without allowing the man to see anything. Tiny white scars crisscrossed my skin all the way from my collar bone down to my hips. There were bigger and nastier looking marks here and there. There was a ting patch of unmarked skin surrounding the scar I'd had all my life. I hadn't really looked at it before. I'd noticed it but never really looked at it. It was about an inch and a half in length and an inch wide. It sat on the narrow ridge that was my hip bone.

I heard Alistair's voice again in my mind, "Shaped into a pair of wings, an angel's wings."

It really did look like a pair of an angel's wings. One of those classical and romantic types. It was elegantly arched on each wing softly curling up at each end to form the tip. But why did I have it and why were my wounds healing so damn quickly?

I had to have been out of it for more than a night. I carefully laid myself back down and sighed internally. I was starting to wonder if that little piece of tissue was the cause of all this. I turned my head slightly to the guy.

"Are you the person who was in the back of my car?" my voice was hoarse. I couldn't remember the last time that I'd drunk any water, "and at my house?"

He nodded, "yes I was there to err protect you."

My eyebrows met in confusion, "but you let Robby die?"

He looked uncomfortable, "I was not permitted to save him."

"What about Jay?" my eyes stung with fresh tears, "I saw you at the diner too."

He looked down at his feet and rubbed his hands together, "there was an intervention."

I scoffed and looked back up at the ceiling. After a few moments of silence I asked, "Why were you in the radio?"

"I needed to warn you," he said.

There were a few more seconds of awkward silence.

"Thanks for getting me out of that warehouse anyway," I told him.

"It was my duty," was all he said and I wiped my tears away.

The room was silent for a few moments and I realised that there were no other sounds coming from anywhere within the house.

"I'm healed. How does that work?" I asked him.

"I healed you," he answered me choosing not to expand at all.

I stared up at the symbols and wondered what they could possibly mean. I glanced over to him, "how?"

"With the power of heaven," he told me.

I looked him up and down wondering if he was mad.

He tilted his head to one side and asked, "Don't you believe?"

It wasn't that I didn't believe. I mean I'd faced about three demons and they were real. So demons must come from hell and if there's a hell then there's a heaven and angels. I just didn't get why anyone gave a crap about me!

"Yeah," I croaked, "I just can't help but wonder why me."

The curtains were open and light flirted in. Half of the room was in the light whereas the area I was in was in relative darkness. There was a clock on a desk nearby. It told me it was about eleven a.m.

"Where are the others?" I asked and looked around for a glass of water. My throat was parched, "the tall one, the cute one and the guy whose house this is."

"They all left, I am to watch you," he answered simply.

I can see that, I remarked mentally.

This guy was either being a total douche on purpose or simply didn't realise he was doing it. Whichever reason it was starting to annoy me.

I nodded or at least tried to. I had to stop because of the pain it caused in the back of my neck, "who are you?"

"Castiel," he almost whispered his name, "I am an angel of the Lord."

The name did something to me. It was like I had heard it before. I knew at that moment I would never forget this man or angel. It wasn't because of what happened but because of the way he looked. His jaw set tight and eyes cast down. He was a warrior of God. I felt awestruck.

"What are you doing down here?" I asked. Why would an angel be hanging around on this dead end planet?

He sighed, "We are walking amongst you to try and stop the apocalypse."

I gulped and decided I must've misheard. I changed the topic anyway, "do you know why all this happened to me?"

"We shall discuss that later," he stood and walked over to the window. He folded his hands behind his back and stared out. I distantly heard the sound of a car, "they're here now."


	13. Ass

_**Chapter Thirteen- Ass**_

_A/N- Enjoy! _

Castiel stayed at the window until the others were actually in the house. I stayed laid down. I was developing a head ache. That probably came from my dehydration.

Dean walked into the house first and he was carrying several bags in his hands. Sam was hovering behind him looking concerned with paper grocery bags in his arms. I didn't know where Bobby was.

Dean looked at Castiel before moving further into the room. The glance they exchanged was short and both of them were solemn. He set the bags down and knelt down near me. Sam went into the kitchen and put the groceries on the table before coming back and leaning quietly against the wall.

"Hey," Dean said to me quietly and pressed his hand against my forehead, "doing any better?"

I coughed, "I have a headache and there's something wrong with my arm."

He looked down at it, "we'd best wait till Bobby gets in before we relocate it."

I nodded although I was shocked that it was dislocated, "can I have some water please?"

Bobby then walked through the door with some more paper bags, "you haven't had anything to drink?"

His voice was gruff and local.

I shook my head.

"Damnit Dean, I thought you said he'd look after her!" he yelled as he went into the kitchen.

The younger man looked over to the angel, "Cas, you didn't give her anything to drink?"

"She didn't ask for it," he said while looking around.

He started to rip into him "you were meant to be looking after her, hell if a demon stormed in here and she didn't ask for your help would you-"

I coughed, "stop it. It's just water for God's sake."

I saw Castiel flinch and I realized my mistake. Bobby came in with a glass of water and he helped me sit up so I could drink it.

"Thank you," I whispered to him then turned to Sam and Dean, "I should have listened to you back at the motel, I'm sorry."

Sam shrugged it off, "don't think about it, you're safe now."

I gave him a weak smile and looked at my arm. The others understood.

Dean told me, "now your arms been dislocated for a long time so it's gonna be worse than normal. This is going to hurt like hell so Sammy's gonna hold you down okay?"

I nodded and Sam wrapped his large and long arms around my torso and other arm. His also positioned me so that I wouldn't kick Dean in the face. I took a deep breath.

"Okay I'm going to count to three," he told me, "one."

He pushed hard on the joint and I screamed in pain and lashed out to try and get away. It popped back in but not before I had managed to give Sam a black eye from swinging and getting free with my good arm.

He let me go and I clutched at my aching joint. He rubbed his own eye.

"Sorry," I apologized and took another drink of my water.

He blinked several times, "it's okay. Dean's given me worse than this."

I smiled, "so how long was I in that place?"

They all looked at each other.

"You remember when everything started happenin' as in the really bad stuff?" Bobby asked me.

"Erm yeah," I thought for a moment, "the end of September, the thirtieth."

Dean sighed, "We thought you were dead after you were taken from the motel. We looked for you everywhere."

"We had hunters all over the country keepin' an eye out for you," Bobby told me.

"And angel breath over there doesn't tell us anything about you or where you were," he jerked a thumb over to Castiel.

He looked over completely unemotional, "I was not permitted."

"Okay," I was confused, "so when did Castiel find me?"

"The first of November," Sam told me.

"What?" I was in shock, "how can I have missed an entire month? Or how can I have lived that long without food or water and in that place with _him_!"

They all looked over at Castiel.

He sighed, "Resources are limited, and I was the only one searching for you. And it is quite possible especially for you. You are not a typical human and that is why the demons are interested in you."

"But why does heaven care?" I asked coldly.

He lips pulled into a tight frown, "I cannot discuss that."

"Is that because you don't know?" Dean asked tongue in cheek.

Sam could sense the atmosphere of the room and chose to leave quickly, "I need to make a call."

He left through the front door while pulling his cell out of his pocket. I guessed that he was calling Ruby, I remembered him and Dean arguing about her when I was in the back of his car.

I gulped and rubbed my hands together, "so who are you guys?"

"I'm Dean Winchester," he introduced himself, "Sam's my baby brother and we're hunters."

"I'm Bobby Singer and I'm a hunter too," he told me.

My mouth flapped as I tried to word my question, "what? I mean how I mean do you hunt bears and stuff or something else?"

"Something else," Dean confirmed, "We hunt every evil sonofabitch on this planet which is mainly demons now."

"Whoa. Is it true?" I looked at Castiel, "about the apocalypse?"

Bobby and Dean sent stern looks at the angel.

"Yes," Castiel told me, "There are over six hundred possible seals that the angels must stop before they reach sixty six."

My mouth went dry, "good luck with that but how the hell did you learn about all this? Or get involved in this shit?"

Bobby answered, "Everyone gets into this 'cause they lose someone like you did."

I nodded and was finally starting to feel comfortable in the house, "thank you. For helping me, you didn't have to."

He shrugged, "It's no problem."

I gave him a grateful smile and looked up at Dean, "holy shit!"

I fell backwards taking the couch with me and ending up with several piles of books on top of me.

"Foul language, just like a mud monkey," a black guy commented who had just appeared out of thin air behind Dean who also cursed under his breath when his heard his voice.

He walked over to my feet and peered down at me.

"Uriel, what are you doing here?" Castiel asked.

"What did you say?" I addressed Uriel.

He chuckled, "I called you a mud monkey though that's not technically correct."

"And who shoved the stick up your ass?" I screwed up my face in disgust and moved some of the heavier books off of my body.

"Oh," he laughed, "you are fiery!"

I scowled at the man. And he scowled back at me and I saw something move beneath the surface like I had done with the demons only it was harder to pinpoint. I searched for it and found a twisted white withering mass with dark black pit hole eyes. It made my physically ill and had to look away.

"Uriel?" came the stern voice of Castiel.

I took one more look and it caused me to throw up bile in my mouth. There was nothing else in my stomach apart from water. I really didn't like or trust this guy.

"I have come to inform you about revelation," he told Castiel in a smug voice.

He was dumbfounded, "I sought it two nights ago."

"There has been more," he smiled, "our superiors have decided that you shall stay and watch over her while they reach a decision rather than someone of lesser power or experience."

"And I suppose you will take my place within the garrison?" he asked.

Uriel nodded and then I blinked and he disappeared with a fluttering noise.

"What an ass," I judged and the two human men helped me up from my position under the books.

"You're tellin' me," both of them agreed.


	14. Perverts

_**Chapter Fourteen- Perverts**_

_A/N- Another update! Enjoy!_

I balanced unsteadily on the wooden flooring as I held the pale bed sheet up around my body. One thing I didn't need was for these guys to see me naked. Well me naked without all that blood and my intestines hanging out of my gut. Dean helped me with his arm around my shoulders and Bobby wandered off into the kitchen. He left the door open so that he could see us.

"So what's all this got to do with me?" I asked and looked directly at Castiel who blinked and chose to stare out of the window, "I mean, why do you, _Angels,_ give a damn about me?"

"Get dressed and we'll have breakfast then we'll try to figure that out," Bobby called through the door.

I was confused. What was I going to get dressed in to? I didn't have any clothes or any other object anymore.

The young man saw the look on my face and answered my unspoken question, "we went to the local store in town and got you some clothes."

"Okay," I moved away from him and staggered over to the plastic bags that had been placed on the floor not too far away. I was so unused to walking that it took me a couple of steps to even remember how to put on foot in front of the other. I looked down at the bags. I was skeptical that they had even gotten anything in my size, let alone whether it was anything that I liked. But then again it looked like I didn't have much of an option.

I crouched down and opened the first bag ignoring the ache that it caused in my stomach muscles and my shoulder whenever I moved. I noticed that it was full of underwear. There were the basic bras and panties, mainly in black and white. I looked at the sizing. It was the right one!

I looked over to Dean shocked, "this is the right size. How the hell did you guys know?"

"What can I say?" He smiled and shrugged, "I've spent a lot of time around women and their boobs."

He wandered off and left me in the living room. I looked through the rest of the underwear. There were some sets, fancy and sexy ones. Panties with frills and others made out of silk. It made me laugh at what they assumed I would wear. I pulled a hot pink bra out of the bag. I rolled my eyes to myself and put it back in. I had never worn anything hot pink in my entire life and I wasn't about to start now.

I looked through the other bags. They were full of jeans and t-shirts. There were one or two sweaters and two pairs of leather boots, one black and one brown. There was also a pair of comfortable sneakers. I selected a pair of dark denim jeans with a black tank along with the black boots and suitable underwear.

I stood up gritting my teeth silently against the pain and soreness. I realised that Castiel was still stood by the window quite oblivious to the fact I was about to strip to my birthday suit. I cleared my throat. He didn't even look around. I coughed loudly. He turned his head a little to make sure I was still alive. I sighed and rubbed at my shoulder.

This was going to be fun, I thought.

"Hey Bambi," I called out darkly and he turned to face me.

"My name is Castiel," he blinked several times. I could almost see the cogs in his brain trying to fathom out why I had called him such a thing.

I sighed again, "You plan on staying there while I get changed?"

He looked at me confused, "I have to watch you. My superiors have commanded that I cannot leave you alone."

"That doesn't mean you have to watch me get naked!" I stared at him.

This dude really didn't understand any form of privacy.

"It is not safe," he said simply but turned around anyway. He faced the wall and was looking up at the ceiling.

"No peaking," I said sternly, "damn angels, I bet you're all perverts."

I dropped the sheet and moved as fast as I could or as fast as the pains would allow me to get dressed. I was going to be aching for a very long time. I tried to ignore my already healing scars but I doubted that they would disappear completely. After a few minutes I was done and caught him trying to twist his head in my direction.

I folded my arms across my chest, "Yeah, perverts."

He turned around and he looked ashamed and guilty. I sighed, all my anger and annoyance disappeared. How could anyone stay mad at someone so innocent?

Dean opened the door and beckoned us in to the kitchen. He looked me up and down as I passed him, "very nice, Miss Scavo."

"You can keep the pink bra. I know that's your type."

He grinned at me, "as long as a hot chick is wearing it I don't care what colour it is."

I rolled my eyes, "how do you guys know my name?"

Bobby answered. He was wearing a worn apron and frying some eggs and bacon, "we're not idjits you know. Well those two are."

The younger man looked at him aghast before shaking his head. He took his seat at the end of the table and supped at his beer.

I shook my head and sighed. I wandered into the kitchen and sat down farthest away from the wooden door I saw leading out into the backyard. Cas followed in behind me and chose to lean against the wall opposite. I'm supposing this was to 'watch me'.

"Bit early for that, ain't it?" I asked while rubbing at my scars.

He shrugged, "it's two a.m somewhere."

He was right, plus he was a hunter. That meant he dealt with this shit every damn day of his life. Hell, I'd need to drink at midday if that was my life. God help me if it ever went that way.

Bobby plated up the food and we started to eat. I didn't realize just how ravenously hungry I was. I finished my plate quicker than either of the men could have dreamed of.

"Damn," Dean commented glancing at my empty plate and looked over at Bobby.

I was still hungry. That's what you got for being cooped up in a warehouse for a month with no food or water though.

"Huh, I knew you'd be starving," the old man laughed a little before motioning behind him, "just go take as much as you want out of the pan, Roxanne."

"Rox. I prefer Rox, but thanks," I said to him hoping that I didn't sound too rude when I had corrected him. I had never been able to stand my name. I got up and put four rashes of bacon and another two eggs on my plate and refilled my glass with water. While I was up I asked, "What's the deal with the rosary anyway?"

"'Cuse me?" he seemed confused for a couple of seconds. Suddenly, it lifted from his eyes, "oh the one by the lamp? It's part of a ritual to keep the Reapers away."

"Reapers?" I sat back down and my eyes danced between the two men. The word had jogged a memory within me, "what's a Reaper? You don't mean as in the Sam, Sock and Ben kinda reaper, do you?"

"Nope," Sam answered from the doorway. He'd just turned up, "that's what was talking to you last night."

"The woman, you mean Tessa was a Reaper?" I was shocked but it made sense. Why else would she be trying to convince me that my time was up? She had seemed so nice.

"If that's what she called herself then yeah," he nodded. His eyes travelled over to Bobby before glancing quickly behind himself, "there's Rufus here to see you."

"Ahh, Rox just make yourself comfortable," he smiled down at me as he pulled himself out of the chair. He made his way around the kitchen and out towards the front of the house.

"Thanks," I smiled gratefully and carried on eating. My cheeks hurt a little, it had been so long since I'd smiled.

Sam got his own food from the pan and started eating too. He sat in the only available space at the table. He had his own beer and everything was quiet for a few moments. Now that I had something in my stomach I was feeling much better. Well, better compared to before.

Suddenly I opened my mouth and my voice asked a question before I really knew what I was saying, "who's Ruby?"

They looked at me then each other. I saw Castiel scowl to no one in particular. None of them answered my question so I carried on talking.

"I heard you arguing about her last night. You know when I was dying? And I saw you nearly dial her number too," I said to Sam. It was obvious that she wasn't well liked but I was just curious.

Sam sighed and pushed his food around his plate.

Castiel answered on behalf of the brothers, "Ruby is a demon. She is an abomination and I will never trust her."

I whistled, "You really don't like her."

He looked at me as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. His expression softened though when I met his eyes with my own. He looked away after a few moments. Even though this guy was all blunt and stern there was a lot more to him. He wasn't like Uriel. He wasn't holier-than-thou.

I looked down at my plate. I got some bread and dipped it in the leftover egg yolk before putting some salt on the bread. This was a habit I had picked up from Uncle Jay. Tears started to well and I had to bite my lower lip to stop myself crying. I remembered what had happened to him and what had happened to Robby. Sam and Dean pretended not to notice but Castiel kept staring at me. His head was tilted slightly to the side.

"Cas, can you not talk about her like that?" Sam asked and he didn't reply.

I remembered something, "Wait, you were there in the diner. You were with her, weren't you? That was the other woman. I saw you."

He nodded ashamed, "Yeah, we tried to stop Casey."

Dean put his fork down and looked at him, "You what? She's probably facebook friends with those bitches! And not to mention wasn't Cas meant to be stopping Casey?"

"Dean, Rox managed to get away," he made an excuse trying to make it all alright again. But it wasn't, "it's fine."

Something dawned in my mind. I looked over at Castiel and whispered, "An intervention?"

He gave me a sad look. That was all the confirmation I needed.

That was why he hadn't been able to save Uncle Jay or grab me before I even made it to the motel. Sam and his friend, Ruby, had been too quick to act. They had been impatient and probably thought that they had been doing the right thing. I gave a quick glance to Sam. I felt no anger or hatred when I looked at him. How could I when he assumed he was doing the right thing? I didn't want to hate him. He hadn't been the one to pull the knife across Jay's throat so he wasn't to blame, was he?

I sighed and stopped eating. I just didn't feel like it now. Sam and Dean were still arguing. They had been the entire time I had been thinking.

Finally Dean stood up glaring at the younger man.

"You know what? I'm tired of you and her playing the fucking lone rangers," he shook his head, "I'm going to clean the Impala."

He left and the door banged shut after him.

Sam ran his hands through his hair. He looked over to me with torn eyes, "I'm sorry."

"Its okay," I answered quietly, "you called her, didn't you? A few minutes ago."

He nodded and laughed, "You're smart."

"Nope," I smiled, "I just have gut feelings."

I felt Castiel's eyes staring at me. I looked at him and he was thinking deeply, I was betting his barely saw what was happening in front of him. The door into the living room opened and Bobby and a black old guy walked in. We all said hi and Bobby introduced us all.

"Rufus, this is Rox," he started pointing me out then he waved an absent hand over Sam, "you already know Sam and this guy's Castiel."

"Ahh the angel," he nodded knowingly. He turned to me, "I've been told that you got captured by demons."

"Yeah," I nodded looking away and setting my jaw hard, "worst day of my life. Scratch that, worst _month_ of my life."

"Don't worry," he said kindly, "the more time you spend hunting the more you get used to it."

"Oh I'm not a hunter," I corrected him casting him a curious glance. I noticed that he was holding a small brown bag in his hand.

"Not yet, this life gets everyone exposed to it in the end," told me solemnly. He turned to Bobby, "anyway thanks for the brand, I'll be seeing you. Stay safe."

Bobby nodded and Rufus left out through the front.

"Brand?" I asked.

He shook his head, "not much just a mark so the demon can't smoke out while you're questioning him."

My eyes widened. Smoke out? What the hell?

"Oh," I blinked wonderingly. I thought better of asking what he meant, "I think I'll go for a walk."

"I'll go with you," Castiel started towards the door at the same time as me.

"I'll be fine," I told him but part of me knew he would never leave me alone. He followed after me as I stepped outside.


	15. Casey

**Chapter Fifteen- Casey**

_Hey! Hope you enjoy this one! Sorry for this being a little late. Have to thank Rachy who helped me out with a little point XD_

I sighed and pushed the wooden door open. I looked down as I stepped over the threshold and realized that there was a line of sugar under the door. I resigned that it was just one of the things that I just didn't understand. Maybe that was to keep the Reapers out too. But why would they be afraid of sugar?

Outside the house it was cold especially when the wind got you even though the sun was out. The guys weren't lying about the date that was for sure. It definitely felt like November. I didn't have a coat on so I folded my arms and rubbed. My left arm wasn't much use of course.

I stopped walking about five paces from the house and looked around. There were battered and broken four-by-fours and pick-up trucks scattered at this side of the house. There was a chain link fence and behind it loads of other cars. They were piled high and all were damaged beyond repair. I realized that this guy owned a salvage yard. I turned my head a little and found a bench that was pressed against the side of the house about two meters away from the door. It was painted blue but it was flaking and the chips were in the soil below it.

I looked down and rubbed at the earth with the toe of my boot. This soil was dry and there was barely anything growing in it apart from a few out bursts of bushy grass. I was stared out at the environment for a few moments. I felt hopeless. How could anyone protect me again demons if they couldn't protect people caught in the damn cross fire?

Castiel appeared beside me, "you think your faith is gone but it never leaves you. You can only leave it"

Oh for the love of…

I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes. I really wasn't in the mood for any religious help or conversion. I took a deep breath, opened my eyes and started walking around the perimeter of the house.

I groaned inwardly as I heard his foot steps close behind me. Goddam angels. Goddam Castiel. He was sweet in a strange obsessive way but at the same time I needed distance. Even from someone who supposedly had my best interests at heart.

I came to a corner of the house and heard someone around the corner. It sounded like they were working one something. I heard metal tools and random hushed cursing. I slowed down and poked my head around the corner. It was the car from last night, the one I had been transported in, and Dean. He was working on it and had jacked it up by a foot so he could get underneath. I saw his lower half extending out and his hand clumsily searched for a wrench that was out of his reach.

I walked up to the car, bent down and picked up the wrench. It was covered in oil and stained my fingers. I put it into his open palm.

"Thanks" I heard him say, "Sammy? Can you pass me that cloth? This damn thing's leaking like hell"

I passed him the cloth and said, "It's not Sammy"

I shocked him. He tried to sit up and ended up hitting his head on the inside of the car, "Damnit!"

He crawled out from under the car and he held his dirty hand up to a bleeding scalp. He opened the back door and sat down.

"Sorry" I said and looked around for something to sort the cut out with.

"It's nothing," he looked me up and down, "how I could get a small thing like you mixed up with gigantor I don't know"

"Let me look at that" I said referring to his injury and I approached him.

He took his hand away from his head and turned it so I could get a better look. It wasn't that bad from what I could tell although the oil wasn't doing much good. The cut itself wasn't very big, it just needed cleaning. I looked around for some water. There wasn't any.

Castiel was watching the scene with a curious eye. He didn't offer to help.

I turned to him, "make yourself useful and go get some water please…and a clean towel"

He started to object, "I cannot leave-"

"It's in the house and I'm with Dean, no demons are gonna get me" I managed to persuade him to disappear. I sighed, "Its fine just a bit dirty"

He chuckled, "thanks, Sam would've said I needed stitches"

"He would?" I asked.

He nodded, "crappy surgeon though"

I laughed a little. The noise was strange to me. I hadn't heard any laughter in over a month. Apart from Alistair's but that sent chills down everyone's spine.

I remembered something, "When I was first on the couch you mentioned something about being on the rack? In hell?"

He stiffened, "yeah…Alistair tortured me in hell, let me ask…did he ever make you an offer?"

"What?" I wondered and tried to do my best with the wound until Castiel returned.

"At the end of each day he used to ask me if I would torture other souls and in return I wouldn't be tortured" he sighed, "he ever ask you anything like that?"

I shook my head, "he just used to talk and talk. Mostly about my scar and my family. He tried to hit pressure points then he mentioned some Lilith who was about to appear when Castiel bust me out"

"Wait Lilith was meant to be there too?" he suddenly became intense.

I nodded, "yeah why? Who is she?"

I heard a fluttering of wings behind me and Castiel appeared with a bottle of water and a clean towel. I took them from his hands a cleaned Dean's scalp. We didn't speak another word and when I had finished I dumped the bloody and oily towel on the floor along with the empty bottle.

"Thanks" he said.

I nodded, "sorry about the blood stains in the back"

I began to walk off again. I was heading into the car graveyard and Castiel was following me again. After a few moments I whirled round on one foot and stare angrily at him.

"Will you stop following me!" I seethed, "I don't give a damn if Heaven's commanded it or not! Leave me alone!"

I stormed off then. I was moving too fast to know if he was following me or not. I half expected him to appear in front of me and suddenly whisk me back to the house. I weaved in and out of car stacks and found a gap that I could just squeeze through. I got through it and realized that there was nowhere else to go apart from back the way I came. No one could sneak up on me. I would see the person coming and probably hear them trying to squeeze through the gap too. I sat down and took a deep breath. I closed my eyes

I had expected myself to start crying when I first got alone. I didn't though. I couldn't even squeeze out one tiny tear after everything that had happened. It was my fault too! They wouldn't be dead if I hadn't been anywhere near them and I couldn't even cry! I let out a soft moan.

"Awww" I heard a mocking and playful voice, "you can't even cry for you dear old loved ones. Your more like us than you like to think"

My eyes snapped open and I saw her. That demon from the diner standing right in front of me. She threw her head back and laughed. Her voice was musical and light. It made me feel all the more scared of her. I saw her deep ugliness rippling underneath her pale skin. How could these people walk around and not get caught? Or seen?

"It's you" I managed to choke out.

"It's me baby" she winked at me.

I realized I was trapped. I had trapped myself and told Castiel to leave me alone. Now I needed him. I was going to have some apologizing to do if I lived through this. I started to stand up. I did it slowly and kept my eyes on her at all times. I started to edge my way around to the exit and she mirrored my movements.

"Sorry about the last time we met" she smiled revealing curved teeth, "it would have been so much easier if Sammy Winchester hadn't shown up"

I ignored her. She continued to talk and I prayed for Castiel to show up.

"I mean, it would have been a lot less traumatic and you really do deserve to know the truth about your family. About why they had to die..." her voice trailed off, she was teasing me. She trying to get me interested, "Alistair would have let up eventually you know. It was only a few hours until Lilith was meant to come. Then you could make your own decision"

"Choose what?" I asked. I was trying to stall her.

"To choose what side you're on silly. The winners or the losers" she leaned in and whispered, "The losers are going to die" she distanced herself again, "I'm Casey by the way"

I gulped, "how did you find me?"

"Oh" she grinned, "that scar on your arm. The one Alistair gave you…it means we can find you anytime, anyplace…you'll never get away from us. Not really"

"We'll see about that" I bluffed.

"Now…about your decision" she started and pulled a knife from the belt at her waist and toyed with it, "it's vital you choose…right now. Heaven or Hell?"

She grinned at me again.

"I will not allow her to choose" Castiel's rasping voice answered for me. He appeared slightly to my left and was starting to stand between me and her so that she couldn't harm me. He started to extend his hand towards her.

She saw through it though and lunged at me. I was too slow and she caught me. He knife was once again at my throat.

"Not so fast my little cherub" she toyed, "she has a right to choose"

I struggled against her but she held me tighter. Castiel kept looking between me and Casey. The bitch wasn't being gentle.

"Release her" his voice was laced with hidden threats.

She giggled, "or what? You'll zap me? Like a little bug?" her voice got serious, "I don't think so"

He tried to advance on us but she twisted her arm holding onto mine and twirled me into his body. Well, threw me. Before I hit him I felt a sharp pain in my forearm. He caught me gracefully.

"Bye bye baby" she winked and vanished.

"You're bleeding" he said.

At first I didn't realize he was talking to me. I thought he was just babbling or talking to someone I hadn't noticed.

I looked up, "what?"

He stared grimly at my arm and I followed his gaze. There was blood everywhere. The bitch had sliced my arm open and hit and nicked an artery. Even as I placed my free hand over it to try and stem the bleeding I felt myself losing consciousness. I wobbled and Castiel gently lowered me to the floor.

"Stay here" he told me as my eyes fluttered open and shut. Everything was blurred. I could concentrate. He left me.


	16. Bound

**Chapter Sixteen- Bound**

_Hello! Hope you enjoy this one! On time this week XD and yeah the Enochian doesn't really mean anything. Just some random words I got off of Wiki! Sorry if it's a bit short!_

I turned my head slightly and saw the blood pooling on the dirt. It was flowing out of the gash in my arm. It was coming out way too quickly. Strangely I didn't panic. Maybe it was because I'd been through worse or maybe I knew Castiel wasn't going to let me die. Or maybe I was just in shock. All I could think about was that the dirt was making me want to sneeze. A cloud of the stuff had been kicked up when Casey threw me into Castiel and now it was starting to settle all over me. I narrowed my eyes. The bleak sun was starting to blind me.

My senses were starting to buzz. I could hear better and I smelt something like oil. It must've been from my hands, from when I helped Dean. I opened my eyes a little wider expecting to see Castiel's hand on my shoulder but he wasn't there. I was still alone.

I groaned and tried to use my hand to stem the bleeding a little more. My hand was already covered in the crimson liquid and it was hard to get a good enough grip around my forearm. It didn't work. I couldn't stop the bleeding.

Suddenly I heard fluttering nearby. It was louder than usual and I could almost pick out all the individual feathers in the blur of the noise.

Castiel's voice too was louder, "Roxanne"

He knelt beside me and I saw a brilliant light rippling underneath the surface of his skin. In his eyes there was a bright and hopeful light. Slowly it dimmed away and he returned to normal although he never acted like he was different. I wondered if I had started to hallucinate.

My voice was stronger than it should've been, "its Rox"

He held up his arm and I saw that he had the rosary from the living room in his hand. Was this what he was going to heal me with? A piece of wood and a few beads on a string.

His voice also seemed to get more human, "you need to lay still Rox"

I listened to him and did what he told me to do. He moved my hand away from the wound and examined it. He didn't touch or poke it. He just looked at it for a few moments.

Then he got a knife from somewhere and cut his own palm open. The blood dripped onto the soil like anyone else's. There wasn't anything special about an angel's blood. Well it didn't look like it.

He held the wooden cross in his hand until it was covered in his blood then moved it to where my blood was pouring out of me. He pressed it on the wound with his own injured hand.

He closed his eyes and muttered some words that sounded like Latin, "Or veh pa un tal na med don"

There was a flash of soft light and he removed the rosary but continued to speak, "Gal fam ur gah"

There was a warm sensation in my forearm. I looked down and saw that he had healed me. He opened his eyes and stood up. He didn't extend an arm to help me up but I managed on my own.

I looked at him curiously, "thanks"

"It was my duty" was all he said.

"Uh-huh" I rubbed my arm and crawled out of the hiding place. Not much time had passed and it must've been twelve at the latest. I heard his foot steps behind me, "what was that?"

"What?" he was confused.

"Those words, that flash of light" I started and tacked on the end, "before you healed me"

He pursed his lips and looked at the floor. He was thinking of the best way to explain. Finally he lifted his head and spoke, "Those words were not Latin they were Enochian."

What the hell is Enochian?

He must've seen the confusion on my face because he explained further, "it is the language of Heaven and is used by angels and sometimes older demons."

"Okay…what did you do?" I asked.

Or say. I should've said that.

He sighed, "You see that mark on your arm?"

I looked down and saw the scar tissue curving in three different directions. Alistair had branded me when he had done the torturing. It was small in size and I remembered Casey referring to it as well.

He carried on, "Alistair used that symbol so that demons could always find you. No matter where you go. No Enochian words or even the power of Heaven can remove it."

Huh…I had always assumed Heaven could do anything they wanted. God created everything so why couldn't he remove or destroy it? I shook my head.

"So there's nothing you can do" I jumped to a conclusion, I started to walk back towards the house through the scrap yard. He followed me like he always did.

"No" he corrected me, "I bonded our blood together so that I would always know where you are. I can sense demons, humans or any other angels that are around you"

I nodded, "so that's like a tracking device"

He ignored me, "but it is only effective if you are to wear the object that has been used"

I stopped walking when I didn't hear his footsteps behind me anymore. He had stopped. I turned to see what he was doing or where he had gone. He was just stood there and I saw some beads dangling from his right hand.

Castiel lifted the rosary and let the cross fall. It hung in the air about fifteen centimeters down from his hand. I could see from this distance away that the fine wood that Jesus and his crucifix had been carved out of was covered in blood stains.

He extended his arm out to me, "you should wear it"

I raised my eyebrows at him. I had never been the religious type. I changed the subject, "what do you mean by our blood is bonded?"

He looked slightly uncomfortable, "it was the only way to ensure your safety. Our blood is now connected. We are connected."

I nodded, "what does that mean? That we're like brother and sister or something?"

"No, it means that" he furrowed his brow, "we have a way of communicating to and with each other. It also means that I can feel your emotions"

"Excuse me?" I was alarmed.

He tilted his head to one side, "I can feel the guilt and grief you feel at your Uncle's death and your loss of hope when Robert died. I also sense your confusion and inward turning hate"

I gulped, "you saying this'll get stronger if I wear that?"

He nodded, "you hate yourself because you believe it's your fault they died. Your parents, Anastasia, Sarah, Robert and Jay"

I lost it and told him, "don't you ever try to read me ever again!"

I turned around and stormed off back to the house. Tears fell down my face and I heard his calm steps easily keeping up behind me. I wiped the salty tears away as I stepped through the gate in the chain link fence. I could hear Dean still working on his car around the corner. I went straight into the kitchen and purposefully shut the door in Castiel's face.

I grabbed a glass from the side and turned the tap on filling it with water. I drank greedily from it and ran my hands through my hair.

"I'm sorry" I heard the guilty voice of an angel say, "I didn't know you would react in this way. Emotions are new to me"

I sighed and turned to face him, "you're older than any of us, how can emotions be new to you?"

His eyes were glistening with tears. They weren't from his own emotions. They were caused from him seeing and feeling mine, "angels are not allowed to feel. If we adopt emotions then we begin to doubt. Doubt is unforgivable."

I thought for a moment, "Aren't you taking a big risk then?"

"My superiors commanded me to protect you. I shall do whatever it takes" he avoided my question.

Part of me knew that he realized how much of a risk he was taking. But he still did it. I supposed this guy was starting to spend too much time with humans.


	17. Coping

**Chapter Seventeen- Coping**

_Hey! Hope you enjoy this! _

I bit my lower lip. Castiel looked down at his feet. This guy had taken a risk for me. He was doing it to protect me and he'd only ever spoken to me today. He was so generous and stupid. It humbled me.

"Sorry" I whispered, "I shouldn't have shouted at you, you mean well"

He looked up, "you're sad"

I nodded. Tears pricked at my eyes, "I'm messed up too…I'm going to get some sleep"

The rosary was still in his hand. I walked up to him and took it from his clasped hand. I half heartedly put it around my neck. He stared into space for a moment. I rubbed my eyes as I walked past him into the living room. I instinctly knew where to go. Turn left before the door, walk up the stairs and go to the third room on the right. I felt his eyes on my back as I walked away. My head was low as I wandered to the spare room.

When I got there I closed the door softly behind me. I pressed my back against the wood and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. I felt weighed down. With guilt, sadness, grief, gratefulness. Probably with a thousand other emotions too. My shoulders were low and I looked briefly up at the ceiling. It was painted white and the coving was chipped so I could see the dark wood underneath.

I looked straight ahead. The walls were wallpapered. The top half was plain white and the bottom half had thin pale green stripes spaced out with white columns. The bed was made of iron and about two feet off the floor. There was a strange marking underneath on the dark floor. I guessed it was to keep something in or something out. The mattress was thin and worn and it was covered in pale green sheets. There was a window to my right. It had iron fixtures and the glass was old.

I approached it. The panes were thicker at the bottom than the top. I noticed that the top half could be tilted and opened to let fresh air into the room. There was another line of sugar tracing the bottom of the window sill. I looked out of it and noticed that this wall faced the drive up to the house and the front lawn. Or what would have been the front lawn many years ago. Now it was just a patch of soil in front of the house covered in spare parts with a car parked diagonally across it.

Underneath the window there was a radiator. It had been painted white and it was starting to flake. The pipes leading to it were rusted. I placed my hand against it. A welcoming warmth eased off it to sooth my hand. It still worked. When I listened carefully I could hear the faint gurgling of water in the pipes.

I moved away to the bed. I was at its head and one hand traced along the spirals of metal at the corner. This bed was old. It was a single so it only took up a small part of the room. On the other side of the bed there was a dark wood wardrobe. The handles were like the spirals on the corners of the bed posts. On the lower half there were two deep draws instead of a separate chest of drawers for me to keep my underwear in. I saw that down next to it there were the plastic bags that housed the clothes that the boys had gone out and bought for me. I really owed those guys one.

I sat down on the bed. It was soft under me and made the tiredness in me rise. My chest felt heavy. It began to creep up on me. The fear and guilt and sadness. I started to heave with sobs. My chest started to rise and fall with ragged breath that I needed and faint wails escaped from my throat. Tears fell freely down my cheeks. I pulled my knees up to my chest and lay down on the bed.

Whenever I closed my eyes I had visions of Alistair coming to grab me again. Or of seeing the twisted face of Casey leering before me. Sometimes I saw Uncle Jay's eyes staring up unseeing with the red ribbon of blood on his neck or Robby's mangled body lying on my lawn.

How could I ever get these images out of my mind? Would they ever leave me? Or would I be forced to see them every time I blinked? I tried not to think of that as the crying continued. I missed having someone to hug me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. Maybe it was never going to be okay.

The rosary felt warm against my chest and offered me a little comfort. Slowly the tears faded away and I was able to sleep. Some part of me recognized the figure in the corner of the room watching me. The dark haired sentinel who was ordered to watch and protect me.

When I woke up I was still in the fetal position. My face was marked with stains and tear trails. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and sat up cautiously. The room was dark. Castiel was stood in the vacant corner of the room close to the door.

His shoulders were hunched over as if he was carrying some great weight upon his back. His neck was bent and his face portrayed a very sad and lonely man. I wondered what was the matter with him until I felt the cross resting against my chest. I looked down at it and fumbled with it quietly. There was a strange heat radiating out from it. I hated imagined it. I looked back at him and gave him a weak smile.

"How do you cope?" he asked me suddenly. He was talking about the burden of emotions. The weight and strain that they cause people to feel.

I sat up and let my knees fall away from my chest, "I don't know. I guess it's something that has to be learnt"

He nodded slowly, "but how do you go on?"

"Nothing can ever be solved by locking yourself away from the world" I said absently. I turned my head to the window. No light was shining through the glass and I realized I had been asleep for hours. I looked back down at the rosary and I started to remove it, "here, take it back"

He looked shocked, "no, it is to help me protect you"

"You're miserable" I stated, "take it and you'll stop feeling like I do"

He shook his head but otherwise remained silent. I pulled myself off of the bed and went to the door. I wondered how late it was and whether the others were still awake or not. I turned the brass knob and entered the hallway. Castiel was following me again. But now the footsteps were much heavier behind me.

I noticed that the hall lights were on and I heard distant signs of movement below us. They were still awake. The bathroom door was ajar. I realized that my bladder was full. I entered quickly and closed the door. Castiel stayed outside. The rosary was helping him realize when I wanted him around and when I would've killed him for even suggesting being in the same room. Also what was going to attack me on the toilet?

After a few moments I opened the door and saw him leaning against the wall nearby. I gave him another weak smile. He looked physically drained. Did he ever need to sleep? Or eat for that matter?

I walked down the stairs. I entered the living room slash library and heard the three men talking in the kitchen. I pushed open the door and they all fell quiet. I lowered my head and got a drink of water.

Bobby sighed, "Rox?"

I turned to face him. I noticed Castiel was nearby. I answered, "Yeah?"

"You got any idea why they'd want you?" he was sat down at the head of the table. Dean and Sam were sat opposite each other. They still hadn't made up. I guessed that he really didn't like this Ruby.

I shook my head, "All Alistair mentioned was my scar"

"What scar?" Sam asked.

I rolled up my shirt a little so they could all see the piece of tissue, I pointed to it just to make sure, "that one"

They nodded. They had been talking about why the demons had wanted me and why an agent of heaven had been ordered to save me.

Dean spoke next, "you got anything suspicious around your family? Maybe weird accidents or people disappearing?"

I nodded, "weird accidents have been going on since I was born but no one's ever disappeared"

He turned to Castiel expectantly.

He sighed, "Her parents died in a fire when she was six months old, her friend died when she was seventeen, there was a fire the day before she turned twenty two and she swerved off of the road killing one of her friends"

They were alarmed and about to speak.

"I saw someone in the middle of the road" I chipped in, "I swear he had yellow eyes"

"What?"

"Yellow eyes?"

"A fire!"

I nodded, "why?"

"Kid" Bobby started, "I think you better sit down"

I gulped. I wasn't going to like what was coming up.


	18. Azazal

**Chapter Eighteen- Azazal**

_Hey! I know this is a day late but oh well XD Enjoy!_

I lowered myself cautiously onto the seat that Dean kicked out for me. I sat at the other end of the table. Sam was to my left, Dean to my right and Bobby straight ahead. Castiel was leaning against the wall close to the back door. His brow was furrowed and he kept rubbing the back of his neck. He was anxious yet relaxed enough to show he was. I fumbled with the rosary without even realizing and half heartedly wondered about him. What were his inner thoughts? How had he gone this long without feeling? I found myself hoping he would feel better soon. It was my feelings that made him feel like this, if I worked through it and didn't burry it then it wouldn't be so bad on him. Or me.

He looked up at me then. The wood in my hand started to hum slightly. I smiled at him. He didn't return it.

Bobby grabbed my attention, "Rox, tell us about the fire when you were a baby"

"Erm" I stumbled and had to think, "I was in the nursery and there was a fire. My Mom and Dad died and I don't know how I got out but I was found near the bushes at the bottom of the front lawn. Well that's what it says in the report. Also said it was electrical but I never bought it."

"You were six months exactly when this happened?" Sam asked.

I shrugged and did some quick calculations in my head, "yeah. 22nd October"

"Nineteen-eighty-three" Castiel finished for me.

They all exchanged nervous glances. They knew something.

"What?" I demanded. My voice was much sterner than I had intended it to be.

"Did the fire start in the nursery?" Sam asked.

I nodded.

"You sure?" he looked like he was about to get up and start pacing around the room.

"Yeah! I'm damn sure" I almost shouted, "why? Tell me"

Dean rubbed his eyes, "right…this happened to us. Sammy was in the nursery and there was a fire. Our Mom died. This happened on the night he was six months"

I gulped, "what else?"

"A demon caused it. Azazal. He had yellow eyes and he was a slimy sonofabitch too" he told me, "he also bled into his mouth, gave him freaky powers"

"You think this happened to me?" I asked dumbfounded.

"We know it happened to you" Castiel added.

I sat back and ran my hand through my hair. So I was part demon? Well that explained why they didn't kill me straight away but…but none of this had happened to Sam had it?

My thought was broken off when Bobby asked me another question, "what happened then?"

"I went to live with Uncle Jay. Nothing happened until I was like seventeen" then something came to me, "wait…when I was about eight I remember asking Jay about them. He said it was my fault and his eyes became yellow. I ran upstairs and the next morning he couldn't remember a thing. I thought I'd imagined it"

Sam gave Dean a concerned look and turned to me, "that sounds like him. Messing with you. Your uncle was possessed"

I nodded slowly.

"What happened when you were seventeen?" Dean asked.

Tears pricked at my eyes as I remembered, "Anastasia, she was my best friend and it was her birthday. A house party while her parents were away. She went to get me a drink. She fell down the stairs and broke her neck."

I wiped away the water leaking from my eyes. Castiel was watching me. I glanced up and he looked defeated in a way. He felt sorry for me, I knew it.

"You see him?" Bobby asked me half heartedly.

I nodded, "her eyes were yellow before they died"

"You see a cloud of smoke or anything?" Dean wondered.

I shook my head, "why?"

He took a swig of his beer, "when demons leave a body they look like smoke until they find another poor bastard to possess"

"There anything else?" Bobby looked at me.

I shrugged, "a fire at the practice dinner before my wedding. Day before I was twenty two. Robby carried me out and a fire fighter took over. I passed out and then in the hospital I woke up to hear him screaming and shouting. I ran to him and found out one of the doctors had told him I was dead. Apparently he couldn't remember though"

Sam was messing with a bottle cap, "then what?"

"I left him" my jaw was set, "a while later I went on a road trip with Sarah. It was at night and there was this guy just stood in the middle of the road. He wouldn't move and we were going too fast. I swerved and we ended up in the woods. She was dead when I came round"

I wasn't crying. I had no tears left. Not anymore. I didn't look at anyone. Instead I looked at my hands sitting in my lap. I tried not to think.

I heard Dean's voice, "yet she didn't get kidnapped like you"

"Good job or she'd be dead" Sam answered, "but that means he had other ideas for her"

"Cas?" it was Dean again, "you know why?"

"No" was his only answer, "she is different"

"Rox" Sam called me. I looked up sorrowfully and he carried on, "stuff like that happened to me to. My girlfriend died the same way as my Mom. I got kidnapped with a load of other kids who'd gone through the same thing as us. Long story short he wanted us to kill each other until the winner opened this gate to hell"

I didn't know how to react. They'd told me my entire life had been infested with Azazal. Over and over. He'd killed or tried to kill the people I loved most. For what? No one knew. It felt good to have it all explained away and to know I wasn't the only one who had this happened to them.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door at the front of the house.

"I'll get it" Sam said and he went to answer it.

Castiel stiffened and became wary. He straightened up. He looked like a statue with a stern face. I wondered what was going to happen next. Bobby's cell started to ring and he went out back to answer it.

"They didn't have a chance did they?" my voice was quiet.

Dean shook his head, "no"

I nodded and looked at him, "how did you end up in hell?"

He wore a sad smile, "you know when Sammy said he was kidnapped? He died and I sold my soul so he could live again. Dealt with a crossroads demon. I had a year and at the end of it a hellhound came to get me"

"You did what any good brother would do" I told him.

He almost laughed, "I guess"

"How'd you get out?" just because I didn't know much about the hunting world I guessed that souls and people didn't just walk out of hell.

He threw a glance over his shoulder to the angel and turned back to me. He lifted his sleeve up and there was a faint burn. It was nearly healed and it looked like a hand.

I whistled, "Big hands"

My childish sense of humor came out and I laughed a little. Castiel looked at me curiously. I wasn't sure if he was wondering why I was laughing or maybe what possessed me to have such a thought.

There was a creak behind me. Someone was opening the door. We turned around to see a woman stood there. She was short with dark long hair. Then I saw it. Underneath there was the twisting mass. She was a demon. I shot up out of my seat and backed away until I felt the kitchen units at my back. Castiel was moving protectively forward between me and her. Did Sam have any idea what he'd let into the house?

Dean was stood up. He was shocked by how quickly we had both moved. Sam came in behind her and shared the same look of his brother.

"Told you it wouldn't be welcoming" she turned and said to Sam.

"What are you doing here demon?" Castiel asked. He was ready to destroy her. Why hadn't he done it yet?

She walked into the room, "my name's Ruby. I'm a friend of Sam and Dean's"

Dean scoffed, "yeah friend…"

She shot him a silencing glance, "love you too. Look I'm not like Casey. I'm not going to kill her"

My eyes narrowed. There was something not right about her. Something was off. I couldn't pick up what it was but there was _something_. "Okay," I said and turned to Castiel, "Cas, you're only protecting me against things that want me dead right?"

He nodded. A thought hit me. I'd called him Cas. Not Castiel. I focused.

"She doesn't want to kill me" I stated and he moved away. I sat back down at the table. He was uneasy. His arms were folded and he kept his eyes on her.

"I'm glad one of you has a brain" she commented and sat down on the other side of the table to me. Both of the guys chose to stay standing. "So you're the rumored atom bomb"

"What?" I glared, "what are you talking about?"

She smiled and turned to Sam, "told you it was good information"


	19. Prophecy

**Chapter Nineteen- Prophecy**

_Hey! Sorry that I haven't updated in a long time! Thank you to everyone who reads and reviews this story and thank you to Rachy who helped me out on a point. Any questions about anything in this chapter and just ask me in the comments._

"What are you talking about?" I repeated myself. My eyes danced between their faces moving from one set of eyes to another. Sam, Dean, Ruby then I turned slightly and gazed up at Cas. He returned my stare. He seemed worried more than anything else. He didn't know what was going on either.

Ruby looked down at a beer on the table before she spoke. She looked genuinely concerned and interested but there was an amusement in her eyes, "There's a lot of rumors about you, even the angels don't know if they're true or not"

She eyed Cas with a smirk. The fact that he had no idea what I was made her feel like she had one over on him. I felt the rosary get warmer and I also felt his presence behind me slowly start to expand. From what I could tell this was what he was like when he was angry.

"Why should we trust you exactly?" Dean shot the words at her aggressively. His arms were crossed and he was leaning against one of the walls.

She rolled her eyes, "I'm here to help remember?"

"Oh yeah because you can 'remember what it's like'" he reeled off the words. I could sense the quotation marks when the tone of his voice changed. They'd met before then. Quite a few times.

I sighed loudly and asked calmly, "what rumors?"

The last thing everyone needed was Dean and Ruby going head-to-head in the middle of Bobby's kitchen. Ruby would be the one to die if Sam couldn't sort them out in time but not before Dean took some serious damage that might need hospital attention.

The demon turned back to me and looked me fully in the eye, "you know about Azazal right?"

I nodded, "only recently but yeah"

"He was the big shot about two years ago and he went around bleeding in kids mouths. No one exactly knows why but a few people have ideas about why you weren't kidnapped along with them" she told me what I already knew.

Dean was getting impatient, "just get to the damn point"

She ignored him, "One is that Azazal liked you a lot. You're the only one whose life has been touched directly by him after the nursery stuff. The rest had other demons just doing what he said. He wouldn't let any of the others touch you so they suppose that he didn't want you to die, maybe even wanted to keep you for himself"

I screwed up my face. It was disgusting. Just the very thought of it sent shivers down my spine but it explained why he'd temporarily sent Robby insane.

"Great, I've been stalked by a hellbitch my entire life" I muttered into the air so quietly that no one could have heard it. I ran a hand through my hair and started to wonder what was talking Bobby so long.

"But any interest in her would've died when he did" Sam argued against the point.

Ruby shrugged, "not if Lilith thought she was like you"

I turned away from them and looked out of the window. I could see Bobby pacing under the outside security light with the cell phone practically glued to his ear. Something was wrong. Abruptly he stopped pacing and stopped talking. He was listening hard to what the person on the other end of the line was saying.

My attention was drawn back to the room when I realized that they were still talking about it. Dean was asking who she got it off whereas Sam was saying that the rumor wouldn't work out and Cas was just being his normal self. All the talking was annoying me. They were nearly shouting trying to get their point across. It was giving me a head ache. Why the hell couldn't they just talk?

A voice was suddenly booming around the room, "QUIET!"

The voice was deep and everyone was silent instantly. When the sound died out I realized I had a faint ringing in my ears and by the looks of it so did everyone else. I looked up and saw Cas with narrowed eyes. He was the one who shouted! I wondered just how much he could sense about me through this damn rosary.

I blinked several times to gather my thoughts, "what other rumors are there?"

Ruby widened her eyes then returned to normal. The power behind his voice had completely thrown her and it took her a few minutes before she could speak again, "erm, there are a few others. One is that you're meant to be the person that's going to raise Lucifer or be the main weapon in his war on mankind. All that sorta thing"

Dean was rubbing the back of his neck, "no wonder the angels wanna keep an eye on you"

I laughed sharply. It made more sense than the last rumor about me. Although if the angels really believed it then wouldn't they have just killed me from the start?

"The next one is?" Sam wondered aloud.

"She's going to destroy the planet" she said simply.

"What?" I asked, "I can't destroy the planet"

She shrugged her shoulders, "they think you have some special powers and is going to nuke the planet. They're not saying who you'd work for; all they're saying is that it's going to happen. They also say that you can kill the devil himself"

"That explains why the holy-fliers haven't killed me just yet" I said half heartedly, "why destroy the only thing that can kill the worst possible creature? I'd be they're damn back up plan"

The two brothers scoffed and I felt Cas flinch beside me. I kept forgetting he was one of them. If it was even possible to forget that fact.

Ruby nodded, "it'd also explain why Casey keeps attacking you. They get you on their side then the angels don't stand a chance"

I nodded, "any others?"

"Yeah they say that…" She thought for a moment in her head as if she was searching for the right words, "that something went wrong"

"You what?" I demanded.

"This crossroads demon in New Orleans told me that something went wrong in the nursery. It didn't work the way it should've and something just picked you up and took you out and dumped you in the bushes" she told us.

"What do you mean something went wrong in the nursery?" I asked.

"I don't know" she said defensively then carried on, "said that there was something just as powerful interrupted the process"

I threw my hands up in the air hopelessly, "and why is everyone so damn interested now?"

She almost whispered her next set of words, "Because your more powerful than anything seen before…they say you're a half breed"

I couldn't help but gulp. Half breed with what? Human and demon? Human and something else? Or just demon along with something unknown? I had no idea what I was any more.

"A-a-a h-half breed?" I choked the words out then I spluttered, "between what?"

She shrugged dramatically. I sensed that she was almost putting it all on, like it was all an act to her. "I don't know but they say that you're stronger than anything. Ever"

I shook my head, "no, no, no! I'm just a damn waitress with a freaking scar!"

Her face dropped, "Scar? In the shape of a-"

"Pair of wings, yeah" I almost spat the words at her. I was now stood up and pacing around the kitchen.

Ruby didn't say anything. Instead she just kept looking at the table. It looked like she was in shock.

"Ruby?" Sam asked.

"What the hell do you know?" Dean shouted at her.

She didn't respond. At least she didn't until Dean went up and grabbed her shoulder. She turned around and stared up at him. Her face was pale.

"You know something, don't you?" I advanced on her, "what do you know?"

She gulped, "in Revelations. It's a prophecy. There's a verse 'Thou shalt know thy savior or thy killer for they shall bear the mark of an angel-'"

Cas finished off the rest as if from memory, "They are not an angel by Heaven's power however or a demon cast out from Gehenna at the Devil's will and are equally not a creature from mud or bone but they are a being stemming from a previously unthinkable origin"

"That's not in Revelations" I stated and I refused to even comprehend the rest of the words.

Ruby scoffed, "not the King James version but it's in there"

"No" I just said it, "your insane, whoever told you that is lying"

I was going hysterical I could tell. I was going to say something that I was going to regret. I could almost sense it.

"A demon lying? Sure" Sam told me, "but Cas? He knows his stuff"

I shook my head, "No! Hell if demons are so good at lying then isn't it possible that she's lying her skanky ass off and Cas got it wrong? I mean come on he's not really the shiniest set of wings in the Choir, is he?"

I felt the heat in the rosary disappear and Cas almost shrink next to me. I didn't get to spend much attention on him though.

"I don't like you much either mutt" Ruby started. She stood up and even though she was shorter than me I still felt a little intimidated, "at least I'm not a damn half-breed that should've been culled at six months. You should've died along with your parents"

"Get out" I heard Dean growl at her, "get out now!"

I saw his hand move to a knife that had been lying carelessly on the table. Ruby recoiled instantly. My vision started to blur as my eyes welled up with tears for the second time that day.

"Don't worry I'm going" she spat at us.

Sam saw her out. Hot tears were streaming down my cheeks. I didn't know if I was angry or upset. All I knew was that I needed to be alone. I stormed off upstairs. In the background I heard the door open and close.

Bobby's voice was faint, "what the hell happened?"

I slammed the bedroom door behind me.


	20. Respect

**Chapter Twenty- Respect**

_Hey! Hope you enjoy this one! Chapters should be getting more regular now _

I slid down the back of the door and groaned. I wiped away the tears and rubbed at my tired eyes. I glanced up at the window and noticed the sugar. At least that bitch couldn't sneak up on me in here. It was dark outside and I saw the distant stars sparkling. They were beautiful. So much in this world was beautiful yet I hadn't noticed before. I wondered if it took several near death experiences to get everyone to appreciate it.

The sound of wings fluttering nearby interrupted my thought. I kept looking at the stars though. I knew it was Cas who had appeared. He was quiet. Abnormally quiet. I had upset him.

After a little while I turned to him. He was sat on the bed with his head down and fumbling with his hands. He wasn't even looking at me. There was no heat coming from the rosary. He had distanced himself.

"Cas?" he reluctantly looked up at me. I took a deep breath, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that"

He didn't say anything. He didn't even make any response to show that he'd heard me. He just went back to what he had been doing before. I'd forgotten how forcefully I'd said those words and I'd also forgotten that he could feel what I was feeling. I had been angry when I'd said those words and now I was sorry.

"I am sorry" I whispered. It was nearly breaking my heart to see him like this. I knew it shouldn't do but it still broke at the sight of those puppy dog eyes.

He gave me a sad glance.

Before I could say anything else there was a knock on the door behind me. I nearly jumped out of my skin. I hastily stood up and turned the door handle. I only opened it three inches, enough to see who was at the door and ask what they wanted.

Bobby was stood looking at me, "I heard what tha' hellbitch said, she's gone and she ain't getting back in this house again"

I nodded and opened the door fully. If she was gone then I didn't have to be that careful, right? I didn't get chance to speak.

Bobby gave one quick and curious glance to Cas then carried on with what he had to say, "I was talking to some friends of mine. Ellen and Jo. They caught a demon down in Arizona and they mentioned you"

"What?" I asked, my throat was starting to dry up.

"They've set it up with a devil's trap but when they tried to question it about Lilith it kept talking about you. Said somethin' about what actually happened in the nursery" he told me.

Dean appeared at the top of the stairs, "we're set to go"

"So the boys are gonna go join 'em and find out what they can" Bobby finished.

I gulped and nodded.

"We'll be back in three days" Sam shouted up to us.

Dean gave me a weak smile and disappeared. I heard the door close and the engine start up. Before long the Impala had rolled away on another hunt.

I said to Bobby, "I want to learn everything there is to know about hunting" afterwards I looked over my shoulder to Cas, "and I want to know everything you do about that prophecy"

"Slow down girl" the old man warned me, "you've been through a hell of a shock, don't you think you should take a break? Adjust to it all?"

I shook my head, "the demons aren't taking a break and neither is the apocalypse"

He looked worriedly at me but nodded nonetheless.

I was filled with a new determination. I slept restlessly that night with nightmares plaguing me.

* * *

The next day I woke up early and went down into the kitchen where Bobby was busy making breakfast. Cas still wasn't speaking to me. We ate quickly and that morning he taught me how to aim and fire a gun. Several different types of gun in fact. From automatics to semi-automatic right up to the old ones. Ghost's hated salt so rock salt was squashed into shot gun shells ready to be fired at them. They also hate iron which demons also hate along with the salt. Or that's what I gathered from him. Other supernatural creatures were vulnerable to silver, iron rounds and some had to be staked to their graves to stop them. Vampires had to have their heads chopped off. Apparently it was also preferable to cremate remains and to destroy a spirit you had to salt and burn the body or any other genetic material left behind.

When it got to about two o'clock in the afternoon I took a swig from my bottle of water, "so it doesn't have to be anything big? Or could just be a damn hair somewhere?"

Bobby nodded, "sometimes there are other ways of getting rid of 'em"

I sighed and looked over to where Cas was still moping. He was stood out by the chain link fence and was looking into the air between us. It was starting to piss me off.

"Anyway" I ignored him, "what's with the lines of sugar everywhere?"

"Sugar?" I'd puzzled him, "where?"

"Well around the doors and windows mainly" I said after another sip.

He chuckled lightly, "that's salt. To keep the demons out"

"Then how the hell to Ruby get in?" I asked.

"Sam woulda broken the line for her" he said solemnly.

I shook my head. I really did hate demons. I looked over to Cas again. He had to go everywhere I did. I came up with a way to talk to him.

"I'm gonna go inside for another drink" I told Bobby.

* * *

A few moments later I was stood in the kitchen with the angel. He was leaning against the wall looking depressed. I spun around on one foot to face him.

"Okay, I can understand one day or a few hours of not talking to me and being a general pain in the ass but Goddam it!" I saw him flinch, "grow up! People say things that they regret and they apologise for it. generally speaking people get forgiven after making a mistake and apologizing for it but you don't. what makes you so freaking special? You're down here with us humans now so grow a pair!"

He looked at me with wide and shocked eyes. He replied fairly quickly, "I should remind you that I saved you from Alistair, I can take you right back to him. Next time talk to me with some respect"

"That was respectful" I spat back at him and advanced on him, "and why don't you just go ahead and do it?"

We were merely inches apart. We gave each other steely glares. The rosary was almost on fire with emotion. We were both angry. I knew he could kill me in a second but it didn't stop me.

"Go on" I taunted him, "show me you're worst"

He continued to glare at me with a tight jaw. I noticed that his eyes were bluer than anything I'd ever seen before. I saw the light glittering and swarming underneath them.

There was a cocky laugh coming from behind us, "go on Castiel, show the pretty little mud-monkey just how wrathful you can be"

We both turned to glare at Uriel. He was stood with his hands in the pockets of the suit he was wearing looking proud and arrogant.

"What do you want Uriel?" Cas asked him and his jaw line relaxed a little.

"Oh nothing" he smiled, "I heard that a demon attacked her and another was allowed near her"

I rolled my eyes, "both have been more useful than you"

He shot me a death glare then his steady gaze returned to Cas.

"That is true but she is still alive" he told him.

I wandered off to the sink where I got a glass of water and tried to ignore their conversation.

Uriel changed his tone of voice, "I see you have bound yourself to her"

"To perform my duties" he justified.

"Hmmm I see" he said, "a doorway to doubt my brother"

"Oh yeah" I started, "I forgot you guys were tools"

Suddenly Uriel was next to me, "Castiel may put up with you but I am warning you when the time comes I will enjoy killing you"

I gave him a smile, "until then let's be friends"

He disappeared before my eyes. I guessed he didn't take well to sarcasm. I blinked several times and turned back to Cas. We had both calmed down. He had a smile sitting on his face.

"You shouldn't antagonize him like that" he told me.

I shrugged and smiled, "He shouldn't hand out death threats"

"What's taking you so long?" Bobby asked as he opened the door.

I shook my head, "Uriel dropped by"

"Huh" was all he had to say, "you ready to work through that prophecy now?"

I nodded.

He started to walk off into the living room then to where the front door was. But he didn't go there. My brow furrowed as I tried to figure out where he'd gone.

I heard his voice a few seconds later, "you comin' or not?"

I put my glass down and set off in the same direction.


	21. Decode

**Chapter Twenty One- Decode**

_Thank you for everyone whose read or reviewed :) You guys mean so much to me! And I would like to thank Rachy for helping me out with the pop culture reference! Enjoy!_

I followed the sound of Bobby Singer's voice through to the bottom of the stairs. I looked around again, was he upstairs? I glanced over to a much more lively Cas. He was stood nearby. He merely shrugged.

"Erm," I said quietly at first not knowing which direction to shout, "Bobby? Where are you?"

The reply was muffled and came from under the stairs, "Down 'ere"

I had to stop myself asking down where. There had to be a basement or something. But where was the damn door? I retraced my steps in to the living room and actually looked at the paneled stairs. There wasn't anything really obvious like a door handle, hinges or even a damn crack in the wood work. Then I realized that I couldn't see the entire wall from where I was stood. I took a few steps closer and peered to my right and that's where I saw it. A gold handle protruding out of the woodwork and a subtle crack.

I turned the handle downwards and pulled it towards me. What was in front of me was a dark three by four foot space then a breeze block wall. Part of me was starting to wonder if Bobby was some kinda magician.

I sighed and took a step backwards. I felt my heel press against something and I backed into something like a padded wall. A frantic yell nearly escaped my throat as I swiveled on one foot to face whatever had appeared but my arms started to windmill and my breath left my body too quickly for me to contemplate. I tried to grab on to a wall or something to stop myself falling into what I only knew as a dark pit. I dimly acknowledged the presence of Cas somewhere around me.

A hand firmly clasped on to my arm and yanked my forwards and I hit that padded wall again. I could catch my breath again and think. My arm was still being held by whoever had grabbed me. I looked up and realized that the padded wall was in fact the angel with the Fawn eyes. He was looking down at me confused. He had obviously been able to see the stairs in the dark, I hadn't even looked that way.

Then I noticed how close we were. He was still holding me close to his own body. I could smell the old cologne that still hung to his clothes and his neck after god knows how long.

I gulped, "Cas?"

"Yes?" he answered matter of factly completely unaware of how…inappropriate this was.

"Let go" I almost whispered the words. He wasn't hurting me or anything, it was just weird. I could feel it in his skin. He didn't feel like a normal person, he was way too warm. I was half expecting him to break out into a fever at any moment.

He released me instantly and progressed to looking embarrassed, "sorry, you should pay more attention to your surroundings"

I turned around and started to walk down the stairs. I wanted to tell him to not stand so close behind people but I bit my tongue instead. There was a light at the bottom of the stairs. It came from a grimy light bulb that was hanging by a thin white cable. It illuminated several work benches full of strange and domestic things. From hammers and screwdrivers to iron pokers with strange symbols etched into them.

"Bobby?" I called out when my left foot hit the concrete floor instead of wood. If this was all there was to the cellar then he couldn't be very far away.

Now I was paying more attention to my body guard's position. He was often directly behind me but knowing him he'd move and scare me half to death.

Bobby's voice came from behind us, "over 'ere"

I turned to my left and saw the corridor and at the end of it another open door, "ah"

The corridor wasn't very long and the walls were pretty bare apart from random symbols on the raw brick. My boots echoed on the concrete as I walked closer to the iron door. I noticed a circle on the floor just before the door with random marking inside it. I warily stepped over it and entered the room.

It was large and round with a fan situated at the top to keep the air circulated. Cabinets and desks were pushed up against the walls. There was one camp bed and a few chairs dotted around the room. Below my feet were random white lines. I guessed they made up another symbol of some sort.

Bobby was sat at a desk looking through an old dusty tome. I noticed the calendar above it, a model modeling a bathing suit on a beach. I walked over to the camp bed and sat down. I noticed that Cas chose to stay near the door. He looked as bemused as I felt. His eyes didn't keep still in this place.

I glanced over to the old man, "so…this place is what exactly?"

He looked up from the book he was studying, "it's my panic room"

"Panic room?" the question fell from my tongue skeptically, "I thought they weren't meant to be so obvious"

The look on his face said it all, "Girl, those walls are iron and coated in salt. Completely ghost and demon proof. That symbol just before the door is a devil's trap. A demon walks into that they can't get out. None of that can be subtle"

I raised my eyebrows and looked up the walls, "how'd you even do it?"

"I had a free day" he told me.

"fair enough" I said quietly then asked a little louder, "what's that book?"

"Revelations" he said simply.

It wasn't in a bible of any sort and he had to mean the last book of the New Testament right? I mean I was never a bible basher and I never went to Sunday school but everyone knew about

Revelations. The book Bobby Singer had in front of him was a large ancient looking tome. It seemed more likely to contain a witches spells than the holy word of a prophet.

I gave a quick glance to Bambi whose eyes had settled down, "you sure _that's_ Revelations?"

"this is the more arcane version" his heavy voice said, "and the more realistic"

This confused me even more, "then what's in the in-print version?"

"it's what Twilight is to Interview with a Vampire" Bobby told me rather angrily. Not that I could blame him.

I whistled, "never had you down as a lets-read-for-fun kinda person"

He gave me a glare, "in my spare time," his head returned to the page, "found it"

I almost jumped up out of my seat and leaned over his shoulder to see the page. Not that it was very productive, it was all in Latin so I couldn't understand any of it.

"you can read that?" I asked an obvious question.

He nodded vigorously and read out the section in English, "Thou shalt know thy savior or thy killer for they shall bear the mark of an angel, they are not an angel by Heaven's power however or a demon cast out from Gehenna at the Devil's will and are equally not a creature from mud or bone but they are a being stemming from a previously unthinkable origin"

"so, 'mark of an angel' what does that mean exactly?" I asked.

Cas was the first to answer, "someone who has been touched either physically or spiritually by an angel of the Lord"

An idea sprung to mind, "wasn't Dean dragged out of hell? So, who dragged him?"

"me" Cas said.

"so I bet you marked him. It could be Dean they're talking about" I reasoned.

"It is possible" he agreed.

"And they're not an angel or demon, that means human or something like it" Bobby added.

The angel piped up again, "but not of mud or bone"

"And humans are originally created from mud and bone. Mud for the man and bone for the woman" I remembered and scratched my head in thought, "So this means that they're been in contact with an angel, similar to humans but not quite"

"with the ability to stop the apocalypse" the older man told us.

Cas asked something else, "but in whose favor?"

I gulped down the lump that was rising in my throat. Logically it sounded like me. I'd supposedly had contact with angels but I'd lived like any normal person until a month ago when it had all started. They wanted me to choose.

It could still be someone else, couldn't it?


	22. Gregory

**Chapter Twenty Two- Gregory**

_Hey! Hope you enjoy this one! _

For the next couple of weeks all I could think about was that prophecy and wondering when the God Squad or another Hell Bitch was going to show their freaking face. Luckily none did and the brothers hadn't returned. I tried to sleep as much as possible but I didn't. I couldn't. I just couldn't spend longer than four hours a night sleeping so for the rest of the time I just used to sit or lay in the bed trying not to think while Cas kept a watchful eye over me. Sometimes I spent the night crying as the grief and terror caught up on me.

During the day Bobby taught me more and more about hunting and the creatures that I was most likely going to face. Cas still had trouble learning about boundaries and personal space. He walked in on me in the shower once and never dared to it again after the reaction he got. He was learning though, I noticed him starting to pick up more human habits. Like a sly smile about something he found funny or ironic. He told me that the other angels were still deciding my fate. Whether I was to die or live. He hadn't even heard whispers of what their decision might be, so I was still in the dark.

* * *

The day when Sam and Dean returned I was looking through various books in the living room slash library trying to find a match for the symbol that Alistair had branded into my arm. Cas was stood near the window. I'd grown quite attached to him and from what I could tell he'd gotten used to feeling my emotions. I had also realized how accurately I could guess how he was feeling or where he was in relation to me.

"I sincerely doubt you'll find that sigil in there" he commented with a sideways look.

I sat back and looked at the title of the book, 'The Fifty ways to exorcise hell-spawn'. I put the book down and noticed a small smile spread across his face before he returned to the window.

I picked up another book, something about demons and their like. I flicked through the yellowed pages lazily when I heard the sound of a car nearby. My eyes shot over to Cas' position at the window.

"Sam and Dean are here" he chimed almost at the exact moment the sound of the engine cut out front.

I heard the car doors swing open and shut. I used a nearby book mark to save the page that I was on. The front door opened and the two men lumbered in. I turned around to see them, they had a dusting of snow in on their heads and over their winter clothes. I hadn't realized that it was snowing outside.

"Hey Rox" Dean gave me a smile and came further into the room, "you're looking better, in fact you're looking radiant"

"Not gonna happen Dean" I smiled up to him, "but thanks anyways"

Sam laughed as he dropped the duffle bags by the door, "hi Rox"

"Hey" I said to him. His brother seemed a little down trodden but it was nothing but a bruised ego. He'd get over it. I felt an odd bitter feeling though, mixed in with an instantaneous jealousy that wasn't my own. I glanced over to Cas and the feeling disappeared. Our gaze met and he chose to look away. He was feeling jealousy over me? No…

My attention was distracted when the older Winchester sat down and asked, "Where's Bobby?"

"Upstairs" I said offhandedly and added, "packing…"

"Why?" Sam asked looking down at me confused, "where's he going?"

"Dominican Republic" Bobby's gruff voice at the door sounded, "there's a damn necromantic cult causing chaos over there and a few other hunters called me in"

The brothers then turned to me and asked at the same time, "you going to be okay?"

I regarded them for a second, "sure…I have Cas"

He seemed proud at that, "I shall protect her"

"See" I told them, "I'll be fine"

They didn't seem too happy with that but they kept quiet about it anyway. There was silence for a few moments, me and Bobby exchanged a look. Where they going to tell us what that demon was talking about? It'd had taken them nearly a month to get back so they had to have something.

"What?" Sam asked as we turned our gaze to him then slowly to Dean.

I asked casually, "the demon?"

Recognition blinked in their eyes and they stumbled over there words to begin with not knowing where to start or who was going to tell what.

"Why don't you start with when you left the house" Cas suggested.

Dean pulled a face, "yeah, well we called Ellen and Jo. They said the hellbitch was still trapped and still talkin'"

"So we picked up the gas and got there as soon as we could" Sam added and continued, "when we got there, this demon was possessing a college kid. Called himself Gregory"

"Gregory?" I asked sharply and I began to pace around the room. That was the sonofabitch that was in the diner!

"Yeah, he told us he was there with Casey…in the diner" Dean said quietly.

"What did he say?" Bobby asked.

He took a deep breath, "he told us what apparently happened in the nursery"

I gulped and absently fumbled with the rosary around my neck, "he did?"

"Yeah" Sam agreed, "told us that Azazal went into your nursery and bled into your mouth, he fed you demon blood. Your Mom walked in and died and then there was a fire but something went wrong"

"What?" part of me didn't want to know what the answer was.

"He said that an angel, an arch-angel, appeared from nowhere and started to fight with him" the older brother told me.

My eyes were glistened with tears, "go on"

He cleared his throat, "the angel nearly killed him but before he had the chance to finish Azazal escaped. And the angel picked you up out of the cradle and tried to neutralize the demon blood"

"What do you mean by neutralize?" I asked in a whisper.

They looked over to each other. They were obviously wondering whether to tell me this.

Finally Sam took the plunge, "by giving you his blood"

"What?" I glanced over to him, "that's why Ruby called me half breed"

"After that he took you outside, it was too late for your parents" I was told, "you were also the last kid who Azazal went to"

I sat back down and ran my hands through my hair. The prophecy made sense, it was me. If the demons were telling the truth.

"Did you kill Gregory?" I asked bitterly.

"No, other demons attacked and he escaped" Dean said. I heard the three men get up and leave the room. They were obviously going to talk about me and this situation. I just wasn't in the mood for more complex talk.

In the kitchen I could hear them talking.

"What took ya so long?" Bobby was scolding them.

"Ugh, got caught up in some other cases" Dean answered, "There was a damn wishing well that was real, Magic coin…"

I tuned them out and began to gather myself.

I glanced over to Cas, "is it true?"

"I don't know" was all he could say, "the superiors would know"

I took a deep breath to steady myself, "who was it?"

He replied quickly, "no one in Heaven"

If this was true then was I supposed to be grateful? Sam had told me that he and the other special children had been forced to fight and only one had walked away alive. If it was for this renegade angel then I'd be dead too. Would that have been for the best?

And why? Why had this fight taken place in my nursery? Why did both my parents have to suffer because of it? And everyone else I had ever met seemed to be affected in some way. I was cursed.

"I can see why they'd want me dead…" was all I was able to say, "I'm a freak"

Cas looked at me pitifully. His head doing the classic tilt and puppy-dog eyes.

"How could God or anyone have allowed this to happen? How could Azazal been allowed to just go around bleeding into kids mouths?" I ranted absently.

"The lord works in mysterious ways" was all he could offer me.

I blinked away the tears as best as I could. I was one unlucky woman. From that moment on, I vowed not to cry. Not until there was no point in me living anymore.


	23. Caller ID

**Chapter Twenty Three- Caller ID**

_Hey! Thanks for the reviews etc. So happy you're all enjoying it! _

The next day I was sat watching the snow fall through the window early in the morning. It was a couple of hours after dawn and I could hear the others walking about outside my room. Someone was busy having a shower in the bathroom, another was just walking around probably wanting to get in the bathroom himself and then I could hear someone else downstairs in the kitchen.

The room I was in had really become my own now. The furniture had been moved so it was most convenient, the clothes were arranged in a manageable way in the wardrobe and I had even brought a chair upstairs for Cas.

My thoughts strayed to him for a second and so did my eyes. He was still in his corner close to the door but now instead of standing awkwardly he could sit and look a little less strange. He was sat in his classic pose. Resting his chin on his knuckles as he was probably thinking about things I couldn't even imagine. Something I had noticed about him was his clothes. He never seemed to change them. Always the same trench coat, suit and tie.

He felt my gaze resting on him and looked up curiously, "yes?"

I shook my head lazily, "nothing"

My eyes returned to the window and the falling snow. The wind picked up a bit and caused a small whirlwind. A few of the snowflakes were blown onto the glass. Even from my position on the bed I could see the detail on the formations. After a few seconds they had turned back to water.

A thought occurred to me, "whose Lilith?"

No one had actually told me.

"A demon" was all Cas said. His expression told me how much he hated her and feared her at the same time. I couldn't believe it, an angel of the freakin' lord was scared of a demon?

My brow furrowed, "I mean is she powerful? What's her back story? She anything like Azazal?"

He pondered for a few moments, "She is very powerful. She's the first soul Lucifer twisted into a demon and she is not unlike Azazal."

"So she's the one breaking the seals?" I wondered quietly.

He nodded.

The water stopped and then someone pounded hard on one of the doors. Presumably with a fist.

"Sam! Come on!"

It was Dean. They were fighting over the bathroom. I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

* * *

I walked into the kitchen a little while later when the brothers weren't squabbling over the bathroom anymore. Now they were just chewing on bacon and looking through various newspapers probably looking for a case. They had spent the night here and by the looks of it didn't want to spend another. Bobby was having a half conversation with Dean. And I mean half, Dean didn't even realize he was being spoken too.

My angel buddy decided to lean against the door post while I got some juice and a couple of breakfast bars. I wasn't that hungry and I hadn't been for a while. I could run on little compared to the others.

Bobby finally had enough of being ignored, "Dean! Goddam it answer me!"

I felt Cas flinch internally and saw Dean nearly fall out of his seat. Cas had gotten so used to the word Goddam or any other word with God attached to it that he didn't seem to be bothered anymore. It was only through the rosary that I could tell the effect it had on him.

Dean eyed Bobby warily as he tried to clear up the coffee which he had spilt on some on the papers, "what?"

"Haven't you been listenin' to a word I've been saying?" the older man asked disgusted.

The other looked away more than a little ashamed.

Bobby didn't need to hear the answer and started his conversation from the beginning, "I was sayin' that it's not another seal, which reminds me. We haven't heard of any being broken for a while"

All eyes in the room automatically turned to Bambi, "I have not received any word of the seals"

Or from anything else, I thought slyly.

"By the way" Dean started, "how will you know when they come for Roxy"

I hit him on the back of the head with the last cereal bar I had. No one called me Roxy. He rubbed his head absently as he looked to Cas for an answer.

"I won't" he was looking out of one of the windows, "I suspect that they'll just arrive with no prior warning"

"Maybe that will be good for you Castiel" Uriel supposed from his sudden position from behind Sam, "you seem to have grown quite attached to her"

"What are you suggesting?" He asked him. No matter what Uriel's temporary position was, Cas was still his boss.

"Oh nothing, just that you would try to protect her" he answered.

I decided to pipe up, "I'm guessing you're not here to share gossip over coffee"

His face turned sour, "What I am doing here is none of your business, Halfbreed. Castiel I have come to warn you that we will be needed shortly"

And with that he disappeared with a flutter.

"Cas?" Dean wondered, "how do you kill an angel?"

He didn't get the joke but instead looked rather offended. Before he could reply Sam's cell started to ring loudly, it was some old Bon Jovi song.

"Hey", he answered after a long look at the caller ID, "A case? Where?"

Bobby and Dean were mouthing questions to him like 'who is it?' and 'what do they want?' He chose to ignore them and listen intently. From what I could tell he was talking to a woman. There was something wrong with her voice, it was contorted.

"It's Ruby" I realized with a fixed glare and looked to Cas for confirmation. It was her.

Sam looked at me bizarrely. He was wondering how I had been able to guess. I shrugged. I wasn't about to question my instinct of knowing who was a demon or out to get me.

"Yeah, I get it Ruby." He said, "turn on the what? Channel three?"

He got up and walked into the living room. We followed him curiously all the while Dean moaning and complaining.

"We shouldn't listen to that bitch, I don't care what she has to say" no one was really listening to him. It was kind of ironic.

Sam switched on the set and changed it until the midday news came on. It was talking about a young woman named Anna Milton who had just escaped from a high security mental ward. She was a schizophrenic patient who had severe delusions about the end of the world, demons and angels. I felt Cas stiffen next to me. He was sad for some reason, I wondered if this was what Uriel had been talking about.

Sam was still listening intently to the other end of the line, "yeah, Ohio? You sure?" he hung up.

"Well?" Bobby asked.

"Demons are after the girl, she was in Ohio last" he informed us.

Dean shook his head, "how do we know that bitch is telling the truth, she could just be insane"

"You should go" I told them, "just in case it's true, you'd go if Ruby hadn't given you the tip"

The brothers exchanged glances. They were giving me wondering looks. They were wondering if I was psychic.

"Okay, we'll go" Dean agreed, "but your coming with us"

"I'm fine here" I argued, "nothing's going to grab me in the night"

"Oh yeah?" Bobby rallied against me, "what will you do if the angels come for you?"

I gulped, "I'll break the salt line…I'm sure they'll be a few of them hanging around here. Once the demons get in, the holy rollers'll be too busy fighting them and I'll just escape"

"You know how stupid you sound?" the guy in the baseball cap bellowed at me.

I nodded and answered with a sigh, "I can't be mothered by you guys all the time. Anyway they won't come for me"

I didn't know if any of them could sense that I had no idea whether they'd come for me or not. I didn't know if they realized that I would really break the salt line at the first sign of trouble then run for the hills and call them while I was running. From what I had seen I'd rather face Casey and Alistair a hundred times than face Uriel in a bad mood. I didn't know if I would actually have the chance to break the salt line. But Sam and Dean left shortly afterwards and Bobby was gone by the time it started to get dark.

* * *

Cas had been awfully quiet since we had seen that clip on the news. We were just in the kitchen and I was busy cooking my dinner. It was nothing special.

"What's wrong?" I asked him as I stirred the contents of the pan that was busy simmering its way to being done. I wasn't facing him and I wasn't sure if I wanted to.

I had caught him off guard and he stumbled for an answer, "erm, nothing…why do you ask?"

"because I can tell something's not right" I told him honestly, "Who is this Anna girl? She like me?"

He sighed and avoided my first question, "no, she is nothing like you"

"Is that what Uriel came to warn you about?" I pondered. When he didn't answer I looked up, I could see his reflection in the window. It was still snowing and he looked useless behind me.

He looked to his feet, "yes"

I didn't know why he looked the way he did. It could've been for so many different reasons so I decided to leave the conversation at that. The rest of the night was silent and thoughtful for the both of us.

I realized that there were so many things that I had no idea about. I didn't know if I would be alive the next day or if Lucifer would really rise. The surprising thing was I didn't _want_ to know. It would ruin the small illusion of happiness and safety that I had.


	24. Swap

**Chapter Twenty Four- Swap**

_Hey! Don't hate me about what happens :D Enjoy! Thanks for the review!_

The next morning I woke up early. Cas was still sad and I wasn't going to press him for a reason. I was dressed and eating my breakfast at eight a.m. I hadn't gotten up that early for a long time and it felt like it. I tucked my now long hair behind my ear as I supped at the cup of coffee I had made for myself. I offered Cas some and he declined.

"Don't angel's need to eat then?" I asked.

He was leaning against a few of the kitchen cabinets, "no, we don't need to drink either"

"Huh" I considered, "what about the…err…the guy?"

He looked at me confused, "you mean my vessel?"

I nodded, "yeah, doesn't he die or something if you don't eat?"

"He is sustained by my energy" was all he had to say. For some reason he was incredibly conscious of the time. His eyes kept casting glances to the clock hanging on the wall.

I was about to ask if he was okay when there was a sudden fluttering of wings behind me. Fear struck me and I had to swallow the growing lump in my throat. Cas was looking at the angel that was stood there. From the look on his face I summarized that it was a superior and he was sad. Sadder than he had been.

Slowly I turned around in my seat half expecting to see another version of Uriel with a knife, pike or whatever they used to kill people. But it wasn't Uriel, or anyone that made me want to be sick if I looked for too long.

Still…the man standing there. He seemed vicious and petty but he wasn't directly hostile. Yet. He was wearing a suit with a tie. His eyes were light and he had absolutely no hair. Or at least none that I could see from this angle.

"So you're Roxanne" he said loudly with a smile. He obviously thought I was the most stupid being to have ever lived.

"It's Rox…" I paused, "I'm not an idiot you know"

He inclined his head a little and walked over to where Cas was stood, I never took my eyes off him, "My misunderstanding…sometimes humans are a little dense"

My eyebrow jerked involuntarily, "that's probably because of the hair, tissue and bone that words have to travel through to get to their brains"

I had realized I had said _theirs_ instead of _ours_. What was happening to me?

"Maybe" he considered and looked carefully at Cas. He looked worried under this guy's gaze.

After a few moments I cleared my throat, "sorry but you are who exactly?"

"An angel of the Lord" he almost threw the words over his shoulder.

I sighed and got up, "I can see that, I was meaning a name baldy"

He turned to me and I could see the frustration ebbing under the skin, "Zachariah, I am Castiel and Uriel's superior"

"And I'm not dead yet…" I wondered to myself.

_So what does he want?_

I absently scratched at my arm as I went over to the dishwasher and started setting it up. Bobby had rarely used it but I made sure it didn't get left for too long. I had expected the two angels to start conversing at any moment but they didn't.

I eyed them cautiously out of the corner of my eye. Cas was looking uncomfortable and he kept shuffling from one foot to another. Zachariah however seemed to be wondering what to do. It was like he was running things through in his head.

"Okay, I'm tired of being polite" I said aloud, "you here for a family visit or just to stand there looking proud?"

The other angel sighed, "Cas has been ordered to take part in another mission"

The information made me jar inside. Now I knew partly why he was sad. What if he wasn't allowed to come back? Or if they were planning on killing me when he wasn't here? I swallowed the gulp in my throat and thought it through. The only reason either of those things would happen would be if they thought he had gotten too attached to me and they would've probably ghosted him out of here before I had chance to even realize.

"So what? Your taking over the babysitting while he's away?" I tried to act tough and strong. Like it didn't matter who was watching me, like I wasn't bothered, like I didn't care. But to be honest I did. Cas was probably the closest person to me for a long, long time. He was probably the closest person to me since I was twenty-two.

Zachariah laughed, "Yeah, I guess you could say that. Don't look at me like I'm Alistair, I'm not going to hurt you"

I hadn't realized that I was glaring angrily at him yet at the same time looking terrified. I relaxed my face and turned back to the window. The salt lines were still intact, I wondered how much longer they would be. Almost as if they could sense my thoughts I saw a dark shape in the distance. Just before the chain link fence. Before my eyes had chance to focus on it, it had disappeared. The demons were watching me.

He was completely unaware and carried on talking, "unless of course, the big bosses give the say-so"

I glared at him over my shoulder, "if you're done babbling, I'd like to have a word with Cas"

Zachariah was wary but for some reason careful not to anger me, "Five minutes, this mission is very important"

Before he had chance to flutter away I told him, "there are demons outside, maybe you should go take a look"

When he had gone I turned to face Cas.

"You should not anger Zachariah, he is a very-" he started to warn me. He was worried already.

"I guessed" I said cutting him off, "this is about that girl isn't it? Anna Milton?"

He nodded, "yes it is"

"And Uriel is going to be there too?" I pondered.

"Yes" he answered solemnly.

"At least I won't have to deal with him…" I whispered half heartedly. This was going to be difficult.

After what felt like a life time of us just standing there looking at each other awkwardly I realized that the douche bag would be back soon. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what was going to happen so how could I make the most of this? Do I tell him he's the best person I've ever met? Do I tell him I'll miss him? Or would he be able to feel all of that through the rosary?

He gave me a weak smile, "I shall still be able to sense you through the rosary"

Did he know that I could sense him?

I nodded still not knowing how to say goodbye. I bit my lip as I tried to think. In the end I gave him a warning, "don't do anything stupid…"

Jeez I was acting like a school girl and I had no idea why.

"I won't" he promised.

"I'll hold you to that" I partially grinned over at him.

To the left wings fluttered and the already annoying voice of Zach boomed around the room, "Ah, no demons around"

That was a lie. There were. He probably wanted them to cart me off back to the warehouse so he wouldn't have to get his hands dirty when it came to it.

"Castiel? It's time to go" he prompted.

Cas looked at me for a long time. I had to blink; my eyes were getting dry and scratchy. It only took part of a second but when I opened my eyes again he was gone. I pressed my lips together and I wondered when I would next see him.


	25. Lies

**Chapter Twenty Five- Lies**

_Sorry for not updating sooner! Went away for the weekend and I've started a new course etc etc, spending the next two days doing Paediatric First Aid. Done one day already, I'm tired as hell! Anyways hope you enjoy this chappy :) Oh yeah, try and guess who the other dude is ;)_

The next day I woke up early staring up at the dismal ceiling in my room. I hadn't slept well, my nightmares we're back for the first time since the first night I spent in the house. Granted they weren't the same ones. I wasn't seeing Alistair or Casey leering over me but they were still chilling.

_I was in a nursery standing in the corner of the room near a little guardian angel figurine. It was sat with a blissful smile on its face, its wings were moving quietly from a draft that came from the open window. It saddened me that most angels weren't as they were portrayed in the media. The angel's eyes were watching over the crib that was pushed up against the wall opposite. I followed its gaze through the darkness and noticed that there was a man standing over it, he was leaning into it._

_There wasn't much distinguishable about the man. He was wearing dark clothes and had his face turned away from me. What I did notice though that there was a thick liquid dropping from his wrist into the crib._

_My stomach turned. The scene didn't feel right. It felt wrong, it felt evil. I had no way of knowing what he was doing but I just knew it wasn't good. My breath came faster and I tried to make a noise. If I could startle the guy then he'd leave right? I glanced over to the open window, why was it open when it was so cold?_

_Suddenly there was a woman standing in the doorway. Deep inside me I felt a flicker of recognition when I looked into her terrified eyes. She started to scream and bawl. I urged for her to leave, to just get away. I cast a look over to the man; his eyes were trained on her. His yellow eyes._

_"Azazal" my voice whispered between my lips. I was terrified. My blood ran cold. He didn't even give me a flicker of his attention._

_His eyes moved upwards and I realised that the screaming had stopped. I warily looked up too. I wasn't sure if I wanted too but I needed to. My eyes widened as I saw the woman pinned to the ceiling. A deep red gash under her nightshirt. Her dark hair fell down covering most of her face but her eyes were still visible. They were glazed over and unseeing._

_A breath escaped my body with a shaky exhale. A fire suddenly exploded from all around. His eyes returned to the crib then flashed towards the window. Another man was standing there but he wasn't screaming. He wasn't afraid._

_He was taller than the demon and was watching him with cold eyes. They exchanged words that I couldn't hear. A smirk appeared across the man's face and his eyes temporarily lit up in amusement. I noticed that they were in fact a honey colour._

_What happened next seemed to happen to quickly for anyone to notice. They both became blurs and quickly afterwards Azazal left through the open window. The fire was still raging but I couldn't feel its heat yet I could still feel the cold._

_I shielded my eyes against the glaring light of the flames as I watched the man approach the crib and lean over it. A sad smile graced his face and he regarded the little figure in the wooden structure. He looked up in my direction. His eyes were now deadly serious._

_I realised with a sick thought that he was looking at me! He was staring right into my eyes. I couldn't move and I couldn't break the stare. He began to raise his hand so it was level with his face and clicked his fingers._

That was when my eyes snapped open and I was back in my room staring at the ceiling. It was dark in the room with only a bit of light escaping from under the drapes. I was unconsciously grabbing the piece of wood around my neck. My right hand was clutching at the rosary for comfort even after I had realised. There was reassuring warmth ebbing from it.

"Nightmares?" An accusing tone escaped from the corner. Zach brought me back to reality with his total douchy-ness.

I closed my eyes and sighed. I was missing Cas an awful lot and it had only been twelve hours. I wanted him back. I needed him back. My hand began to grow warmer and warmer until I felt ready to get out of bed.

* * *

Hours later I was back in the library. I had managed to uncover an ancient desk that had been hidden by various bits and pieces. I had pulled it over to the other side of the room where I could see out of the window, see the corridor and stairs and most of the kitchen comfortably with the wall at my back. I couldn't help but wonder if I was getting paranoid. I borrowed one of the chairs from the kitchen to use. Mainly because I daren't go outside to grab one from the garage, Zach didn't look like he would fight to the death over me. And there were demons out there. Occasionally I saw shapes on the other side of the glass but when I looked at them they filtered away before my eyes had chance to settle.

I spent most of the day looking through the rest of the books. There was nothing in any of them that looked anything like it. I found an old book on Enochian though. I set that aside to read later.

"Having a little trouble?" Zach asked as he walked proudly around the room.

I sighed, "Just a bit"

"I'm not surprised" he smirked, "human resources tend to be a tad limited"

I scoffed, "not that Heaven's are much better"

The rosary got hotter, I got the sense Cas was trying to warn me. A pang of sadness hit me. I realised just how far apart we were. I didn't even understand what was happening to me. It hurt me if he wasn't near me and safe. Were my feelings getting dangerous or were we just friends?

The angel glared at me wondering where I was going with this.

"I mean...honestly how many seals have broken?" I taunted him as I tried to turn my mind away from those thoughts.

He gave a sharp laugh, "we're doing all we can"

"Well with-holding information might actually damage the war" I thumbed through a few pages, "you actually share and you might win"

He regarded me sceptically, "what are you talking about?"

"Show off your knowledge and tell me what this is" I pointed to my brand.

He smiled, "why should I?"

"Fine, you're an idiot" I chimed with a pout, "I now owe Dean twenty bucks"

Lies but he didn't know that. I hoped that this would work. If it didn't I had no idea how I would figure out what it is.

"What?" he asked.

"Hmm?" I glanced up, "oh Dean bet that you're an idiot and I said you wouldn't be..."

He drew his lips back making his smile into a dangerous snarl, "fine, you want to know what that stupid little mark is? It's old Enochian, only Lilith would know about that mark. It's called a Traceable Hades or a footprint in modern terms. It allows them to track where you are and if there is anything near you that stops them getting to you."

"Thank you" I grinned, "you really are an idiot"

"You...you lied?" Realisation dawned on his features and my cell started to buzz in my pocket.

I answered it, "Bobby? What's up?"

"Nothin'" his voice sounded crackly, his reception was bad, "just checkin' in on ya"

"Right" I told him and carefully chose to ignore the angelic being in the room, "how's the Dominican?"

He scoffed, "Hot and crappy, Cas okay?"

"Yeah" my voice broke a little, "he's fine, we're fine"

"You sure?" he asked, "you sound a little...sad"

My tone changed, "I do? Huh, must be the crappy reception..."

"Hmm" he agreed, "I'll be back in a few days anyway, don't do anything stupid"

His words echoed my own. The ones I'd said to Cas yesterday.

"I won't" another lie, I didn't seem to do anything smart, "See you when you get back"

"See ya" He hung up.

I caught Zach looking smugly at me again as I put my cell back in my pocket, "What?"

"Do you ever tell the truth?" he asked with a grin.

"Not around you no" I told him bitterly.

I sat back thoughtfully and my mind ran away from me.


	26. Overemotional

**Chapter Twenty Six- Overemotional **

_Hey! Hope you all enjoy this one! Sorry it's a bit short!_

A little while later my cell started to vibrate on the wooden table. I lowered the book I was reading, it was on Enochian and after two hours I was only on chapter two. And it was a pretty thick tome too. Zach was lounging on the couch. I wasn't paying attention to what he was doing and I wasn't all that bothered. The rosary was being unresponsive. The heat was still there but just distant. I guessed that Cas was busy on his little mission, maybe he was trying to stop Uriel destroying an entire town.

"Are you going to answer that annoying piece of crap?" he turned and asked me clearly irate. He didn't take too well to being tricked. Especially by something he considered a lower life form. This dude was getting way too annoying for my liking.

I scowled at the angel and picked up the cell in my hand. I glanced half-heartedly at the caller-id, 'Dean'. The piece of technology continued its little dance in my hand. I finally put it out of its misery and answered, "Hey"

"Rox?" Dean's voice sounded relieved and strained. I could hear people talking in the background. Sam, Ruby and…someone else. Some_thing_ else.

"Yeah" I gulped, "what's wrong?"

There was a sharp pause, "You sittin' down?"

Zach peaked over at me.

"Get out" I told him, when he had fluttered away, I answered cautiously, "Yes…"

"Right well erm…" he couldn't get the words out.

"Dean" I growled down the line, "tell me"

He took a deep breath, "we were finding that girl, Anna Milton. And erm Alistair turned up. She's important to the demons and then…"

I waited for him to continue. If Alistair turned up that meant that this girl really was important to them.

"Cas and Uriel showed up" he paused, "they wanted to kill her"

I felt weak. The phone nearly slipped out of my hand. I knew their mission was something to do with the girl but I didn't know they were ordered to kill her! I had to struggle to find any words, "What umm, what happened?"

"The girl knew some angel mumbo jumbo, they just disappeared" he changed the subject, "who were you tellin' to get out?"

They disappeared? That explained why the rosary wasn't so strong.

"Zachariah" was all I said at first, "another angel, biggest ass I've ever known. He's taken over while Cas is away"

"So he left you?" he turned angry.

"Don't bother" I warned him, "I'll explain everything when I see you but don't tell Bobby"

"Huh" he knew why. If Bobby knew, he'd die of a heart attack then take down Cas the next time he was in heaven. Though it was a sight I wouldn't have minded seeing it was still best avoided, "we need to come to the house"

"What? Why?" I asked partially still out of it because of the information he had just given me.

"The panic room, at least until we figure out what to do" he said solemnly.

I asked, "but the panic room won't keep angels out"

"That's why we need to be quick" I heard Ruby's voice in the back ground. I had forgotten how charming the little bitch could be.

"I'll work on gettin' douche bag out of here" I said through clenched teeth.

We hung up.

* * *

By three o'clock I was walking around the kitchen. Pacing up and down. I didn't know when the guys were going to get here but it was probably going to be before dark. That gave me two hours. Plus a rather large portion of my mind was still fixed on Cas. Was he okay? _Where_ was he? When would he get back?

Zach eyed me warily, "you never did explain what Dean wanted"

"Huh?" I looked up from my shoes, "oh nothing, just checkin' in. Apparently Alistair showed up"

What I would've normally said would have been 'it's none of your damn business, go stop the freakin' apocalypse'. But I needed to think of a plan. How could I get him out of here without him being suspicious? I eyed the salt lines nearby. What good would it do anyway? I'd just get abducted again. The angel's probably wouldn't be able to drag me out again either.

"You hate this don't you?" I asked abruptly. I decided to wing it. Completely wing it.

He looked at me, "I can't say it's the most exciting thing I've ever done in my entirety of existence"

I smiled sheepishly, "I can't blame you for hating it. Can't blame you if you hate me, hate humanity…"

"My opinion isn't very high" he told me offhandedly.

I nodded. My arms were folded across my chest, my head coming forward. It gave me a despairing and desperate look, "Neither is mine. I mean come on. Humanity is just basically a group of dirty, corrupt, emotional, greedy self-loathing monkey's that have figured out how to walk on two feet. I'm exactly the same, no matter what the rumors are. Demons are better than us."

He seemed a taken back, "well I erm…don't mix with either when I don't have to"

He's scared to commit blasphemy. I knew his weakness. How could I make this help me?

I slumped into the chair and looked him in the eye, "how many people are in your family?"

"Hundreds, thousands" he sighed obviously not interested in this topic of conversation, "I lose count"

"You're lucky like that" I smiled weakly, "mine's never been very big and…they've always been taken away"

A fake sob started to rise in my throat.

"Sometimes, it's just so hard to carry on" I started, "I never get any time alone…with Cas he's always there, and then Bobby's always around. Those few moments today were the only time I didn't have something with wings hovering over me" I wondered if he knew where I was going with this, "do…do you think you could give me a day? On my own? Before everyone gets back…no one has to know"

He swallowed, "ah..erm…"

He was clearly uncomfortable with having me on the verge of tears. He wanted to leave. But would he?

"Please" I begged with my eyes stained with tears and grabbed his hand, "I just…I just want to be alone for a while"

He pulled back disgusted but tried to turn it into a move that involved him standing up, "I guess I can do it, just this once…as long as you don't leave"

I smiled gratefully, "I won't! I won't leave on my own! I sweat it!"

His face was still crumpled in barely hidden disgust, "I'll see you this time tomorrow"

He disappeared with a flutter. The smile on my face was real. I wiped away the tears currently snaking their way down my cheeks and waited patiently for the brothers to return. While I waited I kept thinking about Castiel and I vaguely wondered if he was thinking of me too.


	27. No Signal

**Chapter Twenty Seven- No Signal**

_Hey! Sorry about this being a little late (when I say a little I mean nearly a week…oops…^.^). Ah well, this may be happening for a while as I'll have assignments to churn out every couple of weeks haha. Hope you all enjoy it!_

I started to get hungry. It began as a little annoyance that caused me to nibble on my lower lip. I chewed it absent mindedly as I kept my eyes on the time. They wouldn't be long now. I kept reminding myself that. Then it started to get worse. My stomach began to moan and grumble as it demanded food. I began to crave pancakes.

Eventually when I couldn't take this any longer I got up and grabbed a pan from where they were usually stored. I tried to remember how to make pancakes. It had been so long since I last made them. I doubted that Bobby had any of the ready made mixes lying around. I was still shocked to discover a microwave under old newspapers and books over a week ago. I went over the recipe in my head. A couple of eggs, flour, milk and salt. I grabbed the important ingredients and equipment and set to work. I didn't think I was missing anything…

When I was set to flip the first one a howling wind kicked up outside. I lifted my eyes and gazed out of the window suspiciously. It was too sudden to be natural, I knew that much. The chain link fence at the end of the yard was rocking precariously, the little tuffs of grass were struggling to hold onto the ground and I heard the bench near the door start to creak. I turned the gas off. My dinner was going to have to wait.

"I hate demons" I hissed through my teeth. I didn't know if the hellbitches could hear me or even if they would freakin' care.

My eyes wandered to the salt line on the inside of the window. It was intact. I wasn't going to break the damn thing either. Not yet, not here, hopefully never. I backed away from the window as the weather got fiercer. They were trying to scare me.

Or, I thought objectively, they were trying to force their way in.

How long would it be until one of the windows or doors broke? And then the wind would just move the salt wouldn't it? Would they be able to do that?

I glanced up at the clock. It told me that it was four thirty. The guys would be here in little under an hour. And _Anna_ was coming with them. The demons would take her and no one would be able to stop them. Not even Ruby.

I gulped. I couldn't go and hide in the panic room and I couldn't go out there to confront the creatures. I had to call them. I had to call Dean and get them to turn around before they arrived. I ran into the library and grabbed my cell. I hastily dialed his number. I really needed to learn how to use the damn speed dial system. As I lifted the piece of technology to my ear I waited for it to ring. There was silence on the other end as I waited to be connected.

Oh god, please let it ring, I prayed. Please let it _ring_.

All my willing did no good. The line remained dead. They'd cut me off. It was now a siege. It was just a matter of how long I would hold out…or how long until they got in.

Then I wondered if Bobby had a hidden telephone like the microwave. Hidden under what seemed like decades of _crap_. Leaves and other debris that had been racked up by the side of the house hit the nearby window with a terrifying crack.

A small sound escaped from my throat. I was angry and scared. So freaking scared. For the first time since I had been pulled out of the warehouse I was alone. Really alone. Panic threatened to over take me.

The rosary was still dulled. Cas wasn't here, he couldn't just pull me away when Casey arrived.

I had to sort this out myself. I had to fight for myself. I took a deep breath to steady myself and I looked around the room. I actually examined the room. Taking in every detail I scanned it, looking for anything that could resemble a phone. Anything at all.

My eyes eventually stopped when they reached an awkward pile of books at the edge of the room. I lunged for them and tore at them until the phone was revealed. I really needed to give Bobby a lesson in spring cleaning this place.

Luckily it was already connected to a line. The cable dangled dangerously out of one end and eventually disappeared into the wall, I dialed the number as quickly as I could. I heard something else move around outside. I waited as it rang, the tone was faint but it was still there. I had been given a lifeline.

"Hey Rox" Dean answered, it was crackly, "Ve-thing Kay?"

"Dean!" I almost screamed, "Demon's have surrounded the house! You can't come here! Not with Anna!"

Even through the faulty connection he sounded urgent, "Ro-ont-do-nythi-we'll-there-soo"

"No!" I shouted, "These are powerful! You can't-"

The line went dead. The demons had realized that they'd missed it. So the guys were still coming, idiots.

"Damnit" I cursed.

The wind got stronger. They weren't going to give up. And neither was I.

I wasn't thinking about what I was doing as I ran into the basement and grabbed the nearest shot gun. There was a box of salt rounds nearby. I grabbed them and ran back upstairs.

The next moment when I actually thought I was stood at the front door. The box of shells were perched on the table nearby. I was loading the gun. It clicked shut. I removed the safety. The rosary was hanging lifelessly around my neck.

I reached out and turned the handle clockwise. It swung open before me. The wind hit me harshly but I stayed where I was. I braced myself against whatever was going to happen. I was still on the safe side of the salt line.

Suddenly a heat was coming from the piece of wood. It wasn't dull anymore. Cas was back from…from wherever he had been. Probably still with Uriel somewhere. It was much more passionate than I had remembered it. It gave me the drive to know that what I was doing was the right thing to do. Or at least the only thing that I could do.

Apart from locking myself away in the panic room while my friends and an innocent girl got attacked. Ruby could go die for all I cared, she could prove herself to be a reformed demon and actually die. However, the demon responsible for the wind still hadn't appeared. Now I was just angry.

"Come on then you sonofabitch!" I screamed into the wind, "You want me? I'm here!"

I stepped over the line and aimed ready for anything.

I heard them before I saw them. The light footsteps off to my right. The gentle satisfied breathing escaping from lungs that weren't they're own. Even with the sound of the vicious wind I could still hear it and imagine the smirk that sat on a stolen face.

My eyes wandered to the right and I saw a black shape. This is what I always saw when I wasn't facing demons head on. They were always a black mass with grey features. I wondered if everyone else saw them like this. I turned quickly and pressed down on the trigger. The round ricocheted around the barrel and into the flesh of an innocent. It was however, inhabited by one of hell's most annoying spawn.

Casey.

She gasped for a moment in pain and grinned lusciously at me, "Long time no see"

"Shame about that" I scoffed, "I really missed you…"

"Me too sweet cheeks" she cooed with her hands on her hips, "You do realize salt can't kill us? It's just a nuisance when you're as powerful as I am"

"Huh, I'll try to remember that" I eyed her suspiciously. I raised the gun a little higher, the same level as her carotid artery.

"Where's your angel buddy, anyways?" She wondered aloud and leered, "Even though I don't go for anything with wings, I must say you've snagged a good one…real easy on the eyes"

I ignored her ramblings, "what are you doing here?"

She sighed, "It's all business with you…I'm here for the big decision. Heaven or hell, honey?"

"How about humanity?" I growled and pressed down hard on the trigger for a second time.

It hit her squarely but before she disappeared she managed to squeak out, "Suuuure, you'll come around soon"

I blinked and she was gone. The wind died down almost immediately. Then I heard the Impala pull up, they had been close when it had happened. By the looks of it there had been only one demon but if Casey was as powerful as she was letting on it would've been safer if the guys actually did as I told them. I lowered the gun and watched as the brothers got out of the classic car. Behind them two women got out of the backseat. Ruby and Anna. I didn't pay too much attention, I turned and went back into the house. The rosary was still blazing with an intense emotion. What was it? It wasn't anger, it wasn't sadness. Well not like the last time when Cas had felt like that.


	28. Wings

**Chapter Twenty Eight- Wings**

_Author's Note- Am I the only person whose been having problems with this site? It's been a pain in the ass recently, ugh, anyways it seems to be back to normal. And Supernatural's back on in the US I see, or well I don't *sobs* Borrowed the concept of the 'rotten wings' from Rachy's bigbang but I haven't been able to ask her cause she hasn't been online! Therefore this chappy is dedicated to her (and everyone else who reads, reviews and puts up with this fic but shush). Hope you enjoy this one! No Cas in this one but there should be soon! Lots more Cas soon! :D_

I left the door open behind me. I clicked the safety back on and threw the gun onto that old pink sofa. The moment I woke up on it felt a life time ago and in a way it was. I wandered back through into the kitchen while I rubbed the back of my neck. I looked at my half done pancake pitifully, it was ruined now. And I was still hungry so I made do by munching on pieces of cheese from the refrigerator. The rosary was almost blistering hot to the touch.

"Damnit Cas" I sighed, "What's wrong with you?"

"Rox?" I heard Sam say behind me. He was concerned, this guy was such a chick.

I turned and smiled, "hey"

"Anna's downstairs with Dean and Ruby, you okay?" he asked as he grabbed a beer.

"Fine" I nodded, "apart from pissing off a very powerful angel, shooting at Casey, and something's wrong with Cas"

"What? Start from the top" he told me with a careful chuckle as we sat down, "who did you annoy?"

"Zachariah, he's so frustrating," I screwed up my face in disgust, "I kinda tricked him several times to get him to leave…he's due back tomorrow afternoon"

He nodded, "we'll be out of here by then, isn't Casey that demon me and Ruby um…?"

"Yep" I sighed, "that bitch made me the offer again, heaven or hell?"

"Whatcha say?" Dean asked huskily from the doorway. It looked like the world was lying across his shoulders.

"Humanity" I smiled kindly.

The younger of the pair smiled back, "what's this about Cas?"

I shrugged, "the rosary feels hot. Like he's feeling an extreme emotion, I just dunno what"

"I'm sure he'll be fine" Dean said sarcastically. It didn't take a genius to figure out that he wasn't happy with the angel, he threw a small bag at me before turning to Sam and asking, "the car okay?"

His brother nodded, "yep, I also checked the salt lines…all intact"

His green eyes surveyed the windows and doors anyway.

I had caught the bag and examined it by twirling it round, "what's this?"

He sighed, "A hex bag, it'll hide you from angels and more importantly it'll help hide Anna"

"Right," I gulped. I could sense what was coming, the argument about safety. The tension was brewing in the air.

"What were you doing outside? _Alone_" the older man asked sternly.

There it was. The protective Dean Winchester-ness. Sam sighed and grabbed a folder from out of his duffle that was on the floor. I gritted my teeth.

He continued, "There were demon's out there! You could've been killed or worse…"

"Dean…" I sighed.

"I mean hell! You could've ended up back with Alistair, Damnit" he seethed as he paced around the table.

"You are not…" Family, I thought but I managed to stop it coming out of my mouth. I took a deep breath to calm myself down, "I called you to stop you from coming yet you still turned up, I didn't have any other choice"

He shook his head but didn't say anything.

I turned to Sam, "okay explain about Anna"

"Erm…you saw the news right?" he wondered.

I nodded yes. Of course I had seen the news.

"Well" he thought for a moment, "she escaped from the hospital and went to the church, we found her there and Alistair showed up…we umm…lost the knife"

"Knife? What knife?" I stared at them.

"The demon killing knife" Dean told me like it was obvious.

I scoffed, "Alistair still…around?"

I couldn't really say alive, he was technically dead. But not…

"Yep" the answer dragged me away from that strain of thought.

Sam continued on, "then we go to this shack in the woods. Suddenly Cas and Uriel turn up and say they want to kill her"

"They give a reason why?" I wondered.

"All they said was that she wasn't innocent" Dean added then turned to his brother, "whatcha find out about her?"

"Her latest psych episode wasn't the first" he started and his brother leaned over his shoulder to view the file.

"Whatcha mean?" I asked them.

Sam shook his head in disbelief, "apparently when she was two she thought her dad wasn't her dad…and that her real daddy was really mad. As in going to kill her mad"

I whistled, "that's a bit…"

"Heavy" Dean finished, "anything else?"

"Naw, saw a shrink and grew up normal" he finished.

I caught something out of the corner of my eye. Near the doorway. It had looked like a pair of wings, that were dying. They must've been rotten and they were skeletal. I turned my full attention to see a red headed woman standing there. This hazy image of the wings disappeared like it never existed. Ruby was standing behind her. My eyebrows were now hitting my hairline.

"So what's she hiding?" Dean asked aloud, it was like he was wanting an answer from God.

"Why don't you just ask me?" her voice was shaky but clearly angry.

Both the brothers craned their heads around to see the two beings stood there. There was one thing I knew for sure, this kid wasn't human.

"Is there a chance that you even know?" I directed at her. I knew there wasn't. Not consciously at least.

Her eyes dropped to the floor, "no…but…I don't know why they want me! I'd give anything to know why my parents are dead and why my life's been leveled"

I pursed my lips. That's what everyone says at first, I reckoned. After they knew they wanted anything to be innocent again. I knew I did.

"Let's find out" Sam suggested, "we'll get Pamela"

Dean perked up, "Pam! I can drive over and have her back here within an hour"

* * *

A few moments later he was in the Impala almost ready to leave. I leaned in through the window on the passenger's side and threw in a five dollar bill.

"Get me a burger or something on the way back" I pleaded.

"You're actually eating?" he was shocked, dumbstruck even.

I shot him an icy glare, "just go get the psychic and the burger"

* * *

I lounged on the sofa. An old tome sat comfortably on my lap, now I was learning exorcisms. I began to practice aloud, mumbling the Latin words to myself.

Ruby looked visibly uncomfortable in the corner, "do you have to do that?"

"You don't have to be in the room" I smiled then I thought of something, "you know of any way to send an angel back to heaven?"

She shook her head, "now will you cut that stuff out"

I closed the book with a snap, "fine"

Anna wandered into the room sniffling a little. She had been crying. She came and sat next to me.

"Hey" I said softly, "you okay?"

She smiled weakly, "better thanks…they told me about you"

"They did?" I balanced the book precariously on top of a pile.

"Yeah, said that you're a half breed or something and that the angels are deciding whether to kill you or not" she looked at me.

I stared back into her blue eyes, I got the strongest feeling that something was sleeping under those eyes, "yeah well that's me, the freak"

She shook her head, "I was wondering if I was like you? Do you hear voices?"

"No" I answered both questions with the one harsh word, "I don't hear anything in my head, I see things more than anything"

"Oh" she sighed, "you see anything about me?"

I could feel Ruby's eyes on me. The strength of the gaze made me gulp, "No, only that you've got enough to deal with"

I saw Sam hovering around the door way near the stairs. I got up and motioned with my eyes for him to follow me. I went down into the basement.

"What's up?" he asked me.

I cast a nervous glance upstairs, "Anna…she's…"

"What?" he put his arms on my shoulders, "what is it Rox?"

I had never told anyone about what I saw. I was pretty sure that Cas could see what I did though, he had to. He was a freaking angel. The rosary had grown hotter. Probably as he searched frantically through the piece of wood to find me.

My voice was almost a whisper, "I can _see_ her…"

He was confused.

"I can see things, like demons and all that but with her it's like there's something dormant in her. I don't know what it is and I'm seeing skeletal things around her shoulders sometimes, like out of the corner of my eye" I babbled, "they look like _wings_, Sam. Rotting, dead wings"

There was a knock upstairs as the door opened, "Sammy! We're back!"

He had a pained look on his face, "you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure, she has to be an _angel_, a _fallen_ angel" I hissed.


	29. The Psychic

**Chapter Twenty Nine- The Psychic**

_Hey dudes :) Thanks for reading/reviewing! You're all so awesome :D thank you again to Rachy who helped me with Cas's nickname a la Pam. Enjoy!_

Sam barely had a chance to comprehend my words. Almost when I had finished speaking them, feet clambered down the wooden stairs close by. He stared at me for a few moments before trying to act normal.

"Rox" Dean gave me a playful slap on my back along with brown paper bag, "double cheese burger"

"Thanks" I sighed and noticed that there was a woman stood slightly behind him.

She was about the same height as me but I noticed that she was wearing a pair of high heeled boots. Jeez she was short. Her hair was curly and there was a pair of dark sunglasses sat on her face. But there was something about her. She seemed wiser than her years could've allowed. She looked so open minded. She smiled at me, nearly all of her pearly white teeth were showing.

"Hey" she grinned then her body shifted towards Sam, "is that Sam over there?"

"Yeah, Pam, it's good to see you" he hugged her tightly.

She chuckled, "Huh, is that a blind joke?"

I couldn't help but smile as Sam shifted from foot to foot. He was clearly awkward.

"Ah I was joking," she smiled again and flirted with the two brothers, "eyes off my rack while I'm working guys"

Ruby and Anna shuffled down the stairs to join us all. I caught a flicker of the wings, for a moment I thought I saw scrapes of flesh hanging off the interconnecting bones.

Pam touched Anna's arm sympathetically, "it's okay, I'll be down there in a few minutes"

She moved away then, over into the panic room. When she passed I had to stop myself from retching, I swore I actually smelt rotting flesh. The brothers eyed me warily as I clenched my jaw tight and looked away. I noticed that the hell bitch hovered around outside still keeping an eye on the not-so-human-girl.

Pam turned to me, "so you're Roxanne"

It wasn't a question, just a statement.

I nodded, "it's Rox, and you're the psychic"

"Not as dumb as you look" she chuckled and lifted her glasses down a little. Her eyes were bright white, Alistair white. But there was no evil underneath them. They were plastic.

"What happened?" I fumbled with the paper bag.

She shrugged, "an angel happened…"

I glanced quickly at Sam. He knew what I was getting at. Could this woman see and smell what I did? Could she sense the same things?

"Umm, Pam?" he started.

"Yeah, Hun?" her grin returned.

He gulped, "Can you see anything strange about Anna?"

Pam's face crumpled a little, "no, all I know is something isn't right. Take Rox for example, if Pecs over here," she jammed her thumb over at Dean, "hadn't had told me about her all I'd know is that something isn't quite right"

"Huh" I pondered.

The brothers went off to join the others in the panic room leaving me and Pam to ourselves for a little while.

I sighed. Sometimes all of this was just too much to take in.

"Kid" Pam glanced at me, "I know about the blood binding between you and feathers"

"You do?" I clutched at the rosary. It was warm but dulled by the hex bag that I was carrying in my back pocket.

She nodded, "it'll cause a lot of trouble, I know that much"

"Trouble seems to be my only constant at the moment" I looked down the corridor and decided to tell her, "I see what she is…"

"What's that?" she asked me.

"Fallen" I whispered the word and she grasped what I meant immediately.

"She doesn't know?" she considered. There was wariness in her now. At least I wasn't the only one.

I relaxed a little, "she doesn't remember"

Dean's head appeared at the iron door, "you guys coming or what?"

* * *

Little more than ten minutes later I was perched on top of the desk eating my cheese burger. I had actually forgotten the last time I had the chance to eat one of these things. Ruby was outside as always, Sam stood nearby and then there was Dean sat on the rickety old chair. Pam was currently forcing Anna into a trance. She was a little more reserved than she had been with her before.

"Okay, I want you to think back, to when you were really young. Only a couple of years old" she soothed.

The comatose woman shook her head, "no, no, I don't want to"

"That's okay" she pondered, "all I need is one little look, just one look"

After a few seconds she started screaming and withering on the bed. Dean nearly launched himself on her.

"Anna! Are you okay?" he shouted.

"No!" Pam warned.

I lashed out with my hand and caught him by the arm before he could touch her skin. He gave me a bizarre look. I merely shrugged.

She continued to wither.

"Anna! When I count to five, you'll awake. One. Two, three, four, five" she counted quickly.

Her screams stopped and she opened her eyes. Really opened them. She remembered. Anna quickly sat up and regarded us all.

No one said anything.

"It's okay, I'm an angel" she smiled gently.

"A _fallen_ angel" I corrected.

* * *

Not long later we were all upstairs, Dean was currently driving Pamela home. I couldn't blame her for wanting to get out of this. A part of me wished that I could've gone with her. Anna was pacing the room and I couldn't go too close to her. The smell of those wings nearly knocked me out when I followed her up the stairs. I huddled close to the wall and kept peering out of the window every so often. Ruby was being her usual self. Annoying. She kept sliding remarks in whenever possible and whispering in Sam's ear.

"So, Cas and Uriel wanna kill you?" I reiterated still trying to get my head around the whole situation.

She stopped pacing and looked up, "Yeah"

"Any idea why?" Sam questioned.

"Look at what the last fallen angel turned into" Ruby quipped.

Anna shrugged, "same hymn sheet, different verse I guess"

"So what happened?" I asked with a sigh.

"Umm" she started to bit her lower lip, "I just wanted to feel. I was sick of being a statue, sick of having to obey a father that I had never met and wasn't even sure existed-"

"What?" I broke her off, "wait, I thought that angels _had_ to believe in God. It's sorta a given"

She looked ashamed, "we do…if we don't we die"

"What?" Sam gaped.

"Only four angels have seen God's face and there are thousands of us. I lost my faith and I fell" she explained simply.

"Like literally fell?" he asked.

She nodded.

Ruby turned the conversation back towards more practical matters, "so how are we gonna fight both heaven and hell? It's like Mothera and Godzilla"

After a moments silence Anna perked up, "I could get my Grace back"

"Grace?" I eyed her warily.

"Its energy" she started then added, "that shimmery stuff under an angel's eyes"

"Ah" I gulped. How the hell did she know what I could see?

The other two looked at me and I merely shook my head. It was too difficult to explain to myself let alone anyone else.

"So this Grace" Sam pondered, "can it be seen like a meteor or something? By humans I mean."

She had to take a moment to think about it, "Yeah I guess so"

I saw a pair of headlights come up the drive. I glanced quickly at my watch. It was past three in the morning. I wondered whether Zach would drop back early.


	30. Barn

**Chapter Thirty- Barn**

_Well, chapter thirty then. I'd like to say Thankies to everyone who's read or reviewed this fic :) I really owe you guys one. I forgot to thank fansCastiel for taking the trouble of sending me a link! So here it is, thank you :D Enjoy the chappy!_

Dean got out of the impala a few minutes later. He seemed to be more down than usual. Even in the dark I could see how much his shoulders were hunched and just how furrowed his brow was. I swiftly left my post at the window and at the bewilderment of the others ghosted my way out of the room.

Behind me I heard Ruby mumble, "what is it now?"

I met him at the front door. Well I opened it just as he was taking the first step on the porch. His raised his eyes and looked back at the floor pitifully. I stepped out and softly closed the door behind me.

"What's wrong?" I asked. There was a slight tremor to my voice, only barely hidden by my lapping courage. Whatever he was going to say, it wasn't going to be good.

He merely shook his head, "I'm sorry…"

The man looked like he was going to break down. I motioned for him to sit down on the step. I sat with him and glanced out at the darkness. There wasn't much out there, I could still feel demons but they were farther back now. Maybe they were afraid of this Anna.

"About?" I gulped.

He looked over at me with tears in his eyes, "Alistair knows she's here…he's gonna come here Rox"

"How?" I whispered, "How does he know?"

"Casey, we saw her at a gas station just before I dropped Pam off" he told me then added, "he's gonna come and get you…"

I snorted and leaped up, "he can try"

He gazed at me bewildered. I noticed that was my growing affect on these guys. But this wasn't the only thing bothering him, I guessed being a hunter was full of crap like this. I turned and saw the others at the open door.

"How long we got before he shows up?" I asked Ruby.

She looked shocked that I'd asked her, "Umm, I dunno. A few minutes maybe, he doesn't like to mess around"

Anna shifted from foot to foot.

Sam eyed us all, "so are we gonna fight or run?"

"Run" I sighed, "if we get hold up in there then we can't get to Anna's grace and Zach has to come back remember?"

He nodded, "Can everyone fit in the impala?"

I shrugged, "I'm gonna lock up"

* * *

Five minutes later, the boys had concluded that there was enough space for three women in the back seat. This must've been a secret fantasy for the older Winchester.

"Hehe" Dean chuckled, "Any room for me back there?"

He'd lightened up in the few moments it had taken me to lock the front and back doors of Bobby's place. I eyed him warily. I was stuck in the middle, between a demon and an angel. I was starting to get a sense of déjà vu.

"Dean," he brother pursed his lips, "this isn't porn"

This earned him a glare as we started to move away from the house. I hoped Ruby was wrong about Alistair only being a few minutes away. Anna rolled the window down and I got a fresh whiff of rotten flesh. I wretched involuntarily.

"Close the damn window" I panted as I felt my stomach starting to give up its contents, "unless you want bile and cheeseburger all over your freaking bones!"

She closed the window as quickly as possible. Ruby laughed a little. She knew full well what I was referring to. The men in the front seat weren't.

Dean glanced backwards, "what?"

I shrugged and saw it. The twisting mass in the middle of the road. It was stood still, waiting for us to come to them.

"Look out!" I screamed, screwed my eyes shut and braced myself against the impact.

It didn't come though. I heard the yelps and words of alarm from the others but we didn't hit it.

I heard a few words close to my ear just as I started to open my eyes, "See you soon, my dear"

"What the hell?" Dean shouted and glanced about wildly, "what was that sonofabitch?"

I sat back in the chair, "Alistair, it was Alistair"

I knew that voice anywhere. As we all tried to recover from the incident we carried on at a decent speed towards somewhere Sam and Dean considered to be 'safe'. I fumbled with the rosary. It was still dulled and I was reminded of the hex bag poking me in the ass.

* * *

This safe place wasn't too far away and we were there before dawn started to break over the horizon. It was a barn. I studied the devil's traps, protection sigils and hiding markers from my position against some hay. I'd sat myself opposite Anna whose head was tilted to the side in an unsettling way.

The others were outside somewhere. Probably checking the outside or drowning their sorrows with a beer from the cooler that Dean kept in the trunk.

Anna turned to me suddenly, "You know that the angels will probably kill you"

"What?" I began paying attention.

"They're not going to let you live. It's not in their nature. Well…" she stopped, "it may be in Cas's but not in the others"

I gulped, "thanks for the heads up"

She smiled and went back to whatever she was doing.

"Uh-oh" she began, "this isn't good"

"What isn't?" Sam wandered in.

"Umm" she continued, "The angels are talking again…they want you to give me up or they…hurl Dean back into damnation"

"Crap" was the general conclusion after that. Anna disappeared off for a while and Sam and Ruby were sat coming up with a plan. Apparently I couldn't even listen to it because of the rosary. It'd give us away. A valid point. In the end Ruby approached me for the hex bag and I gave it to her gratefully. I did not like having god knows what and black magic sitting in my back pocket.

* * *

I checked my cell and rubbed my eyes. The little LCD screen lit up and told me that it was just seven a.m. It also told me that I had three missed calls from Bobby. I glanced around quickly and noticed that the demon was gone. Only Sam was in the corner where they had been sitting.

I pressed the dial button.

"Rox!" the man sounded angry yet relieved, "What the hell have you been playing at?"

"Nothing, my cell was on vibrate" I told him.

He barked a laugh, "so was the house phone on vibrate too?"

_Awww damnit. _

"Umm" I stalled, "I went out…I'm kinda busy at the moment. Can I call you back?"

I hung up before he had a chance to answer. I wasn't looking forward to when he got back from his hunt.

Sam chuckled at me.

"What?" I quizzed with a smile.

He shook his head.

"No, what?" I asked him.

He laughed a little more, "I can just imagine what you were like in your teens. Avoiding the call is a bit…naughty teenager"

I mocked shock, "it's not like you were an angel"

He agreed and the doors opened behind me. It was just Dean and Anna. I rolled my eyes, he couldn't help himself could he? Sleeping with a fallen angel. Although it didn't surprise me much. It was _Dean_ after all.

Sam leaned towards me, "just follow our lead okay?"

I heard footsteps coming from either side of the barn. From the two different entrances. One group was closer than the other. I could feel two angels at the door to my left. Cas and Uriel. It had to be. However, I noticed that the second group was made up of demons. The doors opened and there was a strong gust of wind. I tried to prepare and calm myself for what was going to happen.

But a part of me just kept screaming for Cas. I feared that it might've been my heart.


	31. Crowbar

**Chapter Thirty One- Crowbar**

_Heehee, Cas is back :D Enjoy!_

My breathing started to become shallow and fast. I clenched my jaw as I followed the others out into the centre of the barn. I was stood at the end, close to Sam. Suddenly the rosary became hot again, almost too hot. I didn't dare raise my eyes. I knew they were stood there. I grew faint. There was too much oxygen in my system. I tried to calm myself.

_In through the mouth_

"Hello Anna, it's good to see you" his voice hit me like a train.

_Out through the nose_

The rosary panged. I didn't look up.

_In through the mouth_

"How can you do this?" Sam asked next to me.

I glanced up then. My curiosity got the best of me. My eyes met those bambi blue ones. His head was tilted to one side. Those eyes distracted me from my calming moment.

_Out through the mouth._

It came out shuddering. I gulped and distantly felt the niggling of the demons at the back of my consciousness.

"It's nothing to do with you, hand her over. _Now_" Uriel demanded.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Anna kiss Dean. The rosary dimed a little. Cas was staring at them. Just staring. If I didn't know better, I would've said he looked hurt. Then I wondered, did I know better?

The demons were getting closer. My urge to glance over to getting strong but I didn't dare. Follow their lead, I reminded myself. That's when I realized Ruby wasn't around. She hadn't come back.

"What about you abomination? Why aren't you at home where you belong?" Uriel taunted me. I cast him a glare that could've turned a human being to stone.

Cas sighed heavily, "that is not why we are here, let us complete our orders"

"I forgot, you have a soft spot for the girl" he quipped.

He didn't deny it either. He just looked down at the floor.

Anna stepped out in front of us, "here I am, no tricks"

"I am truly sorry" Cas barely lifted his eyes from the ground.

She shook her head, "you don't know the feeling"

The doors behind us flew open. I turned quickly and saw Alistair stood there with a couple of lackeys, who were holding Ruby between them. There was a deep red stain across her shirt. I'd wondered where that damn bitch had gotten too.

"Don't touch a hair on that poor girls head" Alistair sneered at Anna.

Ruby was dropped and she crawled over to a corner out of the way. I felt rough hands on my arms as I was pulled out of the way. I barely noticed that it was Dean. The angels and demons exchanged harsh words.

The only ones that I heard were, "leave now or we lay you to waste"

They ricocheted around my skull, everything seemed to slow down. I wasn't moving much so Dean nearly had to drag me to the side. Alistair was there and I was terrified. Casey, I could cope with but not him. Not that monster that had cut me up and left me for dead.

The demons didn't move. They launched at each other then. Uriel pinned on demon against a beam and held his hand to the skin. There was a flash of light and the demon was gone, but so was the innocent whose body it had been in.

Another demon went for Cas. I barely noticed that the brothers have forced Anna behind them in the corner and were trying to do the same with me. As Cas was thrown up against a wall I regained my senses. Real time started up again.

"Rox! Move damnit!" Dean was saying to me.

I turned to face him, "sorry…"

He didn't have to drag me after that and I moved with him. Until a sudden and painful pang in the rosary stopped me dead. I gasped in pain and clutched it tight. I turned to see that Cas had been injured by the other demon.

"Rox! Look out!" I heard Ruby shout behind me from across the other side of the barn.

In the few seconds it had taken me to look back, Alistair had been able to get close to me without anyone noticing. He gripped my arm tight and yanked down hard.

"Does this remind you of something?" he asked me nasally as I looked up at him.

My eyes were as wide as a rabbit caught in headlights and I tried to pull away. I couldn't though, he was too strong. Dean punched him but with a mere flick of the hand the man was thrown over to the other side of the barn.

He then reached for my throat with his free hand with lightning speed and accuracy. He gripped me tight, he was putting a steady but disabling pressure on my windpipe. I was easy to manipulate after that. He pushed me up against one of the wooden beams behind me. My head hit it with a large thump, the pain seemed to echo inside my skull, going on for a lifetime. I could feel the roughness through my jacket. There were loose splinters biting into my skin. He started to lift me up until I was a foot over his head. My feet were nowhere near the floor. I gripped at his arm and struggled trying to free myself.

It was no use however and while the other battled each other he cackled up at me. Clearly he was enjoying the situation much more than I was, "Oh Roxanne, you know it's no use. You're so weak, but you could be strong. You could be so much stronger"

I coughed a little and gave him a disgusted look, "its Rox"

"Rocks?" he joked and tightened the grip on my throat, "Choose. Us or them?"

I threw my head back a little, just so I didn't have to look at that smirking face of his. I glanced around once more. Uriel was still busy fighting the other demons, he hadn't even noticed yet. Not that he'd care much. Dean was currently crouched in pain close to Ruby. The human looked like he was going to attempt an idiotic dash across the battlefield. Sam was guarding Anna but he was looking quickly between me and Dean. They were going to try something stupid. Something that could get them both killed.

Then I twisted my head to my right and saw Cas. He was battling fiercely with two demons who were giving as good as they got. They didn't allow him enough time for him to connect his palm to their bare skin.

The grip tightened, "Roxanne, I'm getting impatient"

I looked away and croaked, "Humanity, you bastard"

I prayed then. Or maybe I just hoped. I couldn't tell the difference at the best of times.

Someone help me, don't let them get themselves killed…please…

Sam and Dean nodded and they started to move.

"Oh that is such a pity, my dear" the grip tightened even more around my neck. I could feel the pressure increasing inside my head. The throbbing pain blinding me with dark spots in my vision.

_Cas!_

My brain was screaming for him. There wasn't anything else that I could think of. I needed him. I actually needed him to save me.

Suddenly, just before I was going to pass out, the pressure released me and I fell to the floor in a heap. I struggled to take a few breaths before I looked up. Alistair was now fighting with Cas. He had pulled him off me. He had heard me.

I felt a concerned hand on my shoulder, "Rox, are you okay?"

I managed to nod yes to them. I didn't know who it was, I was having trouble focusing. I heard commotion as Cas placed his hand to Alistair's head. He couldn't do it. He pushed him up against another beam.

"Now if only I knew how to kill you" Alistair grinned, "shame all I can do is send you home"

He started to recite an incantation. The white light I seldom saw rippling beneath the surface of Cas's skin was being forced out of him. There was an iron crowbar nearby. I picked myself up and grabbed it. Behind me I heard concern as Sam and Dean tried to stop me.

When I was close enough I swung high and hard, hitting the back of Alistair's skull hard enough to make him drop the angel.

"You just don't give up do you" he growled but before he could reach me Cas initiated another fight with him.

Another demon tried to sneak up on me but I hit them just below the jaw. It sent them staggering backwards into the hands of Uriel. He quickly got rid of them. That's when I noticed the shining pendant around his neck. Grace.

"You have her grace" I barely whispered it. I glanced quickly at Anna and then back at Uriel. He noticed and started to advance on her. She had been left wide open. I knew that I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I did nothing. I rushed forwards and yelled his name. He looked back and that gave her enough time to grab the pendant.

"Close your eyes!" she bellowed.


	32. Consequences

**Chapter Thirty Two- Consequences **

_Hey! Sorry this is a tad late, I was planning on writing this earlier than the weekend seeing as me and a few friends went to an all night party. Hey-ho, I forgot about this though D: Hope you all enjoy this even though it's a little short! Oh yeah, and a Gabe plot decided to attack me. Damnit, I may work on that now -_-_

I narrowed my eyes and turned away. I crouched down too, who knew what was going to happen when an angel consumed their grace? I guessed it wasn't going to be healthy for anyone around. I saw Sam and Dean obey her word for word. I couldn't see Ruby from where I was but I guessed she was doing the same. Unless demons were somehow immune from seeing an angel, grace and all. Cas and Alistair had stopped fighting. The blurry figure of the demon, which was what Alistair was when I was squinting my eyes, dashed past the angel towards this end of the barn. I braced myself for the moment when he ghosted past me. It sent a shiver down my spine and caused goose pimples to rise on my skin. It also caused my eyes to widen in horror at the feeling. It had to be the worst feeling I knew. Worst _physical_ feeling. I had endured emotional feelings that were worse by far.

Behind me there was a scream and a bright light. It was brighter than anything I had ever seen. It was so bright I thought my retinas were going to be incinerated. Even though I was facing the opposite way. Then I heard a high pitched wailing. I clutched at my ears in pain, it changed to buzzing and for a second I thought that I could hear distinguishable words through the noise. Cas was staring wide eyed at the scene. After the light died down, I felt his eyes on me. I looked up tentatively and let go of my ears. He seemed to be calm and then a strange look moved across his face for a few seconds as he looked into my eyes. Relief? Fear? Disappointment? Or maybe all three rolled into one. Or just none of the above. It was hard to tell. He looked away then. Choosing to look at the floor now. That hit me harder than it should've done. I felt my heart sink within my chest.

I took a shaky breath and remembered that it was over. This whole damn fallen angel thing was over. I had a little less to worry about now. I rose to my feet and I had to clutch onto the wooden beam nearby for support. My legs were weak. What was that that noise? Could anyone else hear it? I closed my eyes and rubbed the bridge of my nose. I couldn't think.

That's when Uriel decided to start, "You abomination! How dare you interfere with our mission?"

I turned to find him advancing towards me with a murderous look set deep in his eyes. My breath caught as I stood there wondering what to do. I didn't put it past the angel to try and kill me, even without the orders and with his superior here.

I stepped backwards in fear, nearly stumbling over my own feet as I hurried to get away from the approaching holy avenger, "I-I-I" I stumbled over my words too.

"Don't try to justify your actions, half breed" he bellowed at me.

I realized I was starting to run out of space behind me, "I didn't _do_ anything!"

"Lies! All your words are the filthy little lies of a demon!" he seethed and produced a sliver spike from his sleeve.

A part of my mind couldn't help but ask the mental question, _Where did that come from?_

I brushed it aside though and screamed back, "I'm not a demon!"

"You're no better than Azazal, Alistair, Casey or even that stain Ruby" he continued to assault me with words.

I started to circle round. I just hoped he didn't come head on at me. The two brothers didn't know what to do. How the hell could they take on an angel and win? The answer was that they couldn't. Ruby wasn't much help, she was still injured and hiding out in the corner.

"Anna took her grace back, I didn't give it to her. She took it from you!" I defended myself.

He scoffed, "she wouldn't have gotten it if you hadn't distracted me"

I couldn't hold my tongue back any longer and spoke before I thought about my words, "isn't that more of a reflection on you?"

He lunged at me then with that metal spike aiming straight for my throat. I managed to dodge him but the metal scraped my skin. I clutched it in pain and felt blood filling up my palm. He disappeared then, I looked around worriedly. Where had that sonofabitch gotten too? The brothers were beckoning me over to them. I was about to join them when I heard a flutter of wings behind me. I closed my eyes briefly in horror and turned.

"Angel breath, get away from her!" I heard Dean shout.

"I don't think that's gonna work, Dean" Sam told him.

Uriel was staring down at me with the spike raised over his head ready to send it plunging into my skull by the look of it. I gulped and scuttled backwards again. I let go of my neck as he rushed towards me. Then I felt something under my foot and I couldn't regain my balance. I felt the floor on my back next. I tripped over my own feet. Uriel was going to kill me. I was absolutely defenseless, yet again. He was then standing at my feet with a malicious grin.

Suddenly there was a figure between us. A trench coat clad man. I could only see his back. Cas was saving me. Again. I knew I had to be becoming a burden round about now. It impressed me though, that he was still willing to save me. Even though he always waited till the last minute.

"Stand aside, Castiel" Uriel growled, "She made us fail. She must die"

"No" Cas answered, "I shall not stand aside and if you do not stand down then you know what I shall have to do"

The other angel seemed to consider this for a few moments then said to him, "you had best alter your loyalties when the decision is made, Brother, or she will not be the only one I am destroying."

"Leave, now" Cas told him sternly.

A short snarl escaped from Uriel but he disappeared without another word. The fluttering of wings was a welcome relief after what had happened.

"Nice to see you stuck up for her in the end" Dean told him harshly, "hadn't you best make sure he doesn't kill anyone else? Or maybe go after Anna? Or are you scared?"

He ignored him. I guess he was doing what could only be called regaining his composure. I felt like standing up and holding him then. But I didn't dare. This strange urge didn't leave me until he spoke.

Cas turned round to me and said formally, "Rox, I shall see you back at Bobby's" then he disappeared after his companion. The rosary sent sad shivers through me. Had what I did been that bad? I guess it had been.

I was left reeling on the floor and tried my best to hide it from the others who talked to one and other. They tried to talk to me but I was didn't talk back. I didn't join it until Dean mentioned taking me back to the house as soon as possible. Somehow I managed to hold back the tears that I didn't know were there.


	33. Coffee

**Chapter Thirty Three- Coffee**

_Hey! Half term's over so that mean's I have to go back to college, no more plot writing for me! Ah well, at least I'm well on my way to driving! Passed my theory :D Hope you all enjoy this one! :) _

The drive back was pretty much uneventful. Ruby has chosen to lay low on her own for a while rather than ride around with the Winchesters and me in the back of the Impala. For once I couldn't blame her. Last night's events had taken their toll on all of us. It was mainly silent in the car. Even Dean's metal tapes weren't playing. I started to thumb with the upholstery in the back seat. There were still stains on the seats. Dean had only been able to remove some of my blood from the fabric. The rest still sat there darkening the material.

"I wonder how she's doing" Dean cleared his throat, "I mean, she's got her mojo back"

Sam sighed, "Anna's fine. She was their boss remember"

"I hope she kicks Uriel's ass after what he did" the older brother said, "Rox, you okay?"

I looked up and met his eyes through the rear view mirror, "I'm fine"

I wasn't. I really was not fine. I knew it, Dean knew it, Sam knew it. Hell even Ruby had gotten the freakin' idea. But they didn't question me further.

Sunlight nearly blinded me as it was reflected off of another car that had just over taken us on the highway. I turned my head and looked out over the country side wondering how much longer I was going to feel like this.

* * *

A few hours later and we had arrived outside the front of Bobby's house. The sign at the side of the house that proclaimed it to be 'Singer's Auto Yard' swung slightly in the light afternoon wind. Luckily the house hadn't changed during the time that I had gone. It was going to be one thing trying to explain the events that had taken place since his departure to Bobby let alone telling him that the demons had destroyed half the house. I had expected the demons to have burnt it down. I got out of the vehicle and slammed the door shut which earned me a suppressed glare from Dean. His jaw was tight as I wandered towards the front porch. I didn't pay him any attention though, he'd get over it.

When I was stood on the wooden porch and selecting the right key from the many I had for the house, out houses and garage something shifted inside the house. I stared at the window trying to peer through into the room beyond. It settled as I focused and I saw Cas staring back at me. Our eyes met only for a second and then he looked away. The rosary dimmed further. I bit my lip just to stop myself shouting or screaming or crying.

_I should've know_, a harsh voice sounded in my head. I knew it wasn't my own but its strength worried me. I hadn't heard anyone else's voice in my head since Tess had tried to reap me.

It unsettled me for a fraction of a second and Sam picked up on it as he joined me on the porch, "You okay? You seem kinda rattled."

"Wha-oh" I was brought back to reality and lied, "I'm fine, just a little tired."

He nodded and cast a glance back at his brother who was busily talking to someone on his cell phone, "I bet that's Bobby"

"I am not looking forward to that conversation," I commented as I twisted the key in the lock and entered the house.

I dropped the keys on the table by the door and wandered on through to the kitchen. When I passed through the living room, Cas looked at me. He seemed hurt and formal, very, very formal. Like he had been when he first came to me. Neither of us spoke, we just stared for a few moments. Then I became all too aware of the tall man's presence behind me. I lowered my head and continued into the kitchen. I hastily filled the kettle with water and turned it on. Next I set up a coffee pot for us.

"Neither am I to be honest," Sam continued our conversation from earlier as he took a seat at the table.

"He's gonna kill me," I blabbered, "Bobby's gonna kill me"

"What?" for a second he thought I was serious. The relief showed on his face and he looked back into the other room, "I think Cas should be more worried than you."

Cas was leaning against the wall in that room. He could keep an eye on me without actually being near me. That hurt me but I reasoned that I must've hurt him more. He gave the human an almost sarcastic glance before returning to his statue like pose.

"I think he's just gonna be pissed that you lied when we were at the barn, that's all" Sam tried to console me.

I scoffed, "I nearly forgot about that…"

The next moment Dean entered the house from the front and nearly bumped into the angel because of where he was standing. He nearly scared him to death.

"Dude," he sighed before weaving around him and coming into the kitchen to join us. He mouthed silently to us, "What's up with him?"

We both shrugged and he pulled up a chair next to Sam. The action didn't go unnoticed by the celestial being who huffed a little. The kettle began to whistle enthusiastically and I sorted the coffee out. Pouring three mugs full and handing them to the two men before sitting down myself.

"That was Bobby" Dean told us as he accepted his drink.

I held mine between cold hands in an attempt to warm them up, "we guessed."

He looked at me suspiciously, "you mean _you_ guessed?"

It was obvious what he was getting at. Did my magical hearing appear so that I could comfortably easdrop on a conversation?

"No," I answered, "Sam actually guessed"

"Huh," he considered and eyed his brother, "tell me you're not like her"

"No" Sam rolled his eyes, "you just looked like you were talking to Bobby"

He nodded a little, "Anyway, I filled him in about Anna and the whole angel thing. He says he's finished up over there and will be catching the next plane back"

"You tell him about the demons? Before you guys got here?" I asked tentatively wondering just how much I was going to have to explain to him myself.

He half shrugged, "I told him that they were nearby. I only gave him a brief overview. I didn't want to give the old guy a heart attack"

"When's he due back then?" Sam asked after a sip of coffee.

The older man did a few calculations in his head, "about eight o'clock he'll be at the airport, get here around nine I expect"

I glanced up at the clock. It was barely even one o'clock. That was more than enough time to catch some sleep, have a shower and grab something to eat while thinking of how best to explain everything to him. We finished our coffees together and continued to talk. The guys were planning on staying for another day at least. They joked that they weren't leaving me alone with Bobby. But like Sam had said, I didn't have anything to worry about. He was going to tear Cas a new one.

* * *

A few hours later I woke up from a little nap I had treated myself to. My bed felt more comfortable than I had thought possible and I had dropped off as soon as I closed my eyes. After my coffee, I had fixed myself something to eat and decided to let the guys fend for themselves when it came to food. I just couldn't be bothered to fix a full meal for three people. Before falling asleep I had scrubbed myself clean in the shower, the blast of hot water had made me realize just how tired I was.

I opened my eyes and yawned. The space outside my window was pitch black, I was starting to wonder how long I had been asleep. Cas was stood in the corner, a little reluctantly thought. He still hadn't spoke to me and now he wasn't even looking at me.

The only thing I could do was sigh and make my way downstairs. He followed several feet behind me obviously wanting to keep as much distance between us as possible. When I reached the living room I noticed the outline of two cars out front. My brow crinkled then I remembered that Bobby was coming back at nine.

I heard a low growl from the kitchen, "Tell me everything"

I sighed and realized that he was back.


	34. Explanations

**Chapter Thirty Four- Explanations**

_Time for Rox and the others to face the music! Or rather the sound of Bobby's shouting voice haha. Ah well, I've got a treat of a chapter lined up for next time! Enjoy :)_

I contemplated going back upstairs and pretending to sleep until the morning so that Sam and Dean could have the pleasure of telling him everything.

And bearing the brunt of his anger, I thought guiltily.

I eyed the stairs eagerly. But that would mean being stuck in a room alone with Cas again. I didn't think I could face that just yet. He was just being such an ass. Even now he was just hovering around the bottom of the flight of stairs. I momentarily glared at him.

"Rox? Is that you down there?" Bobby angrily called out to me from the kitchen. It looked like my decision had been made for me.

I sighed, "Yeah. It's me and Feather Butt in here"

I felt Cas' glare coming from the dark. I pretended not notice.

"Get in here will ya? I wanna talk to you" the middle aged man ordered me.

I complied; I wasn't in much of a position to argue. And we'd have to talk at some point. I stuffed my hands in the pockets of my jeans and somberly walked into the kitchen and took my seat at the table. I sensed Cas wander in behind me. He moved to the side of the room and aimed his stare out of the window.

Dean and Bobby were also sat down. Sam, however, was stood close to where Bobby was sat. He was probably a little wary of the older man jumping up and hitting something.

Bobby noticed him and waved his hand up at him, "sit down! I'm not gonna kill anyone you know"

Dean laughed at that as he took a gulp of his beer. Sam took a seat to my left while the older man glared at his almost son. He looked away not wanting the wrath of an already pissed off Bobby Singer on his ass.

"Start at the beginning," he said to all of us, "when I first left"

The three of us exchanged glances. How much were we going to tell him? Everything? Or will we miss out the little details? Like Uriel nearly killing me and Cas being swapped for Zach? Or Uriel nearly killing me?

"Get talkin' then!" he bellowed and shocked us all into action. Dean passed me a spare beer. Jeez, I knew I was gonna need it. I wasn't the only one drinking either, all three of the men had a green glass bottle in his hand.

"Umm" Sam started, "we left shortly afterwards to go get this Anna girl"

He glared at me next. The man wasn't half scary underneath that baseball cap.

It was my turn, "Ah, Cas was called away and Zachariah was called in to watch me"

Everyone flinched at that moment waiting for the onslaught of words.

"You left her?" he turned on the angel in the corner of the room.

He gazed at the human for a little while, "that is correct, as you know I serve _Heaven_ and _Heaven_ had need of me"

The old man then turned back to us of the non angelic variety with an offhand comment, "who shoved a crucifix up his ass…what happened next?"

Cas' reaction had shocked him enough not to shout and scream just yet. I wondered how long it would be until Bobby cracked.

I gulped, "well I managed to find out what this damn mark is" I pointed to the scar on my arm, "after that Dean called and said he needed to bring Anna to the house, Cas and Uriel were hot on their tails you see"

Dean gave an awkward smile, "couldn't do anything with an angel around…"

"So I got rid of Zach for twenty four hours" I took a deep breath, "but before they could get here demons attacked"

"What!" he almost screamed the word. The veins and arteries were throbbing in Bobby's neck. In a man his age, it wasn't a good sign. He had cracked like an egg.

I smiled sheepishly, "they umm, they started to cause bad weather you know? I reckon they were wanting to bash their way in. it didn't work though. When I tried to call these two to tell them not to be Anna anywhere near the house, they cut the line…"

"And?" he growled. He just knew when I wasn't telling him the whole tale.

"I grabbed a shot gun and went outside" my voice rushed out quickly.

"You Idjit!" he slammed down his bottle of beer, "you coulda been killed! And for what? Some damn girl you've never even met, these two mutton heads and a freakin' hell bitch!"

There were suppressed mumbles from the two brothers about being referred to as mutton heads.

I leaned back in my chair and sighed, "Casey didn't kill me"

"This time she didn't!" he scowled across the table at me, "you know girl you're like a daughter to me. If you were killed or hurt then I don't know what I'd do"

Everyone was taken aback by this revelation. No one knew how to react. It wasn't very often that Bobby showed this form of affection.

"Uhh, thanks Bobby" I paused, "you're like a Dad to me…even when you get angry"

He gave me a smile and I took this as my queue to continue with the story.

"So…after that the boys brought Anna and went to go get Pam. Turns out the college girl was actually a fallen angel" I scoffed, "then we…"

Dean took over, "I took Pam home and saw Casey on the way back. She said Alistair himself was gonna come and get her. We took her somewhere safe"

"Who went?" he questioned.

"Us three, Ruby and Anna" Sam answered him.

Surprisingly he didn't have anything to say about that. Part of me wondered if there was something other than beer in his bottle.

"We had this plan, bring the two armies together and get the hell out of dodge" the older Winchester told him.

"The next morning" I started, "Cas and Uriel showed up to kill her and so did Alistair and a couple of demons"

"They fought?" he queried.

I nodded, "Alistair grabbed me. He tried to choke me to death but" I glanced up at Cas. He was still refusing to look over or speak to me, "Cas saved me"

He raised his eyes for a split second then quickly looked away.

"Pah!" Bobby stated, "The least he shoulda done!"

"After that I hit Alistair around the back of the head. Anna got her grace back and everyone's happy" I said quietly.

"Apart from Uriel trying to murder you" the words slipped out of Dean's mouth before he realized what he'd said. His mouth did a quick turn from a smile to a frown.

"That great douche?" the bellowing Bobby was back, "What the hell has he got against you?"

Sam answered for me, "he thought that she helped Anna get her grace back"

I shrugged a shoulder not giving him a chance to reply, "after that we came here. Waited for you to get back"

I looked at Cas through the corner of my eye. He was now just solemnly with pursed lips choosing not to look at any of us. The rosary was still distant but now I could feel some form of emotion through it. Sadness. And something else. I could only class it as longing. But longing what I didn't know.


	35. Truth

**Chapter Thirty Five- Truth**

_Sorry this is a tad late! Been a bit hectic over here recently but it's up now! :D Although I really feel this could have been so much better. Oh well! Enjoy!_

"Is that everything?" Bobby asked with a sigh.

I nodded weakly and forced myself to tear my eyes away from the angel. Instead I chose to look at my hands in my lap that were holding my nearly empty beer bottle. I heard the others shuffle around a little. The refrigerator door opened and closed. The clank of bottles filled the air for a few moments and I heard the others walk off into the other room.

"Rox?" Dean asked me softly to grab my attention.

I looked up at him.

He gave me a small smile and asked, "You coming with us? Bobby's gonna tell us about his trip to the sandy graves of the Dominican"

It took me a few moments to reply. Strangely I had never seen his eyes so green and they mesmerized me for a moment. I shook my head and whispered, "No thanks, I'm just gonna go for a walk"

"Oh" he nodded but his voice was still quiet. Like he was afraid of being overheard, "don't go too far…"

"I won't" I smiled and I noticed Cas looking at us from the corner of my eye.

He returned it and disappeared off into the other room. I could hear the others talking lightly about Bobby's recent hunt. I glanced around the room for a second and noticed that Cas had quickly looked away. In fact, he was staring up at the ceiling.

I shook my head. This angel was even stranger than I had ever imagined.

_And a bigger ass then I ever imagined…_

My eyes widened. That was definitely _not_ my voice! I drank the rest of the beer before getting up and going for that walk. Maybe it was just the stress of everything getting on top of me? That had to be it. I mean, come on, no one can hack into my thoughts. Can they?

I contemplated getting my coat but decided I needed cold air on my skin right that second. I dumped the empty bottle on the kitchen worktop and left through the door. I was careful though not to break the salt line as I stepped out into the cold November night air. I had to maneuver carefully, there was something blocking a part of the door way.

I took a shaky, deep breath and let the crisp air fill my lungs. It was refreshing, so freaking refreshing. I could feel the chill in my bones and Goosebumps started to rise on my bare arms but they didn't bother me. I was cold and I felt it but it didn't hinder me in anyway.

I was barely aware of the demonic presence on the horizon. That background fuzziness as I walked once around the perimeter of the house. Castiel was trudging slowly behind me.

* * *

When I reached the door that led back into the kitchen I stopped walking and leaned against the wall of the house. My eyes closed as I gained my bearings and calm down. The events of the past few days tried to get on top of me. I opened them a few moments afterwards and saw Cas stood over ten feet away from me. He was starting to get on my nerves. We were going to have a heart to heart whether he liked it or not.

There was the little wooden bench nearby. It had been knocked out of place by the wind that the demons had cooked up. It was now sat diagonally making using the back door a little too difficult. I first dragged it away from the door then leveled it up with the wall behind. Cas kept peering at me quizzically but he was still refusing to talk. I hadn't had to deal with this behavior in such a long time!

I sat myself down on the wooden bench leaving more than enough space for him to sit down next to me. I adjusted my posture a little, leaning back and resting my hands in my lap. I could still see the cars and chain link fence that were a little over forty feet away from me. It began to snow lightly. The delicate pieces of ice were whipped up in the gentle wind and came to settle on my skin.

I could finally talk to Cas. I took a deep breath and asked out in the darkness, "Castiel?"

For a few moments there was a profound silence that made me begin to doubt. Was I right to ask and downright demand to know what his problem was? Was he even nearby? Had he simply taken the chance of a dark night to slip away before anyone realized?

Foolish doubts and fears, I knew. But a part of me still start to panic, just like a bird that had flown inside a room and couldn't get out. Fluttering and flying around inside me causing my breath to quicken slightly.

"Yes?" came the tentative reply from the darkness. His gravelly voice sounding ashamed.

The tone caught me off guard and I stumbled over my words, "Cas? Can you umm can you sit down please? I want to talk to you…"

Without a word he appeared next to me. He was still formal choosing to sit straight facing dead ahead rather than turning his head to look at me as I spoke.

"What's going on with you?" I asked bluntly, "you're being such a goddamn jerk!"

There seemed to be a delay between us. Like the words were going through a translator before being said to him. He had never had to _think_ about my words before. Not like this. He scoffed and shook his head gently.

"I forget that you do not think like angels" he said after a moment and became serious, stern even, "you are never aware of the danger you put yourself in, you do not think of the consequences of your actions and you have never even considered that you may die"

I shook my head, "I did what I thought was right! No one can do more than that. And I have considered it! I've come face to face with a Reaper, Cas."

Cas let me seethe silently for a few moments. He seemed to relax a little and glanced at me with pity in his eyes, "regardless you should not have sent Zachariah away, or gone out to face Casey or travelled with them. I am disappointed in you for having helped Anna in the way you did. It was unnecessary for you to distract Uriel and allow her to obtain her grace"

The rosary began to hum with emotion.

"I do not blame you for giving her shelter but you placed yourself in danger by doing so" he stated, "you do not know how much danger"

The rosary was almost blistering with sadness and regret.

I willed him to continue but he didn't. I opened my mouth and asked him, "What's wrong, Cas?"

His jaw was set hard, "after we left you at the barn, I followed Uriel to Heaven"

"What?" I asked struggling to keep my mouth closed.

He ignored my question, "I persuaded him not to go to our superiors and report what had happened regarding Anna"

I gulped and waited for him to speak.

"If they knew, they would kill you" he told me, "I do not know how long Uriel will keep his word. I have never mistrusted one of my brothers before"

"So if anyone else finds out…" I left the question hanging.

"They will execute you" he said bluntly, "although Zachariah is not aware of the events following his departure"

I barely nodded trying to take it all in.

"He was right," Cas said the words more to himself than to me.

"Who was?" I asked again wondering what other bombshell was going to be dropped.

He paused, "Uriel, I am too attached to you. It was foolish. Because of this attachment I am refusing to report upon the events involving Anna. I am…I am also beginning to doubt, Rox"

I took a deep breath to steady myself and placed a comforting hand on top of his. He seemed shocked at the touch to begin with but grew used to it and looked out over the yard. I wasn't aware how bad doubting to angels was but by the tone in his voice it was pretty terrible.

After a few moments I asked in a whisper, "What did Uriel mean when he told you to change your loyalties?"

"Nothing, he meant nothing" he swallowed and glanced away.

I was about to reply when a knock on the window behind us distracted me. I glanced behind to see Dean beckoning me inside. I left the angel sat where he was for the time being but as I entered the kitchen I had a strange feeling that I was being lied too.


	36. Sentence

****

Chapter Thirty Six- Sentence

_Well here it is! I've moved this fic along a little quicker than I had planned (mainly because there was nothing else to add in that I could think of!) Hope you like this one, things start to get violent! ;)_

I gave Dean a questioning look as the door clicked softly behind me, "what's up?"

"Me and Sam have gotta head out," he grimaced, "we got a call about this house, usual ghost haunting"

Nodding I looked around as the silence became uneasy.

"We're leaving now, Sammy's just getting a few things" he told me unnecessarily.

I nodded again peering out of the window to see that Cas was still on the bench, "good luck with it"

"Thanks" he gave me a weak smile.

"There something else, Dean?" I asked, "You seem a bit quiet"

He shook his head, "Hell just gets on top of you sometimes"

"Hmm," was all that I could say, "try talking to Sam or Bobby about it. They'll understand better than me"

Sam appeared at the door, "you ready?"

"Sure" was all the other man said as they both left the room and the house.

One thing was for sure. Dean was not coping with the time he spent downstairs, not that I could blame him. I still wasn't over my own ordeal with Alistair.

* * *

The next two weeks passed peacefully. The boys and other hunters called up from time to time, either for research and tips or just a good old chat. Cas was distant still but at least I knew why. There were times when he sat scowling at a wall and others when he just walked around depressed. I could sense through the rosary that a deep struggle was going on inside him, it was a struggle that I hoped he would never have to decide on. If Uriel kept his word and Zachariah never found out then everything would be fine. Well maybe not fine but at least I'd be alive.

The demons had stayed pretty quiet too. They were staying at a respectable distance, it seemed as if they were now scared of coming too close. I thought proudly that they had maybe heard of my unflinching face off with Casey. Even though it hadn't affected her, weaker demons would have been seriously injured by the confrontation.

* * *

One day, however, when the snow was thick on the ground everything came crashing down. Bobby was talking on the phone to Rufus and I was listening intently from my position sat at the kitchen table. He didn't mind much, it annoyed him however when I asked questions. Cas was stood by the door tilting his head to the side. Although he seemed frustrated.

"Anything wrong?" I asked.

He didn't bother looking, "most things in this world are wrong. You need to be more specific"

Rolling my eyes I asked again, "why are you frustrated at the current moment in time?"

"The Angel's are no longer talking. It is complete silence" he tried harder.

"So what? They're dead or something?" I wondered.

He shook his head, "no, they have merely made me unable to listen"

"Haven't ya paid your Angel-Heaven bill?" Bobby asked sarcastically as he tried to continue his conversation.

Cas just glared and turned to me clearly worried, "this may mean what I have been fearing, you need to leave…now!"

I stared back at him as if he'd gone mad. It took a few moments for me to understand his words. I pushed my chair backwards and made for the door. As I did Uriel appeared in my path. He smiled down at me as I started to back away from him.

Distantly I heard Bobby hang up, "I'll call you back"

"Hello Half-breed," he greeted me, "did my brother inform you of our arrival?"

All I could do was gape and turn around to see six other angels apart from Cas and Uriel in the room. They were stood strategically around the space, one by both doors, two directly behind me, one close to Bobby and another close to Cas who had a restricting hand placed on his arm.

_This is it…I'm going to die…_

"I told you I was going to enjoy this, you stupid little Mutt" Uriel sneered at me.

My feet scurried backwards in an attempt to get away from the malicious child of the Lord. I bumped into the two Angels stationed behind me. I felt two hands on my shoulders and two more on my wrists to restrict me.

A long silver spike appeared from Uriel's sleeve and he stalked closer to me. I struggled hopelessly against those binding me.

"It's no use" one Angel laughed behind me, "You're not going to escape us!"

Bobby lunged towards me and those binding me but he was pinned against the wall by the dick of an angel nearby.

"Get away from her!" he growled, "you're gonna regret this you stupid sonofabitch!"

Uriel rounded on him for a second, "shut your mouth mud monkey and we may just let _you_ live"

"Don't you dare threaten him," I snarled and distracted him from the much older man.

"You should be more concerned with yourself, if you haven't already guessed, our superiors have made a decision" he glared at me.

I scoffed sounded ten times braver than I felt, "was that before or after you betrayed another order from your superior?"

"Castiel's position has been demoted regarding his attachment to you," he smiled over my shoulder, "I am now _his_ superior! Restrain our brother!"

Behind me I heard a slight struggle that Cas lost. Tears were starting to gather in my eyes. It was one thing for me to die, but for Bobby and Cas to suffer as a result? That was unnecessary.

Uriel moved closer to me again brandishing the spike that he intended to run through me. I struggled even harder trying to free myself. I flung my arms around in an attempt to get free. The Angels were strong but after a few moments they were struggling to keep hold. I also kicked out with my legs to make their stance unsteady. It worked and I could feel their grip loosening.

"Keep her still!" Uriel shouted at the top of his voice. It was so loud that my ears began to bleed.

One of the Angel's hands moved down to my footprint brand. As soon as the vessels skin came into contact with the scarred area I cried out in pain. I screamed as a burning fire shot through my arm and into the rest of my body. I fought to get the hand off, I could hear their laughter ringing in my ears.

Cas was still bound himself and from what I could hear, obliging obediently. Tears brimmed over and spilled down my cheeks. I prayed to God that something would happen. That something or someone would help me.

"Cas!" I sobbed, "Bobby! Please!"

"Get away from her!" Bobby shouted at them to no avail.

Cas however, remained silent. The rosary blistered with subdued emotions. Anger, horror, despair, terror and many others. Why wouldn't he act on any of them? Why wouldn't he at least try like he had done before?

Then I remembered something, the demons would get the first chance to get close to me again. Regardless about the amount of angels surrounding me. They'd fight to keep me alive. They'd free me from the Angels. It was the only way out of the situation that I could see.

"Break the salt line!" I cried out, "You have to break the salt line!"

Bobby was nowhere near the window and would have died if he struggled any harder to get out of the Angel's grasp. It was up to Castiel. He had to do it.

"Cas!" I screamed, "You have to break the salt line!"

"Hold her still!" Uriel ordered again.

It didn't strike me how selfish I was being. If Cas obliged to my wish then he would be cast out from Heaven and have a price on his own head much like Anna. He would lose the only family he had ever known and be forced to roam the Earth amongst humanity who he barely understood.

"Please!" I sobbed and continued to kick and struggle, "Please…"

After a few more moments I felt the protective barrier that the salt provided disintegrate. Almost as soon as it was lifted Casey appeared behind Uriel along with at least twenty other demons scattered around the room. She smiled graciously at me, inclining her head an inch before Uriel turned to face her.


	37. Rage

**Chapter Thirty Seven- Rage**

_Here you go! I hope you enjoy this one!_

"Why hullo there big boy!" she laughed brazenly at the Angel.

Uriel was more angry than I had ever seen him, "Leave _now, _she devil"

Casey giggled for a moment and glanced around the room at her brethren. I could sense their stinking stain on existence as clearly as hearing the birds sing. There were twenty demons other than her in the room. They were surrounding each of the Angels. I sensed the strongest demons surround the two angels that still held me captive.

Two Demons stood just behind the Angel that held Bobby. I doubted that this reassured the hunter at all. Now the risk of him dying had just tripled in his eyes. I could sense his attention shift suddenly between his own captors, my own and the stand-off that was taking place between Casey and Uriel.

Castiel also had two demons surround him. He was still near the window. His brother who had held him was also surrounded by demons so he couldn't get to him. The rosary was almost alive with the amount of emotion raging through it. I could even feel emotion through the wooden beads that rested against the skin of my neck. This comforted me enormously.

However, tears caused from the painful fire were rolling freely down my cheeks. The Angel still had their freaking hand on my footprint, the pain was making it hard to concentrate. Sweat was beginning to form on my forehead and between my breasts. I tried to struggle but I was tiring so the effort was only a little less than pathetic.

"Really?" she cooed sweetly. Her voice turned more sour with every word, "We out number you over two to one and there are more of us beginning to gather outside. I think you should let go of Little Miss Powerful and run home to Daddy."

It was a miracle that Uriel didn't rip her throat out there and then. Instead he glared and a foul growl started to ebb from his body. It wouldn't be long before a fight was ignited. I could only hope that we got away before any of us died.

"Her fate has been sealed, you are too late" He growled at her.

She never took her black eyes away from him, "All the more reason she'll say yes to Lilith, don't you think?"

"I will not allow her to walk away!" he screamed at her before launching head first at the demon.

Casey dodged easily knowing what was coming. She laughed, "Kill all of them! Apart from the Half-Breed! Make sure none of them walk away!"

Fighting erupted around me. Uriel and Casey attacked each other. They threw each other against the walls of the house and swerved and threw vicious punches. The two Angels behind me struggled to hold on to me as well as fending off the four or so Demons that assaulted them from all sides. Bobby was still being pinned up against the wall while his Angel was hounded by the two Demons behind him. I could twist my body a little in his direction and saw that the Angel's grip was tightening. Bobby's face was starting to go blue.

"No," I gasped.

I could sense and hear Cas battling furiously behind me with two Demons and the one Angel whose grasp who he had escaped. I couldn't turn my body far enough to see him. I twisted my head so I could look over my shoulder at him. He was struggling. He wasn't going to win the fight.

I realized with a sickening feeling that we were all going to lose. We were going to die.

As Demons and Angel's fought each other, black smoke whirled around the room. It didn't settle anywhere and acted as if to distract the Angels. It had come in from the open window. I could see the yellowing teeth and horrible eyes within the smoke. They were more hideous than when they were possessing someone.

My breathing had become labored. The Angel's hand had not moved but I tried to muster the last of my energy so I could help my friends. I had to help them. I had to help Bobby. I had to help Cas.

I gritted my teeth against the pain and twisted sharply in the direction away from my captors. One of the Angels realized what I was doing and tried desperately to hold on to me but only managed to grab my fingers before I slipped out of their grasp. There was a sickening pop and I screamed out loud as my back hit the wall. I clutched at my injured hand and noticed that one of the Angel's was obliterating a Demon. The flash of light distracted me for a moment.

The next thing I knew was that one of the other Angels was rounding on me. I glanced around quickly as they showed their silver spike. They raised it up and lunged at me. Suddenly something pulled them backwards just before the spike came into contact with the soft skin just above my collarbone. Shortly afterward a spike was driven through their flesh and there was a bright light as they died.

The body slumped to the floor to reveal Anna with her own bloodied spike. She nodded at me, "get the others and go!"

I crouched down and grabbed the weapon that had nearly killed me and did what the fallen Angel had told me to do. I made my way across the room easily.

Bobby's face was now pale and his lips were blue as he struggled to breathe under the Angel's grasp. He was only warring with one Demon now. I clutched on the spike and raised it above my head before sending it crashing down in the Angel's back. It went deep enough for the Angel to release Bobby almost immediately but not deep enough to kill them. That didn't feel right. I wasn't ready to kill anyone. Especially one of Cas' brothers.

Bobby crumpled down on the floor and tried to catch his breath. I crouched down next to him after removing the spike from the Angel and picked the hunter up. The Demon's attention had been drawn from us by Anna as she threw it across the room.

"You okay?" I asked as we made our way over to Cas. We had to dodge and fight a little.

"I'll be better when we're out of here!" he shouted over to me.

A Demon leered in my face so I quickly elbowed them out of the way and ran over to where Castiel was fighting his brother and two other Demons. He was gravely injured and tiring quickly. I lashed out at one of the Demons out of pure anger and rage. A pure red mist descended over me. They had done this to him! How dare they?

"No!" I screeched.

I threw the vessel against the wall in total disregard for the poor person inside. Bobby watched worriedly before attacking the other Demon allowing Cas to focus on fighting the Angel. The Demon looked up at me smiling.

Blood was seeping from their mouth as they spoke to me, "you're the one. You're really the one. None of us thought you had it in you but you do. You're the one we've been waiting for."

I hissed at him, "and I'll be the last damn thing you see"

He didn't fight back or try to run. I guessed that Lilith had ordered that no one harm me. That, I realized, was a fatal mistake on her part.

"I'm not loosing anyone else" I felt the words escape from my lips before I really knew what I was doing or saying. I raised the silver spike above my head once more ready to send it crashing down on their skull.

A cool hand enclosed around my wrist. They lowered my hand calmly as the chaos around us.

"Leave them" a familiar voice sounded in my ear.

The red mist released me and I regained my senses. It was Cas that was holding my wrist and I dropped the spike.

He still kept hold of me as Bobby spoke, "We getting' outta here or what?"

I turned my head to see that the battle was still raging. I felt Cas' grip tighten.

"It would be best to close your eyes"

My eyes fluttered close and I experienced the strangest feeling. It was as if I was flying at a million miles per hour while being turned inside out and then the right way round again. I clutched on to the feeling around my wrist and hoped for the best.


	38. Oath

**Chapter Thirty Eight- Oath**

_A/N- Well, College is closed because of the snow (woo!) for two days. So I got bored and thought I'd indulge in a little writing time. I did my CV today so I deserved it! Enjoy! _

I stopped moving suddenly with such force that I was thrown to the ground. The feeling disappeared from my wrist and I began to wretch and gag on my hands and knees. My hair fell over my face. All I could tell about the place I had appeared in was that it was outside. I was kneeling on asphalt and could feel soft taps on my head and all over my body. I heard someone else gagging nearby.

_Bobby!_

My memories came flooding back but I still wretched hopelessly. It was a good job that there was nothing in my stomach. At last acid travelled up my oesophagus and pooled between my hands. At last the wretching stopped. I felt a rough hand rubbing my shoulder trying to soothe me.

"You okay?" Bobby asked as he crouched to my level.

I gave him a tired look and nodded to signify that I was fine. I wiped at my mouth with the sleeve of my sweater. He helped me to my feet. I couldn't sense Cas nearby.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked me again.

"I'm fine, Bobby. Just a bit…" we both glanced around, "disorientated"

We were stood in a parking lot and it was already dark. Cas was nowhere to be found. I tried not to panic and hoped that he was fine. I realized that the taps on my body had been falling snow flakes. There was almost a foot of it settled on the ground and it was getting deeper even as we spoke.

"We have to get inside," I told him as I wrapped my arms around my body and began to step foot to foot out of anxiousness.

He nodded and started to make his way to the main road, "I figured…"

I stayed where I was and looked around once more, "come on, Cas"

Bobby vanished behind a building about twenty feet away. My breath appeared in front of me as a small cloud of condensation. I pursed my lips and watched the air billow out. I gulped and looked to the Heavens hoping to see some sign or other. Bobby's head appeared back around the corner of the building he had disappeared around moments before.

"You coming or what?" he shouted over to me before going back onto the main street again.

Reluctantly with one last glance skywards I began to walk over to the main street inadvertently kicking up snow and leaving a trail of footprints as I did.

Suddenly there was a tell tale shudder in the air and a flutter of wings nearby. When I turned around, I half expected to find Uriel ready to kill me. But instead there stood a bloodied and urgent Castiel. He stumbled on his feet for a second as he rushed towards me.

"We need to get inside _now_" he ordered me and I obediently led him down the way that Bobby had gone.

* * *

The streets were empty with only hookers trying to sell themselves on the corners as we passed. We walked quickly past them and ignored their calls. Surprisingly, Cas didn't even mutter anything or look shocked or appalled.

"Come on, cuties!" one shouted.

Another said, "I'll spend the night with both of you for free!"

It was only a two minute walk to the first motel in the seedy red district of an unknown town or city covered in snow at night. Bobby was stood impatiently with a pair of keys in his hand when we got to the door.

"Room 24, second floor" he relayed to me and led us quickly up the stairs.

The guy on reception winked at me for the brief moment that we were in the lobby and we passed through a set of double doors onto the staircase. There were various couples on the stairs that were touching and kissing who hadn't quite made it to their rooms. They didn't pay us any notice though and we managed to shuffle past them calmly enough. We made it to our room safely and only did any of us dare talk when the door was shut and bolted.

Cas kept close to the window choosing to keep an eye on the outside world. Bobby on the other hand made straight for the mini-bar and poured two shots of whisky. He offered one to me and I accepted it gratefully.

"What the hell was that?" Bobby questioned as he poured himself a second glass, "Warn me before you fly me somewhere will ya?"

The Angel gave the human a sad look, "they followed me. When I brought you here they followed me. I had to give them a false trail. That is why it was a violent landing"

"So you threw us off the Angel Express while it was still moving?" Bobby badgered him.

He gave him a confused look, "I do not understand"

I shook my head rapidly, "that bit isn't important. Where did you take them to?"

"You call it Siberia," Cas told me with a look out of the window. He turned urgent again, "You are still not safe here, not yet. My brothers and the Demons are still searching for you"

He advanced towards me with his hand extended. Before I had a chance to ask what he was doing he placed his hand to my chest and stared straight into my eyes as pain shot through to my very bones. Bobby was about to protest when he did the same to him.

I sunk down on the bed and rubbed the place his hand had been, "what was that?"

"I carved Enochian symbols into your bones to hide you, from both Angels and Demons" he said simply and swayed a little more on his feet. I had never seen him tired or exhausted before, in fact I didn't know Angels could become tired or exhausted.

"Thank you" I muttered so low I was barely able to hear it myself. I wasn't just saying thank you for the symbols, I was saying it for everything. He basically exiled himself from Heaven just to save my life.

The corner of his mouth twitched in an attempt at a smile. He had heard me.

"That's just dandy," Bobby started again, "but what are we going to do about the price on her head?"

"I shall return to Heaven and negotiate her freedom and safety," he stated with his eyes closed. His words sounded too precise. It was like he was focusing on every one of them.

I shook my head and stood up, "no! I'm not letting you do anymore for me. You're going to get yourself killed. We'll meet up with Sam and Dean and try to sort this out ourselves. You should go and apologise to your brothers and say you were influenced by Casey or something"

It was obvious how exhausted and irrational I was being but neither of them showed any annoyance at me. Silence filled the air for a few moments.

"Bobby, can you leave me alone with Rox for a few moments. There is something she must understand" Cas said calmly.

He nodded, "sure, I'll grab some more of this whisky too"

After a few seconds he was gone and it was just me and the Angel in the room of a seedy backstreet motel.

Cas then turned to face me, "you do not understand. I have a connection to you, one that is through the rosary and another attachment. I am compromised as I have begun to feel emotions, one of which is doubt. We cannot feel doubt, the consequences are unimaginable"

I blinked a few times, "what are the consequences?"

"We fall" was all he said for a few moments, "We fall from Grace and have every tie with Heaven severed. More often than not we are also killed"

I took a deep breath, "I never realised"

"My brothers will not accept my return to Heaven. Even if I were to hand you over to them I would still be cast out and killed. The most I can do is secure your safety and make a deal to ensure that they do not kill you once I am dead" he wobbled on his feet.

"You can't do that, you go back to Heaven you _will_ be killed. You stay on Earth you _may_ live" I told him, "and so may I."

He shook his head with a small smile, "I made an oath to protect you. That is what I am going to do"

A few more moments of silence passed between us before I had the courage to speak again.

"Are they still not talking?" I asked.

"They are not allowing me to listen" he corrected me, "they are also beginning to cut off my link with Heaven"

I paled, "this quickly?"

"Yes," he confirmed before nearly fainting and falling on the floor behind him.

I managed to catch him just enough so his head didn't hit the floor. I glanced around worriedly waiting for Bobby to get back.

"Angel's don't faint do they?" I asked Cas as I propped him up in my arms.

"No" he said hazily, "I have over exerted myself...you must...stay indoors"

His bambi eyes fluttered shut.

"Bobby!" I shouted over my shoulder still hoping that the hunter was in earshot.

I cautiously placed my hand to his temple. It felt cold and clammy. Next I checked his pulse. It was racing and his breathing had become shallow.

"Don't do this, Cas" I pleaded hopelessly with the unconscious being.


	39. They Don't Sleep

**Chapter Thirty Nine- They Don't Sleep**

_A/N- More snow has fallen, so I've written some more. Mum's been stuck in a town that's 20 miles away for the past three days, she's planning on coming back tomorrow. I got so bored I did my Christmas decorations and my CV/Resume. I need to move somewhere warm. And I feel like renaming this 'An Angel's Footsteps' but I reckon it'll upset a few people cause they won't recognize it. Pffffft, I need something to do. Enjoy!_

"Come on," I urged glancing quickly between Cas' limp form and the door. I started to rub the Angel's shoulder gently, "Cas? Wake up. Please…"

He didn't stir. The rosary was humming softly generating a soothing warmth within me. But it was so soft any normal person wouldn't have been able to notice it. It worried me a little that it was too weak. I knew that this was coming from Cas. Even though he was out for the count, he was still happy with what he did.

I did notice an underlying feeling. Beneath the happiness and absolute bliss there was a fear growing. Of what, I didn't dare think about.

"Idiot," I gazed on him sadly.

The door burst open suddenly causing my head to whip round. Bobby stood in the doorway with an unopened bottle of whisky gaping at me and the being in my arms.

"I heard you shout, what happened?" he questioned me as he shut the door, dumped the whisky on the coffee table and approached us.

I shrugged and felt panic starting to set in, "I-I-I don't k-know"

He placed a fatherly arm on my shoulder, "it's okay, take your time"

After taking a deep breath I replied, "we were. Umm we were talking. He told me that Heaven was starting to cut him off and that he was going to Heaven to stop them from attacking me. He started to…to wobble and then he fell backwards"

"Okay," he nodded warily, "let's get him on one of the beds"

I nodded frantically in agreement.

Bobby went and grabbed his ankles making sure he had a firm grip on them while I stood up and hooked my hands underneath his arms.

"We lift him on three," the older man instructed me, "one, two…three"

We heaved together grunting with the effort. Cas was a lot heavier than he ever looked. His body hovered a couple of inches off the ground and we managed to move him so he was parallel with the bed.

Bobby let his feet drop while he took a breath and wiped his brow while I still held his shoulders up, "damnit, I'm getting too old for this"

I gave him a sympathizing look and readjusted my hold. He took the hint and grabbed the Angel's feet and lifted him up as high as he could. I followed suit and we managed to force him onto the bed. I crouched next to him and grabbed a beer from the mini-bar.

The hunter started on that bottle of whisky, "he say anything before he decided to take a nap?"

"He told me to stay inside and that he over exerted himself," I told him with a sip, "other than that…nothing"

"Well, I'm gonna update those two idjits about this," he told me as he took out his cell phone.

I nodded half heartedly, "don't let them lead the Angels here…"

"I won't," the man reassured me as he dialed the number for either Sam or Dean.

He had a long conversation with them while I kept faithful watch over my own guardian. He didn't seem to improve much and I prayed to God. Not to Heaven. Not to the Angels. But directly to the Big Man himself. I just hoped he heard my pleas in time.

Please, don't let him die. I'm begging you. He's just doing what he believes is right. Don't let them kill him, let him wake up, please.

* * *

The next few days passed in a blurry haze filled with anxious glances, hopeless sighs and fear filled prayers. Bobby had said that the Winchester's were coming up here but taking the long way around in an attempt to make it difficult for the holy rollers. It turned out that we were in Maine of all places. I spent most of my time drinking beer while watching the Angel. The booze had run out in two days much to the relief of Bobby, who refused to go get anymore.

Whatever Cas had done to our ribs seemed to be working. No Angels or Demons showed up and we didn't see any around the motel. The maid seemed to be growing concerned when we refused to let her in after the third day but I told her that it was normal for us and that it gave us the creeps when people touched our stuff. Even though we didn't have any.

* * *

On the fifth day there was a sharp knock at the door. I bolted upright from my little catnap on the other bed. I glanced around blurry eyes and there was another knock. Bobby waited for another few moments. They rapped on the door for a third time and he got up and went to peep hole.

I cast a glance at Cas who was still in his slumber. His cuts and grazes were starting to heal but a lot slower than what I would've liked. Nothing had changed with the rosary. The fear was still growing but beyond that I realized something was new. A longing, exactly like before.

Bobby opened the door and ushered people in to the room. I heard the door swing shut and I turned my head away from Cas and faced the new comers. A smile broke out on my face before jumping off the bed and hugging Dean.

"Whoa," he steadied himself before hugging me back.

"You guys made it" I sighed in relief.

He chuckled in my ear, "course we did! We're not gonna let those sons of bitches get you"

I let go and smiled tearfully, "thank you"

He nodded slightly before going to sit down.

Sam grinned down at me and embraced me, "glad to see you're okay"

Laughing I replied, "I'm not quite sure that's the word"

We released each other and he went to go join his brother. That was when I sensed it. The turning, twisting evil presence in the room. My eyes shot to the source and found Ruby staring at me.

"Don't I get a hug?" she asked sarcastically with a sly smile.

"Hey there," I gritted my teeth against the onslaught on my senses, "stand down wind will you? You stink"

Her smile turned into a grin and answered my unspoken question, "don't worry, no one's followed us here"

I went back to join the others who were basically poking Cas with a stick. Bobby was watching with folded arms as Dean leaned in to his face and checked his breathing. Sam on the other hand pulled out a few research notes from his duffle bag.

"What have you guys been doing?" I asked as I sat back down on the bed.

Dean answered, "we drove through about fifteen states before coming here and there's a few of your clothes in the trunk"

"Huh, thanks" I answered bemused.

"And Ruby's made some hex bags" Sam told us with a smile.

I glanced at the Demon, "but there's some Enochian hiding symbol things in our ribs"

"They're not for you" she told me as she pulled three bags out of her back pocket, "they're for the boys and me while we're near you"

My eyebrows raised a little as an invitation for her to explain further.

She obliged reluctantly, "Even though you and the old man have these hiding symbols us guys don't. The Angels and Demons can track us so we led them straight to you. These bags will stop that from happening."

"You're useful after all" I commented.

She gave me a brief smile.

Then our attention turned back to Cas. We were watching him silently wondering when someone was going to ask the question. Not that anyone had much of an answer.

Dean took the plunge, "what are we gonna do?"

No one replied straight away.

"Well there's lore on Angels. But nothing about sleeping Angels" Sam answered after flicking through his notes.

_That's because there's no such thing as a sleeping Angel you muttonhead…_

I stiffened suddenly and the other watched me as the voice carried on.

_It's one of Heaven's tricks to start taking you out one by one. He needs to be woken up…don't just sit there! Say it!_

"Umm" words escaped me for a moment, "Angel's don't sleep"

The others continued to watch me bizarrely. One of Ruby's eyebrows rose partially whereas Dean kept looking at me like I'd snapped and gone gaga. Sam and Bobby just watched and listened.

"Well they don't!" I reinforced desperately, "I've never even seen him tired before Heaven started cutting him off"

"That's true," Bobby agreed, "not sure it helps us much though"

_Are you going to tell them or shall I? _

"What if…" I started, "this is just the other Angels trying to kill him before he does anything else?"

_There we go…_

"I mean," I tried to think of how I could say it better, "Cas is a liability now and he's on our side. There's already Anna walking around, imagine how much trouble two renegade Angel's will be?"

A few glances passed between them.

"So theoretically we just need to wake him up," I finished nervously.

The brothers glanced at each other before nodding in agreement.

_Now that everyone on the same wavelength, how about we set about getting the guy up and about again? Ask the Demon for the how-to guide._

The voice was seriously starting to freak me out now. But if it was willing to help then I could hardly turn around and say no, could I? I tried to act as normal as possible and carried on with the conversation.

"So…" I took a deep breath, "Ruby you should know how to bring him around"

Her eyes blackened for a moment in shock, "how did…ugh never mind. It's a simple spell; it's in my spell book. I'll be back in an hour"

Without another word she turned and left the room. The guys kept looking at me worriedly.

"I'm fine!" I shouted at the top of my voice, "stop freakin' staring!"

They finally turned away and started their own conversation. I began to rub my temple, a head ache was beginning to attack me.


	40. The Witch And The Waker

**Chapter Forty- The Witch And The Waker**

_A/N- Hey! Hope you enjoy this one. By the way, I've also uploaded a one shot about the shower scene in chapter twenty-two (fansCastiel asked me to ages ago haha) called **'A little Thing Called Privacy'**. Have a look if you have the time! Oh and I just made up the words and I know that pentagrams aren't evil or anything like that (unless they're upside down or something but that may be a pentacle)._

Ruby returned a little early and she knocked three times on the door. Sam went and answered it as the rest of us didn't really want to get that close to her. Well I knew that I didn't want to.

I swallowed a couple of aspirin as she entered the room carrying a large leather bound book and a backpack thrown over her shoulder. Dean and Bobby shared my own expression. There were numerous and countless symbols scattered over the leather. I had seen a few of them before when I had been trying to find out what my own mark had been. They were demonic, evil symbols. There were probably a few curses scattered over it just in case some idiot tried to open or steal the book for themselves.

She dropped the book on the coffee table and set about turning the pages.

Dean leaned in a bit closer to stare at the leather and the pages of the book, "is that _human_ skin?"

"Yeah," Ruby answered nonchalantly, "But don't worry Dean. Only virgins can become a witch's book"

He laughed nervously, "I'll warn the locals"

I glanced back at Cas' body. He was still alive and still unresponsive. From what we could tell he was starting to be worn down by whatever had made him like that in the first place. The rosary felt colder and more distance than ever before. What was happening to him?

_Why don't you help the hell bitch and then start to ask questions?_

"Shut up," I uttered and closed my eyes. I pinched the bridge of my nose and hoped that the aspirin would kick in soon.

Bobby looked at me, "you okay?"

"Just awesome," was my reply as I got up and went to join the others, "anything I can do?"

Ruby continued to flick through the pages for a little while. She stopped abruptly and ran a finger down one page, "okay, we need holy water and blood"

"Why?" Sam questioned.

"Because that's what the book says. Holy water to represent the higher self, that's all your good things like self sacrifice, and blood for the lower self, which is like lust and hate and stuff like that" she told us as if it was obvious.

"You need his blood?" Bobby asked.

She scoffed, "Angel's don't have blood. Not really"

"So what do you use?" Sam wondered trying to decipher the book.

Ruby lifted her eyes and looked at me sympathetically, "Hers"

We all said the same thing, "What?"

"He's in a vessel so that blood isn't really his. It's the poor sap's who locked inside, plus bleeding an unconscious Angel gets you killed," she told us as she began to pull objects from out of her backpack which sat at her feet.

"Go on…" Dean prodded her verbally after a few moments of silence.

After she had taken all the objects out of her backpack she explained, "But he did a blood bond with Rox which means that they're both connected in more ways than one. When he did it when he was awake and the power infused in the bond means that her blood is the perfect medium to wake him up"

I spoke for the first time. I suppressed the terrified quiver in my voice, "how long do we have until he dies?"

Died? Did I just say that? I thought awkwardly. I knew it deep down though, he was dying. I could just feel it.

"A couple of hours maybe, and it takes a full hour to get the ritual set up. We'll be running on a tight schedule," she informed us

Dean held up his hands, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! We are not bleeding her!"

_Why am I not surprised? _

Sam and Bobby looked at him. The man wasn't impressed and he began to pace the room as we carried on with the conversation.

"How much do you need?" I ignored both of the voices.

She shrugged and lifted a small pot bowl, "Ideally enough to fill this bowl but I can work with less. It'll take longer though"

"We aren't bleeding her!" Dean roared again.

Everyone chose to ignore him though, not just me this time. The over protective sonofabitch just wasn't thinking logically.

"I'll do it," I agreed with a sigh.

"No!" he shouted.

_Shut him up! _

"Dean, freakin' shut up! If we don't do this then he dies. Can you live with that? Can you live with the only being that can help me dying? Can you live with your friend dying?" I told him angrily with a quick glance. After a few moments I cooled off and added, "Losing a bit of blood isn't going to kill me…"

My little speech stunned most of the occupants of the room into silence, all apart from the demon that was. She regarded me with an approving look. What she was approving of I had no idea.

"Of course, there are a few risks" Ruby told us slyly.

"Like what?" Sam demanded.

She considered for a few seconds, "It could scar her. It may give away our position. And the spell could always backfire on us"

"Backfire? As in how?" Dean asked with a shake of the head.

"What do you think? We'd end up comatose in the middle of a hooker hotel…" she rolled her eyes.

"I'll still do it," I said with a sigh, "I understand the risks. Where do you want me?"

She glanced around the room, "sit on the bed or something while I set it up. Everyone else needs to leave while we do the waking though."

Dean shook his head, "no way am I leaving!"

"If you don't leave the spell won't work," Ruby told him honestly, "the only people who can be here is the witch, the sleeper and the waker"

Sam handed her a flask of holy water from the bottom of his duffle bag then left the room after giving me a sheepish smile. Bobby left without a fight and went to join Sam downstairs. Dean needed a little more persuading and I followed him to the door.

"I'll be fine. Cas'll be fine. Ruby will do it right, I promise" I reassured him with a smile, "just _go_ have a drink or something"

He shifted from foot to foot awkwardly in the shady corridor. He didn't reply for a few minutes. I began to wonder if he would ever leave.

"You better keep that promise," he returned my smile and sighed before walking off down the corridor.

* * *

After an hour of watching Ruby preparing the spell the headache hadn't receded, in fact it had grown in strength. It was becoming hard to focus my eyes on anything now but I tried to stay alert.

"Done" Ruby took a step back from the coffee table where she had set up an upside down pentagram, in her own blood. On top of the pentagram the small dark bowl sat menacingly in the centre and on top of the five points there were downy feathers. Three candles, that represented each one of us, were spread around the table and a knife was lying across the bowl.

"That's all we need?" I asked as I struggled onto my feet and joined her near the table.

She shrugged, "just need to add the blood and the water then the Holy Roller should be flying high again"

I nodded warily, "what do we do first?"

"I'll light the candles, say a few words then add the holy water. I'll say something else then you take the knife and slice your own palm open and let the blood drip into the bowl. Then I say more words and he's up and about"

"Let's get started then" I said and we both kneeled at the table.

Ruby lit the candles with a match before uttering, "Ceph ga sey mahi dae, oll tar tey"

She pulled the flask of holy water from under the table. She screwed off the fastener and poured the water into the bowl and allowed it to wash over the knife. I realized that her eyes were now fully black.

"Lai omi berg sep fir, hek ser cia" she said as the flames of the candles fluttered. The candle closest to Ruby blazed a little brighter.

I took the knife in my left hand and placed my right over the bowl. I laid the sharp side of the blade flat against my palm, placed pressure on it and pulled swiftly downwards. I winced as the blood trickled down my skin and into the bowl and pain in my head threatened to knock me out. The candle closest to me shone brighter than the others.

Ruby took the knife off of me and once the bowl contained enough blood I removed my hand and she began to stir the mixture with the tip of the knife.

While doing this she spoke more strange words, "Feri bay hete soli tre!"

The candle closest to Cas finally burned brighter than the others before they all extinguished themselves and the atmosphere returned to normal.

"Wha…what do we do…now?" I asked almost having to force the words out of myself. It felt like someone was spearing me with a red hot poker.

"We wait," she told me with a curious look.


	41. Brandy Snap

**Chapter Forty One- Brandy Snap**

_A/N- I'd thought I'd give you a long one 'cause I haven't updated in so long and it's the Christmas period. Enjoy! (:_

After a few moments I moved so that I was leaning against one of the beds. Damnit, I hated migraines. I rubbed my temple absently as I watched the table nearby. Slowly the light that was coming in through the thin drapes began to make it worse. Any piece of light hitting my eye felt like someone had stuck a high powered sun lamp in my face.

"The light…" I closed my eyes, "it…why does it hurt?"

"I'll go get the guys…" Ruby's voice hesitated for a few moments.

I flinched at her voice. Why did she have to speak so damn loud?

I didn't look up or make any other sign that I had heard her. Shortly afterwards I heard the door open and close shut. Everything was starting to seem dull and distant. The only thing that I could focus on was the pain. I tried to think about something else.

Cas. He should be waking up any moment…

My hand tingled as I wrapped my fingers around the rosary to try and soothe myself. The cut on my palm should've stopped bleeding by now. I could feel something wet in my hand. The door opened again and several people came running into the room. I winced in pain but otherwise didn't move when I felt a cautious hand on my shoulder.

"Rox? Are you okay?" they asked me. I realized it was Dean.

"What happened?" Bobby asked in the distance.

The demon scoffed, "nothing! She just curled up like that…"

"I swear if you're lying-"

"You'll do what exactly?" Ruby counterattacked before Bobby could have even finished his sentence.

"Rox?" Dean started.

I began to shake subtly, "Not so loud. Why is everyone being so loud?"

"We're not being loud," he told me but he lowered his voice to a whisper anyway. I felt the attention of his voice move away from me, "she's shaking"

"What did this ritual do to her?" Bobby asked loudly and I winced in pain again.

Ruby sounded wary, "it just cut her palm. Nothing else"

"Ruby?" Sam asked.

"Nothing went wrong. Whatever's happening it had nothing to do with me," she defended herself, "I promise"

My shaking became more violent and I felt arms pull in around me. They tried to coax warmth into me gently rubbing as Dean tried to soothe me.

"You're gonna be okay, I promise" he told me.

"Dean? Check her hand…" Sam's voice suggested. Even I could hear the foreboding in his voice.

He moved without a word so that he could get to my hand. I was still clutching onto the rosary as my teeth began to chatter. His hand felt blistering hot as his skin touched mine and he slowly eased my hand out of position. There was only silence and I felt the faint trace of finger tips across my palm.

There was a sharp intake of breath from everyone. Tears began to escape from under my lids and trail down my cheeks.

"Make it stop," I pleaded while I sobbed in pain, "Just make it stop…"

"Go get some towels" was all that he said to the others. They moved around the room quietly trying to make as little noise as possible. I could feel his fingers move to my own. To my middle and ring finger in fact. The tips of his fingers moved down to where my fingers joined my hand.

"Rox? What happened to your hand?"

Between chattering teeth I managed to say, "the…the rit..Ritual"

"I mean your fingers. They're umm…they're dislocated" he told me and I sensed him move as someone passed him some towels.

I shook my head a little. Not that I could move it much, anytime my head or neck moved it sent the pain ricocheting around my skull. I couldn't think, "I don't…I don't know"

"Okay," I heard him sigh, "I'm gonna have to push them back in, okay? It's gonna hurt…a lot"

In the next moment I screamed in agony. There was a click as the bones slotted back into place. I gasped trying to get back to being calm. My hand ached as I clutched to it. Dean continued to fuss over my hand and I felt him bandage it up in towels and duct tape as he tried to stop the bleeding.

"Is he awake?" I asked. My voice was light and almost breaking.

"Cas?" Dean changed position so that he was effectively holding me while I shivered and bled. My breathing became raspy.

"Y-y-yes…" my temperature began to plummet and the warm air was starting to scold my nose and throat.

I could almost feel the dread in his voice, "no, not yet"

From that moment on I became virtually unaware of what was happening. I could only hear the hushed voices that caused me pain and the warm almost blistering arms around me. Even the rosary began to dim. I strived to hold on to the last thread of hope that I had. I strived to hold onto him.

"What's happening to her?"

"You got as 'bout as much of an idea as I have"

"Are you sure it's not the ritual?"

"I'm damn sure"

"What if it's the Angels?"

"They don't even know where she is!"

"I'm gonna kill Uriel when I see him!"

Slowly I lost the voices through the pain. I lost the feeling of the arms holding me too. All that I had now was the slither of life that came through the rosary and the deeper blood bond.

* * *

Later, I didn't know how much later whether it was minutes or hours or days, something stirred me from the darkness that had enveloped me. I became aware of the voices and of the arms holding me. The life I had been focusing on had grown in strength.

"Told you it'd work"

"He alright?"

"I'm healed…"

That voice…where did I know that voice from?

"You've got her to thank for that"

"Now Angel up or somethin' and help her!"

I felt the floorboards echo the footsteps as the source of the voice came closer. They creaked as he lowered himself to my level. The arms around me held fast as if to try and protect me.

Jealousy coursed through the voice, "Dean. I am not going to harm her"

There was a moment where nothing happened and then the arms reluctantly released me. Not completely though, they merely lowered to my waist and hips. I had continued to shiver. The tears hadn't stopped and the towel wrapped around my hand was damp.

"Rox?" the voice asked gently.

I didn't reply the first time. I didn't have the strength in me.

A warm, soothing hand pressed against my cheek and wiped away the salty tears, "Roxanne, I need you to open your eyes…"

The hand gave me strength, enough strength for me to answer.

"The…the light" I managed to mutter.

"The light won't harm you; you must open your eyes"

I trusted the voice. It was familiar, it so familiar that I could sense that the owner's name about to trickle off of the tip of my tongue. Someone who helped me.

My eyelids flickered momentarily before opening. The room was dark and there was only the slightest crack of light escaping from underneath the door. There were three figures sat in the shadows, Sam, Bobby and Ruby. My eyes focused in on the face in front of me. The man was dark haired and light eyed. Nicknames sprung to my mind, Bambi, Feathers...

"Cas?" I croaked and attempted a half ass attempt at a smile that probably came out more like a painful snarl.

He gave me a slight smile in return. It turned out to be short lived. His face fell after a few moments and he stroked my cheek for a while before speaking.

"I'm sorry…" he told me solemnly and continued to hold my gaze for a little longer. For a second I could have sworn that I had seen tears starting to form in his eyes.

"What for?" Dean nearly growled at him. I realized that he had been the one who had been holding me and trying to soothe me.

Cas moved his hand away from my face and stood up. He moved away from the rest of us and went to stand by the wall. He refused to face any of us. It took several moments for him to compose himself enough to explain.

"The Angel's are attacking her. Even though they are not able to find her physically in the here and now they can still travel to the past as they attempt to harm her. They see her as a risk if she is even left breathing. The pain that she is feeling and suffering from is due to my brothers surveying history and removing all trace of her…"

No-one spoke as the words began to sink in.

"...And her dormant powers are reacting to what they are trying to do to her. She will begin to see dreams and visions about what they are doing to her past self" his voice caught, "I am also powerless to stop it"

"You haven't even tried! Get off your ass and do something" Dean roared at him as his arms protectively rose up around me.

"What do you suppose I do?" he rounded on him, "if I try to heal her using what is left of my power it will alert them to where we are and we shall all die. She must remain hidden. It will also cause her more pain and I am not willing to subdue her to that."

The Angel sighed, "in a way the pain is a blessing…the others shall try anything to kill her. If she is feeling pain then Heaven is failing in its task"

"So what do we do?" Sam asked.

"Some of my brothers owe me favors," he started, "I shall go to them and see if they know of anything that can help her. Failing that, I can go and barter her life for mine" he approached me again and raised his fingers to my temple, "Other than that I highly suggest we pray for her"

He gave me another slight smile before everything went black.

* * *

Even though I was unconscious I still dreamt. The dream was like the ones that I had suffered from before.

I was back in the nursery. The window was open and the little angel figurine was still sat watching the crib. Time passed strangely in this dream though. One moment no-one was over the crib then there Azazal was feeding blood to me. I blinked and my mother died. Suddenly the mysterious Arch-Angel and the demon were fighting. Before the fight was over though there was a blinding flash of white light as two other Angels in dark suits appeared. Azazal escaped and the Arch-Angel fought with his brothers. One of them distracted him and got to the crib. They produced a killing spike from their sleeve and drove it into the crib. I screamed in agony as another flash of light blinded all of us.

When the light cleared there were three pairs of eyes resting on me. Two of the Angels started to advance on me as the sound of a baby's crying filled the air.

The Arch-Angel turned to me and muttered, "Time to wake up now, Brandy Snap"

* * *

I woke up with the sound of snapping fingers still echoing in my ears. My eyes opened and I had to blink several times to clear the haze that had settled because of the pain and sleep. Someone had placed me in one of the two beds. Light was seeping through the thin drapes and I could hear the sound of the shower running in the bathroom. Somehow the pain had lessened. I wasn't shivering anymore. Instead I just felt cold. My teeth weren't chattering. I checked my hand. The towel had been replaced with a neatly done medical bandage. The light wasn't hurting my eyes as much as it did. It just felt like-

"The worst hangover of your life?" a cheeky voice guessed the end to my thought.

I sat up in the bed and turned in the direction that the voice had come from. No one else was in the room apart from him. The being from my dreams with the honey coloured eyes. He was sat in one of the cheap armchairs with his feet resting on the coffee table. In his hand there was a glass of whisky that he took a sip of as I watched him.

I gulped trying to swallow the lump in my throat, "who-"

"Am I?" he finished again, "you know who I am, sweetie"

"You're the Arch-Angel?"

His smile got bigger and he grinned at me mischievously, "Yep. You may know me from such works as the _Nativity_ and _Your Dreams_"

"Gabriel?" I announced loudly, "you're the Angel Gabriel?"

He placed the glass on the table and got up as if to hush me, "Jeez not so loud…I don't want the entire cosmos knowing I'm here"

I stared blankly at him for a few seconds, "you saved my life…"

"Well…all in the line of duty" he gave me a wink before muttering, "not to mention Dad told me to…"

"What?"

"Nothing," he said cheerfully while sitting on the bed with me, "I just popped in to see how my blood's doing and to see how my little bro is treating you"

My eyes went wide, "Cas!"

I had completely forgotten about him. He could be dead for all I knew!

"He's fine" Gabriel told me with a sigh, "look I can't hang around for long. Especially now you've gone and called him…"

"Excuse me?"

"He'll be here in a few minutes with his wings all in a knot because you basically called him home, probably thinks you're about to die…again. Anyway, I've woken you from your little visions because you were getting involved in them. Plus those dicks alerted me to what they were doing to you."

I watched him as he continued to explain.

"You'll also notice that you're not in as much pain as before. You have me to thank for that" he told me proudly, "I'm deflecting as much as the pain as possible onto myself."

I didn't know what to say.

"A thanks will do" he suggested with a sideways smirk.

"Thanks…"

"Look kiddo, those dicks with wings up there aren't going to kill you…not yet anyway. You're around for a reason" he told me as he produced a lollipop from his pocket and popped it into his mouth.

"What reason?" I asked hesitantly as I glanced around the room.

He bit into the lollipop and crunched it between his teeth. My eyes darted back to him and I summarized that this had been his intention as he spoke, "I was never told but you're important. I know that much. Why else would I risk the fabulous little life that I had set up? There's a prophecy somewhere…"

"In the bible?" I asked.

He shook his head, "Hell no. Try Carver Edlund"

"Carver Edlund?" I repeated inviting him to explain further.

He stopped crunching abruptly and winked at me again, "Gotta fly, Honey-Bee!"

The Arch-Angel snapped his fingers and I was left alone in the room. The only evidence that he had been there was the half drunk glass of whisky on the coffee table. I watched it hopelessly as the sound of water coming from the next room disappeared.


	42. Concern

**Chapter Forty Two- Concern**

_A/N- Hey :) another update from me! Hope you enjoy this one :D_

I stared at that glass until the sound of fluttering feathers to my right. I took a deep shuddering breath and turned to face whoever had arrived. My eyes lit up when I saw him.

"Cas," I smiled up at him with joyful tears in my eyes.

He surveyed the room carefully before looking at me and speaking, "Rox, are you alright?"

I nodded with a sigh and a sideways glance at the glass, "yes, I think I'm much better"

He came and sat down next to me. I took in his appearance. He looked disheveled and there were cuts and grazes on his face, "I assumed that you called me because-"

"What happened to you?"

The Angel looked away ashamed, "I skirmished with my brothers…"

"What?" I tenderly pinched his chin between my fingers and gently pulled his face so he would look at me, "What do you mean?"

"I went to Heaven to seek favors so that I could help you. It seemed that they were expecting me and we fought, I have been hiding there for days before I heard you call"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…why aren't you healing? Are you still being cut off?"

He nodded warily, "yes, their task is nearly complete"

I let my hand fall and we sat in silence for a few moments. He regarded me suspiciously then, "why are you awake? The power I used…you shouldn't be awake"

I fumbled for an answer and wondered if I should tell him about Gabriel. I decided against it, I'd tell him when I found this Carver Edlund and that prophecy. "I don't know, maybe someone did us a favor after all? That or the demons have some seriously powerful mojo…how long have I been asleep?"

"A while" he answered, "you missed Christmas…it's New Years Eve"

I nodded and got up to take a look out of the window. The streets were covered in snow and virtually empty. I wasn't sure if this was a good sign or a bad one. The light caused me some pain but it was only felt like my retinas were reacting to an extreme change, like someone had opened the curtains in a dark room.

"I want you to have something," Cas started suddenly, "in case I am unable to keep you safe"

I turned abruptly to face him. Even though I had just woken up from an Angel induced coma I wasn't an idiot. He really believed what he was saying. That meant he was going to do something stupid.

He produced a silver spike from the inside of his coat and held it out to me, "it's my killing blade"

"Cas?" my voice nearly broke with emotion, "what are you going to do?"

"Nothing of import"

"Nothing of import?" I screeched at him, "You're giving me your damn killing blade, which by now has to be your only defense against anyone who comes after you, and your saying this isn't important? What are you going to do, Castiel?"

He closed his eyes, "I was charged with your safety. I was told to put your life above my own, to do anything to make sure that you keep breathing. I intend to carry out this duty till my last breath"

His earlier words echoed in my mind, '_Failing that, I can go and barter her life for mine_'

"No!" I shook my head, "not like that! Heaven will not keep its word and I am not willing to lose you to them!"

He approached me as if to somehow soothe me, "it is the only way"

"No it isn't" I glared up at him, "I don't care about what they ordered you to do. Keep your blade and your life and we'll find another way"

"I am not doing this purely because of my orders. I am doing this by my own merit. I do not wish to see you suffer anymore. I would do anything to protect you because…because of our-_my_ attachment…to you"

Without another word he placed his blade in my hand as we stared into each other's eyes. I was about to speak. I didn't know if I was going to refuse or to return his words. A door nearby opened and we both turned like rabbits caught in the headlights of a speeding semi. Much to my surprise it was Dean. His hair was damp and tiny droplets of water still clung to his skin. I realized for the first time just how toned the hunter was. A white towel was wrapped around his midsection…was slowly coming undone.

"Oh god!" I turned to face the window.

"What's with all the shouting? Hey you're awake!" he said cheerfully.

"And your naked" I told him exasperated.

"Whoa" I heard him shuffle around and after a few moments he said, "err…you can turn around now"

I sighed in relief and turned to face him. He'd pulled a pair of jeans on and was currently pulling a tee over his head. I dumped the blade on the bed and tried not to look at it.

Cas turned to me with his head tilted to the side, "What does that have to do with my Father?"

I shook my head gently, "it's just an expression…"

The answer didn't satisfy him but I ignored his stare for the time being. To be honest if he said one more thing about sacrificing himself I was going to stab him with his own blade. There was just too much on my mind.

"So what's with the shouting?" Dean asked again. A crimson blush was slowly fading from his face and neck.

"_He_ wants to go sacrifice himself" I told the human jutting my thumb sideways to the Angel.

"Dude, why?"

"There is no other way," he said defiantly with a sigh. He was getting tired of having to explain this over and over.

"We'll see about that when Sam and Bobby get back," Dean told us.

"Where are they anyway?" I asked while my eyes searched the room for Sam's laptop.

"Pam's" he said, "how are you awake? I thought that Angel Mojo was powerful stuff…"

"Huh…It is…don't worry, I'm still in pain" I rubbed my eyes and moved away from the light after grabbing the laptop that was perched on one of the bedside tables, "I saw what the Angel's were doing, like in my dreams"

I decided to sit back on the bed that I had woken up in and start to load the space saving computer up. The two men exchanged glances before asking the obvious question at the same time.

"What happened?"

I half shrugged, "I was in the nursery and there was a demon and that Arch-Angel person. Suddenly there were two people in suits. They got to the crib and just stabbed it. All that happened though was a flash of light, agonizing pain and then I woke up"

"That's it?" Dean sat at the bottom of the bed and looked me in the eye.

"Yeah, well that's all I remember" I looked at the screen and loaded up Google. My fingers moved across the keyboard easily while I typed the name Carver Edlund.

"You woke up?" Cas asked.

"Yes," I answered while sifting through the things that had come up, "must have been the pain…"

There were minutes of silence while I continued to research. According to Wikipedia, Carver Edlund was the author of a series of books called 'Supernatural'. My eyebrows perked as I recognized the names of the characters. Sam, Dean, Bobby, Azazal, Lilith. The last book ended with the older brother, Dean, going to hell. The publisher went bankrupt shortly afterwards.

"What are you doing?" Cas wondered as he sat on the bed opposite.

"Research"

"I doubt the internet will hold the secret of saving you…" he voice was deadpan.

My eyes raised and I glared but said nothing. I scrolled further down. Apparently there was another series of books done by the same author. There had been only three books in the series which was named, 'Blood Curse'. This intrigued me and I went onto an extension website that gave detailed descriptions of each of the books. The first one, 'Borrowed Blood', started a when a demon and an angel fought in the nursery of a six month old girl. The book continued to go through her childhood years ending when the kid got into high school. The second, 'Tainted Blood', detailed the life of the same character through to the end of her teenage years. There was a strong relationship between the main character and a guy. There were several deaths in the book. It even spoke about the funerals of her friends. The final book, 'Diseased Blood', was mainly about a wedding or one that never happened. There was a fire and the woman left with a friend. They had a car crash and the friend died. I paled when I read the name of the character, Roxanne, but she preferred to be known as Rox.

"Oh crap…" was all I could say.

"What?" Dean practically jumped so he could see the screen.

Cas was a little less eager and with a sideways glance at the human came to sit at my side. They read what I had just read. The story stopped after _I _got picked up by the ambulance after the car crash.

"This guy has written out my life!" I protested.

"Wow, this guys tapped into you big style" the human whistled then turned to me and blink several times, "how did you know to search this guy?"

"I umm…had some divine inspiration" I told him while keeping my eyes fixated on the screen in front of me.

"Divine inspiration? From who?" he glared and I could feel his eyes burning holes in the back of my head.

"The freakin' angel Gabriel!" I seethed. I honestly didn't know if they thought I was being sarcastic or serious. Well Cas always assumed the latter.

"That is…peculiar" Cas commented, "why would my lost brother tell you this?"

Dean shook his head, "she's being sarcastic. She has no idea who it was"

Cas was about to reply before thinking better of it. He simply sat there trying to figure out what sarcasm was. I gritted my teeth and bit back the comments that were about to lash out at my two friends. All this stuff the Angels were doing was making me one hell of a cranking bitch.

I finally moved further down the page and found the prophecy I was looking for. Apparently the series was based around this.

'_Thou shalt know thy savior or thy killer for they shall bear the mark of an angel, they are not an angel by Heaven's power however or a demon cast out from Gehenna at the Devil's will and are equally not a creature from mud or bone but they are a being stemming from a previously unthinkable origin._

_There are three paths from which to choose. One runs with Hell and the Demons, another with Heaven and the Angels and the third is with Earth and Humanity. She can never be at one with any or separate from all. She cannot die, or fall or truly sleep. Nor shall she until the battle lines have been drawn and the outcome is sound'_

"a-ha" I squeaked in surprise thankful that this guy had actually given me something in return for publishing my life. I read the passage aloud to them. They listened intently to my words trying to figure out the message behind them.

"Your life seems to be being chronicled by this Carver Edlund. He is most likely a prophet in disguise," Cas contemplated after a couple of moments, "but I do not know of any prophet known by this name."

"That's probably because it's a pseudonym, a pen name, so no one knows who this guy is" I chewed my lower lip.

"What's the point in that?" he asked.

I clicked onto one of the fan-sites for the author. Some of the stuff the fans were posting was quite strange, "well I wouldn't want any of these freaks knowing who I was…Will it get the Angel's off my back?"

Cas placed his chin on his clasped hands, "I think so"

"Then let's shout them down!" Dean clapped his hands in excitement.

Something changed. Even though my senses were dulled I could feel something moving around the edges. Some dark feeling at the corners of my consciousness. Whatever it was, Cas was aware of it as well. Suddenly there were three monotonous knocks at the door.

"Is the room demon proof?" I asked as the fear slowly began to rise in me.

All Dean could say was, "holy crap…"

The door blew open and almost fell off of the hinges with the amount of force that was used. I sat there paralyzed for a moment while Dean jumped to his feet to face our attackers. Cas rose to his feet gracefully with a stern look in his eyes.

"You know it's rude just to leave someone at the door, don't you?"

The sickly sweet voice cut through the air as the dust settled. I turned to face the voice and I realized it was Casey, along with half a dozen other demons at her back.

She laughed when she saw us, "Why so serious, guys?"

I stood up and glared at her, "how did you find us?"

"Looks like that whore Ruby isn't as good with her hex bags as she thinks," she strolled into the room and picked up one of the small packages. She twirled it in her hands for a few seconds, "so have we changed our mind?"

"Go to hell," I hissed at her.

Her eyelids fluttered for a moment, "such a shame. It looks like there's no other choice. Attack them"


	43. Blood

**Chapter Forty Three- Blood**

_A/N- sorry for how late this has been but it's been incredibly busy over here and the muse decided to run off for a little while. However, it's back now so hopefully updates will become more regular now :) Enjoy!_

Six demons charged into the room and they went straight for Cas and Dean enabling Casey to get to me without any resistance. Whether that meant they were going to kill them or just hold them away I didn't know. But chances are it was going to be the more deadly option. With three demons on each of them a falling Angel and a human was no match. It wasn't long before they were pinned in the corners of the room. My breath caught and I couldn't seem to take a real breath anymore.

I was still stood by the bed, my feet wouldn't move. It was like they were stuck to the freaking floor. I could only stare at Casey as she approached me with a devilish smirk sitting on her grey, misshapen face. From her pant pocket she unsheathed a small curved dagger and ran a manicured finger down the sharp edge. It looked familiar.

Her grin grew wider, "do you remember this one?"

An image flashed in my mind. Being strapped to the table with Alistair leering over me and in his hand a small knife. Something to do with oysters.

I glared at her and my hands twitched because of the adrenaline running through my system.

"I knew you would," she gave a happy sigh as she closed the last few feet between us, "I'm going to cut you up so good…"

Behind me I heard my friends struggling. Dean was subdued easily even though he appeared to be fighting his hardest but Cas was using up the last of his strength to try and break through the demon barricade. This caught Casey's attention and her eyes fluttered up to the scene behind me.

"Keep him still" she said with a roll of her eyes before turning back to me, "how sweet is that? He's falling for you…literally"

She chuckled a little at her own pun or joke or whatever it was that she found funny. I scoffed inwardly. Everybody from hell thought they were hilarious. The demons still failed to keep Cas still. He was still fighting with all of his strength against those who had pinned him in.

"Rox, you…" Cas shouted to me, "you…have to…run!"

The words hit me hard and started to bring me out of the shock that I was in. I could breath freely again and my fingers twitched again. But there was no way that I was leaving, not without Cas and not without Dean.

For the first time I saw annoyance on Casey's face. Her grin twisted into a malicious grimace and she glared into that corner, "I said keep him still! If he gets out I'll gut you all!"

There were sounds of more attempts to disarm the Angel, I would've looked myself but I didn't take my eyes off of Casey and that knife. However, even with three demons trying their best to keep Cas still and away from me it sounded as if their attempts were failing.

"You just can't get the staff these days, can you?" Casey commented as she readjusted the grip on her knife, "wasn't that something Jay used to say?"

The name of my late uncle snapped me out of the shock even more and my gaze followed her as she approached the corner. I saw her slash the throat of one of the demons trying to hold Cas in. I knew what she was going to do and I turned back towards the bed.

Both Cas and Dean's voices filled my head.

"Run, we'll be fine!"

"You must run, Roxanne, run!"

But I didn't run instead I grabbed the killing blade that was still lying on the cover of the bed and turned fully to see Casey raise the knife above her head and Cas raising his arm to block her attack. Her arm brought the knife down and cut through the material of his coat and suit before slicing at the skin underneath. Red blood congealed at the wound. Could Angel's bleed? Or had he fallen?

"Looks like you're human now, that means I can kill you!" Casey threw her head back and laughed as she prepared another attack.

I adjusted my grip on the blade and somehow I was behind her. I used my left hand to grab her shoulder and pull her back while I pulled back my right hand and ran her through with the blade. It entered at the small of her back and the point exited her chest after piercing the heart. I pushed harder on the blade and a yellow light shone within her before being extinguished for good. I then removed the blade and let her body slump to the floor.

The other demons hesitated for a moment before leaving the bodies they were possessing and swirling out the door in black smoke. I looked up at Cas and then over to Dean who was stood looking at the body of Casey at my feet.

Behind me I heard the shocked sounds of two men.

"What the hell did ya idjits do?" Bobby's familiar voice filled the air and we turned to face him and Sam.

They were stood at the door gob smacked at the scene before them. There were seven bodies on the floor, each of the demons had burnt out the bodies and souls of the poor people inside.

Tears stung at my eyes and I dropped the blade. I wiped Casey's blood from my hand on one of the bed sheets as Dean tried to explain what had happened.

"Demons found us," he started, "the hex bags didn't work. Casey was going to kill Rox but Cas put up a fight and she started attacking him. Then…"

"I killed her…" I told them bitterly, "I killed that sonofabitch"

Cas was stood silently in the corner and his eyes met mine. There was something different about them now. Blood dripped from his arm onto the floor. I approached him steadily and took a look at his arm.

"Rox killed her?" Sam asked.

Dean nodded, "the hell bitch had it coming anyway"

Bobby scoffed, "well we gotta pack up and move on, before the cops show up"

The others moved in a whirlwind collecting our things and taking them out to the car in a matter of minutes. Just as sirens were heard nearby they shuffled both me and Cas into the Impala and driven out of the city. When we were out of the city limits, Bobby called from his own car behind us. Before we left the room I remembered to pick up the killing blade and chuck it in the trunk.

Dean put it on loud speaker so we could all hear him.

"Great, now we have to find another crappy motel" Bobby sighed, "how you doing anyway, Rox?"

I half shrugged with a sideways glance at Cas, "I'm okay...I guess..."

Cas was staring out of the window with a forlorn expression on his face. What had happened in the motel room had affected him badly, whether it was because he could be hurt now or because I had killed I didn't know. The two brothers continued to talk about where they were going and what they were going to do. I didn't listen and had my own whispered conversation.

"Cas?" I asked tentatively.

His eyes closed and opened slowly again but he didn't turn to face me. I saw Sam casting me concerned glances through the rear view mirror.

"Castiel?" I hissed more persistently only to get the same reaction. I carried on regardless, "Angel's don't bleed do they?"

He hung his head a little lower. This was all the confirmation that I needed.

"They've done it, haven't they? Heaven's cut you off..."

He absently picked at the cut on his arm. It was still bleeding slightly. The conservation in the front seat carried on seemingly unaware of ours. I sat back in my seat with my elbow on the arm rest. I began to chew on my nails, it was a nasty habit that I had picked up while waiting for Castiel to wake up.

"Head over to Indiana and I'll call ya again," Bobby hung up and the car returned to silence.

"You're bleeding," I stated as Cas continued to pick at his arm, "it probably needs stitches..."

He stopped picking at it and the two men in the front looked up at us through the mirror. It didn't matter though, we wouldn't be able to stop until we reach a motel in Indiana.

* * *

Two hours later we pulled up in a parking lot to a motel just outside of Elkhart. We got out and Dean went to get us a room for at least the night. Bobby pulled up a few moments later. Cas' wound was somehow still managing to bleed. I wasn't sure how but I guessed it had something to do with the knife that Casey had used.

When Dean got back we grabbed our stuff and went into room 16. When everyone was settled I approached Sam.

"Sam?" I asked.

"Yeah?" he turned to face me while loading his laptop up.

I cast a worried glance over to Cas who was sitting quietly on the bed nearby, "would you mind sewing up Cas' cut? I think Casey had a special knife"

"Oh erm, sure. No problem" he grabbed a makeshift first aid kit out of one of the duffle bags and headed over.

Cas made no sound and the only evidence that he was feeling any pain came from his facial expression. When he caught me staring he turned away so I couldn't see.

Bobby came over to me, "you sure you're alright kid? You look pretty shaken"

"I'm fine..." I nodded then added quietly, "Cas has been cut off from Heaven"

He chewed his lower lip but nodded nonetheless. I supposed we would deal with that revelation in the morning.

"What did you guys find out anyway?" I asked loudly grabbing everyone's attention.

Both Sam and Bobby gave a half shrugged.

"Pam didn't know about anything that'd stop the Angel's coming after you" Sam told me, "but she did have an idea what we could do until we find something"

"And what's that?" Dean wondered as he grabbed a beer from the mini bar.

Bobby sighed, "find the arch angel"

I jarred inside.

"An arch angel? Is she insane?" the younger man gasped.

"What would that do?" I managed to stammer.

"She said they should be able to make them back off or something" Sam concluded stitching up Cas' arm.

"Well," I pursed my lips, "I found something out too. I found that someone named Carver Edlund has been tapping into my life but has also provided a prophecy that should make the Angel's back off"

I showed them the prophecy but their reaction wasn't quite what I had expected.


	44. Fallen

**Chapter Forty Four- Fallen**

_A/N- Sorry for being a little later than I said I was going to be! I umm had a hangover haha. Enjoy this one and thanks to everyone who is reading/reviewing! :D_

"I'm not so sure about this," Sam shook his head, "not until we know this is real"

Bobby sighed, "I gotta agree with him. We need to check this guy out somehow"

Dean paused for a moment, "This guy's writing under a pen name though, how can we prove it? Can't we just tell the holy-rollers about it?"

I sighed and sat silently on one of the twin beds. I fumbled with the rosary, there wasn't any heat coming from it now just a dull ache. My eyes fluttered to Cas before settling on the blue carpet in front of me.

"I wish we could," the older hunter said, "but if this stuff is wrong then all it does is bring those douches closer to her"

"So what are we going to do?" I asked to no one in particular and glanced up at the ceiling. Tears pricked at my eyes again and I began to wonder what God was doing in all this.

_Keep fighting and everything will fall into place…_

Gabriel's voice.

I closed my eyes and a few of the tears squeezed out. No one had answered my question which answered it anyway. They had no idea. I took the initiative and opened my eyes with a new determination. I was going to listen to Gabriel.

"Bobby, in the morning you're going to go back home and find out as much as you can about this Carver Edlund, his real name and all that isn't important. Do a séance or something and find out whether it's legit" I glanced at the broken figure that was Cas. I knew in my heart that he couldn't stay with me because it was too much of a risk, "take Castiel with you. You'll take a hex bag and hope for the best. Zachariah will probably stop by and try to find out where I am so make sure he's hidden"

He nodded his head solemnly, "what'll you do?"

I cracked a half smile, "I was hoping the boys would take me in"

The brothers exchanged a look before smiling at me. There wasn't a shadow of a doubt, of course they would take me in and keep me safe until we sorted things.

After a while Dean said, "and what are we gonna do?"

"Just keep fighting I guess" I half shrugged. I knew it was pointless trying to find Gabriel, he'd already found me and he'd save me numerous times. He also pointed me in the direction of the prophecy.

* * *

That night we tried to grab as much sleep as we could although I couldn't and neither could Cas. I caught him staring out the window into the parking lot when I glanced up from my position under the covers of one bed. I got out of the bed as quietly as I could and stood next to him.

"Cas," I placed a sensitive hand on his arm, "how do you feel?"

He tore his eyes away from the scene outside and glanced down at the floor, "I feel different. I _feel_. So many things cause me pain"

My hand absently rubbed at his arm, "isn't there anyway-"

"How do you cope?" he looked me in the eye and asked me abruptly, "how can you cope with all these feelings and know what to do?"

I leaned against the wall and gave an honest answer, "I don't know. I guess you just cope because you have to. It's good to have people there for you just so you know you're not alone"

He considered my words for a few moments and looked out at the world again, "In Heaven I had so many brothers and sisters and we were together. We were not alone. But here I only have the people in this room and…you"

"You're worried you're going to be abandoned aren't you?" I wondered aloud and I carried on, "I won't abandon you and neither will Bobby, Dean or Sam but we need to stay alive and that's easier if we're in smaller groups"

Cas cleared his throat after a few minutes of silence, "Why did you kill Casey?"

"Because she was going to kill you and I don't want to lose you"

"You shouldn't have killed her" he hung his head.

I looked at him and my hand dropped from his arm, "why?"

"The Angel's will want to kill you more now. You're posing to be a true threat now that you have killed a powerful demon. You also demonstrated some of your power, you appeared like an Angel does. The demons sensed it too otherwise they would not have left without a fight"

I could do nothing but stand there as the information began to sink in. It felt like everything in the world was standing against us. As the sun began to peek through the curtains I found myself reaching up with my arms and wrapping them around Castiel's neck before pulling him into a tight hug. He shifted uncomfortably for a couple of seconds then returned the hug a little hesitantly. I let go as the others started to stir.

* * *

Saying goodbye to Bobby and Cas was harder than I thought it was going to be. Bobby had become a father to me and Cas, he was just him. It was hard to explain and my thoughts wandered to what would happen next. Of all the scenarios that ran through my head I realized with a jolt that none of them were good ones.

The day after we moved to another motel and did the same after three days. I stayed in the motel room while Sam and Dean went out and about. I didn't want to leave the room, I was content with catching up on day time soaps and some sleep. The Angel's were still trying to kill me in my past even though I wasn't any considerable pain it still took a lot out of me.

Dean was reluctant to leave me alone, even after both me and Sam figured I would be fine on my own for a while. I still had Cas' killing blade under my pillow just in case any demons or angel's decided to show up.

* * *

A week later and in our fifth motel room I sat quietly while the TV buzzed in the background. There was something about global warming on and the scientists giving their views on it and how we can change it. I sipped at the beer in my hand. We hadn't heard anything from Bobby and I was starting to get worried.

I glanced up at Dean who put his cell away. His hopeless eyes met mine and I knew that there was still no sign of them. He'd called other hunters to see if they knew anything and they hadn't. It was just me and him, Sam had gone out to the local fast food joint to get us something to eat.

I looked away and began to pick at the chair I was sitting on.

"Everything'll be okay you know" he stated trying to console me.

I scoffed, "yeah. Hell and Heaven and everything in between isn't going to catch up with us…I just hope they're okay"

"They will be," he sat on the arm of my old fashioned arm chair and took a swig of his own beer, "Bobby'll be trying to shoot Cas full of rock salt and chasing him outta the house soon"

I laughed a little at the image I had in my head. It wouldn't surprise me if Cas did somehow annoy Bobby so much that he reached for a gun.

"you have got to be one of the most awesome people I know," he looked down at me, "Not to mention one of the most beautiful"

I gulped and began to see what was happening.

"I'm so happy I met you, although it would have been better if it was in a bar and not in a diner"

He was trying to sweet talk me.

"and now look at us, we're being hunted by Angels and Demons and anything else that the world can throw at us"

Oh dear God. Please do not go there.

"You know, this could be our last day on Earth. Why do we wanna spend it watching crappy TV when we could be having so much fun together?"

He went there. He actually went there.

"You and me, we'd be amazing together"

I blinked a couple of times and just watched him wondering if this was real because to be quite honest it felt a little dream-ish.

He started to touch my hair and then leaned in. his lips were almost touching mine. I closed my eyes and bolted out of the seat before he moved in that little bit further. A hurt look appeared on Dean's face and I could do nothing but stare.

Luckily Sam walked in a few moments later.


	45. Big News

**Chapter Forty Five- Big News**

_A/N- Here you go! :D I hope you all enjoy this one, thank you so much for reading/reviewing :)_

As the door swung shut behind me I noticed Dean turn away with teary eyes. I took in a sharp breath and looked down at the floor to my right. I bit my lower lip as my brain began to function again. I had to otherwise there would have been so many insults and harsh words coming from me at that moment.

"Hey," Sam started and glanced at both of us. He sensed something was going on, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Everything's peachy" I rushed quickly and Dean gave me a forlorn look. I ignored him and turned my full attention to the younger brother, "what's up?"

"Umm, right" he pulled his cell phone out of his pants pocket and started dialling a number, "Bobby called saying he had big news and we all needed to talk to each other"

"Good or bad news?" Dean asked.

Sam shrugged and put the cell on loud speaker as it rang, "he didn't say"

We waited anxiously as it continued to ring another five times. I was beginning to panic, had something happened? Had they been hurt? Just as my heart began to pump my blood faster he picked up and his gruff voice filled the room.

"Sam? That you?" he started, "bout time you called. Everyone there?"

Sam nodded, "Yeah, Dean and Rox are here"

Dean piped up, "What's this big news you wanted to tell us?"

I began to pace the side of the room that I was on. I wanted to hear Cas' voice, I wanted to make sure he was okay. The rosary was still dull but it didn't feel dead. It just felt defeated and hopeless.

"I reckon you'd better tell them"

There was a slight pause then a deep sigh before the gravelly voice of Castiel came over the airwaves, "We have researched the prophecy and it is indeed accurate"

"How'd you know?" I asked hesitantly, "Thought the guy was keeping his name a secret"

"Anna was able to call in a favour and she confirmed it" he told me after another slight pause.

"Huh, thought she kicked the bucket over a month ago" Dean mused quietly.

I blinked a few times and managed to stammer, "You sure it's real then? And that it'll get the Angel's off my back?"

"There is a high chance that it will work"

Bobby cut him off, "what the walking feather butt means is that it'll work, hands down. Even Pam reckons it will"

Dean took in a deep breath and shared a concerned look with his brother. I pretended not to notice the look, or to know what the look meant. They'd both used this when they had been trying to protect me.

"What's the chance that it won't work?" the older one asked.

There was an uneasy silence as the brothers continued to exchange glances.

Cas finally answered, "twenty five percent"

"It's not happening, the risk is too high" he told us.

I glared at the man. I wanted so much just to shout and to scream at him but I couldn't. Too many things were rushing through my mind.

"Why the hell not?" Bobby almost screamed.

Sam shrugged, "what if they know something we don't and twist it? Or they just kill her outright?"

"I'm right here guys" I stopped pacing and sighed. I hated it when people talked about me dying while I was there. In an odd way I was terrified of death even though I knew there was an afterlife. And I had met a Reaper of course.

"Sorry," Sam apologised.

Bobby paused, "guess that's true. But we'll be there and it's Rox's choice. So whadda say, girl?"

I gulped and knew I had to take the chance. Gabriel had come back from God apparently doesn't know where to help me. I wasn't going to make that a wasted effort, "Do it...call them down"

A heaviness lifted from me then and they hung up saying that they'd call later when everything was sorted. Chances were that the Angel's would want to talk to me directly and not the hunters.

Sam shook him head and rubbed at his eyes, "I'm gonna grab a shower while I can, you two sure you're okay?"

"We're fine" we chimed at the same time and continued to stare at him until the bathroom door closed. He wasn't an idiot, he knew what had happened. I was sure of it.

I sat down on the nearby bed and tried to order my thoughts somehow. I just needed to be somewhere quiet. Hopefully in a few hours I wouldn't be hunted anymore. That or dead. I felt the bed dip next to me and the sound of heavy, concerned breathing. It didn't take me long to figure out who it was.

"You're gonna get yourself killed one day," he started trying to talk me out of going through with it.

I raised my left hand in the air and silenced him, "I don't care, Dean. It's either this or death, I'd rather die with hope beckoning me than with fear holding my hand"

I recited words that had gotten me through hard times when I was younger. Robby had been the one who had said them to me, the night before I went on the road trip.

He only scoffed, "still stupid"

I glared at him then, "I trusted you, you know that right? I mean with my life trusted you! You are one of my few friends now and you go and make a move on me like that? What did you think I was going to do? Don't you dare get bossy or try to tell me what to do!" I stood up and walked over to the door, with a glare being cast over my shoulder while I held the door open I shouted, "The only reason you appear to care is because you'd like to get in my panties! It's not going to happen, Dean Winchester!"

I stepped out into the fresh air for the first time in days and slammed the door behind me. I set off at a fast pace towards the river that ran through the town as opposed to the dark forest that lay behind the motel.

* * *

When I reached the fast flowing river I walked along its concreted and railed bank for a few hundred feet until I found a small wooden bench. There was a small gold plaque on it telling me that it was in remembrance of someone known as Dorothy 'Dotty' Carlton. I sat on it and watched the world go by for a few minutes in silence. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breathes. I missed the monotone of everyday life in the ignorant world.

There was an odd feeling on my left. A niggling that I didn't identify right away. Then I realised what or rather who it was. I opened my eyes and gulped away the lump sitting in my throat.

"Hey" I greeted him.

It was only him.

"Hello," his nasal voice greeted me, "Don't worry, I'm just here to talk"

I scoffed, "I know, it's just you"

I turned to see that Alistair had gotten a new poor bastard to inhabit against their will. Hopefully this one would meet a kinder end. Or maybe even get released. Doubtful, but it could happen.

He smiled gently and looked out at the world, "how can you stand it being so cold? The quicker I get back the better. You killed my best minion, why?"

I half shrugged not taking my eyes off of him, "why do you think? She was annoying me"

"Nothing to do with the fact she was going to kill your post-fall Angel then?" he sneered.

"What does it matter? I killed her and I could kill you too" I threatened and felt the blade Cas had given me poke at me from the inside of my jacket where I kept it now.

"but you wont," he toyed then got to the point, "you've scared the Holy Rollers, they're terrified of you now. I want to make you an offer"

"I'm not doing it"

He shook his head, "not that offer. A new one. When our lord rises you and all your friends will have pride of place in his entourage. You'll be protected and honoured and all he will ask for is your help in the final battle. Think of it, being in a world where there are no monsters to battle and no thoughts to worry you"

I glared at him but didn't get any chance to reply. I heard two pairs of running feet nearby on the pavement. Alistair disappeared in front of my eyes as Sam and Dean came into view. They slowed momentarily wondering if they had just seen a demon vanish. It wasn't long before they were next to me.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked me.

"Who was that guy?" Dean wondered.

"It was Alistair, he has a new vessel..."

"He's not dead?" the brothers asked at once.

I shrugged. Sam's cell started to ring. He answered it at a distance from me and pushed the hair out of his eyes.

Dean shuffled awkwardly from foot to foot, "I'm sorry, ya know. I am your friend and I just like you...a lot"

I nodded sombrely, "I know"

"What did he want?" he asked.

"Same old, same old. Just asking if I want to make a deal"

Sam returned to us after a few minutes and told us that Bobby and Cas had been able to gather the stuff needed to call the Angel's down but they wanted to meet up with us before it happened. Apparently we were going to an old barn in South Dakota that Bobby had owned for a few years.

We picked ourselves up and readied ourselves for the journey.


	46. Deal

**Chapter Forty Six- Deal**

_A/N- Hope you enjoy this one :)_

Barely any words were said in the Impala as Dean drove us over to South Dakota. The ominous atmosphere was enough to silence even a chatty child. The radio played dully humming out a tune every now and again but no one really listened to them. We were all too wrapped up in ourselves.

I couldn't help it as the butterflies in my stomach that I had not felt in so long began to do back flips and somersaults. I hadn't had anything to eat and for once I was glad that I hadn't. Otherwise I'd have been chucking it all up in the back seat.

Sam's fingers began to twitch as he ached for something to do. He couldn't watch the road and the world fly past us as we sped down the freeways and over state lines. In the end he pulled out his cell from his pant pocket and began to look through it and text people.

His brother, however, was unable to steer his eyes away from the tarmac. Of course, he was driving and had to pay attention to where we were going but he was never this focused on anything. I could almost hear his thoughts as he clutched tighter onto the steering wheel. He knuckles were almost white.

I turned my eyes away and rested my head on the window. The movement of the car caused my head to shake, it rattled the joints of my neck and shoulders but it helped me to focus on something rather than the horrible scenarios in my mind or the blurry images of Angel's in my past trying to kill me.

I raised my hand and started to feel the rough, blood stained wood of the rosary. I had never noticed that the grain actually felt so pure and innocent. It was like Cas when I had first met him. Maybe this little cross was our piece of salvation, it had always helped us. Through it I had been able to pull Cas away from death long enough for Ruby to wake him, Cas had been able to find me when I was in danger and he had heard my thoughts calling for him when Alistair almost killed me.

* * *

It was nightfall by the time that we made it to the derelict barn in the middle of nowhere. We clambered out of the car in the cold air and the corrugated doors opened to reveal Bobby and Cas walking towards us. It was an odd scene to be a part of. It wasn't like we were all old friends seeing each other for the first time in a while, it was a business arrangement. We had to do the ritual, make a deal with the Angel's and get the hell out before any Demons showed up. There wasn't any time for chit chat.

"Rox," Cas greeted me with a downhearted smile.

"Cas..." I nodded at him.

It worried me that he had learnt to smile. I was beginning to wonder if the Angel's would allow him back into Heaven. I kept these worries to myself though, no one knew that I was also going to try and bargain so that Cas could become a true Angel again.

Bobby nodded to the Winchester's before getting straight to the point, "I've already got the ritual to call 'em down sorted. Just gotta get Cas to say an Enochian incantation and they're here"

"Sure you wanna do this?" Dean turned to me.

I felt all their eyes turn to me then, "I'm damn sure"

The old man's stance straightened and he held out a piece of paper, "Sam, Cas? I need you two to go and make sure these sigil's are everywhere around the barn before we start"

"Gotcha" Sam took the paper and set off with Cas around the building.

"You two need to be in 'ere"

Me and Dean followed Bobby into the barn and he explained the ritual to us. We were stood in the centre and above our heads were something similar to devil's traps.

Bobby saw me looking, "there some power sigil's, it draws any Angelic attention to anything in the circle when it's activated by the Enochian incantation. This entire building is rigged so the Angel's see you're here regardless of any protection you've got on. We've got this building secured in case anything goes wrong and Cas has gotten us each a killing blade in case the dicks try anything."

I nodded warily while him and Dean talked about the various things set up around the building. I composed myself and noticed that I could actually feel Sam and Cas stalking around the edges of the barn. I could hear what they were talking about too.

"Is err...has Roxanne been alright?"

I felt Sam hesitate, "Sure, she's been fine. Although Dean tried it on with her"

Cas jarred, "tried it on?"

"oh yeah, you know tried giving her the 'last night on Earth' speech. Ugh, he's been interested in her for a long time. Kinda annoying to be frank"

"Interested?"

"Ugh... Romantically...like Adam and Eve style..."

I didn't know what Cas was doing then, he just went quiet and Sam blabbered on oblivious to what he had said.

"she wasn't interested though. She was upset by it all, really hurt you know?"

"You two got it sorted?" Bobby's voice cut through Sam's and I realised they were nearby.

I rubbed my temple anxiously. Looking at Cas, he appeared normal enough although there were faint traces of envy and anger around his eyes and mouth.

"Yeah, they're about every eight feet" Sam told Bobby.

He nodded, "we ready?"

Everyone agreed with a solemn look. We were as ready as we were ever gonna be. Bobby put us each into position. I was to be directly underneath the power sigil along with Cas who recited the incantation. The boys were stood strategically around the room close by along with the old man. Each of us had a killing blade in our hand. I had already burnt Ruby's hex bags a few minutes before.

The incantation rang through my head, "Rah meh gah tru, seah brey troi"

There was a few moments of silence. I noticed a tingling on the furthest reach of my senses slowly getting bigger and bigger before I heard the ruffling of ten pairs of wings. A chill shuddered slowly down my spine, I felt it as each vertebrae vibrated individually.

"Well this _is_ a surprise"

I turned to find Zachariah stood just outside of the circle created by the power sigil. In fact, I realised that it was only me and Cas who were stood inside the sigil. None of the Angel's had dared enter it. I gave them each a look before returning back to Zachariah.

"Hey there" I said calmly.

He gave me a tight smile, "where have you been hiding?"

"Somewhere that apparently only the Demon's could find"

"I forgot what you were like" he rolled his eyes mournfully and turned to Cas, "How's it feel to be mortal, brother?"

Cas cast his eyes down clearly ashamed of what he was now. Out of the corner of my eyes I caught sight of feathers falling off almost bare wings. It saddened me so much that this was happening to him.

"So, why couldn't you find me? Are you just that incompetent or were you just scared?" I brandished the killing blade in my right hand.

He took a wary half step backwards, "it's not as if we haven't been trying"

I rolled my eyes blatantly, "of course not, I remember seeing Angel's trying to kill me as a baby. I still see it flashing before my eyes like I'm there"

He seemed pleased, "good, you're a lot more powerful than I ever expected. You should be withering in pain on the floor. I wonder, did you get any help from a certain someone?"

"And who would that someone be?" I enquired tentatively.

He shrugged, "oh I don't know, maybe an older brother of mine?"

I stood straighter and chose to ignore his hints at knowing Gabriel was behind my survival, "Why haven't you tried to kill me yet?"

"We're not idiots you know. Why would you summon us all the way down here? You're not stupid enough to attack us unprovoked. You want to make a deal. Sorry girl, I'm not a cross roads demon"

"I never suggested you were" I levelled with him, "I found something that would be highly interesting to you, something that comes from your Daddy"

He became cautious again, "what?"

"just a little prophecy we found which means you cannot kill me, wanna hear it?"

His silence was more than a good enough answer.

"_There are three paths from which to choose. One runs with Hell and the Demons, another with Heaven and the Angels and the third is with Earth and Humanity. She can never be at one with any or separate from all. She cannot die, or fall or truly sleep. Nor shall she until the battle lines have been drawn and the outcome is sound"_

I smiled as his face fell.

"Where did you find that?"

I shrugged, "a reliable source...I think their called prophets"

"Fine, you win" he seethed, "at least until the final battle. Now what do you want?"

"I want you to back off and not try to kill me or Cas. In fact let him go back to being an Angel" I told them.

He considered for a moment, "you got it. But this deal comes with conditions, we won't draw your blood until you draw someone else's which seems fair doesn't it? It applies to Demons, Angels, Humans and monsters. Also, if Cas is to become an Angel again then he cannot be in charge of your safety slash us making sure the deal is kept. He's going to rejoin the garrison and stop the breaking of the seals while I shall make sure you keep your word"

I glanced over at Cas and he was still looking at the floor. I could see the wings clearer now and there was no excuse. He just didn't seem Human material. He wouldn't make it. He needed his family a hell of a lot more than he needed me.

"by the way, I won't be very impressed if you go and see each other. It's just because he's gotten a little too attached to you"

"Deal" my voice sounded hard and harsh even to my own ears.

I looked back at Zachariah who was wearing the biggest smile he could manage. My own smile had fallen. I felt Cas' eyes rise to try and catch mine. Tears welled in my eyes and I had to close them to stop them falling.

"Good" Zachariah said triumphantly, "I'll meet you at the hunter's house in the morning, I have paper work to draw up now. Cas however, needs to return to the garrison immediately"

In the blink of an eye the Angel's were gone and it felt like my heart was going to break into pieces. Cas stood silently next to me for a moment and the rosary began to rush full of life again. He had his Grace and power back. He was one of them again.

He disappeared without a word.

I felt weak.

Words couldn't describe what it felt like as I stumbled into Bobby's car and we drove home.

I tried not to think.


	47. Sentimentality

**Chapter Forty Seven- Sentimentality **

_A/N- It was pretty tempting to finish Marked off in the last chapter and start a new fic from that point on but I decided against it. Just because I selfishly want to get to 200 reviews ha-ha :)_

We got to Bobby's house in good time. I still had a few hours before Zachariah decided to come and ruin each and every one of my days until...well until God knows when.

While the boys stayed downstairs I took the extra time to take a peaceful shower. As I undressed I realised that it was unlikely I would be able to see Cas any time soon, if ever. The revelation hit me as hard as a semi travelling at two hundred miles an hour. My chest heaved and a painful wail escaped from my mouth. Tears cascaded down my flushed cheeks. I clutched hard onto the rosary. It was the only thing that could offer me any comfort in my naked state.

I didn't realise how much Cas had affected me. It was almost impossible to think that I had spent nearly every day with him until he was called away to deal with Anna. I doubted that I would have coped this well without him. Now it felt like the world had come crashing down around my ears.

What had I done?

I must've laid there for another half an hour. I was barely aware that the rosary's heat had intensified or that there was an achingly terrified being on the other end of it. It physically pained me to remove the piece of wood from around my neck now. But I had too, otherwise it would have been ruined in the hot shower.

* * *

When the dawning sun started to make its way through the windows illuminating those of us inside I found myself leaning against the door post looking into my room.

It was dull now. The wallpaper was starting to peel in the corners and behind the white iron railed bed. The wooden floor was dusty and the wardrobe sat lifelessly against the wall. It housed all of my clothes and possessions now. The window didn't look much better. The old glass appeared even thicker at the bottom. With the sun peering through the curtains I noticed that it was now spring. And that I missed the winter now.

I hadn't been away for more than a few weeks, a month and a half at best. But it felt like a life time.

My eyes travelled to the corner where a small wooden chair sat. There was a thin layer of dust covering the seat and in my mind's eye I saw an Angel leaning forward and resting his chin on his interlinked hands as he thought about Humanity.

"Being sentimental already?"

I bit my lip and jarred inside. I turned my head to look over my shoulder. Sure enough there was stood Zachariah. I could do nothing but send him a silent glare and return to watching the empty room.

* * *

I spent the next couple of weeks in silence or close enough to it. Bobby spoke to me as normal and I only returned with 'okay' or 'right'. The brother's had gone on the road again. We got their phone calls every three days, for some reason they wanted to be consistent. I assumed it had something to do with the demons that we're hanging about basically everywhere nowadays. I often stared out of the windows and felt them just beyond the chain link fence. Zachariah felt them too but he didn't really give a damn about them. Gabriel had also decided to stay away for the time being, I didn't hear his voice in my head or see his stupid grin. To be honest I wasn't sure if I was happy about this or not.

It was well and truly Spring when the phone rang and I had to answer it. Bobby had gone to the store in town, reluctantly leaving me alone with the Angel. I eyed the green receiver carefully before getting up from my position at the kitchen table and answering.

"Hello?"

"Hey Rox? Is that you?" it was Sam.

"Oh hey" I relaxed instantly although he took me off guard. They'd called just yesterday to say that they were investigating a string of passionate killings, "what's up?"

Zachariah lifted his balding head from the newspaper he was reading. On the front page I saw the headlines 'Hundreds dead in explosion' and 'mysterious storms circling US?' It didn't take a genius to figure out that these were the seals that were breaking. I was beginning to question Heaven's intent on actually preventing the apocalypse.

"Not much, is Bobby around?"

"Nope, he went to the store" I told him, "look is everything alright? You sound weird"

"Something's not right with this hunt"

"What do you mean?" I paused glancing over at Zachariah wondering if he would ever leave the room, "are you still working on that one where the husbands killed their wives?"

He sighed, "yeah, it's just everything leads back to this Nudie bar. Then this guy shows up and it's like a double of Dean, I'm not even kidding here"

"Huh, who is the guy?"

"He says he's from the FBI and is investigating the same case as us"

I leaned against the kitchen worktop, "that doesn't mean that he is. _You_ say you're from the FBI and you're not"

"That's what I'm thinking but Dean wouldn't consider it"

"I'm guessing you want Bobby to do some research then?" I wondered.

There was a sigh of relief, "would you tell him? This is the only time I can call without Dean knowing"

"I'll tell the old coot as soon as he gets back" I wrote a reminder down on a nearby slip of paper, "is there anything else odd about it?"

"Ugh, not really" he paused, "wait there is. Some blood cultures went missing. They showed an extreme level of this one hormone, it's the one that takes over in sex or something and all the men had stupidly high levels when they killed their wives"

"So you're thinking that this hormone is the thing that can link the men to whatever sent them love crazed?"

"Exactly but I have no idea who took the blood"

I shrugged, "try making a list of everyone who would be able to tamper or take any blood samples and that may lead you to the big bad monster"

"What do you mean?"

"Who else would be so interested in those blood samples? I reckon that thing knows you're on to it"

"Thanks Rox, anyway, are you okay?" he asked me. It was the first time since the deal was made that I had been asked that question.

"I'm fine" I sighed with the backwards glance to the Angel.

He was about to hang up.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you...seen him?" I asked cautiously.

He knew exactly who I meant and the answer was only disappointing, "no, I'm sorry. I've gotta go"

I placed the receiver down and ran my hands through my hair. It had grown considerably and needed a trim. I looked out of the window in front of me and saw grey figures stalking about in my peripheral vision.

The newspaper rustled behind me.

"That's the most you've talked since I got here...I'm getting the sense that you don't trust me very much"

"You couldn't be more right" I seethed through clenched teeth.

He merely chuckled.


	48. Volatile

**Chapter Forty Eight- Volatile**

_**A/N- Another update, I hope you enjoy this one. And thank you so much for all the feedback and reviews! Also thank you for reading!**_

I was sat opposite Zach when Bobby came in giving him the dead eye. He continued to read the paper apparently unaware of my glare. I had even started to tap my forefinger on the wooden surface of the table. He still didn't look up.

The old man came in with a paper bag in his arms. He went straight to the counter and started to put the few groceries away.

"Anyone call?" he asked.

I unlocked my jaw, "Sam did. He wants you to research the hunt or something. Apparently this FBI guy has turned up and is bosom buddies with Dean. And some blood cultures showing an extreme hormone that is created during sex were stolen"

He hadn't been expecting me to reply and nodded warily, "huh, I'll get on it now. Do they reckon it's on to them?"

"Not before they called"

He walked out of the room and headed off downstairs. I finally broke my stare. As I watched him go I realised that I as well as losing Cas I was starting to lose Bobby too. The man was like a Father to me now. I stopped tapping as the reality sunk in.

"Finally, you were beginning to annoy me" Zach quipped.

I ignored him. I stood abruptly and almost flew to the panic room. There was no way that I could have made it that quickly. Zach, thankfully, stayed in the kitchen.

I stopped at the cast iron door and peered in like a child who didn't know if she was allowed in or not. The man was sat facing the wall at the little wooden desk with papers, books and journals scattered about. There was a laptop balancing precariously on the corner of the desk. He took a sip out of an old cup. He quickly put it down and made an odd noise. I could imagine his face screwing up in disgust as he realised that the coffee was cold. He sat back in the chair and sighed.

"Bobby?"

He turned and motioned for me to come further into the room, "what's up?"

I sat on the makeshift bed nearby, "apart from the stain in the kitchen? Nothing really...well there is the usual"

"There's always the usual" he chuckled softly and carried on researching, "how you copin' without Cas?"

I gulped then, "I'm...I'm doing okay"

His eyes raised to meet mine, "bullcrap, you've been an emotional wreck"

There was nothing that I could say to that.

"One second you're quiet and look like you're gonna commit suicide and the next I half expect ya to go on a killing spree," he told me.

"He pisses me off," I started trying to explain, "Zach, I mean. Just him being there is...infuriating"

"And this has got nothing to do with Cas disappearing?"

"It has a lot to do with it. He took Cas away and he's always there to remind me of it," I leaned back and the wall felt cold against my clothed skin.

There was a comfortable silence then as I had some peace for the first time in weeks. I was watching everything and nothing at all while Bobby carried on at his desk. The rosary was still intense but a similar peace descended over that. A random thought popped into my head, how was Gabriel doing?

_Thinking about me now? _

I should have known better than to bother.

Suddenly Bobby stood up, "you'll be okay for a few days right?"

My eyes darted upwards, "why?"

"Those two are in deep trouble," he rushed out, "a siren or something just as deadly. Look, just stay inside and do not piss off Zachariah, not until I get back"

With those words he practically ran out the room and headed upstairs with his cell phone pressed tightly to his ear. I was a little gobsmacked so turned to look at the page he had come to in a book. It told me everything about a siren and it turned out that it did mean the ones that Odysseus encountered in Greek mythology.

"Holy shit," I managed to gasp. The boys were in big trouble.

"You know it's rude to say that right?" the voice of Zachariah sounded behind me. He had managed to startle me but carried on talking nonetheless, "so Bobby will be away for a few days. That leaves just you and me"

"What a shame," I leered sarcastically.

* * *

The next day I took the liberty of reading the national news paper that I hadn't been able to get to because _he'd_ been reading it. I flicked through the pages reading each and every article that caught my attention. Every other one was a disaster or a series of mysterious deaths. One especially caught my attention; a man who had been shot in the heart was still alive and functioning perfectly normally.

"I thought you were meant to be stopping these seals breaking," I remarked with a sideways glance over to the Angel stood by the window, "not let Lilith walk all over you"

"We're trying our best," he answered steely, "why don't you try and stop over six hundred potential seals from breaking or better yet predict which ones they are going to break?"

"That's your job. Damn well do it" I put the paper down.

"Why don't I just slit your throat right now?" he almost growled, "it'd solve a lot of my problems"

I scoffed, "Is that really a risk you're willing to take? I mean I'd be only brought back and of course, then I'd smite your ass"

I stood tall and squared up to him then. I still kept Cas' killing blade nearby, in fact it was still in my jacket which was resting on the back of one of the chairs. He did nothing though and I walked away.

I casually threw an insult over my shoulder, "grow some balls and do what you're supposed to"

* * *

That night Bobby returned from saving those two idiots. I heard his car pull up outside the house and proceeded to run down the stairs so I could meet him. Behind his car I also heard another one drifting behind, although this one was almost two miles away. When I reached the last step the door swung open to reveal Bobby looking wary.

"You're back then," a narcissisticvoice pointed out the obvious from the other side of the house.

He bit his lip and closed the door shut behind him. I was starting to get worried.

I stopped and gave the man a faint smile, "did it go well?"

"the idjits aren't dead if that's what you mean," he told me.

I felt a sigh of relief leave my body and we walked through into the living room.

"They're-" I cut him off.

"Coming here? I know," I grimaced, "don't ask how. I just do"

"Huh," he looked me up and down before saying anything more, "there been any issues?"

Just at that moment Zachariah appeared at the door with a small smile creeping up on his face, "apart from that half-breed being rude and disrespectful, no"

Bobby glared at the Angel then turned to me, "what did you do?"

"Nothing!" I exclaimed, "I just argued a little..."

"You argued with a damn Angel? After everything that's happened! Damnit, girl you're a new kinda stupid" he told me.

My mouth flapped for a bit, "I didn't..."

He walked into the kitchen and I followed like a kid.

"Think? Really, I know you've been through an awful lot but start thinkin' of yourself! You annoy the Angel's they'll call off the deal. They won't come after you, they'll go after Cas. Is that what you want?"

"No! But I am not letting that dick walk all over me!" I screamed, "the seals are breakin' and they're not trying! I can tell. They're going to let him out. _Lucifer_ is going to be let out and we're all gonna _die_!"

"No" the word stopped my ranting dead.

His jaw was set hard and he was facing away from me. His back was tense, just like the rest of his body.

I could see his face in the faint reflection given by the window. it looked like he was holding back tears. I knew it was hard to think that they didn't want to save mankind but what other explanation was there? The seals were breaking so fast and surely the whole of Heaven would be able to stop a bunch of Demons right?

"No," he repeated his voice breaking.

A door opened.

"Hey, anyone home?" Sam called out.

I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat and took the nearest exit. I left by the kitchen door and stood silently in the night air for a little while. The fresh air calmed me a little. I sat on the little wooden bench.

That's when I noticed it. A tickling to my left. It wasn't like a Demon. I glanced up in the darkness. Sure enough there was a silhouette there. A man, that's all that I could tell. Hope started to rise in me.

"Cas?" I asked desperately, fresh tears threatening to fall.

The figure moved silently into the light coming from the kitchen.


	49. Pray

**Chapter Forty Nine- Pray**

_**A/N- Thank you so much for the feedback and reading! Also, don't hate me! Ah, and I'm sorry if anyone is horrendously out of character, I'm currently just not with it all that much!**_

"Sorry, sweet cheeks"

The usually jovial voice had a genuine disappointment tint to it as Gabriel stepped into the light. He cast his eyes sideways into the kitchen and I heard the voices of my friends in there. He quickly sat next to me dipping out of sight. I looked away from him and up to the sky.

I used my shaking hand to wipe away the hopeful tears that were currently streaking their way down my cheeks. I took a shaky breath all too aware of the Archangel to my left watching every move I made.

"What do you want?" I asked him when I had composed myself enough to face him.

He shrugged, "you wondered how I was doing so I popped by"

"You have never just popped by for the sake of it"

He laughed, "Ha! That's true..."

I cast him a sideways glance opening inviting him to continue.

Gabriel snapped his fingers and a candy bar appeared in his hand. He began to unwrap it, "Everything that you said back there. It's true"

"What? About the Angel's wanting to let Lucifer out?"

"Yeah," the word squeaked out of him as he bit into the bar, "Just don't let my younger bro know that you're onto him. He may just use that as an excuse to kill you and Cas"

I hardened at the sound of that name. It still hurt that he'd just left without saying a single word to me. I had saved his life and his grace yet he still had nothing to say. My gaze drifted away from him and looked down at the floor. The rosary panged awkwardly. I guess Cas knew what I had just thought.

"But if I were you, I'd be more worried about when he's going to be let out"

"When?"

He nodded and chucked the empty wrapper onto the floor, "uh-huh. Start counting the seals and pray to my Dad. By the way, everything you know. Cas knows"

My eyes shot to him. He gave him a sly toothy smile before clicking his fingers yet again and disappearing into thin air. Unlike with the other Angels that I knew I couldn't hear any feathers fluttering when he took off. If Cas knew everything that I did, then didn't that place him in danger? I knew that the Angels weren't planning on stopping the apocalypse so did he apparently.

The door opened to my right and Sam beckoned me inside.

* * *

I found that Bobby had calmed down and he was now sat at the table drinking a cold beer out of a brown glass bottle. Dean was sat opposite him sending him awkward glances to both him and me. Sam went and sat between them and the door banged shut behind me. I stood there a moment, unsure of myself and what to do. Zachariah appeared at the other end of the kitchen smirking. My jaw tightened and I chose to stare at the table.

Silently, I walked to the wooden table and sat at the last remaining chair. Dean opened another beer and passed it to me still suspicious of what had happened between me and Bobby. No one spoke.

"Okay, I'll bite," Dean cleared his throat, "What happened?"

Bobby lifted his eyes and glanced over at me before opening his mouth, "Rox argued with him"

The brothers watched me for a moment not knowing what to say.

Then the old man carried on, "then we argued about the angels-"

"About me being stupid and careless recently," I overrode his quiet voice with my louder, bolder one. The boys weren't going to know about my suspicions and I wasn't going to tell them about my little protector. Especially when that douche bag Zachariah was around to overhear everything that was said by me and anyone else in the house.

He glanced at me with worried eyes. I knew that he thought it was definitely not the time to keep secrets from each other.

"How was the case?" I asked changing the subject before I could be questioned myself.

Both brothers looked away. Dean answered me, "Siren. We kinda got drugged by it too."

I nodded and we continued to sit in silence for a few more moments. I took a sip out of the bottle that I was holding in my hand. The silence was almost unbearable.

Thankfully, Sam's cell started to ring and blared out a tune as it vibrated on the table. He answered as he placed the piece of technology to his ear.

"_Sam, I need to talk to you. The demons are planning to break another seal. Something about reapers. You have to check it out_"

"Err, Ruby. I can't talk at the moment. I'll call you back" he hung up abruptly.

Zachariah raised his eyebrows, "still consorting with that slut, are we, Sam?"

He pursed his lips and refused to meet anyone's gaze. What she had said reminded me of something, something important that had been in one of the newspapers. I got up and searched through the pile of national newspapers that were lying on the side. I found the paper and flicked to the page that the article was on.

Dean watched me curiously, "What's up?"

"I think I know what she's talking about," I answered not really listening to him. I skimmed down the page and found the small article that was neatly tucked away in the corner under the ad for a plastic surgery company, "here it is"

I circled the article with a pen that I grabbed from nearby. Blue ink surrounded the words as I handed it to the men sat around the table.

'_A man shot through the heart with a nine millimetre gun by a mugger has not only lived but walked away unharmed from the incident in Greybull, Wyoming. _

_Mr Jenkins said that, "it felt like angels were watching over me, it's like I've been given another chance."_

_This follows other incidents at the town where the townsfolk are simply not dying. A man dying of terminal cancer has made a miraculous recovery and has taken his wife out for their twentieth wedding anniversary. There have been no deaths in the town for the past week, sadly the last person to die was a young boy by the name of Cole Griffiths._'

"You think this is what Ruby meant?" Sam asked me.

"What else could she have meant?"

Bobby asked, "you heard what she said to Sam, right? You do realise the rest of us didn't"

"Sorry," I apologised. Sometimes it was hard to remember that not everyone was exactly like me. I often forgot that normal humans couldn't hear, see or sense things as well as I could.

Sam shrugged, "she just called and explained that these people weren't dying and that she thinks it's another seal about to be broken"

"So what?" Dean asked, "are we just gonna jump because she _thinks_ it's a seal"

"What other choice do we have?" I asked out loud. There really wasn't anything else that we could do, not really.

"What do you mean by '_we'_?" Zachariah eyed me warily, "You are not going anywhere"

I took a step back and leaned against the cupboards behind me, "And why not?"

"Because I don't trust you," he told me.

"I..." I didn't finish my insult. I decided to listen to what Bobby had said earlier and to lie as low as I possibly could.

Dean stood and downed his remaining beer in one, "don't worry, we'll kick some demon ass for you. And keep an eye out"

The corners of my frown twitched into a smile. I knew what he meant almost instantly although I doubted that they would actually see him. Sam got up to join his older brother and they made their way to the Impala. I walked with them woefully and said my goodbyes at the door. It had been decided that me and Bobby would research the book of Revelations while they went and tried to figure out what was going on.

I didn't appreciate being left behind again or being told what to do by Zachariah but I couldn't let him know what I knew. If the seal was real then I had alerted Cas to it just by thinking about it. Hopefully he would help them stop whatever they were going to do.

* * *

Late that night I decided to do as Gabriel had suggested and pray to his Dad.

_God, help us. Please. I know that I don't know your plan and I probably wouldn't understand it in a million years but please, look after the Winchesters and Bobby and Cas. Don't let Lucifer rise out of hell, don't let the Angels get away with it. _


	50. Tears

**Chapter Fifty- Tears**

_**A/N- Just a little reminder of the time line as several people have told me they are getting lost. The boys have just run off to deal with the events in Death Takes a Holiday. The events in this take place just afterwards. I've also noticed that I've developed a sweet tooth that could rival the great Gabester himself! And I am no longer a redhead- Brunette all the way!**_

The week that followed was the same as the month before. Zachariah barely left me alone, the rosary was still distant and I attempted to be as polite as possible. Bobby and I researched as much as we could and we helped the boys when they called us for any information that they needed. Apparently they had brought in Pamela to see the Reapers and save the seal after realising that they needed to walk the spirit world to accomplish the task.

We were sat waiting for the call that it was going to tell us how it went. I was sat at the kitchen table checking my cell every few seconds to see if there was a message or if it had started ringing. Bobby was going much the same opposite me but he eyed the multitude of telephones on the wall. Zachariah was in the next room ignoring us. I assumed that he was reading yet another newspaper.

* * *

A few hours later I glanced at my watch. It was almost three in the morning. The solstice moon had been and gone hours ago. They should have called by now. Bobby and I were only kept awake by nervousness and worry. I sipped on my beer and finally lost all sense of patience.

"That's it," I broke the silence and picked up my cell phone, "I'm calling them."

Bobby shook his head tiredly, "they'll call when they're ready."

"They better be ready soon," I huffed and placed my cell back on to the table.

* * *

Another three hours and we got a call. It was six in the morning and we were still at the kitchen table. We had moved on from beer to coffee in a bid to stay coherent.

_At last_, I thought.

"_Bobby_?"

"Dean, you sound like crap" Bobby told him, "what happened?"

"_We stopped the seal..."_

"But?"

"_It's Pam. A demon got to her while we were..._" his voice broke, "_Bobby, she's dead_"

A sob caught in my throat as it hit home. Tears started to form in Bobby's eyes. The funeral was going to be held in two days. It was going to be your standard cremation with nearest and dearest.

* * *

Days later I was ready and dressed in a polite black dress out of respect. I made my way down the stars to join Bobby who was wearing a suit and stood at the front door. For once, he wasn't wearing that baseball cap. Just as we were about to leave Zachariah appeared in the doorway.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To a damn funeral!" Bobby snapped at him, "She died saving one of your freakin' seals so the least you can do is let her go to her funeral"

He scoffed, "why should I?"

"Because you really don't want to be left alone with me," I threatened him through blurry eyes, "you never know what'll happen."

"I could have you killed for even thinking that," he remarked, "a whole garrison of Angel's here to rip you to shreds."

I dabbed at my eyes with a tissue, "well it would be interesting to see who would die first. Me or you..."

He considered for a few moments and seethed silently, "as long as you're back before dusk, I guess I can overlook it."

He finally stood out of the way and allowed us to get past him. Bobby drove us over to where the funeral was taking place. The drive itself was eerily silent. Not even the radio was playing.

* * *

We met the brothers outside of the crematorium five minutes before the ceremony or service was due to start. People of all walks of life and ages strolled past us and into the small chapel like building behind us. It never struck me before just how important Pam was to so many people and that by the look of it she knew quite a few hunters other than the ones that I was stood with.

Dean and Sam were down trodden. It was as clear as day that they thought they were responsible for her death. But they weren't. It was that demons fault.

"How are you two doing?" I asked them lightly as we walked together into the building and took our seats at the back of the room. They were the only ones left.

Dean shrugged as he sat on my right, "could be better."

Sam merely shrugged refusing to answer. I looked pitifully at him and saw only grief and guilt.

The building was nicely done. There was a small foyer area where people could go and sit by themselves if things got too much for them. The main room was fitted out with wooden pews and at the front there was a large wooden cross. Underneath it there was a pair of blue curtains that were currently open to show the pale oak coffin. Various people went up to the coffin to pay their respects.

It wasn't long before the service started and the young man speaking told us that he wasn't a vicar or religious man. Neither had that been what she had wanted. He told us that she didn't know what was on the other side so she didn't want to upset any religion in case she got the wrong one. There was a wave of light chuckles in the room. The people who knew her best made some testimonials about her and her character and what she would most likely be doing in heaven right at that moment.

As the service went on I realised that while I had only had the pleasure of meeting Pam once I found myself morning her. She was a good person and she had never done much to upset anyone. Well not that I knew of. She had probably been the only person in the hunter world who didn't judge me for what I was or what I could do.

That was another worrying point. My hearing had intensified recently and so had my other senses. Surely that signalled something. There was a fear growing inside me now about them. If the Angel's had wanted to kill me they would have done it regardless of the prophecy or of whether Gabriel was helping me or not. Why did the Demon's want me to be in Lucifer's entourage? Just how powerful would I get? And what would happen? More importantly, why was I the subject of several prophecies?

The endless series of questions whirled around in my head. I had no answers. I don't think anyone did apart from God and he wasn't exactly going to pop by for a cup of coffee and give them to me. I'm sure he had more important things to do.

The growing fear turned into a growing panic. What was I expected to do? Was I supposed to save the world or end it? Would I even have a choice or would I just be consumed by my own power in the end? I didn't want to find out. I knew I didn't. But I had to know.

The panic grew and grew. In fact, it grew so much that I was terrified the three men I was with would notice it. My breath heightened and became quicker for a moment.

A hand on my shoulder startled me. It was Dean. Everyone was starting to leave. I wiped away any evidence that I had been crying and went outside with them.

"It was a nice service, I guess" Sam mused with a frown.

Bobby nodded as we walked out into the sunshine, "she couldn't have done better herself."

We continued to walk to the cars in silence. I drifted behind them and Dean slowed until he was walking in step with me.

"Cas showed up," he told me quietly.

I kept my arms folded and tried to stop myself getting hopeful, "yeah?"

He nodded, "he wasn't himself. He wanted to know that he's sorry for just leaving the way he did."

"Oh," was all that I could say and changed the subject, "are you moving on or coming back with us?"

"Me and Sammy are gonna go back to the motel room and grab our things, we'll be at Bobby's in the morning..."

* * *

A few hours later we were back at the house. The sun was just setting as we pulled into the yard and walked onto the porch. Zachariah was waiting just as I expected him to be.

"Tell me, why do humans insist on calling a laying to rest ceremony a Funeral. After all it does have the word _fun_ in it yet there actually quite depressing occasions."

"Can it," Bobby growled at the Angel as stalked upstairs to get changed.

I wandered almost aimlessly into the living room and sat myself down on the pink couch. I had managed to subdue the growing panic inside me while I was in the car. I had distracted myself by messing around on my cell and listening to the radio.

But now, the panic and fear was rising again.

My breathing got faster and shallower. I could feel a panic attack coming on. I really didn't need that hanging over my head while Zachariah was hanging around. I pinched the bridge of my nose and began to try and slow my breathing.

"Is this meant to be grieving?" Zachariah coined as he watched me from his position stood at the window.

When I had it under enough control Bobby came down the stairs back in his usual attire. He went straight through into the kitchen and I followed needing some form of company. I felt the panic and fear hovering underneath the surface threatening to overwhelm me again. He gathered a few pans and set about making dinner.

"Want some?"

I nodded barely aware now, "yeah, thanks"

I glanced out the window and saw that it was completely pitch black now. The edges of my consciousness twitched as the shadows and demons skirted around the perimeter waiting for their chance to get close to me.

"You alright?" Bobby asked me with a concerned glance as he tied his apron around his growing belly.

"I...I..." I stopped trying to explain. Where would I even begin? I shook my head, "nothing, I just need some fresh air that's all."

"Huh, okay then. Don't go too far," he warned me as I wandered closer to the door.

I noticed that the salt line was still unbroken. Thank God. I nodded showing that I had heard him before pulling the door open and disappearing into the night.

I wandered around the back of the house for a few minutes. I was still in my heels and had been all day. It surprised me that my feet didn't ache in the slightest. That thought made my mind return to the fear and panic. Tears threatened to overtake me and my breathing quickened. Salty water streaked their way down my flushed cheeks and I moved away from the light coming from the windows.

I found myself rounding the corner of the house not wanting the two beings inside to see me in this state. I stumbled sobbing to the garage where I had cleaned Dean's cut all those months ago. Then something stopped me dead.

I gazed up from the dusty floor into the night. There was something here. I felt their presence as if I was holding their hand. I peered into the darkness trying to see what it was but the tears blurred my vision and made everything appear sketchy on the details.

I gulped and felt a pang of torment and pain through the wooden rosary hanging around my neck. I bit my lip to stop a painful howl escaping from my throat.

Then I realised how familiar the being felt. I had almost forgotten that calm innocence that I knew so well.

"Castiel," I whispered his name into the dark air.

I saw him then. I saw the silhouette of a man with a shock of dark hair. The trench coat billowed out around him in the gentle wind. The light in his eyes sparkled a little more.

The rosary felt so _alive_.

"Roxanne."


	51. Kiss

_**Chapter Fifty One- Kiss**_

_A/N- Enjoy! _

"Cas," I whispered the word again almost too afraid to believe that it was him.

His mouth twitched into a faint smile. The next moment I was running to him. I covered the distance of twenty five feet in little more than a few seconds. He opened his arms to catch me and I felt them wrap around me when I collided forcefully with his body. I reached up and cupped his face in my hands before pulling him closer. Our lips met in a passionate embrace. I felt him go tense and distance himself as the new emotion pulsed through him. His emotion only triumphed in intensifying mine. There was fear, worry and many others. But it felt right.

I leaned in a little closer not willing to lose him. He gave into it the surge of deeper, more human feelings and kissed me fiercely. Fresh tears streamed down my face and they mingled with his. The rosary burned with such a heat that it left faint scold marks around my neck where the wood touched my skin.

Finally, _reluctantly_, we parted. We held on to each other and I stared up at him. His startled eyes were looking away from me as he struggled to control his emotions. Absently I rested a hand on his chest before pushing myself away from him. It was difficult to move away. Even though it physically hurt me to take a step back I still did it rather than cause him any discomfort.

An awkward silence filled the air that we shared between us.

"I don't know what to say," I managed to stutter.

He raised his eyes from the ground up to meet mine. They were wide and fearful, "I should not have done that."

I took a step towards him in a hope of calming him down and stopping him from running. Tears started to gather in my eyes. I attempted to wipe them away and my voice broke, "what?"

"I should not have come here," he told me panicking. He took a step back from me and his eyes darted around into the darkness.

"Cas?" fresh tears began to fall.

"I have to go," he looked at me one last time as he bit back tears of his own.

A second later and with a flutter of his wings he was gone and I was left alone again. My voice was caught by the lump of sorrow growing in my throat. I looked upwards and let out a shaky breath. I blinked the tears away so that they would fall down my face. The sky was clear. Stars twinkled and winked at me from their heights.

Suddenly a sob escaped from my chest. I appeared to collapse in on myself, I turned inwards only able to focus on the internal torment, on the humiliation and on the utter desire to find him. I took a breath and another choking sob erupted. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the lights back at the house flickering. But I ignored them. I had to move. I had to do something otherwise it felt like I was going to go insane.

_Easy now tiger_, Gabriel's voice warned me.

I paced up and down the stretch of yard that I was in. My tears kept falling. The rosary was as hot as hell now. Although I knew Cas was sorry it didn't stop the sadness that started to rise in me. The sadness turned to frustration and when I reached a dark car on bricks I lost it momentarily. I lashed out with my right hand shattering the window in moments. The pain and the sound of the glass breaking brought me out of the bottomless sink hole of emotion.

I took a breath and brought my hand to my chest clutching it tight. The pain lasted no more than five minutes but my skin didn't heal. There were shards of glass preventing the flesh from knitting together and reforming as it had done when Ruby has cut me.

I wiped my eyes with my uninjured hand and made my way back to the house.

_-M-_

When I entered the kitchen I saw Bobby dishing out a meal onto two plates. He wasn't looking my way and the door behind me accidently swing shut with a loud bang. I didn't jump. I wasn't even surprised. I just felt empty.

He turned and saw me. His eyes widened, "Rox! What happened to you?"

I shook my head not moving.

His eyes travelled downwards, "what the hell happened to your hand?"

Absently I answered, "I slipped."

"On what, a football field of glass?"

My eyes drooped and fresh tears started to fall, "I'm such an idiot."

He dropped the bowls, pans and cutlery before rushing over and holding me like a child. He tried to soothe me but it didn't work.

"Why, what's happened girl?"

I shook my head and continued to cry into his shoulder.

Zachariah watched me silently from his position leaning on the door post. His face gave away nothing. But I got scared. He was supposed to be watching me all the time. Would he have sensed Castiel?

_-M-_

The next day I was in a solemn mood. After I had stopped crying Bobby had removed the glass from my hand and it had healed nicely although there was still a fine patchwork of scars on my palm betraying the fact that I had been injured at some point.

When the brother came by, just like they said that they would, I was sat in the living room pretending to watch the dusty and old television. There were some mindless cartoons playing. Dean sensed something was wrong as soon as he saw me. Zachariah hung around at the other side of the room while we talked.

"What's up?" he asked me tenderly.

My eyes stayed fixed on the screen, "nothing."

"Rox, please."

A heavy sigh left my chest and my eyes travelled to the angelic being who was listening intently to our conversation. Dean followed my gaze and realisation graced his features. He knew why I couldn't talk but I wouldn't have said anything even if Zachariah hadn't have been there.

Instead he took to fishing for clues by saying random things that had happened in the last few days, "So Pam's gone."

My eyes went back to the television.

"Did Bobby shout at you?"

I didn't even blink.

"You missing Cas?"

I closed my eyes and breathed for a few moments ignoring everything around me for at least a little while. Dean moved closer placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"I have stuff to do," I whispered before walking off.

_-M-_

Later I was stood at my bedroom window watching Dean tune up the Impala. Slowly, Sam walked over with two beers and they had a good old brotherly chat. It was nice to see them spend some quiet time together.

My ears picked up when I heard my name being mentioned.

I saw Dean's lips move, "what's up with Rox?"

Sam shrugged and took a sip of his beer, "maybe she's shook up by Pam."

"That's not it. When I asked her about Cas earlier she just froze me out. I think something happened."

"Ah, sometimes I think you over think some things."

"I mean it, Sam. Something has happened."

"It's going to upset her. He just upped and left without a word."

Dean shook his head, "it's not that."

"It's not our business."

I raised my hand to the glass and watched them more deeply. My breath started to fog up the glass. No one knew that I was able to listen in on conversations like this. If they did I think they would freak out more than I had done last night.

"Why the hell isn't it?"

Sam looked up to his brother, "You love her, don't you?"

Zachariah startled me, "Eavesdropping is rude, you know."

I blinked and took a step back from the glass to face him, "so is sneaking up on people."

He smirked at me, "at least I don't break any rules."

"Excuse me?"

"You tapped into your power last night," he smiled and wagged his finger at me, "that's naughty."

"What are you talking about?" I couldn't be bothered with any of his mind games right now.

He rolled his eyes, "you managed to alter the electricity supplied to the house causing the lights to flicker for about three minutes straight."

My eyebrow cocked when I remembered the lights in the windows turning themselves off and on again in rapid succession. I had been upset and distressed but I had caused that?

"I did that?"

"Oh yes. Although that does make me wonder what got you into such a state into the first place, heck I even heard you sobbing."

I watched him carefully wondering where he was going with this conversation. The angel never spoke to me unless he absolutely had too or he was trying to annoy and scare me.

He took a step closer and whispered in my ear. His voice was callous and deadly, "I know that you don't think I see the signs. Do you think that I'm blind?"

His words made me blood run cold. I closed my eyes and he was gone. The rosary flared for a few moments but I remained steely against the surge of emotion. I had to be able to think clearly. Did he know?

Had he seen _us_?

_-M-_

The Winchesters hung around for a couple of days. Slowly, I became myself again and the seemingly unnoticed scars on my hands faded into nothing. I became careful while I was around Dean as I hadn't been able to his answer to Sam's question. Although I guessed that I didn't want to know.

It would just make things awkward between us as I didn't return the feelings. I mean, I loved him sure but only as a brother. He was a cute guy and he was sweet but my heart just wasn't interested in him. I couldn't tell him that however I didn't want to hurt him.

We were all sat at the kitchen table on the forth morning since Pamela's funeral. The somber mood was slowly beginning to lift. We were able to laugh now. Only softly but we could. It felt right to start to enjoy ourselves again.

"You all want eggs?" Bobby asked us wearing his usual apron saying 'kiss the cook'. He was waving a few eggs in one hand and the frying pan in the other.

"Sure."

"As long as it's with bacon."

"You know I always have eggs."

We answered at once with our different responses as we continued doing our own thing. Dean was reading the paper, Sam was busy researching on his laptop and I was sipping gently at my cup of coffee.

Bobby glared at us and shook his head as he turned back around to face the hob, "idjits."

I lifted my eyes and chuckled lightly. The two brothers joined in. This was probably the closest thing to a normal breakfast that we'd had since the deal was made.

I shuddered.

"What's up?" Sam asked and the other Winchester raised his head.

I didn't answer straight away as I tried to explore the odd feeling I had on my skin. It was almost a tickling sensation that made its way across the entire surface of my body before concentrating itself on one particular area. I recognised this feeling as the one I usually got when angels were hanging around and I didn't know they were there. The feeling I got for demons was a deeper intuition. It was a tingling that I got in my stomach that was almost like butterflies.

"Someone's coming," I started trying to determine the direction. After a few seconds I did, "from the yard."

"Who?" Dean asked as Bobby turned around to watch me, "A demon?"

"No. It's the angels. There are two of them, I think."

"Is one of them Zachariah?" Bobby asked me.

"No," I shook my head. I tried to probe a little further. An awkward mood descended over me, "I think its Cas and someone else."

"I thought Cas wasn't allowed to be near you," Sam reminded me.

I glared across the table at him just as two beings appeared in the room close to the door leading outside into the yard. Bobby went back to frying the eggs and Zachariah walked into the room to join us. I looked across and saw Castiel standing next to Uriel. My eyes met with Castiel's and after a second or two he looked away. I locked my jaw and averted my eyes.

"Well, well, well," Zachariah started, "why are you here?"

Castiel started, "Angels are dying."

"Dying?"

"Yes. We believe that they are being killed by demons," Uriel answered his superior.

Sam interrupted the conversation, "But why are you _here_?"

"We have detained Alistair," Castiel told us.

I dropped the cup that I was holding in my hand. It didn't shatter but the fresh, warm coffee inside spilled all over the table. I busied myself with getting a cloth and cleaning it up. Dean attempted to help me but I snatched his cloth from him and did it myself while they continued with their conversation.

"So?" Zachariah leered at the two angels.

"We have come to request help from Dean Winchester," the dark haired one told us.

He stood up, "What?"

"We know that you are skilled in certain areas," Uriel started, "Namely torture."

I stopped what I was doing and paid more attention to what was happening. My eyes darted between all the figures in the room wondering who would speak next. Dean remained silent and my eyes rested on Castiel. He held contact this time and appeared to plead with me. No one seemed to notice us.

"We need you to get Alistair to reveal who is killing members of our garrison."

"No! I'm not doing it."

"There is no other option."

After a few moments Dean agreed to go with them. Our eyes held until suddenly they all disappeared at once with no warning. I blinked when I realised that I was staring at air. We panicked openly when we noticed that Dean had gone with them too.

"They couldn't have just taken him!" Sam started, "He can't do it. I know he can't."

"Sam, what are you talking about?" I asked while Zachariah made himself scarce like he usually did.

He closed his laptop, "when Dean was in hell something happened, something bad. It changed him."

I nodded, "how are we going to find him?"

"Get Ruby but you're stayin' here," Bobby interrupted us.

Without another word Sam stalked off with his cell phone glued to his ear as he tried to get in touch with the demon. In the end he had to go and meet her because she couldn't come up to the house. We wished him luck and told him to keep us in the loop with everything that happened.


	52. Change

_**Chapter Fifty Two- Change**_

_A/N- An angst filled one up ahead! I hope you all enjoy it! _

We waited anxiously for the next five hours. There was nothing for us to take our minds off of what was happening to the two Winchesters. Sam had failed to get in touch and neither had Dean. The worst thoughts possible started to run through my mind.

Dean getting butchered by Alistair, Sam bursting in just to see his brother getting killed and then him loosing it. In the end Sam would end up dead or he would take down Alistair in the most unnatural way possible with Ruby looking proud in the background. The angels however were nowhere to be seen in my little nightmare.

I raised my hands to cover my face as I sighed. I was sat at the kitchen table along with Bobby. I heard him shift from his position and I peeked through my fingers at what he was doing. He was standing up and grabbing his coat.

"What are you doing?" I asked. My voice was a much higher pitch than usual.

He looked at me with sad eyes, "I'm going after them. We don't know what's happened."

"Exactly!" I started standing up to block his path, "we have no idea what is happening. Alistair is involved. He is terrifying and he is more than capable of killing humans. If Cas and Uriel are doing their job properly then everything will be fine."

"You keep tryin' to convince yourself with that, don't ya?"

"Yes," I nodded, "That's because I trust Cas. Uriel can go to hell for all I care but I know that Cas wouldn't let anything bad happen to those boys. Please, just stay."

My pleading seemed to do the trick as the man huffed and removed his coat. He sat back down opposite me and we continued to wait for any sign or signal that everything was okay.

The clock hanging over the kitchen doorway sounded louder as it ticked every second and then every minute away.

_-M-_

We got a call from Sam an hour later.

"_Sorry, I've just arrived outside of the place they've took him too. I haven't had chance to call_."

His voice crackled but it wasn't from any static. It just didn't sound natural anymore. For a few moments I assumed that Ruby was in the background talking. It wasn't the case though. That was actually Sam's voice.

"That's a lie and you know it, boy! We've been worried sick about ya idjits over here."

"_I'm sorry but it was a long drive and I kinda forgot. I'm gonna go and grab Dean now_."

"Do not do anything stupid!" Bobby hollered down his cell phone to him.

He hung up without another word and there was a tension hanging in the air.

"There's something wrong with Sam," I muttered darkly.

"What do you mean?" Bobby turned and asked me when he had placed his cell away.

I shrugged, "I don't know. He just sounds different."

"We'll all have a talk when they get back," he considered the information to himself for a long while.

Zachariah poked his head around the doorway checking that we were still there. When he saw us he merely rolled his eyes skywards and disappeared again. He often retreated to the study or another area of the house that we rarely went to. I guessed he didn't like the human stench.

Suddenly the rosary began to itch. It was like I had to do something, that I had to get up on my feet rather than just sit around. My eyes flicked to the yard that I could see through the kitchen window. I had the urge to walk outside.

"I'm going for a walk," I told the old man distantly as I stood warily from my seat and advanced outside.

_-M-_

The wind was picking up and had been for most of the day. I wrapped my arms around myself to try and retain some warmth seeing as I was only wearing a thin sweater and some casual jeans. My hair was tied up after being cut ready for the funeral the other day. I looked up and down both sides of the house. The itching had gotten worse. I had the urge to walk to my left around the side of the house. As I did so I couldn't help but wonder if this was a good idea.

I didn't stop walking until I was stood in the middle of a couple of wrecked cars that were being used for parts. The garage was locked up tight. I felt the same tickling all over my skin as I did hours before. My head whipped around worriedly. It was an angel.

I bet that it wasn't Gabriel. He had a bit of a habit of sneaking up on me.

"Rox," a tired, gravelly voice greeted me.

I whirled on the spot to face them. Cas stood there bruised and bloodied before me although his wounds appeared to heal slowly before my very eyes. He was wary. His eyes kept shifting from mine to the floor.

"Castiel," I said formally looking him up and down. I had not forgotten what he had done last night nor had I forgiven him for it, "What do you want?"

"I..." he started raising his blue innocent eyes, "I wanted to talk."

I shifted uncomfortably as my resolve began to weaken and fracture. I gulped, "about?"

"It is hard to explain," he began. I let him continue, "Dean tortured Alistair although I was thoroughly against it. It was an order from Heaven. It was a _direct_ order."

I nodded. My walls of resistance were crumbling further still, "Okay. What does that mean?"

He took a deep breath full of emotion, "It means that I doubted my Father."

"You're doubting God?" I gaped. Then I considered something else, "God tells his angels to torture?"

His eyes went to the dirt, "No. I don't believe he does. I believe that...the orders are not coming from my Father anymore."

I approached him with worried eyes. It was clear where this line of thought was going to put him. He was going to fall and end up on Earth. I wondered, "So what are you going to do?"

"I am going to think for myself although it is difficult to do," he gave me a brief, fleeting smile, "I am also sorry for how I behaved last night."

Tears began to fill my eyes although I didn't understand why. I wiped them away quickly blinking rapidly as I did so.

"Why are you crying?" he tilted his head slightly to the left.

"I don't know," I managed to answer. Another thought occurred to me then, "was it you who caused that feeling in the rosary? Did you bring me out here?"

He glanced at me sheepishly, "I did not want Zachariah to know."

I laughed then. It was my first true carefree laugh in so long. It felt good. I quietened down when I noticed that there was still something wrong with him, "What's happened?"

"I have doubts about Uriel. I believe he is not telling me the truth."

"What do you mean?"

"My brothers and sisters are dying yet Alistair claimed to have no knowledge of it. He also escaped from the Devil's trap that I built. He should not have been able to break it. Uriel was the only being capable of breaking the trap."

I took a step backwards in shock. My hand flew to my open mouth, "Did he hurt anyone?"

Castiel's eyes avoided my own as he answered me, "Dean is in hospital. Alistair almost exorcised me to Heaven but Sam arrived before he could. Something is wrong with him. His psychic powers have grown. I fear Ruby is behind it."

His knowledge reinforced my own doubts.

I started to cry, "Is he okay?"

His eyes met mine. They were wide and sad, "he will live."

"Oh thank God," I gasped. Tears cascaded down my cheeks and I approached him. I held his hands and looked deep into his eyes, "which hospital is he at? Cas, I need to know."

He gulped and watched my hands as they clasped his own, "Saint Martin's Hospital, Cheyenne, Wyoming."

"Okay, now you have to leave. You have to get out of here before Zach sees or senses you. You do not share any of the thoughts that you've had with anyone else, okay?"

His eyes flickered up again. He watched me silently. There were tears of his own beginning to fall. I watched as one slowly rolled down his skin.

"If any of your superiors find out then you will fall and die, do you understand me?" I raised a hand to his face and wiped the tear away. My voice was breaking, "you cannot come here anymore. I don't want you die, Cas. That is the last damn thing that I want."

His hand came up to his face and squeezed mine tightly. He looked at me with pleading eyes. I shut my own which sent another wave of tears gushing down. I felt his presence disappear and when I opened mine I found that there was only air in front of me.

_-M-_

When I got back to the house Bobby was on the phone with Sam. He hung up and turned to me with tears in his eyes.

"Dean's been hurt. He's at Saint Martin's in Cheyenne."

I nodded not really sure what to think anymore.

_-M-_

A few moments later we were ready to head out of the door when Zachariah raised his ugly head. He smirked at me from his position on the sofa in the study as I walked by.

"Where are you going?"

I stopped walking and turned back to face him. Tears were threatening to overwhelm me at any moment. I glared down at him, "Dean is lying in a hospital bed thanks to you and your garrison. I'm going to visit him and make sure that none of you dicks actually managed to kill him! If you want to stop me then you're free to do so."

I turned on my heel and left the building to join Bobby in the car. Zachariah didn't attempt to stop me. I wasn't surprised in the slightest.

_-M-_

It was hours before we got to the hospital. I charged ahead of Bobby when we got there as I couldn't wait for the elevators to take us up to Dean's room so I took the stairs instead. When I got there I found Sam pacing up and down.

When he saw me he began to walk towards me. When we met we threw our arms around each other in a tearful hug. I was about to ask him how he was when I caught a weird scent from his neck. It was difficult to place. It was similar to a watered down version of Ruby.

"What are you?" I whispered in his ear just as Bobby's heavy feet sounded around the corner.

He released me and gazed fearfully. He knew damn well what I asking about. There was something he wasn't telling us.

"Sam!" Bobby called behind me.

I took that as my cue to leave. I ghosted into Dean's room and sat in the spare green chair pushed up close to the bed. He looked a wreck. Machines bleeped regularly and a tube travelled up his nose supplying oxygen to his body.

I stroked his forehead and began to sob. I broke down as I looked at the man.

_-M-_

It was near mid-night when there was any sign of the man coming around. Sam had disappeared hours ago and I didn't dare think where he had gone. Bobby slept quietly in a chair by the wall that one of the nurses had kindly brought in.

I was holding Dean's hand and made circular motions with my thumb to try and soothe whatever nightmares he was suffering with. He took a deeper breath than normal and his green eyes flickered open lazily. He was doped up on morphine.

I leaned forward and smiled at him. This time tears of happiness sparkled in my eyes, "Hey there."

"Rox?" he struggled to say the word. His eyes looked at me wildly, "is it really you?"

"Shush," I hushed him stroking his forehead with my other hand. My voice was barely above a whisper, "it's me. Everything's okay."

"I did it," he whimpered, "I started it."

"Shush, what did you start?"

"The apocalypse," tears began to fall. He griped at my hand, "Alistair told me."

"It's okay," I soothed him. I chose to ignore the words for the moment, "It's okay."

There was a moment of silence as he looked at me. His eyes were droopy and he was about to fall asleep at any second.

Out of the blue he whispered, "I love you, Rox. Running out of ketchup was the best thing I ever did."

"Shush now. You have to sleep," I told him.

His eyes closed and I waited until his breathing had slowed again. When I knew he was asleep I sat back in the chair and glanced up at the doorway. I saw Castiel standing there watching me with forlorn eyes. There was a deep ache in the rosary like there was a longing, a craving for something he didn't have.

In the moment that our eyed met I realised something.

I loved him.

Within the blink of an eye he had vanished again.


	53. Blood 20

_**Chapter Fifty Three-Blood**_

_A/N- Sorry if this one seems a little bit short. Has anyone else been having issues with this site or is it just me? But AuntMo kindly forwarded a way for me to upload because she's such a star! Enjoy!_

In the morning the doctors and nurses came in and assessed Dean. Miraculously, he had healed in only a couple of hours. They found it astonishing. I knew however that Castiel had done his trick. One or two of them wanted to run further tests to make sure he wasn't going to die as soon as he left the building. The man refused and they let him leave without an issue.

Bobby and Sam had helped Dean collect what little things he had in the room while I wandered the hospital. I couldn't bear being near either brother. There was something seriously wrong with Sam and it repulsed me to even look at him. Whatever had happened to make him that way it had involved a demon which was more than likely named Ruby.

I couldn't be around the older Winchester for a completely different reason. It was just awkward after last night. I didn't know if he remembered saying those words to me or not. He was drugged and injured after all. What if he did remember saying it though? And worse, what if he meant it?

He was a sweet guy. But I just didn't feel the same. If I had to tell him then I would break his heart. If I broke his heart I knew that I would lose a great friend. Dean was already damaged from his time in hell. I knew it would only make things worse.

So I actively avoided both of them for weeks afterwards. I ignored messages, phone calls and even when they came to visit. Zachariah became vigilant for once. He watched me all the time and Castiel never came back to the house. Even though I was lonely I still had the rosary. Both me and the angel clung to each other through it. Occasionally, the rosary became heated like Castiel was angry or fighting or fearful. I noticed that Zachariah was becoming weary.

Things were heating up. I wondered how many seals were left.

_-M-_

Weeks later I was sat at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee while Bobby was cleaning a couple of his guns outside. Zachariah was looking out of the kitchen window. He was humming gently to himself.

My cell began to buzz again on the table. I checked the caller ID. It was Dean. I ignored the call hoping that he'd just give up soon. I knew he wanted to talk only to me otherwise he would have called the land line.

"Ignoring him now?" Zachariah asked slyly over his shoulder.

I eyed him, "it's nothing to do with you."

"Oh think it is."

"Oh?"

He came and sat opposite me, "you are one of the few things that actually make him cooperate with us. Without you, our job would be so much harder."

My eyes narrowed and I folded my arms. My glare was enough to turn any human to stone. I was about to retort when my cell bleeped and vibrated. I picked it up and glanced at the screen.

_One new voicemail_.

I shook my head and dialled. An electronic voice asked me to press several numbers before I could get to my messages. When I finally got through I heard Dean's voice.

"_Rox, I know that something's up...with us. I just want to make sure we're cool. You're not answering my calls or my messages. The last time me and Sam came up to the house you just locked yourself in your room and refused to see us. I just want to make sure you're okay. Give me a call back when you can_."

I sighed and deleted the message. I dropped the cell idly onto the tabletop. Zachariah smiled over at me. I fumbled with the rosary. A thought occurred to me, could Castiel feel my thoughts the way that Gabriel could? Did he overhear my little revelation almost a month ago?

_-M-_

I was laid in bed the next night when I heard the car. It rumbled down the dirt track leading up to the house and pulled to a halt just in front of the wooden porch. I knew the sound of that car anywhere. It was the Impala. The doors opened and closed. I pulled myself out of bed because I had to but I didn't like where this was going.

_-M-_

Bobby was greeting them at the door when I appeared at the top of the stairs. I stopped where I was as they spoke briefly.

"Dean, Sam? What are you doing here?" Bobby asked. He glanced at the nearby clock, "it's almost midnight!"

The older one shrugged, "we just wanted to check in that's all. Where's Rox?"

The floor board creaked underneath my bare feet. Three pairs of eyes shot in my direction as the wooden door was shut by Sam. My hair was tumbling down my back in waves and I was wearing a short night dress with a dressing gown over the top.

"She's there," the old man laughed. He looked the two brothers up and down, "you two want some beer?"

Sam nodded eagerly, "oh yeah. Thanks."

Dean didn't answer. He was still looking up at me. I felt myself starting to go red. Finally he tore his eyes away.

"Yeah."

Two of the three men left the small area until it was only me and him. I bit my lower lip and slowly descended the stairs. It was already awkward and we hadn't even spoken.

"Hey," he said to me when I reached the bottom. It struck me just how tall he was. He was clearly several inches taller than my thin frame.

"Hi," it came out almost like a whisper.

I felt Zachariah's presence hanging around at the top of the stairs where I had just been. The human didn't appear to notice him. I looked at those green eyes and they sparkled faintly in the dim lighting. I gulped trying to swallow whatever was making this so difficult.

"Are you okay?" he asked randomly catching me off guard.

I nodded, "I'm fine apart from the obvious. What about you?"

He chuckled for a second or two. He closed his eyes and told me, "the same. Look, did I really say that in the hospital? I mean, I'm not sure if it was a dream or not."

I looked away. This was my chance to just pretend that he had never said anything to me but then how would I explain why I had been avoiding him? That direction wasn't going to work.

"When you woke up?"

He nodded, "yeah. When I said that I started the apocalypse and about running out of ketchup being the best thing that I ever did."

"Yeah, I remember," I looked up again.

He looked down at the floor. His cheeks were slowly going a bright crimson shade that travelled down his neck to his chest.

"I'm sorry," I blurted out walking into the study and he followed me.

"For what?"

I stopped and turned to him almost pleading. I was pleading with him not to make me say it. I didn't want to hurt him. I took a deep breath, "I think you're an awesome guy but-"

He began to nod his head rapidly. He refused to look at me. He started to get redder. He bit his lip, "yeah. Yeah. I just umm I just think that you're just, you know?"

I smiled sweetly, "I'm flattered. Honestly, I am."

"I just, I feel the way I do about you. I know you don't feel the same but that doesn't make me stop feeling like this. Maybe one day it'll happen but if it doesn't then I'm okay with that. I want you to know that I'll always be here for you."

"I don't know what to say," I started sitting down on the sofa. That was when I had overheard Sam and Bobby talking in the kitchen. Dean continued to ramble on so I shushed him and we both listened in.

"Sam, something's going on. We all know that."

"Look, Bobby I appreciate the concern but-"

"But you're going to get yourself killed!"

"Don't shout. I don't want Dean to hear," he sighed. I heard him pacing the room, "you know how I kinda had these psychic powers? Well, they're stronger with demon blood. Ruby's making me strong enough to kill Lilith and put a stop to all this."

"Demon blood?" Bobby sounded horrified.

"I drink it."

"He _drink's_ it?" Dean hissed next to me. Before I knew what was happening he charged into the room.

I pulled myself up off of the sofa and followed him into the kitchen. Anyone could tell that this wasn't going to be good.

When I got there Sam was close to the door leading out into the yard. Bobby was stood next to the refrigerator. There was a disgusted and horrified look on his face. The same expression sat on Dean's face as he advanced on his brother. He was made up of pure anger.

"You're drinking that bitch's blood, Sammy?" he growled lowly, "hell, that's a new low. I had been wondering why you were sneaking off in the middle of the night. Heck, you even did it while I was in the hospital, didn't you? Why? You wanted to ice Lilith all by yourself, didn't you? You may just be playing into her fucking hands!"

There was only a small amount of space separating the two men now. Sam glanced at us confused and worried. Dean peered up at him. He clenched his fists until the knuckles went white. He pulled his arm back and swung forward hitting Sam right in the nose. There was a loud crack. I gasped in surprise and launched forward as he prepared another punch. I held on to his arm and dragged him away from his brother while Bobby supported Sam and sat him down. Blood was gushing from his nose and he tried to staunch it with towels that were nearby.

"Dean!" I yelled as I turned him around. He pursed his lips and walked off to the front of the house. Distantly I heard the Impala's engine start up and the wheels move away.


	54. A Dream Of You

_**Chapter Fifty Four- A Dream Of You**_

_A/N- Thank you so much for all the reviews, alerts and favourites!_

"Oh fuck," i muttered the words seething frustration with every breath. Please tell me that didn't just happen, my thoughts pleaded.

_Sorry sweetness. The cat's outta the bag!_

I rolled my eyes a little at Gabriel's sudden self inclusion into my thoughts and ran a hand through my ragged hair before turning to Sam. He was sat on the chair with Bobby helping him with his nose bleed. I caught a whiff of the blood. It reeked. It smelt as bad as the demons looked. Normally, blood smelt more of iron than anything but not this. This was more of rotten eggs.

"You realise you stink of sulphur, right?"

Disgust was clear in my voice. I didn't attempt to hide it on my face either as both men looked at me. Bobby gave me a steely glare. This was good enough to shut me up for a little while. Sam was ashamed and feeling guilty.

Quite rightly too, I thought.

I sat down at the opposite end of the table. I couldn't help the way my face changed whenever I smelt the blood. Thankfully, Zachariah was staying the hell away from us. It would have been too tempting to attack him with all that had happened tonight. I watched slightly disturbed at how Bobby could just treat him like nothing had happened. He was _helping_ him for Christ's sake!

My lip started to curl at it all. Eventually, I couldn't hold it in anymore. When Bobby had cleaned the younger man up I asked, "Aren't you bothered?"

The older man turned to me. His eyes were wide, "What you mean?"

"He's admitted to drinking Ruby's damn blood! Doesn't that make you feel sick inside? Doesn't it make you want to not be around him?"

Sam looked at me terrified. Tears were starting to bubble in his hazel eyes.

"He's still Sam. He's still our Sammy," he defended the Winchester.

"The thing is he's not," I answered simply. I was looking at Sam when I said those words, "I can smell it. He's not right anymore. I mean, hell, none of us were right to begin with but it's turning you, Sam. You won't be human much longer if you keep doing it."

He looked away from my eyes. He focused all his attention on the bloodied towel in his hand. It was matted with his own blood. I could almost see the cogs working in his head. Part of me wondered if he even knew what he was doing. Or worse, I was beginning to wonder if he liked it.

Bobby threw his eyes angrily to Sam. He watched him for a few seconds, "is she right? Are you turning?"

He ignored us for a few moments choosing to move the towel around in his hands. He stroked the bloodied parts. A few seconds later he threw his head back and started crying. He nodded, "When Azazal took us to that village I felt so strong because of my powers. I felt that I could actually do something. I wanted to avenge Dad. I'd always felt so useless around Dean. He had always been the good hunter. Those powers gave me an edge, I didn't see it until I was brought back."

I regarded him with my eyebrow partially raised. Bobby sat down with us and urged him to carry on.

"When Ruby told me that she could help me get stronger I refused. Dean had just died and it was just wrong. All I wanted to do then was get him back. Then I figured going after Lilith would be the best bet seeing as she was the one who owned his soul. She came to me again saying that if I got strong enough then I could take her down, that I could get Dean back or at least get his soul out of hell..."

He took a deep breath, "When Dean knocked on my motel door I decided that I wanted out there and then. She accepted that. Then we found out that it was Lilith behind the apocalypse and we weren't getting anywhere I changed my mind. I found Ruby and told her I wanted back in. That was a few months back. Since then, I'm strong again. I can exorcise demons. I can even kill them with just a flick of my hand!"

Bobby sat back in his chair. He sighed heavily, "can't you see that this aint right?"

"I know it's not but..."

"But what?" I asked him. I shook my head, "don't you get that this is wrong? You're drinking demon blood, Sam! Whatever plan Azazal had, you might be playing into it."

He looked up to me pitifully. There was a pain in his eyes but he nodded, "I never thought of it like that."

A faint smile broke out onto both mine and Bobby's faces.

"Please, just promise me that you're not gonna do it every again?"

He gave me a teary, hopeful smile. He almost laughed, "Yeah, I promise. I'm not gonna drink any blood. You're right, it's wrong."

"Good!" Bobby exclaimed.

After a few moments of pure relief a heaviness settled on us all again. There were no other sounds in the house. It reminded me of what Dean had done.

"Where's Dean?" Sam asked eerily.

I watched him peculiarly. I wondered whether all that demon blood had made him a little receptive to other people's thoughts. I gulped, "ugh. I heard the Impala start up. He's probably gone to drown himself in a keg of beer and a cheap whore."

"Shit," he placed his head in his hands and ran them through his hair. He stood up and the rest of us rose with him, "I've gotta go find him."

"Hell no!" Bobby roared angrily and stood in front of the young man.

"He's my brother, I have to explain everything!"

"Goin' to find him and explaining to him when he's in that mood isn't going to sort anything, kid. He needs to calm down and so do you."

"Stay here for the night," I suggested gesturing upstairs with my hand, "there're enough rooms and he's gotta come back at some point."

I didn't suggest why he'd have to come back. I knew he'd come back within the next couple of days because of me. It sounded big-headed but it was true. If Zachariah was right about how deep his feelings for me ran then he wouldn't be able to be gone for more than three days. He just had to cool off, that's all.

"You sure he'll come back?"

"Of course. You're his brother after all."

Luckily, he believed me and agreed to stay with us for a while. He stalked off upstairs after grabbing a beer. I heard the shower running and glanced warily at Bobby who had a cell phone pressed to his ear.

He hissed, "Dean, answer the damn phone! You idjit, get back 'ere!"

He threw his cell onto the sideboard and paced the side of the kitchen. Frustration was clear on his face but underneath that there was a deep worry for both of the boys that were almost his own.

"He not answering?" I enquired while knocking back a cool bottle of beer.

Bobby shook his head.

_-M-_

Hours later I was laid in my bed asleep. I tossed and turned as nightmares plagued me yet again. I never got a decent night's sleep anymore. But my need for sleep was being to disappear. I could run on less than four hours sleep for a couple of days. I had the occasional catnap during these times to stop myself getting irrational and snappy. I had begun to dread falling asleep now. Oddly, my nightmare changed. It became calm and I settled.

_-M-_

There was a table in front of me. I was resting on a red, leather seat. My eyes travelled around the room that I was in. I realised that I was sitting in a booth inside an empty dinner. The place was set up ready for opening time. A calm feeling suddenly washed over me when I saw the old style jukebox in the corner. I knew then where I was. I was at Jay's Dinner back in Charlestown. I was _home_.

A figure moved directly in front of me. My eyes darted to the sign of movement. There was a person sitting opposite me in the booth. I sat back and stared wide eyed at him. I couldn't believe it.

"Cas?" I asked awkwardly. It looked like him but he appeared stressed, worried and relieved all at the same time. His eyes were cast downwards. The rosary around my neck hummed happily. I wondered, "Is it really you?"

He nodded and met my gaze. He sighed and looked out of the window showing only a barren, dead street, "you are dreaming but it is me. I never told you that angels could access dreams."

"Huh," I glanced around again his nervousness rubbing off onto me, "so other angels could possibly see this?"

"Yes."

"What's wrong?"

"I was correct about Uriel. He had been killing my brothers and sisters in the garrison. I had no choice than to kill him."

I reached across the table and grabbed his hand. It was cold. He could only look at it as he continued his tale.

"I also believe that God is not in Heaven. The angels have something planned. Something that should never happen, do you understand me? I cannot discuss it in case anyone is listening but you must be on your guard. You must discover as much information about their plan from Zachariah as you can."

"It's coming, isn't it?" I asked. My mouth was starting to go dry, "is he going to rise?"

He looked at me pitifully with those blue eyes. I caught the light dancing underneath them. The essence was stronger than it had been before in him or it seemed that way at the very least.

"I pray that he does not."

My face fell, "oh God."

Tears pricked at his eyes and he placed his other hand on top of mine and squeezed hard.

"Can you find Dean? Please, tell him what you've told me. It'll make him come back."

His grip loosened by a margin and he couldn't look at me. He nodded nonetheless agreeing to do as I had asked him.

Suddenly, something prickled at my ears drums. There was a faint buzzing getting louder and louder.

He heard it too, "I have to go. Remember what I have said. Please, stay safe."

The dream faded around me going grey and dull.

_-M-_

I woke with a start. I took a deep breath feeling instantly awake when the air rushed in and filled my lungs to their full capacity. The air shuddered as it left my body. I was staring up at the white ceiling in my dark bedroom. The curtains were moving slightly by a breeze allowed in by the open window.

"Having nightmares again?"

I sat up perplexed and glanced at the corner in distaste. Zachariah was sat on the chair reading through another newspaper. He threw me a curious look and went back to reading a couple of articles. The room was so dark there weren't even any shadows. No light was creeping underneath the door from the corridor outside. Everyone was in bed.

"What time is it?" I asked him.

He rolled his eyes at this disruption, "4:04 am. Why?"

I ignored his question and countered it with my own, "how many seals are left?"

"Five although it's none of your concern."

"What happens when he rises?"

"You'll have to choose I suppose. Beyond that, I have no idea."

"I don't mean that," I shook my head to reaffirm it. I chewed my lip, "I mean, will everyone die? Will it be how it's said in the bible?"

"They'll be a war and a final battle. Then paradise on Earth."

"Do you want him to rise?" I asked lightly. He glared angrily at me so i tacked something on, "for the paradise at the end."

"It is none of your concern."

I kicked the covers off and got dressed.

_-M-_

Within an hour I had woken up the two men and we were waiting patiently in the kitchen. Bobby had decided to cook us breakfast at five in morning. The sun was starting to grace the horizon and it slowly began to light up the yard.

"So why are we up again?" Sam asked while rubbing his eyes.

I paced down one side of the kitchen, "because Dean's going to come back."

"He can let himself in. Why do we have to be awake?" Bobby threw over his shoulder.

"Trust me. It'll be soon."

"How do you know?"

"I just do. Accept it." I growled at them and made myself a cup of strong, black coffee.

Bobby began to dish the eggs, sausages and bacon out onto plates. I turned away from the counter and felt odd. Black spots started dancing in front of my eyes. I couldn't focus on anything. I blinked to try and clear them. I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I couldn't seem to control or move my own body anymore.

The next moment it felt like someone was ramming a red hot poked right through the centre of my body and through my heart. The rosary was burning my skin. I screamed in agony and fell to the floor in a heap. I wretched forward as it felt as if I was being pulled out of my own body. Whatever it was took the red hot pain with it.

I felt burning hot hands on my bare skin and distant, echoing voices asking what was going on. I gasped for air and my eyes snapped open. I felt so cold. All the heat was taken away from me. There was a painful burn on my chest where the rosary had been in contact with my skin. I realised with a pang that the rosary was almost dead. There was barely a faint sliver of life coming from it.

I choked on my own tears and sobs, "Cas!"

"Rox, what's happened?" Bobby and Sam asked me at once.

A figure appeared in the door way and ran towards me. Dean cupped my face with his hands. His own face was only showing fear and worry as he glanced at his brother and father figure.

"What happened?"

"It's Cas! He's gone!" I cried.


	55. Base Camp

_**Chapter Fifty Five- Base Camp**_

_A/N- Sorry for the late update. It's been hectic over here. I've been trying to juggle coursework, my new job and writing while still trying to have time to eat, breath and sleep. It's hard work haha. Just to clarify that it's now The Rapture. Enjoy!_

"He's gone," I muttered refusing to look into Dean's piercing eyes. Things appeared dimmer than before and I felt so cold. His hands were beginning to burn me. I flinched attempting to get away but he held firm.

"What do you mean '_he's gone_'?" he asked me. I glanced back at him warily, his face was hard and he didn't give me a friendly nudge like he usually would.

I tried to shrug, "I don't know..."

He continued to stare at me and I squirmed underneath his eyes. I felt so alone.

"I can't feel him," I expected myself to start sobbing at any minute but I couldn't. I was just empty now. I droned on, "He's not here."

He shook me, "that can't be right. Feel for him. You have too."

I did as I was told and closed my eyes. I calmed myself. I could feel the presence of Zachariah upstairs and demons hovering around about a mile away. I tried to use the rosary. There were now two faint vibes coming from it. I wasn't even sure if one of them was real. It could have been imagined. I focused in on the stronger presence.

_-M-_

I was stood in a warehouse of some sort. The place was a wreck. The ceiling panels had fallen down and were lying haphazard on the floor. Girders and metal pipes were hanging out of the walls blocking ways out of the building. Naked wires sparked dangerously nearby as they hung down from electric lights. Bricks and debris continued to fall. It created a dusty atmosphere making it hard to breathe and see properly.

The presence was like a heart beat in my ear. The pulse was weak and faint but still there. They were nearby. I wandered amongst the mess silently hardly breathing as I listened intently for the pulse. I caught what direction it was coming from and approached warily. The pulse could be coming from almost anything if it had access to the blood of Castiel's vessel. My footsteps echoed within the great space.

Sparks flew above my head and I distantly heard someone calling out my name. I glanced behind confused. There was no one there. I took a few more careful steps. The source was nearby, the pulse was louder now.

I glanced up and saw blood smeared on a wall. It formed a sigil. Images flashed in front of my eyes, it was something I'd seen in the tomes back at Bobby's and when we'd called the angels to make a deal. I became anxious, that was a mark to ward off angels. My eyes travelled downwards and I saw the source.

It was a man lying flat on his back. He was bloodied and bruised. His hair was black and his skin was naturally tanned. The clothes he wore were eerily familiar. The beige trench coat and suit was also stained with blood. It was Castiel.

No, it wasn't.

It was his vessel. Castiel wasn't anywhere near this body.

"Rox!"

I turned on my heel at the sudden interruption of the voice. I couldn't see anyone. I turned back to the man and I glanced at the area. Whatever had happened here was bad. The poor guy was still alive and maybe he could shed some light on what happened. Something niggled at my gut. Demons were on the prowl.

"Roxanne!"

I ignored the voice and looked for any sign of where I was. I scrambled around. There had to be a label or something. I found an invoice sheet underneath some rubble and dug hard at it with my nails. I pulled it out and read the address.

I memorised it, "354 Greenacre Industrial Estate, Brookings, South Dakota."

"Roxanne, damnit!"

_-M-_

Dean was shaking me. My eyes focused in on his face. I was back in Bobby's kitchen. I glanced around, there was no sign of any blood or demons.

"Roxanne, answer me!" he growled.

I took a deep, shuddering breath and glanced back at him, "Answer what?"

Relief flooded in his eyes and he lightened up.

"What the hell was that?" Sam asked. I'd almost forgotten that he and Bobby were still in the same room.

I raised my hand to my head, "What?"

"You went into a trance or something," Bobby told me equally if not more relieved than Dean. He carried on, "we were talkin' to ya but you just weren't hearin' us."

Silence filled the air for a few moments so I told them briefly at what I had seen.

"It was an out of body experience, but it was like I was really there," I concluded with a sigh, "So Cas' vessel is at this warehouse in Brookings. Chances are he has some idea at what happened."

"So we just have to go over and pick him up?" Dean wondered.

"Better do it quick," my voice became worried, "demons were hanging around when I got pulled out of there."

"C'mon Sammy, let's hit the road," the older brother stood and advanced out of the kitchen to the front of the house.

Sam called after him, "Don't you think you better go with Bobby or something because of...?"

"No, let's pick this guy up, find out what happened to Cas and then talk about it."

_-M-_

When the boy's had been gone an hour or two I was in the bathroom. I was clutching onto the sink and watching myself in the mirror. My skin had gone blotchy and pale. I was starting to shake again and feel weak. Everything felt so cold. It was like when Castiel had been pulled from that body, all of the heat had been taken from mine. No, it wasn't _like_ that. It was that. That must've happened somehow.

I washed my face feeling hopeless and lost. The angels had been right when they'd said we were too attached to each other. I wondered if he was going through the same thing, wherever he was.

As if he was almost on cue I saw Gabriel behind me in the mirror. I screwed my eyes shut hoping that he wasn't really in the room while I was just in my bra and panties.

"Sorry hot stuff, I'm really here," he joked, "By the way I really do mean hot stuff."

"Why are you here?" I opened my eyes and watched him through the reflection.

He shrugged letting his eyes wander, "checking in, that's all. It's a shame we technically share blood because those panties are looking mighty-"

"Stop," The word carried a force to it and the archangel clammed right up. He didn't say another word until I had finished speaking and his eyes never wandered anywhere, "what happened to Cas?"

"Shouldn't you be more concerned with what's happening to you?" he asked me, "Which is actually the reason I decided to stop by."

"What's happened to both of us is linked somehow, I don't know the ins and outs but it has to be through the blood bond. He was ripped from his vessel, why?"

"Maybe it's just your general attachment that's made you go all sickly. I thought that was pretty obvious, he pissed off some of the big boys!"

"Who?"

He shrugged, "I don't know. Did he try to break the contract in any way or does he know something he shouldn't?"

I paled even more so that I was as white as a blank sheet of paper. He'd had doubts and been thinking for himself. He's said something about the apocalypse starting. On top of all that, he'd still been trying to see me.

"I thought as much," he coined in a hard voice. He carried on, "If the worst happens then you'll adjust, in time. You'll go back to normal-ish. And before you even think it no, I'm not going to help get him back."

"Where is he?" I asked weakly. I felt as if I was going to cry. My entire world was going to collapse in on itself all over again, "where is he now?"

"He's been hauled back to base camp," and with that Gabriel vanished.

He was in Heaven then. At least that explained why I had trouble feeling him. But what had he meant by the words '_if the worst happens then you'll adjust_'?

_-M-_

Bobby's cell began to buzz loudly on the table. His ringtone was hurting my ears. I pulled a face and turned away choosing to sip on my beer instead. Zachariah appeared and gave me a thin, knowing smile.

"You've looked better," he commented sideways.

I ignored him and listened in on the other conversation.

"_She was right, Cas is not in this guy anymore_."

"Well done, idjits," Bobby whispered, "now get back here. She isn't looking so good. The quicker we get him back the better."

He didn't know that I could hear him. Tears pricked at my eyes, everything was making me emotional for some reason. It was like my hormones had shot through the ceiling.

"_We can't take this guy back to yours, Zach's there. What'll he do if he sees him?_"

"We'll sort him out, trust me."

"_Okay, see you in half an hour_."

The two men hung up without another word to each other. Bobby almost crashed down into his chair opposite me. He sipped slowly at his own beer. Sam had been the one calling for a change.

"What was that about sorting me out?" Zachariah chided.

"Don't know what you're talkin' about."

"Do not lie to me, Singer."

A tingling sensation caught me across the arm. Suddenly Anna was stood next to him. She looked flustered, pissed and not at all in a talking mood. Zachariah didn't seem to notice her presence until it was too late.

"It's not him you have to worry about," she commented darkly before touching him on the shoulder.

He vanished with a flash of light. She gave us a tight smile afterwards before disappearing herself.

"What the hell?" I managed to choke out.

"How long do you think he'll be gone for?" Bobby asked me.

I shrugged, "hopefully not until we get Cas back."

Just as the words left my mouth I heard the Impala pull up outside the front of the house. The engine cut and three doors opened and closed. I stood automatically and walked through the study into the hallway. I got there just as the door creaked open and in walked Dean Winchester.

Bobby appeared behind me and we watched as two Winchesters came in along with a third man. Sure, to a human it looked like Castiel but it wasn't. This guy was just human. His eyes were downcast and his stance was slightly hunched at the shoulders.

"Bobby, Rox...meet Jimmy Novak." Dean told us.

The man's eyes shot up and looked at both of us.

First he looked at Bobby and took him in, "Hi."

Then he looked over at me. He stared at me a while longer. His blue eyes met mine but they didn't sparkle like Castiel's did, "hey..."

I nodded my head slightly, "hi."

We all stood there awkwardly for a few moments.

It wasn't long before Jimmy asked, "Can I get something to eat? I'm starving."

Bobby took him off and showed him to the kitchen where he fixed him some food. Sam followed. I sat at the base of the stairs and ran my hands through my hair.

"What's up?" Dean asked as he sat next to me.

I shook my head. Everything had hit me then, "All the time I've been near Cas or spoke to him or thought about him I just never realised that there was really another guy inside there. It's hard to look at him, it's like Cas was never even in there."

He rubbed at my shoulder tenderly and nodded. He didn't offer any words of comfort because there were none to give.


	56. Blanket

_**Chapter Fifty Six-Blanket**_

_A/N- Okay, so some self pimping time here. I've done several one shots, 'Aphrodite's Desire', 'Balthazar's New Book', 'Shiny Things' and a college!Sam/OC fic called 'Lights and Locks'. I've also started writing some Vampire Diaries stuff that I've had planned for a while. An Alaric/OC fic called 'Our Unforeseen Reunion' and a series of Damon drabbles 'Through The Crow's Eye'. I'm just saying in case anyone's interested, no? Let's get on with the fic then ^.^_

I stood abruptly when I felt Dean begin to lean in. I just couldn't deal with that at the moment, I needed a friend. I needed someone who was going to tell me it's all right but didn't want anything more. I don't think that Dean was even aware that he was doing it.

"Did you know that Anna got rid of Zachariah?" I changed the subject as he too stood.

He gave me a bizarre look, "Nope. That's odd."

"Hmm," I nibbled at my lower lip as we walked slowly through the study.

"You were right about the demons. They were skittish though. I think they expected angels to swoop down and gank them any second," he filled me in.

"Huh, I can't blame them."

We reached the kitchen to find Sam watching Jimmy with shock written clearly all over his face. The man had shed the trench coat and sat in the dark suit at the table. Before him there was a plate full of food and a full glass. Or at least they were full before I watched Bobby busily plate up some more bacon and eggs. When I looked back the plate and glass was empty.

"Damn," I whispered.

"You got that right," Dean commented next to me as he went and sat down at the table along with his brother and the vessel.

I continued to watch him perplexed as he ate and drank. It was a while before he noticed my presence and he stopped almost immediately. He just kept sending me worried glances. The world was still cold to me and I had to lean against the doorpost to stop myself toppling over.

"What?" my voice sounded harsher than I expected.

His blue eyes widened and he looked all too much like a rabbit caught in a pair of headlights that were speeding towards it. He finished what he was eating and answered, "it's just weird, to see you. Like me see you, not Castiel see you and I get the filtered down version."

"Huh," I mumbled and came to sit down at the table with them. I commented at how much he was eating, "when, exactly, was the last time you ate?"

He shrugged while he gulped down the rest of the glass and placed it down on the hardwood of the table. He pursed his lips, "about a year I guess."

"A year!" Dean moaned, "don't angels eat?"

"Apparently not, Idjit," Bobby glared over his shoulder as he fried some more bacon.

"Do you remember anything at all?" Sam cut in.

Jimmy shook his head then looked at me, "all I remember is Rox. You're all he thinks about or at least the only thing that I have any idea about."

I gulped and chose to ignore the fact that Jimmy had told me. I had to focus in on what had happened, "What is the exact last thing you remember? Please Jimmy, please try."

He sat back and thought for a moment. He smacked his lips and chewed on them. "The last thing I remember?"

We all nodded.

"Okay then. The last thing I really remember is being at my table with my family saying grace. Then that night I was watching T.V when it crackled and then I heard this voice. It told me to do all these things to prove my faith and the next thing I know, Amelia thinks I'm crazy and threatens to take Claire away until I get better. I lost it and told Castiel to just do whatever he had to do. Then it's like a dream and now I'm here with you guys."

Silence descended upon the room when he stopped talking. No one had anything to stay to that. We were all dumbstruck. I have never thought of the man whose body Castiel wore. It never occurred to me that he might have a family and that they may be missing him right this moment.

Sam broke the silence, "is there anything that sticks out from when Cas was inside you?"

The man shook his head, "Nope. The only thing that I can say is it felt like being tied to a comet. You forget things pretty soon when you're been dragged to the other side of the planet."

I grimaced and avoided his eyes. I couldn't help but feel guilty. Castiel had gone to Siberia when he saved me. I knew that it wasn't the first time it had happened but it still didn't make anything easier on Jimmy.

"Is Claire your kid?" Dean asked with a pout.

Jimmy nodded, "Yeah, Amelia's my wife. It's weird to think that a guy who sells Ad space is a vessel, huh?"

I felt his eyes on me and I stared up. My eyes were wide and I gave a mere half shrug, "weirder things have happened, I guess."

"Like the blood bond," he murmured half-heartedly.

My eyes narrowed, "you remember the blood bond?"

"Sure."

Sam turned to me then, "of course he would. His blood was the medium that you and Cas were bonded by. In a way, you're bonded to him too."

"Hmm," I sighed. It made sense and I remembered Ruby saying something similar while we were trying to wake Castiel up from his coma. "That's probably how I knew where he was too."

Bobby turned the cooker off and turned in his apron. "Aren't you boys gonna do something about Cas? Ya've been sat here chit-chattin' too damn long."

Sam and Dean looked at their father figure before turning to each other. Bobby was known for only being comfortable with certain people in his house. Jimmy, being Castiel's vessel, posed a threat to me. If he was caught here then there was a chance that the angels would call off the deal and I would die. So, he was a little sceptical of the guy.

Jimmy noticed the brothers' looks and wiped his mouth, "thanks for helping me but I think I should get back to my family now."

He stood and so did the two men. They were taller than him and blocked his path to the door. Jimmy's mouth flapped for a moment before he tried to force his way through.

Sam stopped him, "do you think that's a good idea?"

"Of course, it's my family. They probably think I'm dead!"

"Don't you get it? You're an angel's vessel and demons were about to be crawling all over you when we got there!" Dean exclaimed.

"I never saw any demons." He pouted.

"They were there, Jimmy." I told him quietly. He turned and faced me. I carried on, "I felt them. They were around, outside the warehouse, but they were hesitating. I suppose they expected more angels to show up for some reason."

"And you know that they were probably wanting to see what makes you tick and why the hell you can hold an angel inside you without spontaneously combusting," the older Winchester told him as he folded his arms across his chest.

"They're not above harming your family either," Sam told him and mimicked the posture of his older brother.

"So what are you saying? That I'm a prisoner here?" he gasped.

Bobby sighed angrily as he chucked his apron in the washing machine. He walked out of the kitchen and down into the basement to do research or work on one of his guns. I pouted and watched him go.

"I wouldn't say prisoner." I gave him an apologetic smile, "think of it as more of witness protection or a safe house."

"So when can I leave?" he roared angrily.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

-_M-_

Hours later I was wandering up and down the corridor. I wasn't able to sleep for some reason. Everyone else was fast asleep in their beds while I wandered in the dark thinking of something to do. I peeked through the doorway leading to the spare room and saw that Jimmy was sleeping soundly on his side. The brother's had been forced to share a room while we really figured out what to do with the guy. My feet took me downstairs and I began to read one of the old tomes.

Slowly, my eyelids began to droop and I curled up on the sofa using my hand as a cushion. I could have sworn that I heard people moving around upstairs as my lids fluttered and I finally fell to sleep.

-_M_-

My dreamless sleep was disturbed by a shaking. My eyes flew open automatically and I saw Dean's face only inches away from mine. My nose wrinkled and I couldn't help but glare at him.

"What?"

He asked me, "Have you seen Jimmy?"

"What the hell, no! Get off me, I'm awake, okay?" he finally let go of me and I was able to sit up. I was still in my jeans and shirt. Wrapped around me was a blanket that I couldn't remember covering myself up with it. "What's happened?"

"Jimmy's gone," Bobby scoffed. He jutted his thumb to Dean and then to Sam, "these two idjit's didn't keep an eye on him."

"You're kidding me," I murmured with my head in my hands. Sometimes things were just too bad to think about around here. "Are any of the cars missing?"

"Just one," Sam told me. "it was the only one out back that actually moved."

"Let's go find him then, he couldn't have gotten far, right?"

"You're not going anywhere, girl," Bobby told me, "I don't wanna hear any arguments. If Zachariah comes back and finds you gone, what's he gonna think?"

I grumbled miserably, "it doesn't matter what he thinks. We have to find Jimmy before the demons do!"

"Sorry, Rox, but I think he's right," Dean gave me a pitiful glance. He gave me a bittersweet smile, "but you can still search for him and tell us where he's heading, yeah? Call us when you know."

"We're gonna go now." Sam muttered.

"How do you know you're even going to end up going in the right direction if you leave before I look for him?"

"Jimmy told me that his family was in Pontiac, Illinois. So we're heading there," he gave me a quick glance. There was something wrong with him. The smell had gotten stronger, somehow. I let it slide though, we had more important things to think about.

"See you in a few days." They left us and Bobby and I were left to ourselves.


	57. Humanity

_**Chapter Fifty Seven- Humanity**_

_**A/N- Sorry about the lack of action guys. Life's just been a bit hectic at the minute. But here's the next update, I hope you enjoy it. **_

The house was quiet without the brothers, eerily quiet in fact. It had only been twelve hours since they had left.

It didn't cross my mind that it had always been quiet enough to hear a pin drop to the floor and that I had only realised that the silence stretched the minutes and hours because I felt so cold and so alone inside. The rosary was just a dead lump of wood hanging down from my neck. The little heat that continued to radiate out from it could have been my own heat being thrown back at me. I just couldn't trust it.

Castiel was gone and Jimmy Novak could have been dead for all I knew.

I shivered visibly and the goose pimples reappeared on my skin. Even though I was covered from head to toe in thick, warm materials I was still so damn cold. I could feel every molecule of gas that made up the air bounce against my skin and they stung like tiny daggers of ice.

A noise from behind awakened me from my sleepy stupor. My eyes blinked as a reflex and they became wet with small, involuntary tears. They disappeared as I focused in on the scene before me.

Rain was pitting itself against the window pane. The water dripped down the glass causing the world behind it to become distorted and broken.

The noise sounded again. My back straightened and I pulled away from the kitchen counter that I had been leaning on. The small bones in my spine cracked and my body shuddered as I turned to face whoever had made the noise.

The small rational voice in my head that was almost inaudible compared to the ones that wanted to run and scream and bawl my eyes out told me that the noises were obviously footsteps and that they could only belong to Bobby.

The salt line was still intact and the angels, Zachariah in particular, shouldn't have been able to bother us for at least a few more days. I guess Anna was useful but I couldn't help but question her motives.

"Girl, you look like death," a gruff man's voice told me with a disappointed grumble.

My eyes met Bobby's and I have him a half hearted shrug. He was stood looking at me with his arms hanging loose down by his sides. He hovered between the door posts. I guessed that my appearance had shocked him enough to make him stand still. I must have looked like an emotional train wreck. My entire body was shaking, my clothes appeared too big for me as they hung off of my bones like rags and my eyes had shrunk back into my skull.

I was beyond crying, there was just a dark well of despair growing inside me and I didn't know how deep it would end up being. Castiel's absence had affected me much deeper than I would have ever thought possible. There was a fear within me of whether I would ever see him again. I wondered whether he would be forced to fall. Would it be because of me?

"Thanks." I managed to force the word out of my mouth. I forced myself away from those horrible thoughts for a moment. I just didn't feel like talking to anyone. It was too much of an effort. I sounded lethargic and hopeless even to my own ears so God only knew what I sounded like to him.

He stepped into the kitchen proper. His brow was creased and his eyes were narrowed in contemplation as he approached the wooden table in the centre of the room. His hazel eyes didn't shift from my face. If my body had been acting normally then I would have gone red under his gaze but it wasn't so I merely lowered my head. The floor was suddenly very interesting.

"You're gettin' worse, aren't you?"

My teeth began to chatter and my hands started to shake as if to prove his point. I grasped at the counter just so that I would stop shaking. Whatever Gabriel had been doing to keep me safe from these effects, he sure as hell wasn't doing it now. Maybe there was just too much for him to keep at bay? Or maybe something bad had happened to him?

"Damnit," Bobby cursed as he took my silence as a 'yes' to his question and began to pace up and down one side of the room. I kept my eyes away from his. "How bad is it?"

I shrugged. There was no way of knowing how bad it was compared to how bad it was going to get but deep down, I knew that it was pretty damn serious. Everything just felt so different to me. The world was colder, harsher, than it had ever been before. I was almost drained of all emotion and only left with a thin skeleton of logic and fear. I closed my eyes and tried to pray but my faith was slowly ebbing away.

I asked for someone to tell me what was happening and whether there was anything that I could do to help myself.

The answer was a desperate silence.

That was until a strained voice whispered in my ear, _your humanity's disappearing kiddo. My lil bro' was somehow maintaining it and now that he's gone it's just fading. Soon you'll have nothing but cold logic and power. There's nothing you can do apart from hope, I can barely get through to you like it is. Your power's in overdrive, Roxy, it's not a good thing._

My eyes opened as the voice spoke its last word. I bit at my lip. Gabriel hadn't abandoned me then and he wasn't dead. I was just turning into a cold, heartless sonofabitch. It must have been a part of Azazal's grand plan. Even if everything would go against him then he knew that in the end my body would betray my mind and I would be the perfect weapon.

"It's bad." I muttered darkly still staring at the floor.

There was a deafening crack behind me and I felt glass shower over me. It tore at my skin in tiny cuts that bled crimson while I staggered away from the area. The wind and rain was being forced into the room. The gentle rainfall had turned into a hurricane status worthy storm in only a few short moments.

My eyes widened as I turned to find that a tree branch had been thrust through the glass and was no resting in the sink. I felt Bobby's hands clutch at my shoulders and shuffle me backwards into the study. The house was being attacked by anything and everything that could have been picked up in the wind. The debris cracked and smacked against the brick, glass and wood of the building.

We stumbled into the room. Our eyes didn't stop moving. We were always checking something, the door, the windows, the salt line and weapons. Was there anything that could be used as a weapon?

Bobby looked over to me. My shivers had subsided for the time being, I suspected that they were calmed by the amount of adrenaline running through my system. He pursed his lips and I saw that he was ready to dash into the basement for shotguns and rock salt. There was only one type of creature who would dare do this.

"Don't," I told him with a backwards glance, "we'll get trapped down there."

He snarled silently. The sounds of the storm continued to escalate and if I focused I could feel just how many demons were outside controlling the weather. They were all powerful and there must have been close to thirty of them.

"What we supposed to do then? Just sit 'ere and wait for them?"

I sighed. I didn't know what we could do. There wasn't actually a lot that we could have done. I threw another look into the kitchen. The wind and rain continued to pour in and I noticed the thick white line of salt on the window sill starting to dissolve.

"They're breaking the salt line." I told him. My voice was even, analytical and unfeeling. There was barely any form of fear eating away at me anymore. I felt empty inside. I had to _hope_, he'd said. My eyes stayed fixed on that window and I saw a dark figure moving swiftly inside. It crawled over the broken glass and branch before settling on the floor. It slowly changed into the figure of a young man. He looked like a college student.

A memory stirred within me. There was a woman leering at me in the dark as she held me steady in her arms. I was struggling and then I heard someone else laugh. It was a man. A name came to me; Gregory.

He straightened himself in his suit before looking up and meeting my stare. He flashed me a dashing smile with yellowed teeth.

"Roxanne, it's been a long time, hasn't it?"

Behind him there were more of the black figures creeping through the broken window and into the room. Gregory took a few steps towards the door and I just kept staring. I wasn't afraid. It should've worried me but it didn't.

"Girl, move!" I heard Bobby yell behind me.

Yet I still didn't move. My chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm and the demon took another two steps towards the door. There were three other demons in the room with him now and more were pouring in through the only hole in the house's defences.

Gregory took three more steps. He was almost at the door. My eyes turned from him and towards the door. Everything became fuzzy but I kept staring at the door. When he reached it there was a loud bang as the wood slammed itself home. There was scratching on the other side as I felt the old man's hands grasp my arm.

I turned away and looked up at him. He was pale and terrified but he didn't speak as he led me down into the basement. We hurriedly climbed down the stairs into the dark. Our hands fumbled and searched for shells, salt, iron rounds, shot guns and old revolvers.

There was a splintering of wood upstairs and I felt the hellspawn move through the house slowly. They were taunting us. They were trying to make us unsure of what they were doing so we'd give ourselves away.

Bobby was laden with ammunition and weapons when the door at the top of the stairs flew open. There was a cackling laugh that cut through the darkness. I grabbed anything that I could before throwing a glance at Bobby. He motioned towards the panic room behind us.

It was probably about thirty feet away and demons could move a hell of a lot faster than humans when they wanted to. We began to stealthily back away from the stairs and towards the iron room. The demon's footsteps echoed down the wooden staircase and he taunted us with menacing words.

"There's no use hiding in the dark, you know. I'm going to find you and do you know what I'm going to do?"

He was halfway down the stairs and we had another twenty three feet to go. We allowed ourselves to pick up the pace, it was a matter of survival and I felt the twinges of fear attack my heart. Maybe it just took a life and death situation to keep my humanity?

I suppressed a scoff. We only had another fifteen feet to go.

"I'll tell you then. I'm going to cut and skin Robert Singer before your eyes then I'm going to do something that would make even Alistair squirm. I'll not give away the surprise, I want to see the look on your face when you find out what it is."

_It's just another seven feet._

Bobby had hit the door before me and silently began to loosen it. It was hard work and I tried to keep my feet as quiet as possible as I closed the difference between us.

_Five more steps._

"Casey was always soft on you, Roxanne. You're not going to get that with me, sweetheart. I'm going to make your life hell."

I heard the door swing open and it bumped against my back. I dodged around and dived inside. I dumped my gear on the floor and turned ready to close the iron clad door.

There was the smooth, chiselled face of Gregory looking back at me. The vessel was a handsome man but it was corrupted by the vile creature it was being possessed by.

I gasped in meek surprise as I grasped onto the door.

"I'll be waiting, honey."

I yanked the iron door towards me and shut out the rest of the world for a little while.


	58. Escape

**Chapter Fifty Eight- Escape**

_A/N- Sorry about this being so late. Hope you all enjoy it!_

I could hear them, _feel_ them.

It wasn't a nice feeling. It was never a nice feeling. I knew this much.

It felt like they were crawling all over me. Wait, not all over me, _inside_ me. I could feel them lurking inside my cells. Sometimes I wanted to scratch my skin so hard that I bled. I wanted to get to the creatures. They needed to be caught and pulled from my body. They needed to be destroyed.

Then they were on the outside as well. They were all around me. I couldn't cope with the feeling. I couldn't move and they leered down at me. Saliva dripping from there yellowed fangs onto my face. It burnt when it made contact with my skin. I screamed and thrashed backwards on the bed. I wanted to get away.

I wanted to hurt them. But I couldn't, something was stopping me; an oath. A promise I had made to myself but I couldn't remember it exactly. I needed to remember.

_-M-_

"Rox! Roxanne, come on, girl. Just wake up." A voice whispered lightly in my ear. It was worried, terrified and lacking determination.

My eyes flickered open and I winced at the level of light in the room. After a few moments I noted that I was staring up at the fanned ceiling and it wasn't bright at all. The power had been cut off because the lights weren't working. The only light in the room was coming from several gas lanterns hanging on iron hooks protruding from the walls. The flames flickered behind the smoky glass and cast long, dark shadows into the round room.

There was a light hand on my shoulder. It was more distant than it should've been. They were hesitating. But I could still feel them. Even through the fabric of my shirt I could feel the blood pumping through the flesh and the heat given off left a small scold there. My eyes drifted away from the fan high above me and over to the man knelt next to the bed that I was lying on. Bobby's warm eyes greeted me. I saw relief wash over him almost instantly.

"What's the matter?" I asked. My voice crackled a little before settling into its usual tone. My mind was blank. Why was I in the panic room?

He looked astounded. His beard twitched lightly as he mulled over his reply. "You mean in general or just recently?"

"Bobby, what are you talking about?" There was only one thing that I could remember clearly at that moment and that was the dream where I believed there were creatures inside me that I wanted to dig at and kill. Fuzzy images swam in front of my mind's eye for a second, instinctively I knew that there was more but I just couldn't access it. I was still half asleep.

He turned away from me and walked over to the door. He watched it for a few moments before sighing. "You were havin' a nightmare, I thought the demons had gotten in your head."

"Demons?" I wanted to laugh, I wanted to scoff at the word but it caught in my throat. Things came back to me instantly. Everything came back to me. There were demons, angels, hunters, reapers and above all; Castiel. With his name came a crushing blow that crippled me from within. The horror threatened to overwhelm me. "We're trapped, right?"

He nodded solemnly. The old man's eyes wandered to the desk. There was an array of weapons and ammunition spread out. Each was clean, loaded and the safety catches were undone. He'd been preparing for war while I'd slept.

There was movement outside. They were conversing with each other. I could hear their laughs as clearly as I would if I were stood next to them. They were planning on how they'd get in or what would happen when we needed to come out. They were right; we couldn't stay in here forever.

"We can't stay in here forever," I muttered staring at the iron door that was the only thing besides a devil's trap that was holding the demons back.

Bobby shrugged and paused in his movement. He glanced up at me from underneath his baseball cap. I didn't like the look in his eyes. Later, I'd realise that it reminded me of a wounded tiger ready to make his last stand. "Rox, you promise to do what I tell you?"

"What are you talking about?" I watched him carefully while sitting up.

"I need you to do what I say and not to question or argue."

"Bobby, you're scaring me."

"We're not gonna get outta here, girl. I know that, you know that and they damn well know it too. You need to make a break for it and get to the boys. Don't say anything. I'll distract them, take as many of 'em down as I can but you can't come back for me, you understand?"

I nodded silently. There was nothing that I could say to change his mind. I was being forced to say goodbye to the man who had become my father and protected me from so many evils at his own cost. He didn't deserve to die like this. He picked up a handgun and a shotgun. He checked that they were stocked full with ammo and threw them over to me along with several rounds of ammunition.

"There has to be another way..."' I started aloud and shuddered as I felt Gabriel's reply miss me completely. It felt like I was in a glass box and his words were scratching to get in. Quietly, I whispered, "I guess I'm on my own then."

So even Gabriel, the one who'd been around from the start of all this, couldn't do a thing. He tried to help but he couldn't get anywhere near me.

Bobby had ignored my words. He gathered and laid out the guns in a specific order. The demons wouldn't be able to get in here but he'd have to leave in order for them to go after him, wouldn't he? Otherwise I wouldn't be able to make a break for it.

"When I tell ya to run, you run. Got it?"

I nodded like an obedient child. Part of me didn't want to believe this was going to happen while another part wanted it. I wanted a battle. I wanted blood. And that terrified the shit out of me.

He approached the door and motioned for me to do the same. He told me that I wasn't allowed to kill or harm any of them so I should only do it as a last resort.

Yeah right, I thought, I wanna take as many of them down as I can.

My thoughts didn't even sound like my own anymore. It was cold, harsh and abrasive. I needed to focus on the little bits of me that still contained some humanity. I needed to get my humanity back, but how would I do that?

Suddenly Bobby was turning the handle and the door creaked open. Before us there were thirty demons in the confined space with more moving about upstairs. I raised the shotgun to eye level and aimed. There was a cheap laugh from the hoard and Gregory stepped forward.

"Making your last stand I see. Are you going to make some heroic speech like the one from Braveheart or something?"

I fired. A round of rocksalt hit him in the chest and sent him staggering backwards. He recovered after a few moments and cast some distressed eyes down to the front of his suit and then back to me. I had to suppress a laugh. I felt Bobby bristle next to me. He fired too and all hell broke loose.

Demons appeared out of nowhere, powerful ones too. They appeared to sail down from the rafters. The salt had the same effect of them as it did on Gregory. After five rounds and managing to push the front line back only two paces we were both starting to have doubts about this plan. There had to be a break for me to get through otherwise I'd just get caught and taken back to another warehouse. I didn't feel like getting my guts cut up like that again.

I packed another round into my shotgun and looked for a weak spot. There had to be a weakness, there always is. My eyes travelled up and down the line several times until I saw it. There was a gap between two of the demons. It was only a foot wide but that's all I needed. Bobby would need more. I aimed for the demon on the left and hit him keenly in the right shoulder. It staggered to the side of a moment and Bobby followed my lead by hitting the other one. The gap was now two foot but it would close quickly and they'd figure it out.

"Run goddamnit! Don't just stand there!"

I felt someone shove me into the crowds and from then on it was all instinct with only one desperate voice screaming at me to go back and save Bobby. But my feet just kept going. I was through the gap in a few seconds. I felt the demons breath on my skin as they kept up with me. I was dodging and twisting between them trying to get to the stairs. I shot at many of them and when my ammo ran out I just hit them with the gun itself.

When I did make it to the stairs I gave one last look back at Bobby as he came out of the panic room and fired madly into the group. My heart stopped for a minute and I prayed for him to get back in the room. I prayed for him to be safe.

"Move Roxanne!" he screamed. I didn't want those words to be the last ones he said to me.

I had to turn my head away and keep going. I didn't want to see him die and I didn't want to sense it either but I knew there was no way I would be able to get him out of there alive and kicking. So I ran. I ran like a coward out of the house and into the yard. I don't know how I did it or how I got the demons to stay away.

When I made it outside I found a battered blue car that had just been repaired. I hotwired it and drove. Tears clouded my vision as it began to rain. The salty water that spilled down my cheeks began to steam and caused the glass to become foggy. I was driving like a madman until I knew that I was far enough from the house. I pulled over and allowed myself to sink into the endless sobs.


	59. Chapter Fifty Nine

**Chapter Fifty Nine**

It felt like hours had passed when I felt like I could control myself again. However, the digital clock hammered into the dashboard told me it had only been forty minutes. The shaking returned for a while, and I felt myself becoming detached again. I couldn't lose myself, or any hope that I had just yet.

I needed to cling onto whatever humanity I had left if I was going to survive long enough to save Castiel. At least my tears and fear had proved that there were still some last dregs of humanity left. Maybe if I focused on that feeling then I could get through the next few days or weeks that were left until Lucifer rose.

I snatched at that fear and didn't let go. The orange neon numbers slowly changed until I felt that I felt in charge of my own destiny again.

As I sat back in the battered leather seats, I realised it was raining hard. The windscreen was being continuously pelted with heavy droplets of water. The sound was soothing, just like it always had been. Somehow, it reminded me to get in touch with the boys.

I felt for my cell in one of my pockets. Luckily, it was there and still had some life left in it. I circled around my contacts for a while wondering which of the numbers that Dean would be using this week. Every time I saw Bobby's name, my heart wretched.

Finally, I decided on a number and dialled. When it got to the sixth time I started to wonder if he was ever going to pick up, or whether he was alive enough to do so.

"Rox?" his voice was hoarse but it was definitely him.

"Would it kill you to answer the damn phone once in a while?" I scolded, not really feeling the anger I was portraying. When he started to make an excuse, I cut him off. "It doesn't matter, where are you guys?"

"Pontiac, where else?" He snapped. "Are you in a car?"

I supposed he could tell from the acoustics. "Yes, the house was attacked and I need to move now before they figure out where I am so it'd be nice if you could tell me where you are in Pontiac."

There was a momentary silence before he relayed the information to Sam and whoever else was hanging about. "Shit, Rox, is Bobby with you?"

"No, he gave me a chance to get away. I don't know if he's alive or not."

"We'll meet you at the gas station on West Reynolds Street in a few hours."

And with that we hung up. I turned on the motor and sped off heading east. While I drove, I prayed to God, Buddha, Gabriel and every other angel or deity that would listen; don't let him die.

_-M-_

Almost four hours later, I rolled up to the filling station that Dean had told me to go to. It was on the edge of town and deserted except for the tail end of one car. The impala was parked around the side of the building to hide it from view. To be honest, a passerby wouldn't notice it. A demon was a different story.

I positioned my car behind theirs and got out. I noticed one sleeping figure in the back window. I knew that face. I knew that frame. I knew that soul. But I didn't, it wasn't Castiel. The man in that body was a stranger to me and that scared me more than I like to admit.

Sam and Dean we're stood against the brick wall of the building keeping a steady eye on our surroundings. Their hands rested on their guns. They noticed me immediately, their stance relaxing a little. The brothers made their way towards me, Dean more quickly than Sam. Before I knew it, the elder brother had swept me up into a stifling hug. If I had been my old self I would've begun to weep but instead I gingerly tightened my arms around his shoulders. They felt strong and safe underneath his jacket.

It took a while for him to release me but when I gave a quick nod to Sam. I didn't want to go near him, he stank. He made my skin crawl and I didn't understand why. He'd never done anything bad or unjust towards me. The man in the car began to stir from his slumber but only slowly.

I noticed that there was blood on their shirts. I reached out to touch the spots close to Dean's collar. "What happened?"

"Jimmy went home." Sam informed me, his brother was silent as he stared at me. There was something odd about that blood. "Demon's tracked him and tried to kill his family."

That explained it, demon blood. My hand dropped from his chest. "Did their plan work?"

"No," Dean sighed. "We dropped them in a parking lot and told them to run while they had a chance."

"Do they have a chance?" a small, soft voice asked from behind. I turned to see Jimmy almost pleading with us. His eyes were focused only on me. He expected me to tell him the truth.

"It depends on the demon's priority. They can still use them to get to you but there's no point in that unless you know about it. They might just go for you now." I tried to say it as sensitively as I could. Part of me didn't care about his family because I refused to admit that he had one. How could Castiel walk around for a year in someone else's body and never tell me or anyone else?

Goddamn celestials.

The man nodded for a few moments and stood there awkwardly, not talking. I moved to one side so that he could join in the conversation should he feel like talking more.

"What happened?" Sam wondered trying to catch my eye.

I avoided it, I didn't know what I'd see if I did look at him directly. So I chose to stare beyond the tattered chain link fence watching the street lights half a mile away. "Demons attacked us. They broke the salt lines by causing a storm and we barricaded ourselves in the basement. Bobby cleared a path with rock salt so I could get out."

"And he didn't come with you?"

"He didn't want to." I whispered.

Dean looked appalled, "you're kidding me, he's like a dad to you and you just left him there!"

My voice felt flat, distant; just like those street lights. "What else could I do? If I used whatever power I have, Cas would be in even more trouble and I would end up dead. The angel's would kill me before I even had a chance to react and you know it. He just wouldn't listen to me, he told me not to argue." I could hardly be rallied into an argument anymore.

Before he could reply, Dean's cell began to vibrate. He took it out of his pocket and stared at the illuminated screen for a little while before answering. He quickly passed it over to Jimmy. Sam got out his own cell and tried calling Bobby.

_-M-_

I walked away when he dialled for the tenth time. I just could not deal with the thought of Bobby being dead. It felt wrong. It felt sickeningly wrong. I blocked it out for the time being, I knew I shouldn't have done but I did.

I decided to go into the main building and buy some candy. My energy levels were starting to get low and it took my mind off the current situation. When I approached the counter I felt something niggle at my senses. It was something that I hadn't felt before.

Again, I was reminded of the sword hidden in my jacket. It had a habit of being forgotten about until it was needed most. Almost like it faded into nothing until the moment it could feel a battle closing in around it and the wielder. I took a few steps closer to the kiosk. There was no one there behind the plastic wall. I called out hoping for someone to answer me but there was nothing.

Another few steps and I noticed that the door employees used to come out onto the floor was open. It rocked gently against the rest of the counter. Edging closer I pulled it open and glanced in. I cursed when I saw a pool of blood and a poor kid's mangled body.

It was too much of a coincidence. Skin torn into ribbons that sprayed across the floor like one of those May Day poles. Intestines and stomach lining spattered the back of the counter. The lungs and heart were barely recognisable; they reminded me of raw mince meat.

The stench made me want to chuck. It stank so strongly of sulphur that I knew there was no other option. Something from the very depths of hell had risen up to do this. Cautiously, I reached inside my jacket and felt the blade. It was comforting in my grasp. But nothing explained the strange feeling.

It wasn't a demon, but it was definitely from hell. I could feel the brimstone heat rising, tingling my senses. Whatever it was, it knew I was here. I began to back away towards the exit. I dropped the door I had been propping open, it banged against the plastic. The noise was louder than it should've been and I felt the being shift.

I didn't shout or cry out. That would only make it move faster. The shadows felt wrong. It was like it was watching me through them while being somewhere else.

I caught sight of something behind the counter. A black, ridged hump that sauntered along like it was hunting. I gripped the blade harder until my knuckles were white. It seemed to be unnaturally tall. Once, I thought I saw a swish of a tail made out of only bone.

Half way there, I told myself. I was half way to the exit. All I had to do was wish that it was a simple lumbering beast that'd eaten its fill but I was never that lucky. Another few steps and the door opened for a second before banging itself closed. That shredded my last nerve. I lost my baring and backed into a shelf making the goods fall off and clatter.

Instinctively, I looked back to see the destruction. I glanced back to find a snout poking out of the door. Lips were raised, yellowed teeth barred, a low dangerous growl echoing around the store.

It advanced out and I was frozen to the spot. I was too entranced by fear and curiosity to move. Its fur was black and seemed to swallow all the light that dared touch it. Red eyes that glowed with all of hells fury never left me. Its ears were pointing backwards; their tips glowing amber as if they were on fire. The being's legs were covered in fur until they reached the knee, below that there were ligaments, tendons and muscles left exposed. Monstrous claws covered in blood sat on the end of each toe. Its tail had no flesh and the vertebrae cracked as it moved menacingly from side to side.

It came closer and closer. I still couldn't move. Those eyes instilled more than fear inside me. A desire began to rise. A bell tinkled behind me. I didn't turn around to see who it was.

Sam's distant voice floated through the air towards me, "Rox, what's up?"

Can't you see it? I was thinking. Can't you see this hideously beautiful monster?

I felt him behind me. His arm touched my shoulder. I didn't take my eyes away from the beast and its eyes didn't stray from mine.

It stopped when it was no more than two feet away from me. The growling got louder and louder. It just kept staring. I was in a trance. A part of me was screaming to move, to get out, and to kill it. But how could I when it was so mesmerising?

The sword in my hand began to shake from within. I began to come out from under its spell and a few late but well meant whispered words, 'Never look into a Hell Hound's eyes'.

My eyes moved to its snout and I focused there until I was confident I had enough control over my arms and legs. The hound leaned back getting ready to pounce. As it began to leap I angled my grip on the sword and caught it from underneath. There was a squelch and a stench as I stabbed beneath its rib cage.

It still sent me flying backwards underneath its claws. My back hit the floor with a crack. I knew I was going to feel that in the morning. The creature tried to wriggle free from the sword but only ended up pushing it deeper and deeper in. Blood flooded out of its wound onto my clothes.

I was barely aware of what Sam was doing. He disappeared for a moment and reappeared with Dean and salt. It was like they had no idea what was going on. Couldn't they see the beast? Were they just going to stand there while it snapped viciously at my face, neck and shoulders? Its teeth scraped against my skin causing tears and my own blood leaked out.

Eventually the beast began to tire and yelp between growls. The men threw salt in my direction, half of it barely hit the hound. The little that did make contact was enough to make it turn on its heel and retreat to the shadows. The hound had wretched itself violently from my sword which did more damage to its body than I had been give a chance to do. It vanished as soon as most of its body was hidden from the light. I moved backwards as quick as I could to get away.

Instantly, I was being pulled to my feet by two young men. They gazed at the level of blood on the floor and my wounds. They were making calculations. The blade was still held tight in my hand. I saw a shadow at the door and noticed Jimmy staring wide eyed at me. For a second, I hoped it had been Castiel.

_-M-_

A/N- 303 reviews and over 70,000 hits! Thank you ever so much, you guys! Thank you for just taking the time to read this.


	60. Chapter 60

**Chapter Sixty**

Had that just happened?

It couldn't have!

My head was spinning. Hell hounds were real, or so the voice of Gabriel had told me. I remembered the stories in those old, moth bitten books in the library that I used to read as a kid. Different places, different authors but the stories were always the same. A black hound with hellfire for eyes would walk the streets at night waiting for the soul their master demanded. The poor bastard never stood a chance, they couldn't see them, not really. They just looked like shadows but they had so much more substance. Accounts of people who had witnessed attacked always said there was a stench of death on the road or in the room. Now I knew what they meant.

The smell was almost overpowering. I wanted to be sick and started to wretch. The boys let me double over and throw up the small amount of bile that sat in my stomach.

"Whatever it was, she's in shock" Sam stated as if I wasn't even there.

I put my hand up to lean against a shelving unit and gripped the sword even harder. I felt their hands release me. Dean drew his gun and wandered towards the kiosk, over the blood and peered at the dead body beyond. He sighed.

"It's gone."

I shook my head. "It could be anywhere. It lives in the shadows."

"Then we're leaving"

Before I knew what was happening, I was bungled into the back on the Impala along with Jimmy and we were circling Pontiac.

-M-

I pressed antiseptic wipes to the cuts over my face, neck and arms. They weren't deep and started to heal when any foreign objects were removed. I'd found all sorts- a piece of glass, salt and even a claw. I pulled it out of my neck and held it up to the light. It looked like something out of Jurassic Park.

"Was that thing a dinosaur?" Dean asked as he watched me through the rear view mirror.

I sighed. "It was a hellhound"

Those words caused Dean to pullover. Everyone turned and stared. Jimmy kept glancing at me from the corner of his eye. I couldn't bear to look right at him. It felt like someone had stabbed my heart with an icy dagger each time I did.

"You saw it?"

I nodded, "Yeah, saw everything. Stared right into its eyes and saw the pits of hell. It felt like I couldn't move, like I didn't want to. It seemed so beautiful."

"I'm kinda glad I didn't see it then" Dean murmured, "I only smelt it."

Our eyes met for a moment. I broke a small smile, "Guess that's another one of my talents then. But who was it after? It didn't just hang around in the gas station because it fancied eating a teenager."

"Could've been after any of us" Sam wondered aloud.

"No," I sighed, "They were either after Jimmy thinking he'd just wander off from you guys or they knew that when I left Bobby's I'd only go to you. I can't think of anything else really, not unless someone's not telling us something."

The younger Winchester avoided my eyes and looked at his brother. Dean looked between us, suspicion growing on his face like a plague. His lip started to curl.

"What is going on, Sam?"

Sam looked flabbergasted. He looked between each of us when Dean's cell phone began to ring. Metallic filled the silence in the car for a few moments.

"Answer it, it could be Bobby" someone suggested.

He answered, "Hello?"

There was a hissing on the other end. The voice crackled and I assumed it was Ruby for a second. "Hey, is Jimmy there? It's Amelia. Can I talk to him?"

My eyes widened as the phone was passed onto Jimmy. My head was spinning, how long had Amelia been a demon?

"Amelia, what's the matter?"

There was a snorting laugh. "I'm not Amelia, you idiot. But I am inside her, and I have your daughter. She's called Claire, right? I'll cut to the chase, come to the warehouse on Elkin street alone and they'll live. I can't guarantee you'll live, that's up to my boss you see. Bring anyone else and everybody dies, get it?"

Jimmy nodded as tears filled his eyes, "yeah, I get it. Just don't hurt them"

He hung up. The brothers watched him wondering what the hell had gone off. He explained to them while I stared out of the window and into the distance. The rosary was cold around my neck and seemed heavier than before. It seemed that with each death and mistake, this necklace was a little bit closer to dragging me into hell. Jeez, I hoped Bobby was okay.

The car started up again and we were off heading towards Elkin Street.

-M-

We had about 3 hours left before dawn and when the industrial estate would be brimming with people. If this was sorted before everyone clocked on, then as few people would end up hurt as possible. I didn't seem to be the only person to get this over and done with. Jimmy began to wring his hands. A nervous trait that I'd only seen Castiel mimic once. I guess Jimmy had a bigger effect on him then he liked.

Dean and Sam turned around. The older one told us the plan, "Jimmy, you're gonna go in their alone, just like they wanted but we'll be 5 paces behind you. Rox, you're gonna stay in the car 'cause they'll sense you a mile off."

I sighed but wasn't in the mood for arguing. I stayed in the car and watched them walk off in the darkness. I wasn't sat their long before I saw a cloud of smoke travel down from the sky and land just behind the car. I fought my instincts and sunk down trying to hide myself. The sword poked me in the side wanting me to fight.

Footsteps stalked their way around the car and by this time I was curled up in the foot space. They circled their way around the car three times. My senses warned me that this was a powerful demon that I'd met before. The feeling disappeared and I guessed they'd gone into the warehouse. I relaxed a little bit and sat back in the seat.

I'd made a stupid mistake. Suddenly the car was being thrown towards the wall. It had rolled on its sides and I clung onto the seat as we collided. The rook crumpled in and it dropped to the floor with a hideous crack. When I opened my eyes, I saw that the car was upside down and the body was crushed. A window nearby was broken and I tried to crawl towards it. I could fit most of my body through it.

I was halfway through when a man stood before me. He looked down, his handsome face shadowed and smiled. It was Gregory. He'd found me.

"Now don't look so scared." He said and placed one hand on my shoulder and pulled me from the car. A shard of glass dug into my stomach and caused a gash all the way down to my thigh. I cried out in pain.

He held me up until we were eye level with each other. He grinned at me revealing yellowed teeth and eyes like pit holes, "You almost killed my Hellhound. Now that is quite a feat."

"So that was your pet? It was dumb, practically skewered itself on my sword" I spat blood at him and his lip curled. A grey tongue left his mouth and wiped it away.

"You are delicious. Who knew such a monstrosity could taste so good. If you were on our side, we could have so much fun." Desire started to cloud his eyes.

I took my chance and kicked. He released me and was sent flying in to the brick wall behind him. The building shook for a few seconds and he sunk to the ground.

"I gave Alistair my answer," I told him as I reached for the sword. I drew it ready for his retaliation. "So you can go back to hell."

He stood up and straightened his suit. He rolled his neck and faced me. He walked slowly, speaking as he did, "You'll come to our side eventually, the world will end, the Angels will fall and your God will die. Ours will rise and we will live."

I scoffed, "Lucifier will kill any angels or humans that get in his way before his obliterates the planet. But you know he's gonna kill the demons too, right?"

He lunged for me and I scratched him across his chest. The sword hummed in my hand. He jumped back and threw me to the floor. It winded me. He was on top of me leering.

"And you'll fall too, Hybrid!"

He knocked the sword out of my hands and held me down. He face was mere millimetres from mine. That grey tongue lashed about inside his mouth. It fell out and traced itself against my face and down my neck. My blood began to boil. If Castiel couldn't touch me, why should a filthy demon?

I felt my lips move back and I bit into his neck. The demon screamed and withered in my grip. He thrashed about as blood poured out of the body. A cloud of black smoke escaped from his mouth and was gone. The body went limp and I spat out the blood. I rolled the body off of me and heard screams from inside the building.

Something had gone wrong.

A/N

Well, it's been a while! Not very long but I hope you enjoy this one :3


	61. Fire Within

**Marked**

_Chapter Sixty One – Fire Within_

There was a burning on my lips. I wiped away the demon's blood with the back of my hand as I turned towards the warehouse. Someone screamed again. It sounded hysterical, high pitched, like a child's scream.

_Claire._

There was a fire that filled me now. It was stronger than any anger or desire that had filled me before. I'd never felt like I had such a purpose before. My jaw was set. My teeth were grounding against each other. A low dangerous sigh left my chest. My feet were moving fast, I was almost running. I didn't feel any pain that I'd experienced during the fight with Gregory. It had been washed away by this new feeling. My heart was thumping in my chest, rattling against my ribcage. My hand was curled around the Angel Sword. It's celestial steel becoming an extension of my own hand.

I ran past the battered car and into a dimly lit alley way running down one side of the warehouse that I'd seen Dean and Sam disappear down only moments before. I could feel the mud giving way easily under my feet. An unstable floor designed to make it more difficult to fight off an attack. It was sheltered from the wind that was whistling through the cracks between mismatched corrugated iron sheets and containers that framed one side of the alley. The cracks were covered with wire fencing to stop people escaping. There was no sky to be seen from this part as someone had placed more iron sheets and wire fencing on top.

"This was meant as an ambush."

I realised it with sick dread. No one was supposed to leave here alive. The demons were going to massacre everyone. Electricity seemed to hum through the Sword and up my arm. The new purpose was like a flare inside me and it was getting brighter with every passing moment. Suddenly, it was as though light shone from me. The alley was lit up as if I was holding a torch. At the bottom of the alley way there was a rough hole in the wall leading into the warehouse. It had been freshly cut out and had jagged edges showing quick, shoddy work. The demons had blocked up all of the other doors leading into and out of the warehouse. They had made their own entrance into the building, one from which they expected no one to escape from.

I peered through the man shaped hole and saw a bloodbath. There were dozens of demons scrambling over each other to try and get to Sam and Dean who were struggling to fight off the hoard. There were bodies thrown everywhere. I couldn't see Jimmy or Claire. I wondered which one of the demons was supposed to be Amelia but I couldn't see any demons possessing the body of a woman old enough to have a twelve year old daughter.

Taking a deep breath I stepped over the threshold just as the demon closest to the entrance noticed me. The demon was male, as were most of them in the room. The body that the demon was possessing was middle aged with a balding head, pale skin and green eyes. The poor bastard locked inside as the demon ravaged about his body as if it were its own was probably a loving husband and father who worked in something as mundane as a Stationary company. Now he was going to die on the end of my blade. The thought made me sick inside but it paled in comparison to the anger, frustration, fear, desire and purpose that filled me like fire.

As my boot hit the floor slippery with blood, he lunged for me. The demon was over keen. As he jumped to try and knock me to the ground I thrust the sword into his abdomen. The sword was angled upwards into his ribcage. His own momentum forced his vessel's heart onto the tip of my blade. It was over in little less than a moment. I saw the demon die. It was a great flare that burned out the nerve-endings, synapses and muscles of the guy within. He slumped down into my arms, blood seeping from his mouth. The man was bleeding out and in absolute agony. His green eyes focused in on mine. I saw a single tear escape from one of those eyes and roll down his cheek.

"I'm sorry."

I whispered it so lightly that I wasn't even sure that he'd heard me. By the time that the tear had rolled to the line of his mouth, he was gone. I felt his life leave the abused body. I placed his body onto the ground and removed the Sword. For a second remorse filled me so greatly that I was lost in the battle. I didn't know what to do. I hated these demons and I had killed them but I hadn't thought about the person inside who was killed along with them.

I felt a tingling in my fingers. I looked down and realised it was in the hand that held the Angel Sword. It brought me back from the dark abyss of those thoughts. A screaming filled my ears. At first, I thought it was Claire screaming again. It was a man's scream. It was deep and wounded. It was a shriek of pain.

I looked up and saw that it was Dean screaming. The demons were still pouring on him. A gun sounded and one demon dropped to the floor only for another to replace it. Sam couldn't help his brother; he was still struggling to fight off the demons that were attacking him. There was another scream of pain. The feeling of purpose filled me again, with greater ferocity than it had done before. A red mist descended over me. Before I knew it I was behind one of the demons and my arm drew the blade up above my head and pushed it into the creature's neck. It howled in an ancient hellish tongue before flickering out of existence. I stabbed again and again until all the demons lay dead at my feet.

Dean was laid on the floor. He had been pushed down by a demon who had knocked the gun and blade out of his hands. His shirt and jacket were dirty, bloodied and ripped. I wasn't sure if the skin beneath the clothes was in the same state. His eyes appeared feverish as he looked me up and down. I held out a hand to help him up and he accepted, wincing and grunting as he came to his feet.

Sam had his own pile of bodies laid at his feet. He was punching an injured demon who escaped in a dark cloud of smoke out of the makeshift door. I noticed a splodge of blood at the corner of his mouth as we drew closer. Dean had recovered his weapons. Even though he was injured he glared at me fiercely.

"Do you know what you've done?" he scolded while holding the ribs on his right side.

Sam shook his head, "where's Jimmy?"

As if on cue there was a scream from deeper in the warehouse. It was Claire's scream. It was more desperate than before and trailed off into a sob. Without another word we made our way over the bodies. The building was incredibly dark with only low safety lighting allowing us to see where we were going. I realised that we were in the loading bay of the warehouse. Most of the bodies were on the platform near the office. We cautiously made our way down a set of stairs. They were made of iron and painted yellow. On the handrail and in the middle of each step, the paint had worn away to leave the grey-black iron underneath visible. It was no wonder that the demons had shied away from the several sets of staircases that took you to where the trucks were parked.

The floor at the bottom was concreted and only one truck was parked up. There was another scream. It was closer now. She must be in the next bay. There were no bodies or any more demons that we could see as we walked down the bay. I saw an old model Ford parked by a shuttered garage door. Next to it was a lit up window.

Dean motioned for Sam and I to stay where we were on the other side of the Ford. He crouched down and shimmied around the car trying to get a look at who was inside the room. The blade started to hum again and I glanced at Sam. He seemed to hear it, his hazel eyes lingered on it. There was definitely a mark of blood on his lip.

"Psst!"

Our heads snapped round simultaneously. Dean motioned for us to get down low like him. I went first and Sam followed behind me. We huddled together quietly. The older Winchester nodded to the window as to signal that Claire was in there. We moved around the Ford and saw that there was an open door leading into the other part of the warehouse. There was probably a trap waiting inside for us. Claire, Amelia and Jimmy could be dead for all we knew and Alistair was waiting inside for us. I put a hand against the Ford to steady myself.

**-M-**

An image came to me. It was an underground garage with poor lighting. There was the sound of a car driving off and a little girl sobbing in the backseat of the Ford. It was Claire and she was upset because she'd had to say goodbye to her Dad again.

She pushed her blonde hair aside and carried on crying. There was a woman in the driver's seat. She glanced at her daughter in the rear-view mirror and turned the key in the ignition. The sound of the engine filled the car. Claire kept crying, getting louder and louder.

The woman snapped. "Stop crying, you brat!"

"Mom?"

"I'm not your fucking Mom."

Claire's crying got worse. The woman turned in the seat to face her and slapped her across the face. The crack silenced the kid.

"I said stop fucking crying."

**-M-**

I felt a rough hand on mine and it brought me away from the image. I gulped and pushed the thoughts aside. My eyes focused in on Dean's face and there was a squeeze on my fingers. I returned the squeeze, to reassure him that I was okay. He nodded briefly. I pulled my hand away and rested it on the rosary. It was still heavy and dull. There was no hope to get from Castiel.

We moved towards the door and burst in. My eyes found Claire immediately. She was at the back of the small room tied to a chair. Her head was slumped onto her chest but she wasn't dead. Jimmy was being held up by the throat by a woman in her thirties. Her hair was loosely tied up. It must've been Amelia. Jimmy was still conscious though he was being choked to death. Amelia had her back to us and Jimmy's eyes focused in on us.

Sam fired a salt round into her back. She let Jimmy go and crumpled to the floor in a heap. Castiel's vessel took a gulp of air and tried to crawl towards his daughter. The demon inside Amelia's body got up and turned towards us. Her lips curled on one side.

"Finally, I get to meet this Hybrid that everybody's talking about." She lamented. "And the Winchester's of course, I can't forget you two pretty boys, can I?"

"Go to hell." I seethed, I wanted to do nothing more than shove the Angel Blade down her throat.

She scoffed. "No, thank you. I'm not going back there and this little party is going to make sure I don't."

"Excuse me?" Sam asked.

"Demon's who bring in people with big bounties on their head's get an assured place at Lilith's side." She smiled graciously. "And you're not going to stop me handing these bounties in because that demon that Sam let slip out has brought reinforcements. Nice knowing you guys."

There was a noise behind us. I turned and saw another ten demons staring at us. We were surrounded. They attacked us instantly. I saw red again and killed a demon as soon as it came within an arm's reach of me. The other demons were more cautious after that. I must've taken down four of them while Sam and Dean battled the other six. As I killed the forth I saw that Amelia had approached the unconscious Claire and was whispering things into her ear and produced a knife. Jimmy gained his strength and attacked her while she was distracted. However, she spun and stabbed him in the stomach.

I felt gut-renching pain. My hand went to my stomach. I lifted it up and saw blood. I looked down and saw that blood was pumping out of me. I felt it seep out of the corner of my mouth.

The blood bond! A voice in my head screamed.

My eyes returned to Jimmy. Amelia twisted the knife. I spluttered and coughed up blood. She pushed him off her knife and onto the floor. I sank to my knees. I dropped the Angel Blade and clutched at the hole in my gut.

"Rox!"

I was going dizzy. My eyes couldn't focus. I coughed up more blood. I felt hands on my face. Everything was fuzzy. All the colours mixed together.

"Rox!" the voice faded in and out of me being able to hear it.

I slumped backwards and their arms caught me from smacking my head on the floor. Hands were scrambling at my stomach. I felt someone pushing at it. My face was wet. Everything was going back.

There was a high pitched noise that filled me up. Then I saw nothing but light. I still felt the pain, the blood spluttered from my mouth, my head was tilted back. I started to drown in my own blood.

I could hear voices again.

"Take me!" it screamed, "Leave my daughter alone!"

A few moments later, or it could've been a lifetime later, I felt a burning on my chest. I was lifted off of the floor. My head was forced up and I coughed up all the blood that had gone into my lungs. I couldn't see anything but a yellow light.

A cool hand rested lightly on my forehead.

"Rest now."

A/N- This has been a long time coming and I'm sorry it took so long. I hope you guys enjoyed it! By the way, I hope you guys know that my puppy was adamant on not letting me finish this chapter, she just wanted to play so much. I believe she's my new muse so she'll be looking forward to your reviews as much as I am!


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